Every One Of Me

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Every One Of Me Page 26

by Jessica Wilde


  Charlie

  The fight only lasted one round.

  The first hit I connected stunned Frankie and after that it was over. He couldn't defend himself once I got him to the ground. His fist did connect with my bottom lip, though, and it was split open and bleeding as I made my way to the backroom. The kid was a good sport. He gave me a weak hug and that same cocky grin.

  "Thanks for that, Mackenzie," he had said.

  After looking at him in confusion for a few seconds, he laughed, "Or is it you who should be thanking me? Guess you're night is going as well as mine."

  I didn't stick around much longer. I needed to stop Benny from carrying out her ridiculous plan and I just had to pull Jessi aside and talk to her.

  Unfortunately, Benny and Trevor were quicker than I thought. The two bimbos that had been sitting behind them were sitting on the couch waiting for me looking like predators about to make their next kill. When they saw me walk in with my team in tow, they launched themselves at me.

  I felt bile rise up as their scent hit me. I think they may have bathed in nothing but perfume and the strength of it was nauseating. That headache I had been fighting back was now the only thing I could focus on.

  "What a fight. You were so incredible out there, like, totally insane. Watching you… wow! It seriously is like, so hot."

  "Umm, thanks." I looked around frantically for Benny and Tess… or Jessi, I guess, but they weren't in the room. Trevor was, and he looked like he was about to run. "If you even think about it, you take these with you."

  He shook his head and started toward me. By then, the girls had latched themselves onto each arm and were plastered against me. Hands were roaming over me as I struggled to get away without hurting them.

  "Please, don't. You ladies need to get out."

  They both laughed like I had just told the funniest joke and pressed closer. "We were told that we could hang out with you. Looks like you need some company anyway. We are available and will take really good care of you."

  I tugged harder to get my arms out of their vise like grips. They were surprisingly strong for how skinny they were and their bony fingers were sure to leave bruises.

  "Get off of me and get out," I said firmly.

  "What the hell?"

  I jerked my head to the door at the sound of her voice. Blue eyes were looking my way.

  "Jessi."

  She was glaring at the two hyenas attached to my sides, but when she looked into my eyes, I saw pain.

  Trevor finally came to my aid and pulled one of the girls off of me as I pushed the other away, making her fall onto the couch. I saw the decision in Jessi's eyes before she took the first step. She flew towards the girls with a fierceness that I had never seen before.

  She was going to kill them.

  I stepped in front of her as she careened towards the one in Trevor's grasp. She crashed into my chest, but pushed and shoved as she tried to claw her way to the woman. I wrapped my arms around her tiny waist and lifted her off the ground before she could get away. She was screaming in French so I had no idea what she was saying, but from the sound of it, it was filthy.

  I hauled her out the door and into the room across the hall, kicking the heavy door shut behind us and turning the lock before setting her down.

  "Let me go! I need to teach those sluts a lesson!"

  Her cheeks were flushed and her brow was scrunched in anger. The fire in her blue eyes was blazing, much like the inferno in Tessa's eyes when she got mad.

  It was gorgeous.

  "After I'm done, you can do whatever you want. Just let me go out there and--"

  I silenced her with a hard kiss and pulled her into my arms again. She went stiff for a few seconds until I swept my tongue over her bottom lip, then she melted against me and started to move her lips against mine.

  My cut lip stung with the force of the kiss, and I knew it was going to start bleeding again, but I ignored it. The pain was nothing.

  I slipped my tongue into her mouth and she made a whimpering sound that sent electricity coursing through my veins. I pulled her tighter against me and she wrapped her arms around my neck, tugging on my hair to get me closer.

  I felt myself starting to lose control and realized that I had completely forgotten that this wasn't Tess. I tore away from her leaving both of us panting.

  "Charlie. What… why did you do that?"

  I took a few deep breaths, willing my body to calm down, before I answered her.

  "Why wouldn't I?"

  She shoved a hand through her long hair and turned away from me. I knew what I had to do. Tess would want me to do it before I lost her completely.

  "I love you, Jessamyn. You may not know why and I don't know how to explain it, but I do."

  "You do?" Her eyes were wide and frightened and I could see the beat of her pulse in her slender neck. I wanted to feel that rhythm with my lips, but I didn't move. I stayed in front of the door so she couldn't leave before I was finished.

  She looked down at her feet, wringing her hands together nervously. She spoke so quietly that I almost couldn't hear her. "You are the only man I feel safe with. The only man I could ever see myself…"

  "See yourself what?"

  She changed her mind about whatever she was going to say and turned away from me again. "How is this possible? How can you love Tess and still love the rest of us?"

  "Because that's what Tess wants. She doesn't want to live her life as four different women. She wants all of you to be able to live that life with her. I don't want her to be afraid, though, if that doesn't work out."

  "I'm sorry, Charlie. I don't understand what you say."

  Her accent was getting thicker as her emotions started to crash around her. I could tell that she was about to lose it and I wasn't sure why.

  "You are a part of Tess. A part she created to deal with the worry and fear she has about being with me for the rest of her life. You are her strength in her love for me. Without you…"

  She stepped closer to me as I thought about my next words. My heart raced and my fingers twitched with the urge to grab onto her and never let her go.

  "I don't want to lose any of you. I see how each of you are a piece of her. A strength for her that she may not believe she can have herself." I stepped toward her, close enough to feel the heat radiating off of her. "That makes her strong in ways other women can't be all at once. Therefore, Tess is the perfect woman because she has all of you."

  Her lips twitched, fighting a smile. I lifted my hands and held her face between them.

  "I've got a lot of holes in my soul, Jessi. You all make up the perfect woman to fill them."

  Her blue eyes pierced through me as she looked into my eyes, like she was reaching into the missing pieces of my soul and mending them together.

  "I have never been in love before, Charlie. Is that what this is?"

  I kissed her lips softly then pressed my forehead to hers. "This is so much more than just being in love, but since there isn't a word strong enough to describe it, then yes. That is what this is."

  She closed her eyes and sighed. This was the moment Tess was telling me about, the moment she asked me to take advantage of when the time came, but watching her open her eyes and seeing blue instead of my favorite chocolate caramel, I felt doubt. I loved them all, but Tess had my heart completely.

  "Can we go home?" Her usual sharp voice waivered and I knew she had come to a decision. What that was, I had no idea, and it terrified me either way.

  I kissed her again, because I just couldn't help myself, and nodded. "Of course."

  An hour later, we were sitting in front of my house, our house, with the car turned off and silence surrounding us.

  "Is it difficult for you to identify with all of us?" she asked shakily.

  I entwined our fingers together and kissed her hand. "Not anymore. Your blue eyes give you away, but you all hold yourself differently."

  "I wish I could meet her, Charlie. Really speak with
her and find out why she needs me."

  "I do, too. She occasionally gets to be with Lydia and Camryn. Maybe one day she will with you."

  She didn't respond, but smiled shyly.

  We walked hand in hand through the front door and up the stairs to our room. She paused just outside the door, looking unsure. She glanced down the hallway at the guestroom before turning back and walking into the bathroom while I changed into some sweats and a t-shirt. It was late, and I was exhausted, but not knowing what was going to happen was going to keep me awake.

  Tess wanted me to treat the girls like I would treat her. If it was Tess in that bathroom, I would storm in there and take her on the counter. Instead of doing that, I sat on the bed with my head in my hands. I know she was okay with it, but it still felt like I would be making love to a different woman.

  I grabbed my pants off the floor and reached inside the pocket, pulling out the small velvet box encasing the ring I had gotten for Tess. Obviously, with everything that happened tonight, there wasn't a chance to ask her to marry me. I wasn't sure how long before she switched back, but when she did, I wasn't going to wait any longer.

  I strained my ears to hear what she was doing in there, but there was complete silence. I looked around the room, smiling when I saw her touches on the dresser and the pictures on the wall. All of them were of the two of us from different times in our lives. When I looked at her nightstand, I saw her journal lying there, opened. It wasn't necessarily her journal, but it was where she spoke with the alters and told them her deepest thoughts and feelings. She told me I was welcomed to read it, but I never did so myself. She had always just read pieces of it to me.

  After hiding the ring in the drawer of my nightstand, I stretched across the bed and lifted the book into my hands. It was opened to a place in the middle of all the entries. One page was written in tall, elegant handwriting, while the other page was written in short letters with sharp edges. So different. I knew the short letters were Camryn and the tall was Lydia. I read a few lines from each page, all explaining what had happened during the switch. I flipped through a few pages until I got to Tessa's writing.

  Her letters were wide and curvy, much like a typical woman's handwriting would be. What caught my eye was the large letters in the middle of the page spelling out my name.

  CHARLIE,

  I know one day you will read this on your own without me forcing you to. I hope by then, you haven't decided to leave all this craziness behind, but I can't force you to stay.

  I love you more than anything, Charlie, and I know you love me. I know it in the deepest part of my heart and soul.

  The girls love you, too, in their own ways. Each one of them can love you in ways that I would never be able to on my own. Which seems impossible to me, but I know it's true.

  Love them back, Charlie. Show each one of them why I can't let you go. Show them why they should never let you go.

  Other people may think we are insane to pursue this. I understand how it looks, I even understand how you might feel about it and I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do. But I love you enough and want to be with you enough to not ask you to constantly be waiting for me to show up.

  Do whatever makes you happy because no matter what that is, I'm happy with you.

  I love you.

  Every one of me does.

  I read over her words again and again, thanking God for letting me have her.

  The sound of the bathroom door opening caught my attention and when I looked up, Tessa's chocolate caramel eyes were looking back at me and she was smiling so brightly that I had a hard time taking in a breath at the sight.

  "Tess?"

  She stepped toward me, cautiously, like she was approaching a frightened animal, but she was still smiling.

  "Baby?"

  "Yes, Charlie. It's me."

  "I missed you."

  She hurried over to me and looked at what I was reading before tossing the journal aside and sitting herself down on my lap. I immediately buried my nose in her neck and wrapped my arms around her.

  She kissed the top of my head and ran her fingers through my hair. "Tell me everything."

  ***

  Tessa

  Charlie told me everything that had happened, including Benny's ludicrous plan to get Jessi jealous enough to reveal her true feelings for Charlie, which apparently worked, but not the way she thought it would.

  I'm just glad it didn't backfire like it would have if Charlie had played along. No way would Jessi put up with that. She had been burned too much in the past.

  It was Charlie's kisses that fixed everything. Knowing that he saw her and her alone was the deciding factor. She loved Charlie, deeply, but she had no intention of taking it further than that kiss, which was a relief for me. I had the asinine idea that Charlie needed to treat all of them as he would treat me, which meant making love to all of them, too. I wanted him to love them and I wanted them to love him, but I didn't realize they would respect me enough to leave it at that.

  I felt Jessi when I came to in the bathroom, staring at myself in the mirror. I even saw the blue of her eyes fade into the brown of mine. I felt her relief and I felt her love for the both of us. She wasn't going to interfere with that in any way. In fact, being in love and being loved back was all she had really wanted.

  Charlie and I ended up lying down facing each other while we talked. He didn't stop touching me the whole time and ran his hand over my body, gradually pulling me closer until we were pressed against each other from chest to thighs with our legs entangled.

  "I don't think I can do what you asked of me, love."

  I knew what he was asking, but I didn't respond. I wanted to hear what he had to say before I told him that he didn't have to do what I asked, because it wasn't the solution. The girls didn't have any intention of being anything more to him than what they already were.

  "I love Lydia and Camryn. I love Jessi. I love all of them so much, but I love my Tess more. You are everything for me, baby. I know they are a part of you and that's why I do love them, but they aren't… you. You are the only one I want to give myself to in every way."

  I smiled at him and ran my fingers over the worry lines on his forehead. He moved his lips against mine in a gently, barely there, kiss. A kiss that told me he would do anything for me, but that he couldn't do this. It wasn't right.

  "They don't want that from you, Charlie."

  "What?"

  "They don't want that part of you, baby. They want that to be mine. I have taken care of them and lived the last few years sacrificing for them. They don't feel right coming between me and the one man they all know was made for me. Especially Jessi. She's not against you kissing her…" I smiled at him to let him know I wasn't either. "She just wants to protect herself, and me."

  His relief was palpable and the look in his eyes told me I had just made a horrible night the greatest of his life. "Thank God. I wouldn't have been able to go through with it."

  "I know."

  "Listen, it's not a big deal for me to wait for you, love. I'm willing to wait however long it takes to get you back to me. I waited 15 years to have you as my own. I can wait a few days here and there, if it comes down to it."

  He kissed me again, a little harder this time, and dipped his tongue against my lips before pulling away again. "Right now, though, I can't wait another minute."

  He rolled away from me and opened the drawer on his nightstand. I was a little confused at first. I was expecting him to rip off my clothes and go for it because I couldn't wait another minute either. He closed the drawer slowly after picking something up and closing it in his hand. He knelt down next to me on the bed and looked like he had broken out in a sweat and I was too busy watching his face to see that he had placed something between us.

  When I looked down at the black velvet box, my heart pounded against my chest as if it were trying to escape my body to jump into his. I looked back up at Charlie, feeling a warmth cover ev
ery inch of my skin and a sting behind my eyes.

  "I know that we haven't been together for very long, but I've spent the last 15 years of my life loving you and hoping to make you mine some day. I'll wait another 15 years if you want me to, but it will always be you, love. I know I'll spend the rest of my life being yours, but I'm asking you to spend the rest of your life being mine."

  He reached for my hand and it shook as he covered it in his.

  "Will you marry me?"

  The tears I had been holding back spilled over and my cheeks ached from the strength of the smile on my face.

  "Yes, Charlie. I'm yours forever."

  His mouth came down on mine and his body covered mine. He groaned when I wrapped myself around him and kissed him with everything I was worth. I heard the tiny box fall to the floor, but didn't stop kissing him.

  "You want to see it?" he asked as he moved his lips down my neck to my collar bone.

  I did, but I didn't want him to stop, yet.

  "Maybe later?" I said breathlessly as his lips touched the sensitive curve of my breast.

  I heard him chuckle, then felt cold air as he pulled himself off of me and grabbed the box off the floor. He wasn't gone long. He covered me again and slipped the ring on my left hand.

  "You can look at it later," he mumbled and returned his mouth to my chest, "but I want to make love to you wearing it for the first time. Proving your really mine."

  He slid up my body and kissed my deeply.

  I forgot about the ring immediately when his hands lifted my shirt over my head. All I could focus on was the feel of him against me. The thought of him loving me for the rest of my life.

  Every one of me.

  Epilogue

  1 year later

  "So, what now?" Benny asked as she tapped her pen on the back of her chair.

  "No idea," I replied. I stuffed the last of my clothes into my new duffel bag and shrugged. "I guess I'll just take it a day at a time."

  She scoffed and quirked an eyebrow. "Really? You are one week overdue, T. Can't they go in there and pull her out or something?"

  I laughed and looked down at my swollen belly, feeling my little girl kick hard against my ribs. It was still so amazing to feel her moving inside of me, even when I felt like my ribs were going to break.

 

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