by Sloan Storm
Just then, I looked away from the doorway and noticed the strong box on top of Marco’s dresser. Readjusting my purse strap over my shoulder, I walked towards it. I stopped in front of the box, seeing the set of keys on top of it. In the distance, I heard the sound of Marco in the kitchen.
Without thinking about it, I reached for the keys and held them in my hand. They looked every bit as old as the box itself. I ran the tip of my finger along one of them, tracing the angles and grooves of one of the keys. With my other hand, I grabbed hold of one of the locks at random and looked to see if I could figure out which key went with it.
“Hmm…” I muttered, looking back and forth between them.
Without realizing it, I quickly became absorbed and lost track of time, not to mention, my surroundings. A minute went by, maybe more.
“Dani?”
I gasped, clutching my chest and snapping my head in Marco’s direction.
“Oh! Oh my God, Marco, you scared the hell out of me.”
Expressionless, he stood there with his hands on his hips.
“What are you doing?”
I frowned, shrugging at the same time.
“N-Nothing,” I began, holding the keys up for him to see. “I was just looking at them. Really.”
Marco’s expression darkened.
“Give them to me,” he snarled, stepping in my direction.
“Okay,” I said, sensing his growing anger. “I’m sorry I-I didn't mean anything. I was just looking.”
Marco snatched the keys from my hand. Pointing towards the box, he raised his voice, “Dani, did you open it?”
I backed away from him, shaking my head.
“No, no. I swear. I was just waiting for you to come back. That’s all. I promise I didn’t look. Look, the locks are still closed.”
Marco grunted, turning away from me and walking back in the direction of the strong box. He slammed the keys down on top of them, startling me and causing me to jump. He stood there for several seconds, one hand on top of the box and the other on the dresser. I didn’t know if the next word out of my mouth would just upset him more, so I kept quiet until at last, he let out a deep exhale.
“Sorry about that, Dani,” he began, turning in place and looking at me. “I’ve been avoiding opening it and looking inside. I’m not even sure why. I need to just get it over with.”
Feeling relieved, I shook my head.
“It’s okay, I’m not upset.”
Marco nodded at me, his expression remained solemn.
“Marco, if I’d known that you would be so upset, I never would’ve gone anywhere near the strong box. You believe me don't you?”
He remained silent for a few seconds.
“I know, Dani,” he said, his tone turning soft. “You, um, you don’t have to explain yourself.”
He finished speaking and without any hesitation, snapped his fingers.
“Shit!” he exclaimed. “I completely forgot why I came in here. I was going to get us a drink to celebrate. In between, I decided I was a bit hungry. Do you want anything to eat?”
I shook my head.
“No, I’m fine and anyway I…”
DANI
Marco interrupted me.
“You know something, Dani” he said, waving his hand with a dismissive flash. “This… It’s gone on for too long. It’s time for me to just deal with it.”
Before I could respond, Marco turned around and snatched the keys from the top of the strong box. Working over the next thirty seconds or so, he managed to get one of the four locks open. Although he hadn’t said so, I started to feel like I shouldn’t be in the room once he looked inside. Without a word, I began to walk in the direction of the bedroom door.
“Marco,” I said, picking up the pace of my steps. “I’ll go wait in the living room and give you your privacy.”
Marco stopped what he was doing and turned to look at me.
“No, Dani,” he began, shaking his head. “This will only take a minute. Just have a seat on the bed. It’s fine, really, don’t worry about it.”
“Are you sure?” I replied, pointing towards the hallway. “I don’t mind.”
He nodded. “Yes, I’m sure.”
I smiled at him in return. I sat down on the mattress, just at the foot of his bed. Once I had, Marco turned his attention in the direction of the box once again. With every thirty seconds that went by, another lock opened. Marco placed each of them on top of the dresser with a thud.
While I watched him work, my cell phone started to ring. Looking down, I slid my hand inside of my purse and grabbed it. I pulled it out and noticed it was my mother calling.
I glanced towards Marco.
“Do you mind if I take this call in here?”
“No,” Marco muttered, without turning around to face me. “Go ahead.”
After the fourth ring, I answered, assuming she was calling to give me an update about my father’s condition.
“Hi, Mom.”
“Dani,” my mother blurted out, sounding like she was struggling for breath. “Where are you?”
“I-I’m on a business trip… out of the country, why? Is it Dad? Has something happened?”
She wasted no time in responding.
“Your father had a massive heart attack about two hours ago.”
I shot to my feet, gasping and covering my mouth.
“Oh my God!” I replied, feeling my own heart begin to pound at the same time. “What’s going on? Is he…”
“No,” she said, interrupting me. “He’s still alive, but he's in intensive care. At this point, there’s really no telling what could happen. It could be hours or days until he…”
My mother’s voice cracked. I heard the sound of her choking back a sob. My eyes began to water, I felt the inevitability of tears.
“Until?” I said, trying to get her to finish. “Until what? Are you saying he’s going to die?”
I noticed Marco turn around and face me.
My mother went silent on the other end of the phone.
“Mom? Did you hear me? What have the doctors said? Tell me!”
My mother let loose with a shaky exhale.
“It doesn’t look good, Dani. They don’t know how much time he has left. But the way they’ve explained it, he… his heart is giving out and that’s all there is to it.”
With those words, I felt the first rivulets of heat streak down my cheeks. I swiped at them with the back of my free hand, struggling to keep my composure. By then, Marco stood a couple of feet away from me, listening.
“How soon can you get here, Dani?” my mother asked.
I swallowed hard, drying my eyes as best I could.
“I-I don’t know. I’ll get on the first flight I can, though. I promise.”
Hearing my emotion, my mother struggled to keep her own in check.
“Okay,” she began, fighting through her difficulty. “As soon as you know when you’re getting here, tell me.”
“I will, I promise.” I replied, sniffling. “I’ll get there as soon as I can.”
Seconds later, I hung up, still clutching my cell phone in my hand. Numb at the thought of seeing my father in that state, I stared at the ground without blinking, almost as if I was in a trance. Marco stepped towards me, reaching for my upper arm.
“Hey,” he said, sliding his palm up and down my arm with soothing strokes. “You okay?”
I swallowed, his words shocking me back into a state of awareness. I looked at him for a fraction of a second and then, at last, the tears trickled. I leaned in towards him, pressing my face against his chest. The sobs came hard, and fast. Moisture flowed and after fending it off with a few feeble swipes, I gave up. Marco wrapped his arms around me, holding me close in silence while I cried.
I had no idea how long we stood there. The emotions of achieving my own goals suddenly seem to pale in comparison to the loss I’d probably face before long. Marco began to rub my head, stroking my hair with long, tender swipes. Ev
entually the surge of grief left my body and I pulled away from him, trying to collect myself once again. Sniffling, I reached for the spot on his shirt where I’d placed my head, touching it.
“I’m sorry about that. I got your shirt all wet.”
Marco shook his head and slid one hand inside the front pocket of his jeans.
“There’s nothing to apologize for, Dani,” he said, brushing at the damp spot. “It’ll dry.”
A sad smile came to my face. I let out a deep exhale and glanced in the direction of his dresser.
“Oh, the box. I-I’m sorry, I…”
“Dani,” Marco began, his tone firm. “Quit apologizing. Okay? The most important thing for you to do right now is to get home to your family.”
“You’re right. I need to,” I began, reaching up and rubbing my forehead while I tried to refocus. “I’ve got to book a flight.”
Marco shook his head.
“You won’t be able to get a direct flight to New York until tomorrow, if at all. You can use my jet. I can have it ready to go within the hour.”
“No, Marco, please…” I said, shaking my head. “I couldn’t let you do that. I’ll find another flight.”
“I’m not asking you to do it, Dani. I’m telling you I’ll have my jet ready to go for you within the hour. That’s all there is to it.”
I looked away from him, struggling to get some clarity with my thoughts. Marco edged closer to me and reached towards my chin. He placed the first two fingers of his hand underneath it and with a gentle pressure, lifted it. Our eyes met and he smiled.
“I want to do this for you. I know how strong you are, but everyone needs help sometimes. All right?”
Looking up at him, I sniffled once again, feeling the sting of redness in my eyes.
“Thank you, Marco. Thank you.”
DANI
I grew up in a small town, not far from Pittsburgh. From a very young age, I promised myself I’d do whatever it took to get out of there and never look back. After high school, I went to college, paying for it on my own. I never wanted to owe my success to anyone else and I still don’t.
The same, however, could not be said for my immediate family, including my brothers and their wives, not to mention the dozens of aunts, uncles and cousins who were born, lived and died in the same place. I was as different from them as I could be. Even so, they were my family, and family comes with obligations, often at the most inconvenient of times. The good news was that thanks to Marco, I was able to get to the hospital to see my father in less than a day.
After entering, I made my way to the intensive care unit. Just outside of it, in the waiting room, I saw faces I hadn’t seen in years. I knew all too well if I wasn’t careful, they would easily suck me into the petty drama of their lives. Ignoring them for the time being, I noticed my brothers standing in the hallway just ahead of me, talking to what looked to be a doctor.
Seconds later, I approached them. The presumed doctor took notice and stopped talking. My brothers both turned their heads in my direction. We hugged, greeting each other briefly before my brother, Scott, introduced me to the man.
“Dr. Chen, this is my sister, Dani.”
I extended my hand towards him. He took it and offered me a polite smile.
“Hello, Dani. I’m your father’s cardiologist.”
His youthful appearance surprised me. If I’d had to guess, I would’ve said he didn’t look to be more than thirty years old.
“Dani, as I was explaining to your brothers, your father is in a precarious state. If we were in a situation where the issue was just his heart and its blockages, it would be one thing. However, he’s having some fairly serious issues with his kidneys as well.”
My other brother, Michael, spoke up, interrupting him.
“His kidneys? This is the first we’ve heard about it.”
The doctor nodded.
“Yes, well, in order to get your father into the catheterizing lab, we have to make sure that his kidneys are in a functional state. They need to be able to clear the dyes that we utilize. Otherwise, there is the potential for renal failure.”
“What does that mean?” I asked.
“Well,” Dr. Chen began, crossing his arms in front of his body and holding my father’s chart in his hand. “There’s no way of getting around it. Renal failure is a life-threatening situation. At this point, we’ve got to find a way to help his kidneys do their job. Until we are able to stabilize them, trying to do anything for your father's heart is simply too risky.”
“Okay,” Scott said. “What now?”
Over the next several minutes, the doctor explained my father would have to undergo dialysis to bring down some of the toxic levels in his kidneys. Afterward, if the kidney function improved, he believed that it would be much safer to deal with his heart issues.
“Of course,” Dr. Chen began, looking at each of us individually. “Dialysis isn’t without risk as well. There’ll be consent forms to sign. Which one of you is going to be doing it?”
Before any of us could reply, the answer came from behind me.
“That would be me.”
I turned in place to see my mother standing there. After hugging her, I stepped to one side so she could join the conversation. Dr. Chen quickly recapped the situation for my mother. Not long after, he tucked my father’s chart under his arm.
“Do any of you have questions for me right now?”
We exchanged glances with one another but soon after, shook our heads in unison.
“Very well,” he said, turning and preparing to walk away. “I’ll have those consent forms readied, and one of the nurses will be back to get your signature.”
We thanked him, and after he left, my brothers went back inside of my dad’s room, leaving my mother and me alone to talk.
We hugged again.
I’d never seen my mother look so exhausted. Puffy bags drooped under her eyes. Combined with lines of redness in her eyes, it appeared she hadn’t slept for days.
“I guess I don’t have to ask how you’re doing, Mom.”
My mother shook her head.
Soon after, I watched as one corner of her mouth started to twitch. She raised her hand to her eyes. I hadn’t noticed before, but in it, she clutched a wad of tissue. Before I said a word, her face disfigured with sadness and she reached in my direction. For some reason, until that moment I either didn't realize, or didn’t want to accept the seriousness of the situation.
My mom leaned against me, sobbing. I wanted to be strong, but it took everything I had. A hard lump the size of a fist gathered in my throat. For almost a minute I stood there holding her while she cried. At last, the jostling of her shoulders began to ease and she pulled away from me.
“I think you need to go and see him, Dani,” she said, nodding and gesturing towards my father’s room.
I choked the lump in my throat down.
“Is he conscious?”
My mother shook her head. I nodded, leaning in towards her for another hug.
“Okay,” I began, glancing towards his room. “Are you coming with me?”
“No, you go ahead. I need to go out to the waiting room and give everyone an update anyway.”
Just then, my brothers reappeared, exiting my dad’s room. I passed by them, walked inside and closed the door behind me. When I turned around, I covered my mouth and froze in place at the first sight of my father. Tubes, wires, and tape crisscrossed his body. I inched closer, shaking my head at the sight.
He looked pale, fragile and… old. In a word, unrecognizable.
Standing next to him, I reached down and wrapped my fingers around his forearm. His skin was cool to the touch, almost rubbery in texture. In the background, periodic beeps, the sounds of monitoring equipment, and an IV drip served as sobering reminders of the magnitude of the moment. For several minutes I just stood there, looking down.
It seemed impossible it was him.
“Dad,” I began, letting out a deep
exhale. “I don’t know if you can hear me or not. I just want you to know that I love you.”
I paused for a few seconds and looked in the direction of a single large window in the room. Just then, I was reminded of the cycle of life when a new mother, holding her baby, passed by it in a wheelchair. Pushing it from behind with a smile on his face, a proud father. I looked down at my own and wondered what he felt like when his children were born.
Then I thought of my own life and everything I’d given up to get where was. I squeezed his forearm with a gentle curl of my fingers. Most of the time, I never gave it a second thought. But the idea of a new life beginning beyond the pane of glass and another one nearing its end in front of me made me feel the sharp sting of reality in its starkest form.
Numbness washed over me.
From behind, I heard the sound of the room to his door swing open. I looked over my shoulder to see one of the emergency room nurses enter. She walked around the side of my father’s bed.
“Hello,” I said.
She smiled at me but didn’t reply. Instead, she spent the next minute or so checking the connections of the equipment and making notes in her chart. For an instant, her aloofness seemed odd, almost insensitive. While she worked in silence, the reason dawned on me.
Each and every day when she came into work, she had to deal with people in their most frantic and desperate moments. She was human after all, just like all the other doctors and nurses. It wasn’t a job I would have ever wanted, but in the span of a few seconds I realized that part of her behavior was self-preservation.
It had to be.
DANI
“Ma’am,” the nurse began, nodding towards the entrance to the room. “You’re going to need to step out while we prep him.”
I nodded, dropping my hand away from my father’s arm.
“Yes, of course.”
I took a final look at him and turned to go. While the nurse got to work, I left and made my way to the waiting room. Entering it, I noticed everyone stop and look in my direction. I ignored their stares and walked over to join my mom and brothers.