“I need to get back to the questions,” she muttered, looking down at her notes to avoid looking at him.
“Sure you do,” he said with a knowing smile.
*****
Paul sat there in his office, a reflective look on his handsome face. She had left half an hour ago to get a tour of the building and he had sent her ahead with Pastor Leo while he finished some things he had to do in the office. He had seen how skittish she had been and how defensive she got at the mere mention of religion and how quick she had been to put it down.
There were several things he had yet to tell her. How much he had avoided getting into a relationship because it would mean opening up his heart and even though he had been with someone in the past, he had steered clear because of what it entailed. He was honest in his relationship with God but apart from that he kept himself aloof from all other relationships. He wondered if he was being hypocritical and sincerely hoped not because he wanted to be able to look himself in the mirror and be satisfied with what he saw there.
*****
Leah found herself smiling as the middle-aged Pastor told her enthusiastically about the outreach ministries they had going on.
“Paul has done so much for the town that we thank God the day he set up roots here,” the man said with a benign smile. They had been touring the building for the past hour and she was impressed at the opulence and the comfort and peace she felt as she walked through the different rooms. There was a school at one section for the children who had been left homeless and a daycare facility for the members of staff which Pastor Leo told her ran to about three hundred or more.
“He seems like he has done a lot since he has been here.” Leah commented.
“You have no idea,” the man said enthusiastically.
The sanctuary itself was huge with a beautiful raised dais, stained glass windows and rows and rows of velvet covered chairs. Leah found herself staring at the large sculpture depicting Jesus nailed on the cross.
“That sculpture has me in tears sometimes,” the man commented and with a start, Leah realized that he was standing right next to her.
“I see,” she murmured, not knowing what to say, not even sure that man expected her to say anything.
“Thank God that is not the hope we have to hold on to; we serve a risen Lord today.”
Leah excused herself hurriedly and went to find a bathroom. This assignment was not going to be easy.
Chapter 2
Leah stared at the wealth of information she had in front of her. The only good thing about the assignment was that she did not have to go into the newspaper; she could compile all the things at home. It had been a week since she had first started and she was supposed to go back there this morning at ten o’clock this time.
Spending all that time with him had proved very interesting in spite of how she felt about the religious part of it. She had to admit she was having a good time writing his story.
She had gotten up at a quarter past six in the morning and started to write the article. She made herself a cup of herbal tea and sat at her desk for a little bit, her mind not really on what she was doing. She had not finished sorting through her father’s stuff. She had been looking at the weeds in the garden and had started feeling bad about it.
With a sudden decision she stood and went into the room that had belonged to her father. It was very masculine and the furniture was all antiques. The bed was a big solid four poster with a matching dresser and closet in the same dark brown. His clothes were strewn all over the room in her attempt to try and sort them out and she could still smell the after shave he used. She started picking up the items of clothing and folding them.
She had just picked up dark blue dress pants and started folding it when a piece of paper fluttered out.
With a frown she picked it up and realized that it was a letter addressed to her. Sitting on the edge of the bed she started reading it.
“My dear Leah,
I do not have long to live and I know it. I have made my peace with my maker and with life and I am ready to leave. I am sorry to be leaving you but you have your life to live and although I want you to give your life over to God I will never force it on you, you have to come to the realization for yourself. My daughter, you are a beautiful woman and you deserve the very best. I want you to remember that you are worth a lot and no matter what you think, God loves you. Live your life to the fullest and allow God to work in you. I love you my darling. Yours, Dad.”
She folded the letter and sat there, the tears threatening to fall. She could just hear his deep gentle voice telling her to stop worrying so much and lighten up. She bit her lip as she remembered how he had always been able to get her to laugh when she felt as if her world was crashing down on her and how at night, she had eagerly anticipated his chocolate milk and his stories he always read to her each night.
She stood up and put the letter away in the top drawer of the dresser and with a glance at her watch she realized that she was running a bit late for her meeting with Paul Maitland.
She hurried into the bathroom, making a mental note to try and do some weeding when she got back. It was almost the end of April and they had been getting a lot of showers that had made the time a little chilly. She sifted through the clothes in the closet and chose a narrow blue skirt and a pink blouse and pulled on her spring jacket.
Mary-Ann ushered her into the office with a pleased smile. “Paul is on a call but he said to send you right in.”
She smiled, nodded and then pushed the half opened door to his office. He had his back turned towards her and he was dressed in faded blue jeans and a white dress shirt. She noticed that he did not go much for suit jackets and had told her that only when he had meetings outside the office that he got dressed up; otherwise he preferred jeans.
“Have a seat Leah,” he told her turning to face her and putting the phone back on the cradle. “You look lovely as usual,” he told her gently.
“Thank you,” She took a seat on the couch where they usually had their meetings. “What do you have planned today?” she asked him.
He hesitated a minute. “I want us to go and grab something to eat.” He told her. He was leaning back against his desk and his arms were folded over his chest.
“What?” she asked him with a frown.
“I want us to go out and get something to eat.” He repeated with a smile.
“I – we – I don’t think that’s a good idea Paul,” she told him, cursing herself for her uncertainty.
“I need to eat and so do you.” He said firmly, reaching over to pick up the phone. “Mary-Ann could you have James bring around the car?
Come on let’s go,” he urged her, taking her hand in his. Leah did so reluctantly and they made their way out.
The driver was outside waiting, he smiled at them and opened the passenger door to let them in. She saw him tell the driver something before coming in to sit beside her. “Where are you going?” she asked him.
“You’ll see,” he told her mysteriously as they settled back against the soft leather upholstery.
He had taken her to one or two of the outreach ministries that he had set up. She had been especially impressed by the different homes he had made contributions to and the way he was appreciated by all of them there.
They stopped at a half finished building that she had passed on her way to his office every day. It had been a residential home but had been neglected because of a lack of finances and had been slated to be destroyed. It had a huge yard with the trees and bushes hiding the broken down fence.
“What are we doing here?” she asked him as he helped her out and took a picnic basket from James.
“I will call you when I am ready,” he told the man with a smile.
“We are having a picnic.” He took her hand and led her inside the building. It was not too bad inside, except for the missing floor boards and the sad neglected look.
“Aren’t we trespassing?” she asked as he spre
ad a large blanket at what had been the fireplace.
“I don’t think so, considering I am the owner,” he told her in amusement.
“You own this place?” she asked as she took a seat on the blanket. “What are you planning to do with it?”
“Always the journalist, always curious.” He said with a smile as he opened the basket. “I have not decided yet. I was thinking of turning it into a home for myself. I am kind of getting tired of staying at the apartments at the church building.”
“It’s a lovely place and the yard space is magnificent. You can even put a stable around back for horses.” She looked at him as he handed her a large chicken sandwiches. “I remember you told me you were into horses.”
“I sure did and that was exactly what I was thinking.” He poured her a cup of coffee and added a little cream. “I crave the stability of a home because I grew up somewhere although I was treated with kindness, it was not home. So I want to know what it feels like.”
“What was it like growing up there?” she asked him curiously. Even though she was not taking notes, she still wanted to hear.
“Lonely,” he told her with a shrug, his brown lashes tinged with blonde shielding his eyes for a moment. “I often found myself longing for a mother’s hug and a father’s scolding and for bedtime stories to be read to me. I was well taken care of but they had so many to tend to that we were not given that special care we needed. I want to feel that and I want a home and a family of my own.” Leah had stopped eating. She felt a tug at her heart when he mentioned someone reading bedtime stories to him and knew that she'd had that with her dad and he had not and yet he was still thankful. “I am sorry,” she murmured; not knowing what else to say.
“Don’t be,” he told her with a little smile. “It only makes me appreciate life more and the blessings of God. What do you want Leah?” he asked her.
They had finished off the delicious sandwiches and were eating some homemade cookies with glasses of milk. Leah was already full but found that she could not resist the cookies that he said his live in cook had prepared.
“I want a career that I can be proud of.” She told him, sipping the milk to wash down the cookies.
“Is that going to make you happy?” he queried.
“Happy?” she gave a little frown as she put aside the glass. “Are people really happy? Or are they only muddling through life?”
“When did you get so cynical?” he asked her quietly.
“I am not cynical,” she protested. “I am just being realistic.”
“Realistically cynical,” he said teasingly. He reached for her hand and she looked at him, her heart picking up speed. “There is a lot more to life than a career and I hope you know that.”
He took her around the yard to show her how big the yard was and she saw tulips fighting for life among the weeds and she was reminded of what she had to do when she went back home. The house was set on a small rise and she could see gentle rolling hills for miles around, the view was spectacular.
“It’s beautiful!” she told him her eyes shining, the golden flecks highlighted by her smile. Paul felt his breath catch at her beauty; his heart drumming inside his chest.
“You are beautiful,” he murmured softly staring at her.
She went still and her gaze locked with his. They stood there staring at each other until the ringing of her cell broke the spell. “Excuse me,” she said hastily and hurried away to take the call. It was the Editor in Chief wanting to know if she could come into the office tomorrow and give her a brief draft of what she had done so far. “No problem,” she told the woman briefly.
“Ready to leave?” he asked as soon as she joined him and she nodded without saying a word. They went back to his office and she excused herself to go home. She found herself not wanting to be in the same room with him right now. She had some thinking to do.
*****
She tackled the weeds as soon as she reached home and changed out of her work clothes. She had found the necessary equipment in the storage room behind the house and set to work furiously digging, careful to touch the vegetation that were of use.
He had told her she was beautiful, what did he mean by that? She thought, digging and pulling with all her might. He was not supposed to say that to her and he was not supposed to look at her that way.
She continued digging until she felt her stomach growling and she realized she had not eaten; not since that picnic he had served her. What was he doing? She wondered, sitting back on the soft velvety grass that needed cutting. She had seen the lawnmower in the shed but she knew that was a task she had to pay someone to do, she could not handle it herself. Looking around at the heap of bush she had dug up she pulled off the rough work gloves and decided to continue tomorrow. Besides it was getting late and she had promised Mary a rough draft in the morning before she went to Paul’s office.
She made herself a meal of casserole salad and baby potatoes and ate it in the kitchen on the counter. She remembered the meals she and her father had partaken in there. Meals that had been prepared with loving hands and prayers of thanksgiving for the food provided. She remembered as a child asking her father if it wasn’t he who had provided the meal.
“I worked and physically collected the money and made the purchase my dear,” he had explained to her gently. “But the Heavenly Father gave me the strength and provided the means so we have to give him thanks.”
They had spent the rest of the evening with him telling her Bible stories. She pushed away the empty plate and stared around the room. She could still smell him and feel his presence and she found herself missing him so much that it was like a tangible force inside her.
When she had told him she had gotten an offer to work for a prestigious newspaper in the big city he had told her he was very proud of her and she should not forget to pray; but she had not done so – because she had been way too busy and she had stopped believing in a God that allowed awful things to happen in the world. Her feelings had been reinforced when he had been diagnosed with prostate cancer and although she had seen him cheerful and upbeat even when in pain, declaring that it was all a part of God’s plan, she had gotten increasingly bitter. To make it worse she blamed herself for leaving him to fend for himself because she wanted to pursue her dreams.
She got up and took her plates to the sink to wash up and spent the rest of the time typing up her report.
*****
“This is excellent stuff Leah!” Mary said enthusiastically reading the rough draft avidly. She had got there for eight thirty and had gone straight to the woman’s tiny office. She could not help but compare it to her own large cubicle at the fashion magazine she usually worked and forced herself not to let the wash of self-pity envelop her. “Do you think we should go ahead and run this now or wait for you to finish up for the month?”
“I think we should wait,” Leah told her, trying to sound enthusiastic.
“I think so too,” the woman agreed, putting the draft on her scarred desk. “So what do you have planned for today?” she asked curiously.
“He said he would let me know when I get there.”
“You seem to be getting along very well with him. What’s he like as a person?”
Leah wanted to tell her that she was not doing a dating profile but she answered politely. “I think he has a good and kind heart and genuinely wants to help people.”
“Good,” she said clapping her hands together as if she was personally responsible for him being that way. “Well dear, don’t let me keep you.”
*****
“Where are we going now?” she asked him resignedly. He had driven himself this time; the vehicle, a black Ford truck built for hilly terrains. He had told her not to take out her laptop and to leave it in his office because they were going somewhere.
“You will see,” he told her mysteriously; grinning at her boyishly. He was wearing his usual jeans but this time he had on a blue and white T-shirt and her breath caught in her throat
at how handsome he was.
He took her up a hill and Leah was glad she had chosen to wear a pair of flats and black pants with a black and white blouse. He took her hand and led her up to the very top where they could look down on the sleepy town. It was almost ten o’clock and even though the day was a little overcast, it was a beautiful day.
“Don’t tell me,” she said in amusement, not bothering to pull her hand away from his. “You own everything we are looking at.”
“Not quite,” he told her with a grin. “This is my spot. I come up here when I want to think and I always imagined that it was a hill similar to this where the devil tempted Jesus.”
She looked at him thoughtfully. “Do you always think about stuff like that?” she asked him.
“Yes,” he nodded. “But for the past week I found myself thinking about you.” The comment was said with such sincerity that she could not help but know that he was telling the truth.
“Paul,” she tried to pull her hand away but he held it firmly.
“It’s nothing to be afraid of Leah,” he told her gently. To her consternation he pulled her in and kissed her gently on the lips. Leah felt herself going weak and knew she should stop him. She was a professional and this was not allowed. He was the one who broke it off and put her gently away from him. “I brought food and a blanket for us to eat and enjoy the view.”
Leah placed a trembling hand on her lips while he went to get the things from the truck.
He did not mention anything about the kiss and told her an amusing story about his time at the home when he was sixteen. “I wanted to go to a party nearby but was forbidden to go and I waited until the ‘mothers’ as we called them had fallen asleep before I sneaked out at around midnight. I had a good time but there was liquor there and it was my first time imbibing. I ended up being sick as a dog and fell asleep on the porch because the place was locked up tight. One of the mothers’ found me there the next day curled up into a ball, shivering and sick to my stomach. I was not punished because I was told that the way I was feeling was punishment enough. I never touched the stuff again.”
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