by Sybil Bartel
“Calm down.”
His wife came out of the house and down the steps with a glass of water in her hand. “Ariella, here, this will help.”
Stunned by how pretty she was all over again and wracked with guilt, I mutely reached for the glass but Viking intercepted it.
“Give us a minute.” He issued the order at her the same way he issued all his orders at me and my stomach lurched again.
“Darling, she’s clearly not well. Let me—”
“I said now,” he barked.
Jannat hightailed it back inside and Viking held the glass to my lips. “Drink.”
Water poured down my throat before I could shove the glass away and jerk out of his grasp. “You cheating piece of shit! Don’t you ever touch me again!”
His nostrils flared, his eyes narrowed then he looked over my shoulder and his face slipped back to an impenetrable mask. “They are here.”
I spun and a black Dodge Challenger came hauling down the long dirt driveway and pulled to a stop. Before I could take a step, Viking was at the passenger door and pushing the front seat forward. I saw my son’s unruly brown curls and my hands flew to my mouth.
With my son tucked safely in his arms, Viking stepped back from the car and straightened. Conner looked up at him and smiled from ear to ear.
My memory came back.
Instant and complete, it was like a deck of cards falling on top of each other in a neat pile. Flashes of my life played in chronological order and everything added up. Viking in my apartment, Viking giving me a new phone, Viking holding Conner and speaking to him Danish, the three crates of guns, André calling me chica, Tyler telling me to back up, Jason not smiling. Viking head-butting Jason…
Everything that had happened in the garage at Luna and Associates.
All the LCs.
The shooting, being hit in the back as a bullet ricocheted off the elevator wall, Viking yelling out my name as Candle grasped my ankle and yanked, my head slamming into the metal door, and right before blacking out, seeing Viking get struck on the back of the head with the buttstock of a rifle an LC swung with all his might.
Oh my God.
I was alive.
Conner was alive.
“Mama!” Conner squirmed to get out of Viking’s arms and he set him down.
My eyes welled with tears as I knelt and held my arms out. “Come here, baby.”
Twenty-five pounds of pure heaven launched into my arms and everything I lived for slammed into me with the weight of a toddler.
“Mama, Mama, Mama!”
I sobbed. I rained kissed all over his sweet face and fucking fell apart and came together both at the same time. “I’m right here, sweet boy. Mama’s right here. I’m not going anywhere again, I promise.”
“Long time, no see, darlin’.”
I glanced up at blond hair and mischievous green eyes. Talon smiled down at me and for the first time, I saw past the player façade Viking and André’s friend projected so well to a man who was more than his laid-back surfer appearance. “Thank you.” A tear slid down my cheek.
“No, Mama, no cry!” A chubby little hand clumsily brushed at my cheek.
“They’re happy tears, baby.” I stood with Conner in my arms. “I’m just grateful Talon took such good care of you.”
Talon slung an arm around my shoulders and kissed my cheek. The faint smell of sunshine and coconuts that was all over Conner intensified. “Nothin’ doin’, darlin’, nothin’ doin’. Me and the little man, we’re tight.” He held his fist up to Conner and Conner bumped knuckles with him. “We had fun surfin’, dude, didn’t we?”
“I surf!” Conner said proudly.
I choked down emotions and smiled at my boy. “That’s amazing.”
Talon ruffled Conner’s hair. “I’ll take you anytime, little man.”
Jannat stepped up next to Viking and kindly held my purse out to me like I hadn’t heaved all over her yard. “I thought I heard a car pull up.”
Hating myself, I took my purse.
Talon’s eyes went wide as hell and his mouth dropped open. “Holy shit. Jannat?”
“Hello, Talon.” Jannat smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes.
“The last time I saw you, we were—”
“In Afghanistan, I know.” The sadness in her eyes spread across her face and she leaned into Viking. “That was many lifetimes ago.”
Talon inhaled then let it out slow. “I’m sorry ’bout your husband.”
She nodded as Viking stood stiffly at her side. “It is in the past.”
“How the hell did you and…?” Talon glanced from Jannat to Viking then burst out laughing. “Damn, Christensen, you never cease to surprise the hell outta me.” He clapped Viking on the shoulder then held his arms out to Jannat. “Come here, gorgeous. It’s been too damn long.”
Graceful and poised, she stepped into Talon’s arms and he hugged her like he hugged everyone else, with meaning.
My arms tightened around Conner and my gaze drifted to Viking. Unwavering, relentless, he stared at me like he wasn’t standing right next to his wife and a part of me died. “I’m going.” I took a step back. “Thanks, for everything,” I stammered awkwardly. “Talon, can you drop us off at a rental car place?” I didn’t care that I couldn’t afford it. I needed out of here, now.
Talon released Jannat and she smiled at me. “Please, stay the night. We have plenty of room and I’ve made dinner. You can relax and leave in the morning. And you don’t need a rental. Your Land Cruiser is parked by the garage. I had it serviced like Neil asked.” She looked up at Viking and smiled demurely, but he wasn’t paying her any attention.
His gaze still fixed on me, he didn’t say a word.
“Thanks, but I have to get going.” I couldn’t even look her in the eye. “Do you, um, have the keys?” I didn’t even question the fact that Viking had had my old car brought up here. It meant he didn’t want me staying. It meant he wasn’t driving me back. It meant a lot of things I didn’t want to think about.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jannat’s hand land on Viking’s forearm. “They’re in the kitchen. Will you get them?”
Viking’s arm muscles flexed under her touch but he turned to go.
He made it two strides before Conner squirmed in my arms and lurched. “Neil!”
Forced to put him down or drop him, I squatted but I didn’t let go of Conner’s hand. “He’ll be right back. Stay with Mama.”
“He can come.” Viking held his hand out to my son.
I let Conner go and my heart shattered at the sight of my son reaching up for Viking with both arms.
Viking scooped him up and the soft cadence of Danish drifted across the yard as he spoke to my son in his native language.
“He is a beautiful boy.”
I forced a smile and barely glanced at Jannat. “Thank you.” I turned to Talon, who was silently watching me with a look I knew all too well. “Do you have Conner’s blanket?” It’d be a long drive without it.
“In the car, darlin’. I’ll grab it.”
“I’ll come with you.” I couldn’t face even a second alone with Viking’s wife. I’d already done the worst thing I ever could’ve done to her but I didn’t want to just rudely walk away. Hating myself, I pasted on a fake smile. “Thanks for… my car.”
She smiled back but hers was genuine. “You’re most welcome. Good luck to you and your son.”
“Thanks,” I muttered, hurrying after Talon.
He opened the trunk of the Challenger and pulled Conner’s suitcase out, then reached in the back and grabbed his blanket and a new stuffed bear I hadn’t seen before. “He’s a good kid, darlin’. You’ve done a great job with him.”
“Thanks.” I tried to take the suitcase but Talon held his arm back.
“You wanna tell me what just happened?”
Panicked, I looked over my shoulder but Jannat was already walking back to the house. “Nothing. Can I have my kid’s stuff?” I reached f
or the suitcase again.
“That wasn’t nothin’. You got somethin’ goin’ with Vikin’?”
I scrambled to change the subject. “You call him Viking too?”
Half of Talon’s mouth twisted in a wry smile. “Not quite, darlin’.”
I stared, not getting it.
The smile reached across his lips. “I’ve called him that once or twice but I don’t want to get my ass kicked so I don’t make a habit of it. But you? I hear you’ve managed to do what no one’s done before. You call the great Neil Christensen by a nickname… and get away with it.”
“I don’t actually call him Viking to his face. I refer to him as that.” It was different. Sorta.
Talon threw his head back and laughed.
Shame churned my gut. “How did you know? About the nickname?” I added hastily.
He started walking toward the garage. “Somethin’ that good? Let’s just say word travels fast.”
Oh God, did all his friends know I was the other woman? “I didn’t know he was married.”
Talon stopped dead in his tracks. “He’s married to Jannat?”
I nodded. “They have kids.” Pain twisted in my chest and I ducked my head so Talon couldn’t see my face.
It didn’t matter. He was just as perceptive as Viking. His arm wrapped around my shoulder and the scent of coconuts and sunshine surrounded me. “Aw, shit. I’m sorry, darlin’.”
Too hurt to pretend with him, I leaned my head into his comfort. “I did something bad,” I whispered.
“Pretty sure Vikin’ had a hand in it too. Last I checked, it takes two to tango.”
I bit my bottom lip but a tear escaped anyway. “I didn’t know.”
“Not to offend you, but there’s probably a whole lot you don’t know ’bout him. He ever tell you ’bout Afghanistan? Or the kids?”
I recalled what André had said. “No, but André told me about the children and how you met him.”
“Did he tell you those kids were from an orphanage Jannat and her husband were running?”
Jesus. She’d run an orphanage? I shook my head.
We reached my car and Talon put the suitcase down and dragged me in front of him. “I don’t know what all went down between you two and nothin’s gonna ease a broken heart ’cept time, but I will tell you this. I’ve known Christensen the better part of a decade. If he had a wife and kids, I would’ve heard about it. He’s private as hell, we all are, but some of the situations we get ourselves in? We need to know each other’s next of kin.” He paused, holding my gaze. “And he never mentioned her.”
“Mentioned who?”
Viking’s voice cut through the night air and my back stiffened.
Talon pulled me into a hug and whispered, “Stay strong, darlin’.” He released me and reached for Conner, who was high in Viking’s arms. “C’mere, little man. Give Uncle Talon some face time before you leave.”
Viking handed Conner to Talon and Talon walked out of earshot with him.
His gray-blue gaze landed on me and for the first time ever, Viking looked tired. “We need to talk.”
“I’m done talking.” I picked up Conner’s suitcase.
“Ariella.”
Quiet and soft, my name rolled off his tongue like a cruel joke and I couldn’t take it. “Don’t you dare pretend you didn’t lie to me or that you didn’t get exactly what you wanted.” I threw Conner’s suitcase in the back. “Just like you said, no attachments.” I held my hand out. “Give me my keys.”
“I did not lie.”
“Too late.” He was full of shit. I turned and yelled over my shoulder. “Talon!”
Viking didn’t drop the keys in my hand. He set them on my palm and placed his hand on top like he had a right to touch me. “You cannot see truth through anger.” His fingers curled around mine.
Threads of awareness mingled with heart-crushing betrayal and I yanked my hand and keys away. “Fuck you,” I whisper-hissed. “You don’t get to stand there and spout your shit when you were the one who told me you don’t tolerate dishonesty. You have a wife.”
Talon walked up with Conner and looked between us. “Need another minute?”
“No,” I snapped, reaching for my son.
Conner shrunk back from me and clung to Talon. “No go.”
Viking said something in Danish and Conner immediately went to him.
Fighting tears of anger and betrayal, I tossed my purse on the passenger seat, got behind the wheel and forced myself to be civil. “Please put him in his seat.” I cranked the old engine. It instantly turned over and purred like it never had and I almost burst into tears.
Conner fussed while Viking quietly spoke to him in Danish. He buckled him in like he dealt with upset toddlers all the time. And now that I knew why he was such a natural with my son, I hated him for it. And I hated the fact that he’d had kids with a woman who was everything I wasn’t.
The second Conner was buckled in, I put the SUV in reverse.
Viking’s hand closed over my shoulder. “Let me know when you get home.”
Refusing to look at him, I shrugged him off. “No.”
“I will call you.”
“Don’t bother.” I took my foot off the brake. “Close the door.”
Viking retreated and shut Conner’s door.
I glanced back at my son, who had tears in his eyes. “Come on, sweet boy,” I said past the lump in my throat. “Let’s go home.”
THE SECOND WE WERE ON the main road, the tears broke free and I sobbed, which only made Conner burst into tears but I was too afraid to stop until we’d cleared Ocala city limits.
“I know, baby. It’s okay. Please don’t cry,” I begged Conner.
“Neil,” he wailed. “Unca Talwon.”
I didn’t want to crush his little heart any further but I didn’t know what to say. He’d been dealt a shit life because of my mistakes and the guilt heaped on. “I’m sorry, sweet boy. We’re going home and everything’s gonna be okay. I promise.”
My phone rang from the depths of my purse and I cursed myself for forgetting to turn it off. I let it ring through to voicemail but a second later it started up again. The third time it started ringing, I fished it out, intending to turn it off, but the blocked number had me paranoid.
Swiping at my tears, I tentatively answered as Conner wept in the background. “Hello?”
“Darlin’,” Talon said, short and tense. “What’s wrong with Conner?”
Relieved that it wasn’t Viking or Jason or the Feds, I breathed out. “He doesn’t like car rides.”
“He was fine with me. What’s goin’ on? You okay to drive?”
“I’m fine but I need to hang up and concentrate.” I didn’t know if Viking had put him up to the call but it didn’t matter. I wanted out of this conversation and away from anything that was going to remind me of him.
Talon sighed. “Listen up, no one knows I’m callin’, just you and me. I wanna make sure you’re okay.”
Fresh tears dripped down my face. “Fine,” I managed.
He cursed. “You want me to drive you two home?”
I cried harder. “I’m good.” I didn’t deserve his kindness.
“Damn, girl, you gotta stop with the tears or I’m gonna have Luna track your ass so I can come find you. You know that nosey prick keeps tabs on all of us. He lives for that shit.”
A short laugh escaped and I swiped at my face again. “He kinda does.”
There was dead air for a second then Talon’s voice sobered. “You remember.”
It wasn’t a question but I answered it anyway. “Yeah.”
“When?”
“Just before I left.”
“Somethin’ trigger it?”
I didn’t see any point in not telling him, Talon had been a medic in the Marines. “When I saw Viking holding Conner, it all came back.”
Talon took a deep breath then let it out slow. “Good. Damn. But good.”
I remembered what Viking had said
. “I’m not crazy.”
“Sweetheart, you’re about the least crazy person I know.”
“Viking said that I could be blocking stuff because—”
“Listen, darlin’. I know all sorts of shit has gone down and everyone deals with life differently. That said, head wounds ain’t no joke. Get yourself checked out when you get home to be sure, but you’re gonna be fine. You’re not crazy. PTSD happens and I’d be surprised if you didn’t have to deal with fallout, but you got me and Luna and Blaze and Layna when they get back from their honeymoon. You’re not alone. You call if you need somethin’, you hear me?”
A margin of relief sank in and I owed him more than I could ever repay. “Thank you. And thank you for taking Conner in.”
“It’s all good. That’s what friends are for, darlin’.”
Uncomfortable, I wanted to end the call. “I need to concentrate on driving now.”
“I hear ya. Take care of your little man. He’ll probably fall asleep though. He was so excited when I told him we were coming to you, he talked at me the whole drive.”
I almost smiled. Conner was definitely a talker. “That’s my son.”
“He sure is, darlin’. Take care.”
“Hey.” I swiped at my face again.
“Yeah?”
“Thanks.”
“Nothin’ doin’.” He hung up.
I glanced in the rearview mirror and sure enough, Conner had fallen asleep.
I pulled onto the highway and my cell rang again. When I saw André’s number, I answered. “Hey.”
“Christensen said you were on your way back. How’s Conner?”
My gut twisted hearing Viking’s name. “Asleep.”
“I thought you were going to stay up in Ocala for a few days.”
“With Viking and his wife and kids?” I asked bitterly. “No thanks.”
Dead silence.
“Let me guess. He didn’t tell you either?”
“Dios mios.”
“Yeah, that was pretty much my reaction too, but I’m sure that’s not why you called. What do you want?”
He ignored my question. “You okay?”
“Fine. I’ll be back at work on Monday, assuming I still have my spot at the daycare.”