by Claire Adams
It was all I could do to act nonchalant as I took another bite of cake, trying to ignore the zing of pleasure that shot through me when our fingers brushed against each other’s.
The rest of the dinner was charged, heavy with lust and desire. By the time I paid the check, I knew exactly what was coming next.
But I didn’t have any qualms about the evening turning out this way.
I’d spent the past couple days thinking about it. Thinking about what would have happened if I had invited Ace up to my apartment the other night. Thinking about him, and about Ava, and about him with Ava. He knew that Ava existed. He had to have realized that if we started dating, he was going to have to get involved in Ava’s life; she was my whole world.
And he had to have decided that he was okay with that. He wasn’t stupid, after all. We were both adults, and he knew what he was getting himself into. If he was okay with the idea that I had a kid, then I had to trust he was okay with it. Maybe things had changed since Kuwait. Maybe he had gotten a few years older and realized that he really did want to settle down and have the whole family life.
After all, he had told me in Kuwait that he planned on staying in the military for the rest of his life, yet here he was, no longer on active duty. I had to think that that meant something. Maybe he really had changed.
I liked the idea of it, of us, starting something together. I wanted to take things slowly, but I liked the idea.
And even though I wanted to take things slowly, in some rational part of my mind, even though I knew I should be upfront with him about Ava before we went any further with this, my body was overruling my mind. I hadn’t had sex since the last time he and I had had sex, and I craved this with every fiber of my being.
It seemed like Ace was pretty interested in me as well, and that only stoked the flames of my lust even higher. There was definitely something sexy about being desired by someone as sexy as Ace.
While I paid the check, Ace crowded up close behind me, his hands on my hips as he pressed against my ass, under the pretense of looking over my shoulder as I signed the bill. I wiggled a little, pressing back against him, imagining that I could already feel how hard he was through his slacks. It was going to be a long ride back his place, even if it should take less than ten minutes.
I had the stupid desire to touch him right there in his truck, to slide my hand down his pants or maybe to get my mouth on him. But I tried to be patient. We weren’t teenagers. And this, reconnecting with him, was something special. I didn’t want to waste that first new time in his truck; I wanted to at least make it home.
We pulled up outside his place, and he groaned. “Stone’s home,” he said, indicating all the lights that were turned on in the place. “It’s not a big deal; I have my own room and everything. I just wasn’t expecting him to be here.”
“My place is totally empty,” I pointed out, feeling breathless already.
Ace raised an eyebrow at me, reaching over to squeeze my knee and watching the way I squirmed. “Your place it is,” he said, putting the key back in the ignition.
“Do you want to come in for a drink or something?” I asked Ace as we pulled up at my place. I didn’t know why I said that; it was obvious I wasn’t inviting him in for a drink, but he just grinned darkly at me.
“I’d like that,” he said.
We barely made it through the front door before his lips were on mine, his fingers hot against my skin. He practically tore my dress from my body, and where he’d once shown such care, folding his clothes and setting them neatly in a pile at the foot of the bed, now he just let the material lie haphazardly where it fell.
He pushed me back against the wall, nipping at my neck and collarbone with maddening kisses that left me whimpering for more. I got his shirt unbuttoned and pushed it back off his shoulders, running my hands over his smooth, tattooed skin. Fuck, I’d thought I was never going to get this again. But I was impatient. I needed this more than I could say. So without a second thought, I started in on his belt.
We were both down to our underwear. Ace pushed my panties off to the side and pressed his fingers inside of me. I was practically dripping with excitement, and his digits glided easily in through my opening, which clenched around him. He hissed out a breath and drew his hand back. Suddenly, he hoisted me up into his arms, carrying me backward into the living room and laying me down on the couch. He lay down with me, kissing along my body, pulling my bra off and discarding it on the floor.
He kissed each breast, blowing cool air across my nipples until they perked up sharply against my skin. I wriggled, desperate for more, desperate to be filled.
He tore open a condom and put it on quickly, clearly not wanting to take any chances this time. I almost laughed, but I managed to swallow back the sound.
He plunged into me, filling me to the brim and more. I gasped for air, already moving my hips against his, rocking hard and fast. He caught my hips, slowing me down, soothing me into a gentler rhythm that really let me feel every slow drag of his head inside of me. I mewled, my breath catching on every exhale, feeling the air pushed out of me each time he thrust inside.
My pleasure spiked higher and higher with each movement until I felt like my whole body was prickling with desire. I came harder than I’d ever come before, pulling Ace over into a climax as well, our bodies pulsing as one. I shivered as he collapsed against me, my walls still quivering around him. He stroked a soothing hand down my side, comforting me with his closeness.
He rolled away from me, clearly having forgotten that we were on the couch rather than a bed. He fell hard to the floor, still grabbing at me for balance so that I ended up falling on top of him. I burst out into helpless giggles, practically crying with how amused I was.
“Oops” was all Ace had to say, smiling over at me and pulling me close to his side.
“Oops,” I agreed, snuggling into his handsome body, running my fingers absently over his abs and pecs.
Ace caught my hand, twisting his fingers into mine. “What do you think?” he asked.
“About what?” I asked cautiously. “The sex is great.” But I didn’t think that was what he was asking.
Ace sighed, staring up at the ceiling. “Could we maybe try to date?” he asked, his voice sounding quiet and unsure. It was strange to hear the lack of his usual overconfidence. And it made me want to hold him even closer.
He cleared his throat. “I know that a lot of what we have is just crazy sexual tension,” he continued. “I can’t seem to keep my hands off you, Harper. You’re unbelievably, amazingly sexy. But there’s something more to it than just your body. You’re smart, and you’re fun to be around, and I like you. I’d like to date you.”
I blinked, surprised. It wasn’t exactly an unpleasant idea, dating him. And hadn’t I already been thinking that tonight seemed like a date? Nor was I complaining about the sex. Oh God, the sex. I’d needed that. More than I’d even realized.
But if we were going to actually date, things were going to get complicated. There was a reason I hadn’t dated anyone since I’d gotten pregnant with Ava. I didn’t know how to build a life with someone else when my life included a toddler as well. And with Ace, things were only going to be even more complicated.
He was the father of my child. And sooner or later, I was going to have to tell him that. I couldn’t predict what his reaction might be. What if I told him and he decided he never wanted to see me again?
But I didn’t really think he would do that. I hoped he wouldn’t anyway.
What about Ava, in all of this? I didn’t want her to start thinking of Ace as her daddy, or even as a good friend of mine, if he wasn’t going to stick around for good. I knew that was silly; I couldn’t predict the future. But I didn’t want her to really get to know Ace until I knew for sure that he wasn’t just going to disappear on her, on us, again.
Even if I’d been the one doing the disappearing last time.
I rubbed at my forehead, not sure what to say.
Ace caught my hand and kissed my palm, already getting to his feet. “Hey, it’s okay,” he said. “I’m sorry to put you on the spot. Forget that I asked.”
There was something wounded in his eyes, and he turned away from me.
“Wait,” I said, catching his wrist. “Sorry, I’m just thinking of all the things that could go wrong.” I took a deep breath. “I have a daughter,” I reminded him. “I like this. I like the sex. I like having fun with you. And if you wanted to date, I… really want that.” It was the honest truth, however much it surprised me. No matter how complicated things might become, I couldn’t deny how badly I wanted Ace.
He was different now. I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was, but it gave me hope.
I shrugged. “I want to date you,” I said simply. “We’ll just need to take it slow, because of Ava.”
Ace stared at me for a minute. Then, he gave my naked body a pointed once-over, a wicked grin on his face. “I think it’s a little late for taking things slow,” he pointed out.
I had to laugh at that. “Yeah, maybe,” I agreed. Then, I sobered. “I just mean, in other senses. I don’t want you and Ava to become best buds and then, you know…”
“I get that,” Ace said softly, his thumb stroking my cheekbone. “We’ll take things at whatever pace you want. You just have to let me know what you’re okay with.”
“Right now, I’d be okay with getting a little cozier in a proper bed,” I said slyly.
Ace chortled. “Sounds like a plan,” he said, following me into my bedroom.
16
Ace
I felt good first thing Saturday morning. That was the first thing I noticed.
I had finally come back to my place in the early hours of the morning, even though I hated leaving Harper behind. I had this stupid fear that she was going to wake up in the morning regretting everything that we’d gotten up to the previous night. But I’d forced myself not to worry about that. I could tell that Harper had thought things through before agreeing to date me. She wasn’t rushing into this.
Neither was I.
I was still uncertain about things with Ava. But I knew that Harper wanted to keep some space between her daughter and me for at least a little while anyway, which was fine. I didn’t have to decide how I felt about kids right at the moment.
I didn’t think I could possibly be as cruel to Ava as my father had been to me. I kept thinking back to that sweet little girl sleeping on the picnic blanket. I didn’t even know her, and already my heart swelled with joy just thinking about her.
That morning, I stretched, smiling, and swung my legs out of bed. Stone and I were headed out of the city for a hike. We’d be meeting up with a bunch of other former military people, all part of the support group for those who were coming home.
The truth was, I still didn’t think I needed that support group. On the one hand, it would be nice to have a few more friends. But making friends with a bunch of military guys, even though it meant that we all were guaranteed to have at least one thing in common, seemed sort of counterproductive. Weren’t we supposed to be reintegrating with society? Not much reintegration going on if we were all in our weird little clique.
But beyond that, I just felt like there was no reason why I needed to try so hard to make friends. I had my roommate, and I had Harper, and now I supposed I had George and the other guys at work. My job was going well, I was dating an amazing woman, and really, nothing could be better in my life.
I knew Stone was having a harder time readjusting, though. He’d already quit one job, because he said that he and his manager just weren’t getting along. Now, he was looking for another job, but I could tell he was getting more and more frustrated with the search. He was drinking a little more than he probably should be. I didn’t want to call him on it because that’s not why we were living together, but I did want to help him out if I could.
A hike would be good for me anyway. Get me out of the house for the day. Otherwise, I might just stay in bed all day, jacking off to thoughts of Harper. That idea was certainly tempting. Not that she hadn’t given me a couple good orgasms the night before.
The hike took a couple of hours, and I had to admit, the scenery was beautiful. It was so different from hiking in Kuwait, which was such a stupid thing to think about, but I just couldn’t get over it. There were trees here, and some features to the landscape. The air smelled fresh, not dusty, and although it was warm, it wasn’t oppressively so.
We hiked for a few hours before ending up at a small lake. I was content to hike mostly by myself, listening to other people talk but not really joining in any of the conversations. But when we got to the lake, we took a break, and I decided to strike up a conversation with one of the women in the group, Sadie.
She was a female retiree who had lost a leg. But you’d never have realized it with the way she skipped and hopped along with everyone else, her service dog bounding along beside her.
Now, she gave the dog a few treats where he rested in the sunlight, his tongue lolling out.
“He’s a smart dog, isn’t he?” I commented, smiling down at him.
In response, the dog woofed loudly. I raised an incredulous eyebrow at Sadie, who just laughed. “Don’t look at me, I’m not the one who trained him to do that,” she said. “But yes, he is a smart dog.”
Again, the dog woofed. Sadie smiled fondly at him and gave him another treat. She looked up at me, squinting in the sunlight, and then patted the ground next to her. “Come on, I don’t bite, and Vixen here definitely doesn’t. He wouldn’t hurt a fly.”
“How long have you had him?” I asked curiously, sitting next to her.
“Two years this September,” Sadie said. She leaned in close. “To be honest, I don’t really need a service dog for most things. But the military seemed to think I could use the company, so who was I to say no?”
“Yeah, I think you handled that rock scramble better than any of the rest of us did,” I said, shaking my head in marvel.
Sadie laughed. “Maybe not quite that good, but I try,” she said. “I’ve always been the kind of person to look at an obstacle and try to figure out a way around it.” She shrugged. “Helps that I’m in good shape already. Otherwise losing my leg would really have been a pain, no pun intended.”
I hummed in response, tempted to ask how she’d lost her leg, but that just seemed unnecessarily invasive. I could imagine what might have happened anyway. And I was more interested in Vixen than I was in her leg, to be honest.
“You didn’t train her yourself?” I asked.
“Oh no. I’ve never had the patience for something like that,” Sadie said, shaking her head. “I mean, he did go through some training that was specific to me. Cues that I wanted him to be able to respond to. But for the most part, like I said, he’s more of a companion than anything else.” Her eyes twinkled. “Or if I get myself stuck halfway up a rock scramble like we did before, he’s been trained to bark his head off to attract help.”
“And we’ve used that one more than you’d want to know,” one of the other women said disapprovingly, dropping down on my other side. She jostled me with her elbow. “You here trying to steal my girl?”
I laughed and held up both hands innocently. “No, no, not trying to steal anyone’s girl,” I said. “I’m just interested in Vixen’s training. I’m actually a dog trainer. Used to do some of that for the SEALs. Right now, I’m working with guard dogs. They’re pretty much family pets that are trained to attack the wrong people when prompted. But the guy that I’m working with wants to start a new school that works specifically with the military and police dogs, training them.”
“Sounds interesting,” Sadie said. She shook her head. “Like I said, I don’t have the patience for that kind of thing. But if you’re curious about the kind of training Vixen went through, I can hook you up with the guys who trained her.”
“That’d be awesome,” I said. “I’d love to learn some new tips. Like how to get a dog to
respond that he’s the smartest.”
We chatted for a little while longer until everyone was ready to head back to the cars. Sadie and I swapped numbers so that she could put me in contact with the training school that had worked with Vixen.
It was a surprisingly good day. There were two things that really stuck with me from the day, though. The first was that when Danielle asked if I was trying to steal her girl, my immediate thought was that I wasn’t trying to get with Sadie because I already had a girl. Already, I was thinking of Harper, automatically, as my girlfriend. And I liked that feeling.
The second was that as soon as I got home, I wanted to call Harper and tell her all about my day. It was silly since I’d just seen her the previous night, but I felt almost like I missed her. As though she wasn’t just a few blocks over.
“What’s got you in such a good mood?” Stone asked as we drove home.
I shrugged, drumming my fingertips against the edge of the steering wheel. “You remember that hot black chick?” I said.
“Oh,” Stone said, smirking at me. “You’re getting laid now; it all makes sense.”
I shrugged, not even caring about his lewd language at the moment. I was tempted to go over to Harper’s the second we got back, but I remembered what we had agreed about taking things slow. I didn’t know if Ava was back to her mom’s house yet. If so, I shouldn’t show up unannounced, even if all I wanted to do was sweep Harper off her feet and kiss her madly.
Instead, I settled for calling her. “Hey,” I said, flopping back across my bed.
“Hey,” Harper said brightly. “How’s it going?”
“Good,” I told her. “Really good, actually. I went on a good hike today with some other ex-military people. It was surprisingly fun. Might have made a few friends, even.”
“That’s great,” Harper said, but I could tell she sounded distracted.