One Shade of Gray

by Monica Corwin

  I huffed, not very gracefully, and went inside to get food. After I placed my order I dug in my wallet for my debit card, only to find it missing. Recalling the morning’s coffee, I had dropped the card into my bag instead of putting it back, a habit I’d been trying to break for some time.

  My stomach rumbled loudly and I glanced out the window to the back of Gray’s head. How could the back of someone’s head be so perfect?

  I pointed outside to where he sat as I tucked my wallet back into my pocket. “Actually, I’m joining that man out there. Put it on his tab.”

  A little cheeky, but if he wanted a date, he’d get a date. I walked back out and took the empty chair next to him.

  He glanced up from the pages again and his perfect eyebrows rose in question. “Why, Miss Vale, are you following me?”

  I rolled my eyes. “No, actually I’m joining you for lunch.”

  His eyes widened and he snapped the book in his hand shut. War and Peace. Of course.

  “I was under the impression you weren’t interested in me.”

  I gave him a sickly sweet smile. “Oh I’m not, I just forgot my debit card and decided you could buy my lunch since you want a date so badly. The least I can do is sit with you after you do.”

  He chuckled softly. “Touché. I reserve the right to kiss you then, when we are finished.”

  I leaned back and crossed my arms, trying to put as much distance as possible between us. “You reserve no such thing.”

  I wouldn’t admit it to him, but he intrigued me. What would a millionaire playing theater director want with me? Relationships like that never worked out, and the less wealthy partner of such a pairing usually regreted the entire affair. Maybe he had a wife in England and a title he was running away from. I let out a long-suffering sigh and glanced out at the square. Watching tourists was one of my favorite things to do in the city.

  His voice dragged me away from the calm I was just starting to grasp. “What if I told you that by the end of this date you’ll ask me to kiss you?”

  I focused back on him and his Michelangelo face, trying to replay what he was saying. When I caught up I scowled. “I’d say you need to adjust your medication.”

  Another of his damn smiles. “Is it a wager then?”

  If he wanted to play games, I could play games with him. “What do I get if I win? Besides the pleasure of not kissing you? Which to be honest, doesn’t really seem like a prize.”

  He smiled again. I was beginning to think he enjoyed rejection a little too much. “I promise I will stop following you around.”

  Ah sweet vindication. “I knew you were following me. Why?”

  He shrugged. “Maybe if you win, I’ll tell you. Or should we save that for our next date?”

  He had my attention now, and the cocky bastard knew it. “Not doing something you shouldn’t do anyway really isn’t a win-win for me. You suck at the rewards thing.”

  His smile disappeared, thank God, and he leveled me with a serious look. Like we were about to negotiate a peace treaty between our warring countries. “What do you want then? And don’t be afraid of your imagination.”

  I leaned in and narrowed my eyes. Mocking his business-like stare. “I want you to approve the theater upgrades so we can get our drop door.” I’d been wanting one installed because I was sure the next feature I took over would need it—at least if I had anything to say about it. But the underground parts of the theater were flooded and off limits. It would take some maneuvering with the government to get it all working. My manager, one of the guys in between my level and Gray’s, had basically told me to forget about it.

  “And if I win?”

  I leaned back now, as our faces had somehow continued to inch closer and closer during the exchange. “You’ll already get a kiss. What more do you want?”

  “If we are being fair here, my prize is considerably disproportionate to yours.”

  I shrugged. “I guess that depends on how bad you want to kiss me. She says to her stalker.”

  He chuckled and shifted in his chair to smooth out his perfectly tailored trousers. “How about if I win, we go on a real date? You let me do this correctly.”

  The waitress chose the perfect moment to sit my sandwich on the table between us. He pointed to my innocent lunch. “Case in point.”

  I glared, but scooted across the concrete to get closer to my food. “Were you a lawyer in another life?”

  Something dark passed over his features like a cloud blocking out the sunlight. Gone as fast as it arrived.

  “I’m just very adamant about getting what I want. Call it a character flaw. And a sandwich during daylight hours isn’t a proper date.”

  I nibbled on the edge of the turkey poking out of the flakey crust as he watched me. With him here, I didn’t know if I could sit and eat. I wasn’t bad at putting food in my mouth, but there really wasn’t an elegant way to eat a sandwich the size of your face.

  He chuckled. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll read until you finish.” He picked up the book and slid his fingers into the gap made by his bookmark at the top. Bonus points for not bending the corners.

  I quickly chewed and swallowed. “Wait. I do have a question for you.”

  He froze and closed the book again. Instead of asking he sat patiently waiting. I didn't know how to say what I needed to say without offending him. Not that it usually stopped me but he was sort of paying me, and I needed my job to stay in Paris.

  I took a deep breath and decided to just ask. “What do you want with me?”

  I almost expected him to play the question off like a joke, or make up some excuse as to why he’d been following me. Part of me wanted him to do that, give me a normal rational explanation as to why he, of all people, would be interested in me.

  Instead of making light of my question, he shuffled his book and my plate toward the middle of the table and grabbed the edge of my chair just outside my thighs. The pressure of his thumbs against my knees was intense, and it felt almost like he’d placed his entire hand on me. I swallowed against the sparks prickling up my skin from the contact. It was too familiar. His touch was too familiar. The look he was leveling me with was too familiar. And damn him to hell I wanted more.

  He slid the chair, loudly and obnoxiously, across the pitted ground toward him until my knees sat closed on the inside of his, spread wider. He was either about to give me the best kiss of my life or scold me, and I didn’t know which I wanted more.

  “I’m only going to say this once,” his tone was hard edged like the rough concrete he’d just pulled me across. “I like you, Isobel. I want to be more than friends with you. I don’t care if I’m technically your boss and you’re technically my employee.”

  Each word made those sparks move faster until my skin felt like it was vibrating under his scrutiny. I realized if I lightened the mood now it would likely offend him.

  “Mr. Gray,” I began.

  He shook his head. “Dorian, please.”

  I stopped and stared at him. “Your name is Dorian Gray? Why didn’t I notice that before?”

  He met my eyes and I realized I had done exactly what I’d just instructed myself not to—made light of the moment between us. Anger simmered in his eyes and I pushed myself back on track. “We’ll ignore that for now, Dorian. What I want to know is why you’ve been following me. I’ve noticed for weeks. Not exactly a good way to win a date.”

  His hands tightened on the edge of the chair and it caused his thumbs to flick alongside my knee caps. I didn’t think he realized he was doing it but the movement still ignited my skin there. Who knew knees could be so sensitive?

  “I don’t want to worry you. But someone has been following you. Someone who isn’t me. I’ve been following you both to make sure you stay safe.”

  Alarm wrenched through me. I knew that someone was following me but I’d always assumed it was just him, I’d never considered it could be someone else. Then realization dawned. I was in a foreign country, awa
y from anyone I knew back at home. There was only one person who would have the balls to put a guard on me.

  I leaned back and held up a finger to stop anything else he was about to say. He sat back and froze. “What is it?”

  “May I borrow your cell phone?”

  He didn’t ask questions, something I liked in a man, and reached into the jacket hanging off of his chair. He handed me his phone, open to the dial screen. I wondered what would be in his text messages.

  I hit the number I had been forced to learn by heart and waited for it to ring. It took three rings for a click and I spoke clearly into the line. “Juliet Alpha Kilo Echo.” Then I hung up.

  Gray sat back in his chair now with his hands crossed over his flat belly. “Dare I ask?”

  Exactly ten seconds passed and the phone rang in my hand. I answered with:“Jake, I’m going to kill you.”

  “Now, is that anyway to greet your brother?”

  “My brother who is about to be ball-less. Call off your guard or I’ll come up with some scheme like I did in Budapest, and then you’ll have to explain it to your superiors.”

  His warm familiar laugh came down the line and even though I was pissed at him, I reveled in that sound. His being a Navy SEAL meant I never got to see him. I missed him, even when I wanted to throw something at his head.

  “I only did it for your protection.”

  “I can protect myself. Call him off or you will regret it.”

  Some shuffling came through the line. “I love you, Sis. Gotta go.”

  I handed the phone back to Gray. “It won’t be a problem anymore.”

  I watched as a nondescript man stood up from one of the far tables and headed in the opposite direction. “Thank you for playing. Better luck next time.” I called out.

  I let out a long sigh and sat back to focus on my date once again. “Now that you have no excuse to follow me anymore, what are you going to do now?”

  3

  Dorian

  This woman had more fire than Sibyl ever did. Over the course of my week’s surveillance I learned a lot about her. But the heat that burned from the inside out to touch others—I hadn’t gotten to witness that until this morning. I had thought it a fluke, but now, face to face with the woman I realize that no, this was all her. Fire and grace, and an unwillingness to give in. Despite the era into which I was born, I found it highly erotic.

  Some said women who knew their own minds were dangerous. I disagreed. A woman who knew her mind, and her worth, was intoxicating.

  She cleared her throat and I realized my thoughts had been wandering to the past. “My apologies.”

  Her face flushed a pretty pink. “It’s fine just stop looking at me like that.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like I’m more than an employee.”

  I leaned out, about to pull her in again for another lesson but she stalled my hands, placing her small ones on the outside of my own. They were chilled slightly but the touch sent a heat through me I hadn’t felt in years.

  “I think we just had this conversation.”

  She leaned in and pulled her hands into her lap. “No, we had a lecture. You told me how you wanted it and didn’t give me the chance to offer an opinion.”

  Fair point. “Very well, what is your opinion on the matter, Miss Vale?”

  “Do you actually want to know, or are you going to do that playboy billionaire thing where you declare something to be and suddenly the universe aligns against the poor unsuspecting female you set your sights on?”

  I chuckled. She was funny. Maybe Sibyl had been funny too, and I never took the time to notice. “I promise your opinion will be considered with appropriate weight.”

  “That sounds like something a billionaire playboy would say.”

  I didn’t respond to her taunts but waited instead for her answer.

  She raked her eyes over my face and body, and I’d never felt more on display. I sat up straighter, which caused a little tick of a smile to appear at the corner of her mouth.

  “I don’t want to date you, Gray. You’re technically my boss, and while you’re very attractive I can’t put aside my personal work ethic.”

  My heart hit my feet and shattered like a boulder into a pile of rubble. Of course I wasn’t going to force her to do anything. But part of me had hoped my charm or appeal might at least give me the opportunity.

  “Is there anything I can do to change your mind?”

  She shook her head and gave me a sad soft smile, the kind reserved for deathbeds and christenings. Definitely not the reaction I wanted from her. Not the smile I wanted from her.

  I nodded and stood up, unable to remain under her scrutiny once she’d made her opinion so very plain. “Of course. I’ll not bother you again.”

  “And you’ll stop following me?”

  I threw some bills on the table, slipped my arms into my coat, and buttoned it, all without meeting her eyes. The rejection stung. In fact, I don’t think I’d ever felt this particular mix of humiliation and sadness. Once I was put together and glued on the face I showed the world, I gave her my own version of the deathbed smile and a little bow. “Of course.”

  I walked away without a word but when I reached the middle of the square a hand clasped my shoulder. Izzy grabbed me and held out the book I’d left on the table. I took it and met her eyes, unsure what she could see there, unsure what I could and couldn’t hide when I was around her.

  She leaned in and whispered, “I’m not going to ask to kiss you but I will give you this as a parting gift.”

  The scent of her surrounded me as well as the tang of chicken salad and soft croissant. The coffee on my own breath. I swallowed, unsure what she was aiming at. When she leaned in to place a soft kiss on my cheek only an inch beside my mouth, I decided if I only got one shot at this I might as well make the most of it.

  Instead of letting her end it there I wrapped my hands around her cheeks, looked deep into those blue eyes and waited a hair's breadth of a second for her to pull away if she wanted.

  It was a new kind of relief when she remained, and I didn’t allow her a second chance. I kept my eyes open, watching her emotions war in a mix of curiosity and reluctance. When I pressed my lips to hers, they cleared into something far more delightful.

  As she softened to me I gave in, closed my eyes, and savored the feel of her soft skin on mine. It lasted a second until I released her and stepped back. She stood stock still, her hands still where they’d lifted to clutch my forearms, eyes closed, lips open and freshly flushed.

  “Good Day, Miss Vale,” I said, before tucking my book under my arm and heading back to my office. At the very least, I’d given her something to think about. At the most, I’d been given a memory to cherish until maybe, in another life, we might play this game again.

  I ignored everyone until I was in my office, the door shut tight. Then I let the mask drop away and sat unmoving on the couch. The doctors called it depression. The way I felt hollow all the time, mostly feeling absolutely nothing, until something could spark me and I would feel human again for a short while. It never took long for it to return. They wanted me on some sort of medication, and while I wasn’t against pharmaceuticals, I had no idea what and how my body would react to anything. I wasn’t exactly a normal man.

  Instead I’d practice being normal and when I was alone I could break the mask and tell myself it was ok not to feel anything.

  Izzy had changed that recently. It would only take a glimpse of her to bring me to life for a week at a time. After that kiss I should have been walking on clouds, and yet the idea of never doing it again crushed any happiness I’d garnered for those brief seconds.

  The macabre part of me wondered if this was how it was meant to go in the past. Maybe Sibyl was never supposed to meet me, or fall in love. Maybe if I hadn’t been selfish and pushed her she would have lived out her life, perfectly oblivious to me and my dark desires.

  If I’d have been a stronger man, maybe I
would have let her. Even as I tried to convince myself I knew it was all a lie. I was as powerless against Sibyl in all her glory as I was against Izzy now. All she had to do was say the word and I’d crawl at her feet.

  Was I seeking forgiveness from Izzy for my mistakes with Sibyl? Maybe. What was so wrong with that? It wasn’t as if she’d ever know, ever understand how much I needed to make amends for my sins, or how much I’d done over the years in the attempt.

  I glanced up at the bookshelf lining the wall behind my desk. It was basically the only solace I had in this world that I seemed unable to quit. I got up and placed War and Peace on the shelf carefully between Proust and Kafka, the spines flush and straight. I’d already read it at least a hundred times. Some new material might be in order.

  I hopped on the computer and scrolled through the wish list on my favorite book retailer, but before I could pinpoint something a light knock came at the door.

  I didn’t have any more appointments and I only returned to the office because I didn’t want Izzy to think her rejection of me hurt as a bad as it did.

  “Come in,” I called. Then I schooled my features into my trademark look of mild curiosity and billionaire savoir faire.

  The door popped open and then inched farther as Izzy stepped inside. “So this is the bat cave huh?”

  “Can I help you, Miss Vale?”

  She cleared her throat and gestured at the chair across the desk. “May I sit?”

  “Of course, please.”

  “I saw that you approved the updates. You did that earlier, before I even proposed it as a prize in that game, didn’t you?”

  I shrugged. “Maybe. Or maybe I really think it needs an update.”

  She let out a long-suffering sigh and measured me across the desk. I could feel her eyes on me, going over every single inch. Fortunately, years at this meant she’d never find a hair out of place. “Mr. Gray, would you like to accompany me for a drink this evening?”

  I had to keep my joy, which was threatening to choke me, from my tone. “Why Miss Vale, do you think that entirely appropriate? I am your boss, after all.”