by A. K. Evans
Nikki held up her phone and snapped a picture of me. “Guaranteed that Charley and Emme are going to agree with me. We’ll ask them. In the meantime, talk to me about Stone. How’s it going?”
A feeling of warmth spread through my body at the thought of him. “I know I told you and the girls before that I loved him, but it’s worse now. Nikki, I love him. I’m so confused, though.”
“About what?”
“Okay, so I told you on the way here about everything he planned for my birthday yesterday with going to the race track and letting me drive his Porsche. It was so heartwarming. He put so much thought and effort into the day. So last night, after we ate the dinner he made, he gave me a gift. It was a karaoke machine. He wanted me to recreate the night at Lou’s where he walked out on me. I did and then he reacted the way I had hoped for the night at Lou’s.”
“Oh, see? This is the stuff I want to hear about,” she started. “Charley just replied, by the way. She said that it’s hot and insists that you get this dress. Better start changing into your clothes. So, what happened with Stone?”
I started removing the dress as I continued the story.
“We tried a new position. Well, it was a new position for me, that is. On his couch, I was on top. We were in the throes of it when he started talking about the specific parts of my body. He told me they were all his and he wanted me to repeat that to him. I did. Then, he said that he was the only one who would have me and that I was his.”
“This sounds like what you’ve wanted, babe. I don’t understand what the problem is.”
“It is good. It’s great, actually. It’s just that earlier this week before we slept together for the first time he told me he’d never be able to give me forever. Now, with what happened last night I’m not sure I understand what he’s hoping for with me. I want to bring it up, ask him, and talk to him about it, but I’m terrified he’s going to walk away from me if I do.”
“Why?”
“Every time I look in his eyes I see it. He’s closed off, protecting himself from something. Then, sometimes when he is with me, there are brief moments of vulnerability. I’m certain that whatever the reason was he said he couldn’t give me forever is what causes that hardness. I don’t want to ruin the chance to be with him long-term if there’s a possibility he can get there, but at the same time I hate feeling so confused.”
Nikki sat on the bench taking in what I just told her. She knew I was stuck between a rock and a hard place.
“This is tough, babe. Even though I don’t know his reasons, I do understand his position. I get what it’s like to do what you’ve got to do to protect yourself from getting hurt. That said, I know you’d never hurt him. For that reason, it hurts my heart that he’s stuck in this place and can’t give the both of you what it seems like you both really want. Give him some time to get used to the idea of you, or more importantly, the two of you. If nothing else, I think he’s proven that he’s not an asshole and I believe he deserves a little bit of understanding. I mean, look on the bright side -- at least while you’re giving him that time he’s delivering mind-blowing orgasms regularly. That’s got to count for something.”
I nodded and smiled at her. “You’re right. I can tough it out for a bit and give him the time he needs to sort this out in his head.”
Nikki’s phone chimed alerting her to a text. She looked down at it and read the text, “What I would give for those legs. Monroe better get that dress! Stone was right -- our girl is fire.”
“Alright, I’m getting the dress,” I conceded. “But, if Stone loses his shit I’m holding you three accountable.”
“It’ll be fine. What’s the worst that could happen?”
“Oh, I don’t know. How would Luke react?” I asked, mostly because I wanted some details on what was happening with the two of them.
Nikki’s face twitched and her head jerked back. “What does that mean? Luke doesn’t get a say.”
As we walked out of the fitting room, I answered, “He’s into you, babe. Are you telling me there’s nothing going on between the two of you?”
“Nothing that gives him a right to say anything about what I’m wearing.”
“But there’s something?” I pressed further.
She shrugged her shoulders and joked, “Hey, a girl has got to get what she needs. If there’s a hot guy who can deliver who’s also cool with no strings attached, why not?”
“Oh, Nikki. Why didn’t you share this with us?”
“There’s nothing to share, mama. It’s purely physical.”
“Does Luke know this?”
“Of course.”
I shook my head at her. She deserved more than she was giving herself. Nikki was tough on the outside and never let you see what was going on deep down, but I knew there was a part of her that wanted what Charley had with Wes and Emme had with Zane. She just wasn’t ready to acknowledge that. I didn’t want to go there with her, so I moved the conversation to a topic I knew she’d have no problem discussing.
“So, tell me then, how good is he in this purely physical relationship?”
She stopped walking, turned to me, and with a look that told me she just figured something out, she admitted, “It’s explosive. He’s the best I’ve ever had.”
Okay. I could handle this.
“I’m paying for this dress and then we’re stopping to get you a drink.”
She nodded her head slowly.
Two hours later, Nikki and I were back home after we stopped to get her a drink. She didn’t talk about Luke, but I knew she was grateful for the silent support I offered her that afternoon.
We were now getting ready for our night out. I hadn’t known it earlier, but my girls set everything up so that Wes, Charley, Zane, and Emme would all meet Stone, Luke, Nikki and me at Lou’s. Apparently, they arranged for Luke and Stone to pick Nikki and me up at the condo to take us. Luke was going to be driving the four of us that night.
If this were going to be just a normal night out with the girls I’d have thrown on something I had in my closet, put on a bit of make-up, and made my hair presentable. This was my birthday celebration, so I figured a little bit of effort was worth it. Besides, I did plan to lure Stone out on to the dance floor and, if nothing else, that was enough to make me want to put in the extra effort.
Nikki came to the rescue and gave me good hair. Really good hair. She also did phenomenal make-up. When she finished, even I had to admit I was looking pretty freaking fantastic. I was putting a few things in my clutch when we heard the guys at the door.
“I’ve got it,” she shouted from halfway down the hall.
I grabbed the rest of my things and took one last look in the mirror. I mustered up some confidence and gave myself a quick pep talk before I walked out of the room and down the hall.
The instant I walked into the family room I could feel the heat rolling off Stone. He didn’t move; he simply stood there staring at me.
All of me.
I stared right back hoping for some indication of what he was thinking. Unfortunately, I didn’t get that because Luke, who had been standing next to Nikki, walked up and pulled me into a hug.
“Happy birthday, babe,” he said.
When he pulled away from me I replied with a quiet, “Thank you, Luke.”
My gaze shifted back to Stone, who now had his hands balled in fists and his jaw was clenching.
“Luke and I will be outside when you guys are ready,” Nikki piped up as she pulled Luke by the wrist out of the family room.
The second the door shut Stone stalked over to me.
“What are you doing to me, Monroe?” he muttered.
I slowly closed my eyes for a moment. When I opened them, I looked back to him and whispered my confession, “I want you to dance with me.”
“And you thought you’d accomplish that by not wearing a bra?”
“Okay,” I said as I swallowed hard. “I really, really want you to dance with me.”
�
�Baby…” he trailed off. “Already told you I don’t dance. Even if I wanted to dance with you I wouldn’t be able to, seein’ as how I’m going to have to spend most of the night making sure nobody else is looking at you. You’re fire, angel.”
“I’m only looking at you, though.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t change the fact that I wanted to knock Luke out when he came over and hugged you.”
My eyes rounded.
“He got a free pass because I know he’s seriously into your girl. Anyone at Lou’s that’s looking at you is fair game.”
“So, you like my dress?”
“I like you. With or without the dress. And, just sayin’, it seems like you’re making things easier for tonight when I take this dress off you.”
“Wall sex, right?” I reaffirmed as I felt my body get hot at the idea.
Stone bent his head to mine, captured my mouth, and kissed me good.
“Fuck. We need to get outside now before you miss your birthday dinner and fun at Lou’s tonight.”
With that, Stone ushered me out of the condo and out to Luke’s Tahoe.
By the time we arrived at Lou’s, Charley, Wes, Emme, and Zane were already seated and waiting for us. We approached the table and I removed my jacket. Everyone stood and began making their way over to me.
“I’m so happy you got the dress,” Emme said loudly as she pulled me in to a hug. “You look fantastic, mama. Happy birthday!”
Charley approached next and said, “Happy birthday, honey. You’re seriously smokin’ hot. I was going to be so disappointed if you didn’t get this one.”
Stone was standing beside me, looking at Charley and Emme, and asked, “You guys encouraged her to buy this?”
“Yeah,” they answered in unison.
Charley continued, “She’s got the perfect set of legs, a nice ass, and a great rack. This dress was made for her body. Why wouldn’t we encourage her to buy it?”
“Jesus Christ,” Stone mumbled.
Zane walked up with a grin on his face, gave me a kiss on the head, and said, “Happy birthday, darlin’.”
Wes followed and also gave me a hug and kiss before he stated, “Happy birthday, Monroe.” Then he pointed to Stone as he kept his eyes on me and admitted, “You look good, babe. Don’t worry about this guy.”
I nodded and we all took our seats.
Dinner was amazing. The food was incredible and the conversation easy, but it was the people who made it unforgettable. Earlier in the week, after I was with Stone for the first time, it was the first time since moving to Rising Sun that I was beginning to feel good again about my decision to leave home. As the week went on, that feeling grew stronger. Tonight, it was solidified. These people were good people, and one of them was someone with whom I had fallen madly in love. The only thing that could have possibly made this any better would have been hearing words from Stone that he was having a change of heart, that he thought there was a chance for forever with me. I didn’t need any guarantees, but knowing the possibility existed would have made my day.
We finished dinner and made our way up to the saloon on the second floor of Lou’s restaurant. Unfortunately, Elle wasn’t performing that night, but thankfully, there was no karaoke either. The last thing I wanted to do, even though Stone had made it up to me yesterday, was to feel even the slightest bit of pressure to get back on stage for karaoke right now. So, it was almost the perfect scenario with music, drinks, and dancing.
The guys found a place to sit and after the girls and I had two rounds of shots we were off to the dance floor. I was never a good judge of time when I was dancing, especially if I was slightly inebriated, but I knew the girls and I had been out a while. We went back to where the guys were seated for another round of drinks, except for Emme. Ever since she had to have her kidney removed when he ex-boyfriend beat her just over a year ago she’s had to watch how much alcohol she takes in. So, Emme downed some water while Charley, Nikki, and I had a third round of shots. Charley ordered a fourth round and we waited.
I was feeling good, it was my birthday celebration, and Stone was currently looking at me like he wanted to devour me. I decided to have a little fun. I settled my booty in his lap and felt his arms immediately come around me. Twisting my body at my waist so that I was facing him, I put my hands to his shoulders, leaned forward, and pressed a kiss to his lips. He took my mouth. Consumed me.
When I pulled my mouth from his I brought my lips to his ear and tried to tempt him, “Are you sure you won’t come and dance with me?”
“I’m sure, angel.”
I gave him a sad face before I decided that if he was going to torture me by not dancing with me, I was going to leave him here thinking about what was to come. So, I brought my mouth back to his ear and teased, “That’s such a shame. You see, I know we made plans to allow me to experience wall sex tonight, but I was thinking that it’d be okay to change our plans to drunk sex. I’ve heard that drunk sex can be a whole lot of fun.”
Stone’s arm tightened around my waist while I felt his hand sift through my hair. He gently pulled my head back so he could look me in the eyes. The heat in his was undeniable. With his lips brushed up against mine he shared, “Don’t need to dance to show you what drunk sex is like.”
“Maybe not,” I countered. “But I was thinking a preview of my drunk moves against your body on the dance floor where we can’t actually take our clothes off would have made it sweeter.”
His grip in my hair tightened.
“You’re such a feisty piece of work. Every time with you is always sweet, Monroe. If you still want to dance, you better get your ass up and go do it. Otherwise, if you continue to wiggle your ass in my lap and be a tease, we’re leaving.”
I narrowed my eyes at him before I ranted, “You know, you’re only fun when you’re giving me the goods or when you’re letting me drive your Porsche. I’m only letting this slide because you’re really good at what you will do to have fun.”
“Sorry to be such a downer,” he joked.
“It’s okay. I still love you,” I blurted.
The instant the words slipped from my mouth, I gasped. How did I get them back? Stone’s face changed; his body was frozen solid. He said nothing. He stared at me and I stared back. Hardness. Pain. Both in his eyes, but otherwise, nothing. Easily thirty seconds of nothing from him.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Triple fuckin’ fuck.
“Monroe!!” I heard Nikki shout.
I turned to look at her.
“Your fourth round is here, mama. Drink up!”
I grabbed the shot glass from the table in front of me and put the glass up to my lips. I tilted my head back and let the liquid burn down my throat. I noticed another glass in front of Emme that remained untouched.
I looked to her and asked, “You having that?”
She shook her head with a confused look on her face. I stood, wanted to cry at the loss of Stone’s arms around me, and reached for Emme’s glass. I threw the shot back, savored the slow burn, and announced, “Dance floor, ladies.”
They moved from the table with me and I never looked back to Stone. I knew I wasn’t prepared for whatever look was on his face, so I figured it was best to not know what that look was.
We were nearly at the dance floor when Emme grabbed my wrist and guessed, “Something happened. You alright, mama?”
I couldn’t do this. If I spoke about it, the night would be an absolute total mess. I heard the song that just began filtering through the speakers and lied, “Perfect, babe. I just need to dance.”
She gave me a slow nod, indicating that she didn’t believe me, and let me off the hook.
As the sounds of The Chainsmokers’ It Won’t Kill Ya piped through the saloon, I danced. I always felt the music when I danced, but this was different.
This song.
This moment.
This feeling.
Was this the beginning of the end for us? It had only jus
t started, but I knew after seeing that look in his eyes that what was ahead was not good. What a perfect song to mark the occasion. I didn’t know what else to do, but since I could dance and feel that’s exactly what I did. I poured my feelings into each movement. Every ounce of pain, every ounce of lost hope -- I let it show in my dancing. Before I was ready for it to be over, the song ended.
The music flowed right into the next song, so I continued to dance, but not nearly with the same ferocity. The last song, mixed with the five shots I had in my system, had taken everything out of me. I was moving still, but it wasn’t the same. If I stopped, though, I’d have to face my reality. I wasn’t ready for that.
My body swayed to the music and I closed my eyes briefly. That’s when I felt an arm wrap around my waist from behind and a hand settled low on my abdomen. I tensed immediately. I would know Stone’s touch anywhere and this was not one of Stone’s hands on my body. I turned around and stepped away.
Christian.
I gave him a small smile and thought he’d get the hint, but he wrapped his arm around me again and pulled me into him.
“Christian,” I gasped, as I put my hands to his chest and tried to push away.
“I just got here and saw you dancing to that last song. Watching that, watching you practically begging me to come on the dance floor with you, I couldn’t possibly not come out here.”
I stopped struggling against him. Why couldn’t Stone have seen me dance and joined me? Christian was compelled to slide right in and wrap and arm around me, but the man I just professed my love for, the only man I wanted, refused. As the thoughts filtered through my head I knew it wasn’t about the dancing. It was about something bigger. Something so much bigger than dancing.
“Christian, please. I appreciate the compliment, but I’m not interested.”
“Oh, but the way you were moving on the dancefloor in this dress -- tell me you aren’t looking for some fun.”
I shook my head and pushed my hands against his chest again, “I’m sorry. No, I’m not.”
Christian’s hand dropped lower and squeezed my ass before he said, “Come on, kitten. I’ll show you a good time tonight.”