by Lylah James
The words were true, and for weeks, I had been desperate to say them.
Nina looked at me silently before taking a deep breath. She smiled, and for the first time, her genuine smile was directed toward me. “I remember a time when you used to hate me.”
I smiled too. “You hated me too,” I replied drily.
Nina shook her head, looking down at Maila on her lap. “Hate is a strong word, Ayla. I didn’t hate you. Maybe the word you’re looking for is jealous.”
My eyes widened at her choice of word. “Jealous? Of me? Why?”
Nina lost her smile and shrugged. “You came and everything changed. I didn’t like it. I didn’t like how all of a sudden Alessio went from being this cold person to loving you, while I had been with him for ten years.”
Before I could say anything, she continued in the same monotone voice. “I was fifteen when I met Alessio. Fifteen when he found me in that dark alley, beaten up and bleeding. He saved me. I looked up to him. You know what happened two weeks later? He brought me to the basement, pushed me forward, and handed me a knife. I realized the man strapped to the chair in front of me was the same man who tortured me. I didn’t ask Alessio any questions. It didn’t matter. All that mattered was the man in front of me. I was fifteen when I was introduced to this life and realized this was what I needed. What I wanted.”
Her cold stare pierced mine, and I almost shivered. “I took my revenge that night. I killed him in cold blood while Alessio stood behind me. He was proud of me. For killing a man. Alessio is the devil in disguise, Ayla. He is heartless and ruthless. You have absolutely no idea. And I was his equal.”
My heart stuttered, and I looked down. My mind tried to wrap about the story she was telling me. I knew who Alessio was…but Nina, that was a whole other story.
“I still am and always will be,” she continued. I looked up to see a small smirk on her face.
“But only on the field.” Her words were left hanging as she brought her hand up and touched a finger to my chest.
“Because you have his heart. I won’t ever have that. Thing is, I don’t want it either. I don’t feel. I don’t care about anything. I like it this way. Heartless and cold. But then you came along and boom, everyone started feeling. Alessio cared. Maybe I was jealous. I was with him for so long and he never cared, but you…you came and wrapped yourself around him.”
I swallowed hard against the ball of emotion. “He cares. You are part of this family. He cares for everyone, Nina. Including you.”
Nina nodded and gave me another smile. “I know. So no, I didn’t hate you. I just didn’t understand why everything was changing so fast. But now I do. We don’t know the definition of love, Ayla. We were not bred to love and be loved. You changed that.”
“You don’t hold any hard feelings against me?” I asked quietly.
Nina chuckled. “No. You were right. Alessio and I only had sex. That’s it. We don’t have any feelings for each other. Never did.”
I didn’t say anything. My mind was still reeling from everything Nina had told me. Was I jealous that Nina had him before me? Yes, I was, but it didn’t matter anymore.
Alessio chose me.
“I’ll be your bridesmaid.” Nina’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
“You will?” I asked, my eyebrows shooting up in surprise.
She nodded, her gaze going to Maila, who was slowly waking up. Nina handed my daughter to me, and I curled her small body against my chest.
“I don’t really have a choice now, do I? You already decided we were friends,” she muttered.
Small steps. Baby steps. But we were all slowly finally coming together.
Chapter 38
Three weeks later
Alessio dragged me close to him until I was practically lying on top of him. My arms went around his waist as I buried my face into his neck. One leg was thrown over his hips as his hand burned on my thigh with its possessive hold.
I lay there, just breathing him in, listening to his heartbeat. Alessio drew random patterns on my back, and my eyes slowly closed at the calmness.
“Where do you want to go for the honeymoon?” he asked in my ear.
I moved closer into him, trying to get as close as possible. With my head over his chest, I replied quietly. “To the beach house.”
Alessio stiffened underneath me, his whole body freezing at my words. I knew he would react this way, but my decision was final.
I had to do this. I had to move on.
“No,” he snapped loudly, his fingers going impossibly tight around my hips. I winced and wiggled in his embrace.
“Alessio—” I started, but he cut me off with an angry growl.
“We aren’t going back there again,” he hissed in my ear. His tone was angry, his body tight with tension.
I knew he was trying to control himself but quickly losing it.
“But—”
He cut me off again. “I said no!”
Alessio pulled away and rolled us over until I was under his firm body. His fingers went around my wrists, pulling them over my head. “Ayla, I won’t repeat myself. We are not going back there. Ever again. Understood? It’s not even up for discussion.”
I could see the tension lines around his eyes and forehead. My heart squeezed when I saw the pain in the depth of his bluish eyes.
“Alessio,” I started again. He was already shaking his head, but I continued. “Please, let me do this. I need to do this. It’s important for me to move on. You bought the beach house for me, right?”
He didn’t answer, his jaw grinding with the effort to keep his anger in check.
“Yes,” he finally hissed.
I twisted my hands from his grip. With great reluctance, he let me go. Instead of moving away, I pulled him even closer.
My hand caressed his rough stubble as I spoke. “Well, then I want to go to my beach house. You can’t stop me. I want to do this, Alessio. I have to move on, and we can’t let what happened stop us from living. If I’m always going to cower in fear and hide behind you, how will I face my past? It hurts to think about it…our happy moments were cut short because of him. We never got a chance to enjoy it.”
I cut off as tears started to build up in eyes. My throat felt tight as I talked. “But I want to go back. I want to face it and move on, with you by my side. I know you’ll be there for me, holding me when I need you to. We have to move on, Alessio.”
My fingers danced over his cheeks as I leaned up and kissed him. “I have to fight it…my past. He’s gone, but he’s still living inside of me. Sometimes the nightmares come back. Sometimes, I fall back into the deep end. You always pull me back. But I have to fight him. This is me fighting him. I won’t let him stop me from living and enjoying my life with my husband…my family.”
Alessio’s throat moved. He looked like he wanted to speak, but his voice was stolen from him. His jaw ticked, his eyes flaring with anger and hurt.
“Please let me do this. I want to go back to the beach house. This time, it will be different. We will be happy,” I murmured against his lips.
He groaned, his forehead touching mine as he closed his eyes. I wrapped my arms around his back, holding him to me. I could almost feel his pain bleeding out to me.
Going back there…it was going to be hard for both of us.
“Angel,” he whispered so softly.
My hand caressed his back soothingly, waiting for him to agree with me. Finally, he opened his eyes, but his forehead continued to rest against mine.
His lips curled in distaste when he replied. “Fine. We will go. But I don’t want you out of my sight for even a minute. It’s going to be crazy. I will drive you insane. But for my own sanity, Ayla…for God’s sake, you can’t leave my sight.”
I knew he didn’t want to agree with me. But he didn’t have a choice. We were going to spend our honeymoon at the beach house.
“Thank you,” I replied, my heart soaring and full of love for this man. “I won’t
leave your sight. You will just have to follow me to the bathroom too.”
His lips twitched, and I fought the urge to laugh too. “You are fucking impossible, Ayla.”
“You love me,” I shot back, this time a smile curving my lips.
Alessio’s lips brushed against mine as he spoke. “So fucking much.”
Then he took my lips in a deep, breathless, and senseless kiss.
***
I woke up to find the bed empty. Alessio must have left some time ago, because his spot was already cold beside me.
After freshening up, I went to find Maila. In the end, I found her in Maddie’s bedroom.
They were both sleeping on her bed, with Maddie cuddling and holding Princess close to her chest.
Such a sweet sight. One that also made my heart ache.
Maddie would have been holding her baby too. Just like this. But now…she could only hold Maila.
Tears stung my eyes as I continued to watch them. With a heavy heart, I closed the door softly, letting them have their moment.
Next stop was Lyov’s office. I knocked at the door and heard him call me in. Walking inside, I found Isaak there too.
They both looked deep in discussion, but everything stopped when I stepped in. Smiles were sent my way as I moved closer.
“Ayla,” Lyov acknowledged me.
Smiling, I nodded his way before Isaak took me in his arms. He hugged me and then stepped back, Lyov taking his place.
It was a surprise seeing Lyov change from someone harsh and hateful to loving me as a daughter.
The last few months, he had transformed into someone totally different. He and Isaak were the perfect grandfathers. I couldn’t have asked for better grandparents to lead Maila and support her.
It further proved that even ruthless killers had a heart. I would have never thought that I would find solace and a loving family with my enemies. Yet here I was, living with them. Loved by them.
“What are you doing here?” Isaak asked.
“I wanted to ask Lyov something. I was hoping you wouldn’t mind,” I started gently, watching Lyov’s reaction.
“Of course. What is it?” he asked, taking his seat behind the desk.
I opened my mouth to reply but quickly snapped it shut again. My voice couldn’t seem to come out. I had wanted to say this for such a long time, but now that I was here, I didn’t know how to start.
My throat bobbed as I swallowed several times. Nervousness coursed through me as they waited for me to speak. Their eyes were on me, watching me intensely.
After a few seconds of silence, I tried again.
“Isaak is supposed to walk me down the aisle tomorrow,” I said softly, glancing toward Isaak for a brief moment. He smiled, his chest puffing out proudly.
There was no question that Isaak would walk me down the aisle. It was his right, something I had dreamed of. A fairy tale coming true.
But there was someone else who deserved this moment too.
He would never get this chance, but I wanted him to experience this. Something that was robbed away from him so many years ago, I wanted to return him this happiness.
My eyes went back to Lyov. “But I want you to walk me down the aisle too. Both of you.”
His mouth fell open. There was silence, only the sound of us breathing could be heard in the room.
“You want me to walk you down the aisle?” he questioned, his eyes wide in shock. “But―”
I cut him off before he could continue. “It’s something that I want and I hope you would be part of, Lyov. I might not be your real daughter. I might not be your princess, but just this once, I want to give you this moment. Both Isaak and you deserve this.”
Isaak rubbed his chest, like it was hurting him. He looked down at his feet but not before I saw the raw emotion on his face. Lyov had a very similar look.
“So, will you? Walk me down the aisle with Isaak?” I asked again.
Lyov stared at me and then shook his head. My heart dropped, and my hands grew clammy. I twisted the end of my dress, trying to calm my breathing.
“Where the hell did you come from?” he asked, his lips twitching in a small smile.
Lyov stood up, pushing his chair back. He walked around the desk and wrapped me in a hug. “It would be my honor,” he whispered.
My eyes widened, and my breath was stuck in my throat. Tears blinded my vision as I hugged him back. “Thank you,” I whispered back.
As we pulled away, I went to give Isaak a hug. “And thank you for being my father and for choosing to walk me down the aisle. It is something I will forever be grateful for.”
Isaak patted my back and cleared his throat. Both men stared at me with a small smile on their faces.
I felt mine widen, and then I giggled. “Alessio would be laughing at you all if he saw you now.”
They lost their smiles, their face turning dark and serious. “Fuck no,” Lyov muttered. “If you say anything to him…”
I snapped my mouth shut, trying to keep my laughter in.
“Go. Go. Go…” Isaak shooed me away.
My feet took me out of the door as my laughter bubbled out. I heard both of them curse when the door closed behind me.
***
“Okay, close your eyes, babe. I’m going to turn you toward the mirror,” Evaline murmured.
I could hear the smile in her voice. My own smile made its appearance. I closed my eyes, and with shaky legs, I turned to face the mirror.
“Ready?” Maddie asked.
“You guys didn’t turn me into a clown, right?” I joked.
There was laughter. I giggled and then finally opened my eyes. I blinked and then gasped.
“You look gorgeous, babe,” Maddie said. From the mirror, I saw Evaline and Nina nodding.
They really did work their magic. Perfectly, I should say.
The first thing I noticed was my hair. Maddie didn’t overdo it. It was simple yet so beautiful. My hair was still down, but instead it was designed into a messy braid but with curls.
White flowers were pinned along the length, with a simple and elegant crystal tiara on top of my head.
My gaze moved down, and I was thankful to see that Nina kept my make-up light. My eyelashes were coated with mascara, and they appeared really long. My lips were painted and glossed with a light shade of red. Even my eyeshadow was a light brown, although it appeared a little sparkly. The eyeliner looked like a deep maroon. My green eyes sparkled with the colors that were chosen.
My neck held a single diamond pendant, the chain made with white pearls. My earrings were similar.
And then my dress. When I chose it, I was nervous, scared that Alessio wouldn’t like it. But now as I stared at myself in the mirror, I knew he was going to love it.
I looked beautiful. I felt beautiful.
The wedding gown was almost sleeveless. There was only a thin lace strap that went over my shoulders. My bodice was a V-cut, and the color was a light beige. White lace covered it with beads scattered all over. The dress was tight over my chest, but it became flowy around the middle of my stomach. It flared down on either side. The end of the dress was covered with the same lace design as my bodice.
I turned to my side, watching the dress trail behind me. It was long from behind, the train dragging. The dress wasn’t exactly white. The cloth underneath was a light beige, but it had white lace covering the whole dress.
My back was half covered with the lace, while the top part was backless. The dress flared at my back too, looking very flowy.
“I absolutely love this gown. It’s simple yet so elegant and beautiful,” Evaline said, her eyes on my dress.
“Thank you,” I whispered, staring at myself in the mirror.
“Here, let me get your veil on,” Maddie said. I bent down slightly so she could pin my long veil behind my tiara. It trailed behind my back, even longer than the train of my dress. The veil was made with the same lace material, covered with beads and flower designs.
/> Lena had it designed and made for me. It was my something new from her, representing her blessings for my happy future.
Just when I was about to whisper another thank you, there was a knock at the door. Maddie went to open it. She moved to the side as Isaak and Lyov walked inside.
They both halted in their steps at the sight of me, and I felt a smile stretching my lips.
“Look at you,” Isaak said, coming forward. “You look beautiful, Ayla.”
He hugged me, and my arms went around him, hugging him back just as tight. “You remind me so much of your mother. She would be so proud of you, Ayla,” he whispered in my ear before pulling away.
My eyes stung, but I quickly blinked the tears away. As Lyov hugged me, I tried my hardest not to cry.
“Are you ready?” he asked, pulling away. I nodded and looked down at myself.
“As ready as I can be,” I muttered. “Is Alessio ready?”
They both chuckled and raised an eyebrow. “What do you think? He has been ready for hours and getting very impatient. The guys had to lock him in the room to stop him from seeing you,” Lyov explained with a laugh.
A giggle escaped at the thought. I could only imagine. Alessio was impossible. Well, that was an understatement.
“It’s time, Ayla,” Isaak said.
Taking a deep breath, I nodded. On shaky legs, I took a step forward only to be stopped with Lyov’s hand on my arm.
“We got something for you,” he said. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I stared at him, waiting.
That was when I noticed they each held a small give box in their hands. Oh.
Isaak came forward first and opened the box for me. Inside, I found a pair of teardrop crystal earrings. “These were your mother’s. They are the only thing I have of hers. I believe they should be yours now.”
I stared at the earrings with my mouth open. “This could be your something old. If you don’t have one already.”