I felt my fears evaporating.
” I’m going to leave you now,” said Ruth. “‘I'll have hot water sent up; and could you be ready to dine in three- quarters of an hour?”
I said we could; and she and Luke left us. As the door shut on them Gabriel and I looked at each other in silence.
Then Gabriel said: “What’s wrong, Catherine? You don’t like it, do you?”
” It’s so magnificent,” I began. ” I didn’t imagine …” Then I could not restrain my resentment. ” Why on earth didn’t you tell them you were getting married?”
He flushed and looked distressed, but I was determined to know the truth.
” Well, I didn’t want any fuss….”
“Fuss!” I interrupted.
“But I thought you went back to tell them.”
” So I did.”
” And you found you couldn’t … when it came to the point?”
“There might have been opposition. I didn’t want that.”
” You mean they wouldn’t have thought me worthy to marry into their family?” I knew that my eyes were flashing;
I was both angry and miserable; this was such a disappointing beginning to my life in this house. I was hurt with Gabriel, and very depressed because I was realising that the fact that my marriage had to be kept a secret until it was a fait accompli meant I was not going to live on very easy terms with my new family.
” Good heavens, no!” cried Gabriel emphatically. He caught me by the shoulders, but somewhat impatiently I freed myself. ” They’ll be delighted … once they know you. They don’t like change, though.
You know what families are. “
” No,” I retorted, ” I don’t. And they are distressed, which is natural. The idea of having me suddenly produced as a new member of the family! I can understand how they feel.”
” But you don’t understand, Catherine,” Gabriel said pleadingly.
“Then tell me,” I flashed at him.
“Explain. Why does there have to be this mystery?”
He looked very unhappy. ” But there is no mystery. It’s simply that I didn’t tell them. I didn’t want fuss and bother. I wanted to marry you as quickly as possible so that we could be together and make the most of all the time that’s left.”
When he spoke like that all my anger disappeared. Thai softness, that desire to make him happy because he was afraid of something in life (perhaps it was of death) enveloped me. It was because of this desire that I had married him. I vaguely understood then that he was afraid of something in this house, and that he wanted an ally. I was to be that ally. I knew because, although I had been in Kirkland Revels less tuan half an hour, I was catching that fear.
” Friday’s still in his basket,” I said.
” I’ll take him outside.” He opened the basket and Friday jumped out, barking his pleasure to be free. There was a knock and I turned sharply for the sound did not come from the door by which we had entered. I noticed then that there were two doors in this room.
A voice in a broad Yorkshire accent said: “Hot water, master.”
The door was shut before I had a chance to see the owner of the voice.
“That’s the old powder-closet,” said Gabriel, indicating the door. ” I use it for my ablutions. You’ll find it useful. Lock both doors before you disrobe. One of the servants might come in.”
He fastened the leash on Friday. ” You don’t want to lose yourself on your first evening, Friday,” he said. And when he had gone I went into the powder-closet and there I saw the big hip-bath, the cans of hot water, the soap and towels. A big mirror in an ornate gilded frame was fixed to the wall, and attached to this frame were two gilded candlesticks in which candles burned.
I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes appeared to be more green than usual, and I found that they quickly strayed from my reflection and were looking over my shoulder, probing the shadowy corners of the powder-room.
Old houses in twilight. Was it possible that in such places the presence of those long dead lingered?
What ridiculous thoughts for a sensible young Yorkshire woman to entertain.
I took off my costume and began to wash the stain of travel from my person. To-morrow, in daylight, I should laugh at nay fancies.
We dined that night in a pleasant room on the first floor.
Gabriel had explained that on ceremonial occasions dinner was served in the hall. That was because the hall had been used for that purpose when the house had been built. ” The refectory table down there is as old as the house itself. But we have a small and more comfortable dining-room for the family,” he added.
It was a large room by Glen House standards; the curtains were drawn when I entered and there were candles on the table. I could see that living here was going to be a somewhat formal affair.
There were six of us at dinner. This was the family. Ruth and Luke I had already met. I now encountered Gabriel’s father. Sir Matthew Rockwell, and his aunt. Miss Sarah Rockwell; they both seemed very old, being in their eighties As soon as I met Sir Matthew I began to feel happier because he was quite obviously pleased to see me. He had been very tall but stooped a little; his hair was plentiful and quite white; his face was ruddy but too much of the port wine shade to be healthy; and his blue eyes, embedded so deeply in folds of flesh that they had almost disappeared, were bright—one might say jaunty.
” Gabriel’s lucky to have such a beautiful wife,” he said. Surely this was flattery for I was not beautiful and could not seem so even to old men of eighty. He kept my hand in his and then kissed it lingeringly.
I guessed that he was not too old for gallantry; he gave the impression that he had enjoyed his life and hoped the young members of his family would follow his example.
” You must sit beside me,” he said. ” I want to look at you and hear you tell me what you think of your new family.”
So I sat beside him at the dinner table and every now and then he would lean towards me and pat my hand.
Aunt Sara was quite different although I recognised the Rockwell features and fairness. Her blue eyes were vacant and she had an air of strain as though she were desperately trying to understand what was going on about her and could not quite catch up with it all.
I imagined her to be even older than her brother.
” Sarah,” shouted Sir Matthew, ” this is my new daughter.”
Sarah nodded and gave him a smile that was sweet in its innocence. I wished I had met these older people first. Then I should have felt I was being warmly welcomed. ” What is your name?” she asked.
” Catherine,” I told her.
She nodded; and whenever I looked up, I found her eyes upon me.
Sir Matthew wanted to hear about our meeting and the suddenness of our decision to marry. I told him about Friday.
” Gipsies,” he said. ” They can be brutal to their animals. I won’t have them on my land. I must say it was a lucky day for Gabriel when he rode that way.”
Luke said: ” He was always going away … riding off … and we never knew when he was coming back.”
” Why not?” said Gabriel. ” It’s the way to take a holiday. I hate making plans. You anticipate the pleasures of getting away and it invariably disappoints. No. Go as the spirit moves you … that’s my motto.”
“And look how well it turned out!” pointed out Sir Matthew, smiling at me.
” I must show Claire my tapestry. She’d like to see it,” said Sara.
There was a brief silence. Then Ruth said quietly: ” This is Catherine, Aunt. Not Claire.”
” Of course … of course …” murmured Sara. ” Are you interested in tapestry, dear?”
” I admire it, but I don’t excel at it. I’m not very handy with my needle.”
” I should think not,” retorted Sir Matthew. ” You don’t want to strain those fine eyes of yours.” He leaned towards me, his hand caressing mine. ” My sister is a bit forgetful. She wanders at times into
the past.” He grimaced. ” No longer young … like myself alas!” They talked of the house, of the country surrounding it, of the stables which I was glad to hear were well stocked of their neighbours, friends, county hunts and life generally in Kirkland Moorside; and I felt then that they were doing their best to make me welcome, and that perhaps it was the strangeness of Gabriel which had made me doubt this in the beginning.
Ruth said that before the end of the week there would be a dinner party to celebrate our marriage, and that she would have arranged it for this evening had there been time.
” There are certain people you must meet,” she said. ” They will be most eager to meet you.”
“Whom do you propose to ask?” Gabriel put in quickly.
“Well … Simon, I suppose. After all, he’s part of the family. We shall have to ask Hagar too, but I doubt whether she’ll come. And I thought perhaps the vicar and his wife, and of course the Smiths.”
Sir Matthew nodded. Then he turned to me. ” We want you to feel at home, my dear, without delay.”
I thanked him and when the meal was over Ruth, Sara and I retired to a nearby drawing-room, leaving the men to their port. I was glad that they did not leave us long, for I felt uncomfortable with Gabriel’s sister and aunt.
Gabriel came to my side immediately and remarked that I looked tired.
” No doubt it has been a busy day,” murmured Ruth, ” We shall all understand if you retire early.”
I said good night to the members of my new family and Gabriel and I went up to our room at the top of the house.
Friday came out of his basket to greet us as we entered the room. It was clear that he, too, was finding it difficult to adjust himself to his new surroundings.
” Well,” said Gabriel, ” the worst is over. You’ve met the family.”
” Not all, apparently.”
“The rest are on the fringe. These are the ones you’ll have to live with. Before we retire I want to show you the view from the balcony.”
” Oh yes … your balcony. Where is it?”
” At the end of our corridor. Come now.”
He put his arm about me and we left the room and went to the end of the corridor where there was a door. He opened this and we stepped out on to the balcony. The moon was high in the sky and it shone its light on the scene about us. I saw the Abbey mins like a great ghost of its former self. I saw the dark river winding through the grassland and the black hump of the bridge, and beyond, away in the distance, the shadowy outline of the moor.
” It’s beautiful,” I breathed.
” When I’m away from here I dream of this view.”
” I’m not surprised.”
” Every night I come and look. I always have done since I was a child.
It was a fascination for me. ” He looked down suddenly. ” Two of my ancestors threw themselves over parapets—not this one. There are three others in the house. “
I felt a shiver run along my spine and I looked down into the dimness below.
” We’re at the top of the house,” said Gabriel. ” It was certain death to leap over on to the flagstones below. The only two suicides in our history … and both chose the same method.”
” Come along in,” I said. ” I’m tired.”
But when we entered the room I felt my fear returning Those moments on the balcony had done that, those chance words of Gabriel’s. I was certainly strung up, which was unusual for me. But all would be well to-morrow, I promised myself.
During the next two days I explored the house and the surrounding country. I was fascinated—at times enchanted, at times repelled. I enjoyed being in the house during the day-time, and I was continually losing my way in it; but when dusk fell—I am ashamed to admit—the habit of looking furtively over my shoulder when I was. alone persisted.
I had never stayed in such a large or ancient house; when one was alone the present seemed to merge into the past; it was because so much of the furniture had been in the house for centuries and one could not get away from the idea that this was exactly how it had looked hundreds of years ago, when other footsteps, other voices had been heard, other figures had made those long shadows on the walls.
It was absurd to be influenced by such fancies when the people in the house were normal enough; I had them all clearly docketed in my mind within those first days: Sir Matthew, jolly old squire fond of good food, wine and women, a typical country squire of this or any other century; Aunt Sarah, the spinster who had always lived at home, somewhat innocent, remembering the birthdays, the triumphs and failures of every member of the family, and only now that she was growing old forgetting to whom they had happened and thinking now and then that Gabriel’s new wife was her sister- in-law, Claire, long dead wife of Sir Matthew; there was Ruth who had been mistress of the house since her mother had died, and naturally enough mildly resented the intruder; there was Luke, a young man absorbed in his own affairs as most young men were. A normal family similar to those which were to be found in many households throughout the country.
I had tried to make myself pleasant and I was sure I was succeeding.
Ruth of course was the most difficult to reassure:
I did want her to know that I had no intention of ousting her from her position. Heaven knew this house was large enough, for us to live our separate lives in. Sir Matthew was master of the house and she was his daughter, who had been mistress of the place since she came of age, had continued to live here after her marriage, and naturally had remained when she became a widow. I wanted her to know that I considered she had more right to be the chat elaine of Kirkland Revels than I had.
She told me of the dinner party she was planning, and I candidly replied that she must go ahead with her plans, for I had come from a very small household and had done no housekeeping, having but a short while before my marriage been at school.
This seemed to please her and I felt happy.
During the first morning Gabriel was with his father;
I guessed there were certain business matters concerning the estate which had to be discussed, particularly as Gabriel had been away from home so long. I assured him that I was well able to take care of myself.
I planned to take Friday for a walk, for I was eager’ to explore the country and in particular to have a look at the Abbey ruins. But on my way downstairs I met Luke. He grinned at me in a friendly way and stooped to have a word with Friday. Friday was delighted to be taken notice of and there was no doubt that he took a fancy to Luke right from the first.
” I like dogs,” Luke told me.
“You have none?”
He shook his head. ” Who’d look after them when I am away? I was often away … at school, you know. Now I’m in the transistory period.
I have left school and shall shortly be going to Oxford.”
” Surely there are plenty of people to look after a dog while you’re away?”
” I don’t see it. If you have a dog it’s your dog and you can’t trust anyone else to look after it. Have you seen the house yet?” he asked.
” Not aH of it.”
” I’ll take you on a conducted tour. You ought to know it. You’ll get lost if you don’t. It’s so easy to take the wrong turning. Shall I show it to you?”
I was anxious to be friends, and I felt it was best to accept his invitation. Moreover, I was eager to see the house, so I decided the walk could wait until the tour was over.
I had no idea of the size of the house. I reckoned there must be at least a hundred rooms. Each of the four parts which made up that rectangle of stone was like a house in itself, and it certainly was easy to lose oneself.
” The story goes,” Luke told me, ” that one of our ancestors married four wives and kept them in separate houses; and for a long time none of them knew of the existence of the other three.”
” It sounds like Bluebeard.”
“Perhaps the original Bluebeard was a Rockwell. There are dark secrets in our his
tory, Catherine. You’ve no idea what a family you’ve married into!” His light eyes regarded me with amusement which was not untinged with cynicism; and I was reminded of Gabriel’s decision not to tell the family that he was going to marry me. Of course they regarded me as a fortune-hunter, for not only would Gabriel inherit this house, but also the means which would enable him to live in such a place, as well as the title which, as the only son of his baronet father, would be his when the old man died.
” I’m beginning to learn,” I told him.
I went through those rooms in a state of bewilderment there were so many, and all had the high windows, the lofty ceilings often decorated with exquisite carving, the panelled walls, the furniture of another age. I saw the great cellars, the kitchens, where I met some of the servants who also seemed to eye me with a certain suspicion; I saw the other three balconies so like that near our own room; I examined the massive stone pillars which supported them, and the faces of gargoyles which seemed to grimace at me from everywhere.
” How fond they seemed to be of these devils and grotesques,” I said.
” They were to scare off intruders,” Luke told me. ” You must admit they’re somewhat scarifying. Keep off,” they seem to be saying. The devils of Kirkland will get you if you don’t look out. “” ” Surely they sometimes wanted to welcome visitors,” I murmured lightly.
” We must have been an inhospitable crowd, sufficient unto ourselves perhaps.”
When we reached the gallery he took me round, explaining who the subjects were. There was the first Sir Luke who had built the place, a fierce-looking gentleman in armour. There was Thomas, Mark, John, several Matthews and another Luke.
” We always have biblical names,” he said. ” It’s a feature of the family. Always Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, Peter Simon, anything you can think of … even down to the Angel Gabriel. I often call him Angel, though he doesn’t like it much. I think that was going a bit too far. A nice down-to- earth Mark or John would have been so much better. Now that Sir Luke … he died young. He jumped over the balcony in the west wing.”
I stared at the young man in the picture; they were all so lifelike, those pictures, that the lips seemed to move as I watched.
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