Chronicles of a Serial Dater - Book 3: A New Adult Romantic Comedy

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by Adele Huxley


  “Did we just create a secret handshake?”

  “Holy hell, can you imagine Anette’s reaction if we did that in front of her?” I pulled the sheet up to my chest and shook my head at the thought.

  “The phrase ‘shit a brick’ comes to mind,” he replied.

  “Hey, remind me to buy the first round when we’re out next. I owe you for that last orgasm,” I said as I rolled my head around on my shoulders. “Better than a massage.”

  “You know I’ll never say no to free beer, but if it’s rounds you’re into,” he said with a smirk. “Allow me to introduce you to round two.”

  Zach pushed me back to the bed with a strong hand on my shoulder. His lips traveled down my belly, fingers roaming my skin. My need for him was immediately reignited as I squirmed under his touch. This time felt more natural, like our bodies had already been properly introduced.

  I’m definitely going to have to call in sick more often.

  The rest of the week flew by in a blur. Between all the work helping Clint retool his book, sneaking around with Zach, and writing in my blog, I couldn’t believe how quickly Saturday rolled in. Anette decided to do a double shift at the bar, I suspect because her crush Amie had just started working there as well. When I woke up Saturday morning, I laced my fingers behind my head and stared at the ceiling thinking about my life.

  The project with Clint was already rewarding in ways I hadn’t expected. At first, Lisa was reluctant to let me commit to such a serious amount of developmental editing. After what I suspect was a very convincing phone call from Mr. English and his team, her reservations were put to the side in favor of results. As long as the book was better and more marketable in the end, and that he was happy, she didn’t care how it came about.

  Working with him from a distance was much easier than face-to-face. Fewer opportunities for me to put my foot in my mouth. He was busy in California trying to organize a new TV show idea, so our conversations were mostly email and voicemail exchanges. Okay, so what if I listened to his messages more times than necessary just so I could hear his accent? That doesn’t prove anything.

  Sneaking around with Zach was far more fun than I thought it’d be. After our first afternoon on Monday, we’d managed to slip in a quickie on Wednesday and Thursday night. The sex had only gotten better the more comfortable I felt around him but that came with its own set of problems. We were becoming too familiar with each other and sometimes forgot ourselves when Anette was around. While we were watching TV one night in our apartment, I casually threw my legs over his lap, something I’d never done before. I’m not sure how long we’d been lounging like that when Anette pushed up from her spot on the floor and stared.

  “Umm, you feeling okay? You get a cramp in your calf there lady?” she had asked, nodding to my legs.

  Of course, I picked the absolute worst way to react and yanked my legs back like I’d been caught acting naughty. “No, I…”

  Zach was quick to recover, turning the whole moment into a joke. “Why you gotta be like that? You know I have a thing for toes,” he whispered, grabbing for my feet again.

  I squealed with laughter as Anette rolled her eyes. “Perving on your friends like that. Shame on you, Zachariah Richard Kesner.”

  “My middle name isn’t Richard,” he said, leaning forward to grab his drink from the table.

  “No? That’s weird. You definitely have some dick in you.”

  When she was distracted by the TV, he’d leaned close to my ear and whispered, “You need a little dick in you?”

  Smiling at the memory, I pushed the blankets away and sat at my desk. The sleepy state between waking up and my first cup of coffee was usually my most honest. I had a lot of thoughts about my one-month anniversary of jumping into the dating world again and wanted to get them out unfiltered.

  I had a quick read through my post, snickering at the nickname I’d given Zach. Mr. Magic Tongue. I thought he’d appreciate that if he ever discovered the blog, God forbid. I hit publish, checked the blog dashboard, and thought my site had been hacked. There were over thirty comments waiting to be approved and if my social stats were to be believed, one specific post had been shared over six hundred times.

  With a mixture of apprehension and excitement, I dug into the data and discovered my post about Mr. Make Me Your Bitch had been picked up by a relatively famous blogger.

  “Chronicles of a Serial Dater is an honest look at what it’s really like for women to date in the age of Tinder. Long forgotten are the days of courtship, of wooing, of waiting to learn each other’s last name before exchanging bodily fluids or discussing our deepest, darkest kinks. Yeah, okay, if you want to go on there just to get laid, more power to you. But some of us need a little priming before that engine gets purring. The writing is fantastic, the dates are hilariously scary, and if any single ladies out there need a little commiseration, you’ve found your new home.”

  I let out a little squeal of excitement. “She likes my writing. Holy shit!”

  It was incredible. My post was being shared, liked, Tweeted, tagged… you name it, a complete stranger had done it. I’d started the blog for my own mental health. There’s no way I could’ve continued going on such horrible dates if I hadn’t created a place for me to vent about my new single life. When it began to garner a little attention here and there, I figured that was the nature of publishing online. Someone somewhere was bound to find it. But for it to be shared like this was a whole new thing altogether.

  Feeling absolutely on top of the world, I bounded out into the living room hoping to find Anette, forgetting she was already at work. I had to tell someone but at the same time, didn’t want anyone to actually know. So I did the next best thing.

  I knelt down in front of Pluto, his little ears perking up as he sniffed for hidden treats. I gave him a good two-handed scratch all over as I whispered conspiratorially. “My blog is famous, Pluto. But you can’t tell anyone.” He pressed his cold nose into my hands and snuffed when he realized I wasn’t going to feed him.

  It was good Anette wasn’t home. It gave me a chance to dial back the excitement and remember I’d kept the blog a secret for a reason. After a cup of coffee and a long think, I still needed to share it with my friends but at least I’d come up with a clever way of doing it.

  I sent a quick message to Anette and Lourdes, linking to the famous blogger’s post and not directly to my blog. I trusted that I’d been careful enough with my code names. Plus, I didn’t think either of them would actually read the entire thing let alone dig even further.

  “You have to check this out. Freakin’ hilarious!”

  Zach pushed the hair from my eyes, his palm resting on my cheek for a few moments. His gaze was earnest and tender. I wrapped my arm around his neck and pulled him closer, burying my face into the crook of his shoulder. He sank into me as far as my body allowed and rested there. Almost involuntarily, my pussy tightened around him, eliciting a moan from his throat.

  “Christ, that feels amazing,” he whispered, his lips against my skin.

  “Don’t slow down, I’m close,” I breathed back.

  With a grunt, he continued with a growing pace, each thrust of his cock building the pressure deep inside my core. He swirled his hips, grinding against my clit with his own pelvis. My breathing shallowed as I drew closer to the brink. Zach pushed to his elbows and watched me as I came, his tempo increasing. Only when the crescendo of my own began to fade did he allow himself to finish. He gathered me into his arms, holding me close to his body as he tensed.

  After we took a minute to recover, he slipped from me and walked naked across the room to dispose of the condom. It was always these few minutes just after sex that were the strangest. It was almost like there were two versions of him now. There was Sexy Zach, Mr. Magic Tongue but after our session ended, he immediately flipped over to Friend Zach again. And the period in between while his dick was still a little hard and I could smell his sweat on my skin, left me vulnerable. And w
hat do I do when I’m feeling like that? Ramble to fill the silence, of course.

  I pulled my top on as he walked back into the bedroom, his cock bouncing with every step. “You aren’t at all what I thought you’d be like in bed,” I said.

  “No?” He flopped down on the side of the bed, seemingly uninterested in clothing himself and happy to lay there naked. He held his head in his hand as he watched me get dressed.

  “I don’t know what I expected since I never thought of you like that, but…” I stood to pull up my shorts and sat back down on the bed facing him. “I don’t know how to put this nicely.”

  “Oh man, that doesn’t sound good,” he laughed. “Go on, I can take it.”

  “I didn’t expect you to be so… good. No, not good,” I quickly corrected. “Caring? Thoughtful? No, that’s not any better,” I muttered, starting to get flustered at how badly I was flubbing this compliment.

  His eyebrows rose as he let me stumble over my words. “No, it’s fine. It’s difficult trying to find a nice way of saying you assumed I’d be a selfish lover. It’s cool. Take your time.”

  “That’s not it,” I protested, throwing the blanket over his waist to cover his groin. “I just…” He poked me in the side and I fell down beside him with a sigh. “You know what I mean.”

  “I do,” he conceded softly. “It’s my version of the bait and switch. Girls think a guy as smart and handsome as me can’t possibly be good in bed, I get it.”

  “What did you think I’d be like?” I asked thoughtfully. In all the time we’d been fooling around together, we hadn’t actually talked about it as friends.

  Zach shifted a little uncomfortably. “I don’t know. I mean, it’s not like I ever thought about it either. But, yeah. You’re fine.”

  “I’m fine,” I replied flatly. “Fine.”

  He laughed and sat up, resting his back against the wall. “What? What do you want me to say? I’m shocked that sweet little Talia can suck cock like a pro?”

  “I can?” I cried too loudly. “Really? I never thought I was that good at it.”

  “What you might lack in skill you more than make up for in enthusiasm,” he replied with a smirk. “And if you want to practice, I’m always available.” He pulled the blanket away to flash his package.

  I grabbed a pillow and slapped it over his lap, Zach fake grunting in the process. “What else? Rate me! How good am I in bed?”

  “Uh-oh,” he muttered, grabbing the pillow. He started toying with the corners, pulling them into hand holds before swinging it around like a backpack.

  “What the hell are you doing?” I giggled.

  “Getting my parachute ready ‘cause I’m bailing out of this conversation,” he said as he leaned over the side of the bed.

  “Come on, please?” I whined. “I would rather hear it from you than go on for the next couple years doing something wrong.”

  Zach dropped the pillow and became more serious. “You’re amazing in bed and any man who says otherwise doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about.”

  I frowned, picking at invisible dirt under my nails. “Really? Cause Kevin used to say…”

  “Kevin is a little man-child. He cheated on then dumped the best girl in the world, so I wouldn’t trust his opinion,” he spat angrily. He glanced up at me, his eyes almost golden in the light. I was surprised to see him embarrassed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

  I gave him a wet kiss on the cheek before flinging my arms over his neck. “No, that was exactly what I needed to hear right now. What Kevin did really knocked my confidence. I trust you.”

  His strong arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer, half shifting my weight onto his lap. I could feel a certain part twitch below. “Seriously? Again?”

  He gave his lower lip a long lick as he let his gaze fall to my own mouth. “All this talk about how good you are in bed has me thinking… things…”

  “You’re insatiable,” I laughed, pushing away from his grasp. “I’m gonna die of exhaustion. I’ve gone so long without sex, it must be bad for me to go on such a big binge. I already feel like I’m walking bowlegged.”

  “Only one way to find out,” he growled as he pushed me onto my back. With a smooth and sexy move, he climbed over me, straddling my hips. Within seconds, he was nipping at the tender skin on my neck and kneading a breast with one hand.

  “Really, I can’t. I might have a date tonight and if I go again, I won’t be able to later,” I said, almost convincing myself. Truth was, it didn’t take a lot of persuasion to get me into bed with him.

  But Zach’s kisses on my neck paused. He lifted his hips and stared down at me. “Tonight? You have a date tonight?”

  I frowned at his reaction. “Well, yeah. It’s no big deal. Just a Tinder guy I’ve been talking to here and there.”

  “Ah.” He slid from my body, physically deflating as he began to get dressed.

  A sense of foreboding sunk into my stomach, like I’d done something wrong but didn’t know what. “What? Zach, what is it?”

  “Nothing, it’s fine,” he replied with a weak smile.

  “We still can if you want to.”

  He snorted. “Come on, it’s not like I’m gonna pressure you or anything.”

  I touched his shoulder, leaning in with concern. “You’re still going on dates, right? Wasn’t there a girl you were seeing pretty regularly?”

  He screwed up his face and stood, hunting for a clean-ish shirt using the sniff test. “Yeah, totally. I’m going on lots of dates, actually. Not a big deal at all.”

  I just couldn’t let it go. I felt guilty for some reason and wanted to fix it. “Is it like me talking about Kevin? You don’t want to hear about when I’m going on dates and stuff?”

  “No, it’s… I don’t know.” His laugh was more of an exhale. When he finally met my eye, I knew I wasn’t going to get anywhere with this conversation. Friend Zach was firmly back in place. “It’s nothing. I hope you have a good time.”

  I rolled my eyes and stood, smoothing my clothes. “He’ll probably turn out to be a freak like all the others.”

  “You definitely deserve better than those creeps,” he breathed.

  “You’re sweet,” I replied, standing on my toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. “I’ve gotta get back and shower or Anette’s going to smell you on me.”

  It was the calm before the storm. I’d finally made peace with the heat in the apartment by moving as little as possible. Positioned in front of the fan with the TV on, I’d sunk so far into the sofa I was afraid a rescue team might have to be dispatched to pry me out. It was late and I was feeling so lazy I started an internal debate about whether I should even bother going to my room to go to bed.

  I heard muffled voices outside just before a key slipped into the lock. Pluto trotted to the door as Anette came in whispering.

  “Hey little guy. This is my dog, Pluto,” she said.

  Obviously not alone. Brought another guy home from the bar, I thought.

  “He’s adorable,” a woman cooed.

  My drowsiness disappeared as I tried to place the voice. Pretending to just be waking up with a long stretch, I yawned and sat up. “Oh, hey. Thought I heard you come in.”

  Anette’s expression sank as she shut the door. She was clearly trying to sneak in. “This is my roommate, Talia. You remember Amie?”

  You know, I didn’t share Anette’s preferences, but I totally understood her obsession with this girl. Tall, leggy, almond-shaped eyes. She carried herself with a quiet confidence that could never be mistaken for bitchy or stuck-up. I couldn’t tell if I was attracted to her or just wanted to look like her.

  She smiled warmly and stuck out her hand. “I think we met at the bar once or twice before.”

  “I think we did,” I replied. To her credit, she wasn’t at all uncomfortable in what would otherwise be an awkward situation. The way Rob had nervously twitched while waiting almost in the same spot couldn’t have been any more differe
nt.

  Anette shifted forward and put her hand on Amie’s shoulder. “My room is just down there, the one with the door closed. I’ll meet you in a minute, okay?”

  I waited until I heard the door open and click shut before gushing. “Look at you!”

  “Yup. And look at you.” I couldn’t read her expression, which was odd. Anette is practically incapable of hiding her true emotions, probably part of the reason she’s so blunt.

  “Aren’t you excited?”

  “You could drown a kitten in my panties right now,” she replied flatly.

  “Okay.” I couldn’t figure out what was happening. Shouldn’t she be bouncing off the walls? “You’ve been talking about her for months now. I just thought…”

  Every time I spoke, she cut me off, her tone getting more and more clipped. “I’m going to bed.”

  Pushing away my irritation, I leaned over the back of the sofa and grabbed her wrist as she turned. “Are you sure this is what you want to do? It might turn into a one-night-stand and your chances of…”

  She let out a single bark of laughter as she wrenched her hand away. “Oh, listen to you giving me relationship advice. That’s rich!”

  “I know I’m not exactly the poster child of mature relationships, but that doesn’t mean…” I frowned.

  Anette held a hand up and shook her head. “You know what? I’m not doing this right now. I have one of the most gorgeous women I’ve ever met waiting for me in that room and I’m not standing here wasting any more time with you.”

  “What the hell, Anette? Doing what exactly? I’m just talking to you.”

  She wheeled on me aggressively enough I flinched. “No. Nuh-uh. You don’t get to act all innocent when you’ve been fucking Zach behind my back.”

  I balked but tried to control my reaction. “Zach? What are you talking about?”

  Anette rolled her eyes so hard her head moved with them. “Seriously? So we’re gonna stick with the lie? Ok, that’s cool. Maybe I should leave a comment on your blog instead. Will I get a reply then?”

 

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