by Carrie Kelly
Trembling with satisfaction, I fought to catch my breath and process what happened for the second time in just a few days. Jack consumed me with his lusty advances again. And I gave in – again.
Dammit! My heart wasn’t prepared for this. For him.
The air settled around us, thick and reeking of sex. Droplets of sweat clung to our flesh. We’d need another shower in the morning, but I had bigger things to worry about at the moment. Australian things.
Slowly, he pulled his cock free. His heat dripped out over my thighs, dripping on the sheets, and he wrapped his arms around my waist anyway. Peppered my shoulders with kisses before he pressed his lips into the back of my damp head.
“Tell me you want me, love. Can you do that?” he asked, his voice gruff.
Bang. Bang. Bang. The pounding of my heart shook me to the core.
“Why?” I asked in a tiny voice.
“Because I want to hear it. Look at what we’ve been through, Mattie? Yet you react exactly like you did the first time on the plane. You melt in my arms. Your body sings every time I touch it. I can feel your need – your desire. I know you feel it too.”
Chewing my bottom lip, I shook my head. I couldn't tell him how I felt without revealing everything. How I lusted after him for years! My stupid, schoolgirls crush on a man way out of my league. Whatever this was to him – it wasn’t the same for me. His pride might be on the line, but whatever was left of my heart would crumble when he broke it off.
And I knew he would. Steven had.
Fingers dug into my flesh. “Is this about your ex, Mattie? Do you still love him?”
Did I still love Steven? When I thought of him, it hurt because of how stupid I’d been. How naïve and trusting. How much work I put into our wedding just to have him leave me for another woman. But the heartbreak damaged my ego more than anything else.
It strained my self-confidence. If Steven didn’t want me, who would?
But I didn’t explain that to Jack. He wasn’t Fattie Mattie. He couldn’t understand.
“It’s about him, right?”
Pressing my lips together, I held in any words I wanted to say. It was better this way. He’d think it was about Steven and leave me alone. That way things would go back to the way they were before. He wouldn’t be saddled with me.
Suddenly, Jack loosened his hold. His fingers trailed off my skin and he turned his back to mine.
“Good night,” he grumbled.
This is for the best, Tilda. I told myself, but the tears slipped onto the pillow and I could do nothing to stop them.
7
Jack found a boat traveling to Chiang Mai the next morning. He hardly looked at me as he took my hand and helped me on board. At least it was a large motorboat and not a little wooden rowboat like we used before.
Clinging to my bag, I sat inside the tiny cabin and pulled my legs to my chest. It would all be over soon, barring any interference from the men chasing us. I'd get to the consulate and take a plane back to America. Back to New York and my safe, boring life. Alone.
Jack would go on saving the world without me weighing him down.
I should’ve been happy about the decision, but watching him slumped in the seat next to me hurt more than I imagined. Why did he have to frown like that? Or avoid my eyes? It wasn’t his heart that was breaking!
Scowling, I turned and looked out the dirty window at the countryside. We buzzed down the muddy brown river past jungle and grassland. This was an adventure, no matter how I looked at it. And I didn’t hate it – even it was completely contrary to my original plans for this trip.
Well, I didn’t like being shot at, but I’d seen a side of Thailand few foreigners probably caught. A lovely wedding. Charming locals. A boat ride down the river. If Jack wasn’t mad at me, I would have enjoyed all of it.
“How long will it take us to get there?” I asked after the silence stretched on for too long.
He cleared his throat and smoothed his hands over his pants. “Eight hours at the most. We’ll probably stop for lunch in a village and continue on. I doubt they’re watching the waterways. Too many boats travel through here.”
Chewing my bottom lip, I nodded. “Jack, I’m sorry about last night. I just--”
“Don't, Mattie. I understand how you feel. I wish I knew sooner,” he said and stood up, turning toward the door.
My cheeks flushed and my eyes tingled with a new threat of tears. Keep your mouth shut, Tilda! I told myself. Too bad I don’t listen to my own advice.
“Why do you call me that?” I asked as he put his hand on the knob.
“Call you what?”
“Mattie. You always call me that. Ever since high school.”
He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I thought it’s what you liked to be called. Back then everyone called you Mattie.”
Setting my jaw, I looked up at him. Little lines pulled at the corners of his eyes, and his mouth was set into a slight frown.
“Everyone called me Fattie Mattie. I – I actually hate it.”
Jack’s blue eyes widened. “Matilda. You know that’s not what I mean. I didn’t think some bullies in high school got to you that badly.”
I didn’t think he called me Mattie to be mean, but he also couldn’t realize how painful those memories were. The hurt and ridicule that hounded me from those days – and I relived it with Steven.
“You can’t understand, Jack. You’re perfect! No one picked on you in high school. And now, well, if anyone does pick on you, you can break their neck or something!”
He fisted his hands, the frown deepening. “I’m not perfect, love. Far from it.”
You’re perfect to me. The words danced in my head, but I held them inside. I couldn’t give myself away like that.
“You know what I meant.”
“Fine. Shall I call you Matilda then?”
I flinched. “Yes.”
“Well, Matilda, I’ll be on deck,” he growled and yanked open the door.
Hugging my bag to my chest, I squeezed my eyes shut and frowned.
Stop wallowing! Do something if you’re so upset.
While there wasn’t much to do on the boat, I pulled out my phone. No bars. Typical. But I did have a few new texts from Cheryl that I’d missed. Right! I turned my phone’s sound off during our dinner before Jack’s cover was blown and forget to turn it back on. I’d been so wrapped up running for my life it hadn’t occurred to me.
I read them in order:
“Having fun? I’ll bet Jack’s showing you all the secrets of Bangkok ; )”
“You two make a cute couple. Love the pics of you guys at the palace!”
“I didn’t order a dress. Must’ve been all Jack. Don’t go breaking his heart, Tilda!”
My breath caught in my throat at the last one. I’d sent a quick thank you text, but if she didn’t order me that beautiful dress did that mean it was all Jack? And why did she warn me about breaking his heart. It should be the other way around!
I itched to text her back. Ask her what the hell she meant by it, but I couldn’t. What was I supposed to do now?
Jack didn’t say a word to me as we departed the boat for lunch. Watching him, I wanted to catch a glimpse of his signature smile, but he’d misplaced it with the rest of his mood. He hunched over his food, shoulders taut, and kept his eyes on everything but me.
Why did he care if I still had feelings for Steven? Unless – No! Don’t even entertain the possibility! What would he see in you, Tilda?
But the idea wouldn’t leave me alone.
Several hours later, the lights of Chiang Mai glimmered in the distance. We hadn’t spoken since that morning, and Jack’s silence gnawed at me. Climbing on deck, I leaned against the rail and took in the sparkling lights.
Jack stood next to me, his hands gripping the railing with tight fists.
“I guess the consulate won’t be open until tomorrow morning,” I ventured.
He nodded. “No. We’ll spend the
night at a safe house, unless they’ve already found it.”
“Another mansion?”
“Not quite, but it’ll suit our needs. You’ll be safe.”
“Jack--” I started. I needed to ask him – needed to know the truth, but he cut me off.
“We’re docking. Grab your bag, lo—I mean, Matilda.”
Great. Now he won’t even talk to me!
With my hand in his, he helped me onto the dock, but his thick fingers released me as soon as I stepped off the boat. Scanning the surrounding river and low houses, he motioned for me to follow.
My body ached for his touch. A strong arm slung around my shoulders. His protective squeeze assuring me everything would be all right. Without it, the world seemed like a much colder place, the reality of our situation sinking in.
Once we reached the street, he hailed a tuk-tuk. My stomach turned, filled with knots and butterflies as we rode toward his safe house. But that’s not what made me nervous. I had to find out the truth! I had to find out if he bought me that dress – why he cared if I still loved my ex-fiancé.
The driver came to a stop several blocks from the actually safe house, and we walked the rest of the way. The streets weren’t overwhelming like Bangkok, and for a moment I pretended we were on a regular vacation – no crazy human traffickers in tow.
The house sat tucked into between two others in a quiet neighborhood. Glancing up and down the street, Jack finally led me inside and flipped on a light.
“I don’t think we were followed. You can wash up, and I’ll grab us some food from place down the street.”
“You’re going to leave me here alone?” I asked and set my bag down.
It was bigger than the shack on the river by several rooms, although just as sparsely decorated.
“For a few minutes, yes. They’re not coming to get you, I promise.”
For a moment he hung around the door, like he wanted to say something. Then he headed off into the night. It gave me more time to work up the courage to confront him, I told myself, but it was just a way to explain my cowardice.
When I stepped out of the shower, he sat at the kitchen table with the food set on plates. My heart lightened, until he glanced past me, like most men did. Fattie Mattie didn’t register on guy’s radars. Why would I?
“You can eat. I’m going to wash up.”
“You don’t want me to wait?” I asked.
“It’s not necessary,” he said and shut the bathroom door.
Although my stomach growled, I didn’t feel like eating anymore.
I still sat at the table when he finally emerged from the bathroom, a towel slung low around his slender hips. Drops of water clung to his golden skin, and his damp hair pressed flat to his head. He raised an eyebrow, his blue eyes trailing over the uneaten food.
“I said you didn’t have to--”
I cut him off. “Stop, Jack. I have something to ask you, and I don’t want you interrupting. It’s hard enough as it is.”
Without a word, he walked into the kitchen and leaned against the counter, crossing his taut arms over his muscular chest. He’d retied his own bandage, sloppier than I would have.
Taking a deep breath, I looked right into his eyes. “Did you pick out that dress for me the night we went to dinner with your business associates?”
“Yes,” he said slowly. “Why?”
My stomach fluttered. “I need to know one more thing. Why do you care if I have feelings for Steven or not? He was my fiancé.”
Jack fisted his hands and his eyes blazed. “Why are you even asking, Matilda? You said you still loved him!”
“No! I didn’t. I didn’t say anything! I – I should still love him, but --”
My heart slammed in my chest. What was I doing? What if he shot me down?
“But?” he asked and took a step toward the table. Towards me.
“But I want to know why you care if I did.”
He laughed, although it held no joy. “Why do I care? Because I want you, Mattie. Dammit! Matilda. I’ve always wanted you. And you go off with men like that -- that asshole who can’t properly take care of you. Do you want the truth? I was happy when Cheryl told me he broke it off – happy the woman I loved wasn’t marrying another man!”
How did the air in the room get so thin? I fought to catch a proper breath, but my lungs wouldn’t take in the air.
“You love me?” I muttered, my eyes betraying me.
In a few great strides, Jack stood in front of me, scooping me into his powerful arms. “I’ve always loved you, Mattie. Always.”
Tears burned my cheeks, and I buried my head in his chest. The scent of his body wrapped around me, his palms pressed into my back, promising safety and acceptance. How come I couldn’t see it sooner? Why was I so blind to his flirtation and advances?
“Are you sure Cheryl didn’t put you up to this?” I asked and tilted my face up.
He smiled his typical killer smile and shook his head. “She’s been trying to open your eyes for years. I think this was the final push, love. I never thought it’d end up quite like it has, but we can deal with it. We can deal with anything.”
For the first time in my life, I believed him. I believed Jack loved me for me. That he’d wanted me for years and that we’d handle anything those men threw at us. It didn’t matter what he did – spy or wanderer – he was still the same old Jack I’d always known. The same Jack I loved.
Heat flushed between my thighs, and I stood on my toes and pressed my lips into his. Jack’s eyes widened, like my kiss surprised him. Hands gripped my back as his mouth parted and our tongues flicked out to say hello.
Tingling delight seeped through my veins, pooling in my stomach and sex. I waited my whole life for this moment – this perfect storm of emotions – to finally collide.
Teeth nipped at my bottom lip, a playful tug exciting my senses as his palms loosened the towel around my breasts. I smiled, my fingers burning a trail down his smoothly defined stomach and yanking off his towel first.
Dear God, Tilda. It’s really happening.
The thick length of his cock stood at half-mast. I licked my lips slowly and grinned at him.
“Mattie,” Jack breathed as I kissed his neck and the bulging strength of his pectoral muscles.
I gripped his sides, the scorching warmth of his body seeping into my palms as I knelt before him. My lips brushed over his abdomen, and I flicked out my tongue to catch a stray droplet of water. Jack’s skin, salty sweet, excited my taste buds.
His cock would definitely do the same.
With trembling fingers, I took the length in my hand and glanced up at his gorgeous face one last time.
“Are you sure about this?” he moaned.
I hardly had the voice to say yes, so I nodded instead. Yearning throbbed across my flesh. To be that close to him – that intimate, wet my pussy further. Opening my eager mouth, I lowered it over his member. The head leaked delectable pre-come over my tongue, and I ran it around the head and shaft slowly while I took him all inside.
A low growl escaped his throat. A sound so rich with passion it set my skin alight. I could do this to Jack! Turn him on like this. Make him groan and shudder with desire. The realization was almost as delicious as his slick shaft.
I tightened my lips around it, gripping the base and relishing every guttural groan emanating from his lips. Fingers wound in my hair gently, stroking me head.
“Ah,” he cried. “If you don’t stop, I’ll come, Mattie.”
Regretfully, I pulled back and looked up at him.
Jack’s lips parted, and he grabbed my hands and lifted me to my feet. Then he set me on the counter. The tile chilled my backside, and I yelped.
“What are you doing?” I gasped as he yanked the towel from my body.
He answered me with a kiss. Lips and tongue mashing into mine with the force of a hurricane. Fingers danced across my flesh, his roughened palms stroking my arms and sides with a fever-hot touch.
Every nerve in my body pulsated with passion – rich and unforgiving. He wanted me as badly as I wanted him. Jack wanted me. Fattie Mattie.
My fingers tangled in his thick hair, my hands tickled his neck and the edge of his unshaven cheek. The scent of soap and manliness teased my nose as he pulled my hips flush with his saliva slick cock.
The head nudged my needy pussy and I wrapped my thighs around his hips, urging him inside me. I no longer had the patience to be unconfident. Lust sizzled over my skin like static electricity, strengthening my resolve.
I needed him now!
Then Jack’s velvety length filled me up. His heat beat inside me. Each urgent thrust a welcome delight. My nails dug into the taut flesh on his back, my breasts pressed flush against his chest as our mouths made up for years worth of lost kisses.
We shared everything. The same air. The same liquid pleasure – drowning us both in her erotic sea. Where my body ended his began, and they moved together in a perfect dance. We both knew the steps – we’d waited our whole lives for that moment.
“I love you, Jack. I love you,” I groaned as his fingers flitted over my glistening clit.
The delicate strokes, kisses and thundering of his tumescent member, threw me toward the edge. It wasn’t a marathon, but a catapult of passion that slung me into the air with Jack’s body gripping onto mine.
I pulled his lips between my teeth, nibbling on the delicate flesh as the trembling pleasure inside me grew to unspeakable levels. It shot up my spine and down my thighs, gathering in my fingertips and toes.
“I love you,” he growled as his load exploded inside me.
The hot slickness of it only added to my trembling gratification. Every breath soaked me with it. Bathed me in the glory of this revelation.
Jack – the man I’d lusted over for years. The man I never dreamed would want me did. He wanted me. He loved me.
Steven might as well be a toad for all I cared. My heart soared as I rubbed my cheek on Jack’s sweat slick shoulder, drinking in the moment to make it last. He rubbed his cheek against mine, kissing my temple and forehead tenderly. Turning up my chin, I met his lips and smiled.