Forever & Always (Always & Forever Book 2)

by Crossley, Lauren

  Chapter Ten

  Bethany

  It takes several seconds for my brain to process the horrific sight in front of me. I blink rapidly, praying for my exhaustion to be the one and only reason behind this hallucination. The alternative is something I can’t even comprehend…

  The alternative being that Jake is kissing someone else right in front of me.

  His hands are all over her, stroking her back and pulling on her long dark hair. She’s practically riding him and the image is enough to make me vomit.

  I don’t know whether to scream, cry, run away or hide. I have no idea how I should react or what I’m supposed to do now I’m standing here.

  It only took me half an hour after Jake had left to realise what a fool I had been. The thought of losing him forever was too much to bear and I left, apologising to Callum for the trouble I had caused him. He didn’t agree with my decision to chase after Jake but knew he had to accept it.

  I still don’t know what that means for my friendship with Callum, all I could think about was making things right with the man I love.

  Which brought me here…

  There was no answer when I tried our apartment so I thought I would come and see if he was at work. I didn’t think I’d actually find him and now I wish I hadn’t.

  “Jake?”

  I don’t even recognise my own voice, amazed I found the strength to speak.

  Jake roughly shoves the girl who is straddling him to the side, peering over at me in confusion.

  “Bethany?” He asks, as though he’s struggling to make sense of who I am.

  “My God…” I whisper, traumatised and repulsed.

  I need to get away from him, I need to put as much distance between us as I can and that’s why I take a step back. I don’t know where I’m going or who I can run to now and the truth is… I don’t care.

  I just run.

  Speeding out of the bar, I shove people aside. I’m desperate to reach the exit so I can breathe fresh air into my lungs and steady my breathing.

  I hear his voice calling out my name, begging me to wait as he tears after me. I’m surprised he can manage to put one foot in front of the other, he’s so drunk.

  Once outside, I lean against the wall of the building. Placing a hand against my chest, I close my eyes and try to make sense of what just happened. Did he do it for revenge? Was he trying to get back at me for what I did with Callum or has he been doing this all along? Have I been stupid to believe that a man like Jake could be content with someone like me?

  ‘Future Girl’ by Beau Dozier is playing, reaching my ears through the entrance. Jake soon follows, stumbling out of the bar, his eyes wide and bloodshot as he searches for me. He notices me a few seconds later and lunges towards me.

  “Bethany, please talk to me.” He begs, cupping my face with his hands.

  “Leave me alone!” I yell, shoving him away from me as I walk in the opposite direction.

  “I can’t.” He says desperately, chasing after me. “Don’t you get that by now? I can’t leave you alone. You’re my entire world and you know that.”

  “I’m your entire world?” I challenge him, whirling around to face him. “It didn’t look like that when you had your tongue down that girl’s throat!”

  “And what about you?” He retorts roughly, glowering at me in fury. “You kissed someone else too. You left me for him!”

  “I came back!” I yell, surprised when my reaches out of its own accord and slaps him.

  My blow causes pain to shoot right up my arm, forcing me to grab hold of it.

  “Shit, are you ok?” He gasps, trying to take care of me.

  His face has turned bright red but that doesn’t seem to bother him, all he’s focused on is me and my own discomfort.

  “It’s fine.” I inform him, taking a step back. “Don’t touch me.”

  “You said you came back.” He says, speaking softly. “What did you mean?”

  “Why do you think I’m here? Why do you think I followed you? I came home to put things right and to tell you that I made a horrible mistake.”

  “My God…” He groans, rubbing his forehead to ease some of the tension.

  “I went to our apartment first but you weren’t there so I came down here to look for you.” I explain, folding my arms across my chest in an attempt to keep warm and stop myself from shivering.

  “I don’t know what’s happening.” Jake mutters, struggling to steady himself. “I feel so strange. I swear to you I only had a few drinks.”

  “That’s your excuse?” I snap bitterly. “The fact that you’re wasted?”

  “And what was yours? What’s your excuse for seeing another man behind my back?”

  “He’s my friend!” I exclaim indignantly, throwing my hands in the air.

  “He isn’t anymore. You really think I’m going to let you see him again after all of this?”

  “You can’t tell me what to do, Jake.”

  “I think I just did. Now come on.”

  He grabs hold of my hand, pulling me along behind him.

  “What are you doing? Where are you taking me?” I demand, fighting against his strength to free myself.

  “Home. You’re coming home with me.”

  “I’m not going anywhere with you.” I argue, determined to defy him.

  “You said you came here to put things right.” He reminds me, coming to a standstill outside our apartment. “So let’s go and do that.”

  “That was before I saw you with her. Why the hell would I want to come back with you now?”

  “Because I thought it was you.” He reveals, hanging his head in shame.

  “What?”

  “I thought she was you.” He murmurs, refusing to meet my gaze. “I… I wanted it to be you.”

  It takes my mind a few moments to process what he just said. The repulsive image of them together is engraved on my memory, the fact that Jake convinced himself it was me somehow makes it even worse.

  “That’s sick.” I tell him, shaking my head in disbelief.

  “You think I don’t know that? I knew it was wrong while I was doing it but I couldn’t help myself. A part of me thought I had lost you forever and for one single moment… I wanted to pretend.”

  “She was all over you. You were all over her.” I seethe, tugging on my hair as though I can erase the memory from my mind.

  “I have the exact same image of you and that son of a bitch you’ve been with.” Jake reminds me, shaking me roughly.

  “I was confused.” I sob, still lost when it comes to explaining why I did what I did with Callum. “I still am and I don’t know what to do.”

  “Do what feels right.” He whispers, nuzzling against me. “Come home, Bethany. Come home and let me make things right.”

  His lips graze the outside of my ear, causing me to tremble as I battle my temptation to give into him.

  “How are you going to do that?” I ask him, needing a response so it will distract me from the arousal Jake has ignited inside of me.

  “Just trust me. Please.”

  I waver, considering all of my options. I know I can’t go back to Callum’s and I have nowhere else to go. It’s not like I have any money to get a hotel and once Jake has his mind set on something, there’s no hope of changing it.

  “I have nowhere else to stay.” I inform him, frowning in annoyance. “That’s the only reason I’ll come back with you.”

  “That’s fine.” He agrees, accepting my reasons behind my decision. “Just come home.”

  I follow him upstairs and into our apartment, taking in my surroundings as though I don’t quite recognise them.

  “I can’t believe I was here just a few hours ago.” I murmur, leaning against the kitchen surface.

  “Tell me about it.” Jake sighs, standing right opposite me as he supports his weight on the counter.

  “You seem to have sobered up pretty fast.” I comment, observing his dishevelled appearance and exhaustion.
/>   “I guess the cold air outside cleared my head.”

  “Are you sure you didn’t take anything else?” I question him, narrowing my eyes in scrutiny.

  “No, I swear to you I didn’t take any drugs or anything like that.”

  He pauses, halfway through raking his fingers through his hair.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Sarah was at the bar before you arrived. She could have spiked one of my drinks.”

  “You’re ex-girlfriend was there?”

  “Bethany, she was the one who told me where you were tonight.”

  “How on earth could she have known that?”

  “I don’t know but she showed me a picture of you at some coffee shop with him. She told me she knew you had been cheating on me and brought me to his house.”

  “She’s been following me?” I gasp, feeling terrified and exposed by the idea of being watched.

  “I guess so.”

  “We need to phone the police. She can’t do a thing like that!” I assert firmly, wondering why the hell Sarah would even show an interest in someone as ordinary as me.

  “We?” Jake prompts, raising his eyebrows at me. “Does that mean you’re prepared to give us another chance?”

  “I didn’t say that.” I reply sharply.

  “What do I have to do?” Jake pleads, closing the distance between us. “Because I’m willing to do anything so long as you forgive me.”

  “Can you turn back time?” I demand coldly. “That’s the only thing which will make any of this ok.”

  “Bethany, I was drunk. I might have been drugged for all I know and I thought that girl was you!”

  “It wasn’t me though, was it? It was a complete stranger and I don’t know how to forget that”

  “The same way I’ll have to learn to forget you falling for someone else. That whore means nothing to me but you’ve already admitted that you have feelings for that bastard you still call your ‘friend.’”

  He clenches his fists, placing both of them on either side of me so I’m caged in-between his arms with no chance of escape.

  “When is this going to stop, Jake? When can we just be happy and have a peaceful life together?”

  “That future you envision for us can start today. Bethany, it’s a choice and I’ve already made mine. I choose you.”

  “And your baby? You think I can just stand by and watch you be a father to someone else’s child?”

  “I won’t be a father if you think you won’t be able to handle it. I’ll support Marissa financially, I’ll even send checks in the post. I’ll settle for the occasional photo and keep my distance, I swear to God. I would do that for you.”

  “Jake, I can’t ask you to do that for me.”

  “You’re not asking, I’m telling you I’ll do it. The only child I want to be a father to is ours.”

  I push him away from me so I can put some proximity between us.

  “Jake, do you see a baby here? I certainly don’t and that’s because our baby is gone.”

  “I’m talking about the baby we are going to have together someday. The baby which will unite us and be half you and half of me.”

  I take a seat on the sofa, staring into space as I allow Jake’s words to wash over me.

  “I don’t think I could live without you.” I mumble, wiping away my tears. “Even if I wanted to.”

  “I know I couldn’t exist a day without you.” Jake implores me to believe him, kneeling down right in front of me as though he’s about to beg.

  “So where does that leave us?”

  “Right here.”

  He places his hand against my chest, just like he did when we were in Callum’s house. His gesture somehow solidifies our bond and I find myself placing my own hand on top of his, interlacing our fingers.

  It only takes us a few seconds before our mouths collide, stealing each other’s oxygen like we’ve been starved of it.

  “We… we shouldn’t.”

  “Yes, we should.” He insists, curling his fist around my hair and tugs it. “Let me make this right. Let me show you how much I want you.”

  He yanks down my jeans and pushes me back onto the sofa. I’m positioned in an awkward angle but I don’t care, overwhelmed and consumed by my need for this man who still loves me despite everything.

  My underwear is the next item of clothing to be torn away from my trembling body and all I can do is watch Jake in astonishment. There’s something animalistic and carnal about his need to do this. It’s as though his aim is to mark his territory and brand me as his own.

  Want to know the worst part of it? I want him to do it.

  “W-what are you doing?” I stammer, encompassed by my usual tendencies of belittling and self-doubt.

  “I want to taste you on my tongue before I fuck you.” He claims, answering my question with an extreme amount of bluntness.

  His tongue plunges all the way inside of me, forcing me to cry out in pleasure and arch my back. I curl my fingers in his hair, starting to rock my hips against him.

  My brain is telling me one thing but my heart another. I know we shouldn’t be doing this and I know that sex is not the answer to our multitude of problems and yet… I still don’t stop him.

  “More…” I urge him. “Please.”

  “Tell me you want this.” He growls possessively, digging his fingers into the soft skin of my thighs. “Beg me.”

  “Please.” I invoke him. “I’m begging you.”

  His thumb finds my clit, stroking circles around it. His touch causes my hips to surge forwards, demanding more of the indescribable sensations Jake’s caresses ignite.

  The image of him in the bar torments me once more. I see him with her and try to banish the two of them together from my mind. It turns my stomach but I can’t seem to repel it. She was in control of him, taking what she wanted and teasing him at the same time. I’ve never felt in charge like that. Mainly because I don’t have her confidence or her sex appeal.

  Until now.

  I freeze, placing a hand on Jake’s shoulder to still his movements.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Let’s swap places.” I invoke him, smiling flirtatiously.

  “A-are you sure?”

  He’s so turned on, he can barely speak. Struggling to vocalise his words as he considers my adventurous suggestion.

  “You don’t want me to?”

  “Do you even need to ask? Of course I do.”

  “So do as I ask and swap places with me.” I dare him, meeting his gaze head on.

  We reverse roles and I kneel down before him, watching his eyes burn with a smouldering intensity and desire. I moisten my lips and brush my hair over my shoulder, delighting in the deep moan which escapes Jake’s throat when I take him in my mouth.

  I go with my instincts for the first time and just do what feels natural. I relish each stroke of my tongue, especially when it heightens Jake’s arousal. I use my hand to hold onto him as I continue to draw out his pleasure, controlling every single one of his pleas for me to keep going.

  “God, yes… don’t stop. I-I need more.” He mutters, closing his eyes as his head falls back against the couch.

  “More of what?” I taunt, looking up at him with a mischievous gleam on my face.

  “You.” He replies gruffly. “Just like that… you look perfect.”

  I thought he would want to carry on like this and that’s why I’m so surprised when he leans forward, lifting me up from the floor with minimal amount of effort.

  I’m straddling his lap, just like she was in the bar. I quickly realise that the only way to destroy the mental photograph I have of her is to replace it with myself. Circling my hips, I moan passionately. Jake’s hands make their way to my waist as I press my body against his. He removes his shirt before he frees me from my own, amazed by my own boldness as I pull him closer towards me, pushing my breasts against his strong chest.

  We’re in the bedroom shortly after, collapsing onto t
he bed as our limbs tangle together. The two of us are naked as we explore each other’s bodies as if it’s the first ever time.

  I’m lying on my back when Jake enters me, uniting us both until my whole being is encircled by fulfilment. Jake pins me to the bed beneath us, using his strength to take control and dominate the vigorous rhythm of our movements. He owns my body and makes sure I damn well know it, plunging all the way inside of me as he takes what he needs so ardently.

  “Mine.” He growls, exerting the slightest pressure around my neck as he holds me in place.

  I trust him completely and this is one of the reasons why I don’t struggle. Jake would never hurt me, I’m absolutely certain of that and remain still, allowing him to dominate in such a sensual way.

  “Uh-huh.”

  It’s all I can say, surrendering myself to him and being compliant.

  “Say it.” He demands, easing some of the pressure around my throat.

  “I’m yours.” I whisper, locking my green eyes on his brown ones.

  “Again.” He commands me, our noses touching as runs his fingers through my hair.

  “I’m all yours, Jake.”

  “No matter what.” He states firmly, awaiting my reply.

  “No matter what.” I repeat breathlessly, amazed by the desperation I can hear behind his voice.

  “You’re mine and no one in this world will take you from me.” He proclaims valiantly, sounding fearless and determined.

  We climax together, holding onto one another as though our lives depend upon it. I seal myself to him one more, recalling the countless times this man has saved me, rescuing me from the storm and being my only anchor.

  We fall asleep together, wrapped in each other’s arms and my final thought before I drift off to sleep is how incredible it feels to have found my way home...

  Home to Jake.

  Chapter Eleven

  I wake up to find sunlight streaming through our bedroom window, highlighting Jake’s rugged features and masculinity which I think of as beautiful. I’m tempted to reach out and touch him but don’t want to wake him, choosing to watch him sleep for a little while longer.

  Jake got some tattoos several months ago, something which I wasn’t sure about at first. I now realise he probably got them for the underground fighting he was part of, wanting to look the part and appear indestructible.