Z-Minus (Book 6)

by Perrin Briar

  He headed for the door and left. Hamish looked around at his surroundings and wondered what he had done to put himself in this situation. Thousands of miles from any meaningful civilization. Stuck in a shack full of nerds who would only see him as an attempt to replace their beloved Dr. Scott. All this travelling, all this inconvenience, for a chance to see an old friend who probably wouldn’t even remember him anyway.

  He took a seat on the mattress. It was soft. At least he’d get a good night’s sleep, though he doubted getting a good night’s sleep was very difficult for someone stuck at the asshole of nowhere, where everything was an inconvenience and a major upheaval.

  Hamish put his recently acquired bubblehead on a desk. It nodded to him, wobbling side to side, as if asking him what he was doing here. It was a question he’d been asking himself ever since he arrived.

  It’d been a long time since they’d seen one another. Would she remember him? Why did he think coming here to see her would change anything? He shook his head. Too late now. He’d made his bed and now he had to lie in it. Part of the attraction in coming here was the fact there was no backing out. In for a penny, in for a pound. It wasn’t like he could hail a taxi out of there.

  “A bit different to Princeton campus, huh?” a voice said.

  Hamish looked up to see her leaning against the doorframe, her arms crossed beneath her breasts, head cocked to one side in thoughtful repose. Hamish’s insides turned to water.

  “Not really,” Hamish said.

  Kate wore a small smile. It was playful, and reminded Hamish of when they were kids and she wanted to do something to annoy the teachers. He’d always gone along with it, and he’d always been the one to get caught and take the rap. Kate always came forward to admit her part in the plan too, but the teachers never really took her admission seriously. She was top of the class in every subject, her parents very active on the school boards. She was never going to get treated the same as Hamish.

  But he didn’t care. It was a small price to pay to spend time with her. What were losing a few lunchtimes in detention compared to spending days preparing their pranks together? Being with her was like an adventure. They were the last adventures he’d ever had. Until now.

  “You’ve gotten taller,” Kate said.

  “I stopped slouching,” Hamish said.

  They hugged. Hamish embraced Kate tight. He was surprised to find she hugged him back just as hard. He could smell her scent – lavender with a splash of daisy. She felt good in his arms. When he pulled back, he could see she had a big smile on her face too. She turned her head to one side so she could hug Hamish again. He welcomed her warmth.

  Kate never changed. She always looked the same, if a little worn with wrinkles around the eyes. She still had the same broad grin, the same slim tomboyish body, the same mischievous eyes that glinted with youth and vitality. She actually looked better to Hamish’s eyes than she ever had before.

  She was the reason he’d come to Antarctica. She was the one thing in his life that if he could turn back the hands of time he would have changed. He was shy at school, especially with girls. She had been the girl of his dreams, except he hadn’t known that at the time. They were close friends, and he supposed they would always be together. He hadn’t known how special their relationship was until he was at university, after a series of unsuccessful girlfriends. Kate had been the only girl who’d ever truly understood him, accepted him. But by then she was studying hundreds of miles away at Brown.

  They kept in touch, but only via the superficial means of social media. He didn’t really know her anymore, nor she him. It was only by chance, at a science conference in L.A., that he had met her again. They met and talked about the old days. They’d talked in the bar, and then walked around a park, and then went back to Hamish’s room and raided the mini-bar. They’d fallen asleep. Kate was in his arms in the morning. Hamish was sober enough to know nothing happened. She’d smelled so good, had felt so right that he never wanted to let her go.

  But he did. They said little that morning, eyes skirting around one another, glancing up, and then looking away again as if they’d committed the ultimate sin. They hadn’t done anything to be ashamed of, but they had crossed a boundary they hadn’t even acknowledged before.

  The next day, they took their separate flights home. The sterility of his then current girlfriend was laid bare. They had problems, but they, like everyone else, simply coasted through life, ignoring them. Hamish couldn’t coast any longer. Kate had thrown his life into sharp relief.

  Every girlfriend and date Hamish had gone on after her was a bland copy. He found himself comparing his dates against Kate, trying to reconcile their strengths and weaknesses against hers, and they always came up short. He often found himself shaking his head in the shower when a thought of her and his missed opportunity came to mind. Why hadn’t he just taken the risk and asked her out? The answer was prosaic, obvious and deceptively simple: the fear of rejection.

  Hamish had once again failed to take the initiative and make something happen, fearing he would lose Kate as a friend, and lose his only real connection to that early part of his life, and at the same time, be unable to pursue any kind of meaningful relationship.

  “It was good to see you,” Kate had said at the airport.

  She’d let go of his hand – Hamish hadn’t realized they were holding hands – and boarded her plane. The words Hamish wanted to say got stuck in his throat.

  Be with me. Be with me always.

  But his avertness to risk had choked him, and he had said nothing. His was the kind of irrational fear that drove a man mad, the kind that only occurred to him after the moment had long passed, leaving him to dwell on it for years, until he either became old, twisted and spiteful, or he finally took action, only for it to be too late. That was why Hamish was here now. To see if it was too late.

  “It’s good to see you,” Kate said, an echo of their final words to one another.

  “It’s good to see you too,” Hamish said.

  “How was your trip?” Kate said.

  “Long,” Hamish said. “Someone needs to build an overseas highway through here.”

  “The Environment Committee will love that,” Kate said.

  “I’ll make sure to float it next time,” Hamish said.

  They shared a grin.

  “Fancy seeing you here,” Hamish said.

  “Yeah,” Kate said. “Fancy that. I suppose the universe moves in mysterious ways.”

  “Very mysterious,” Hamish said. “How are you holding up?”

  “You’ve seen the facilities, right?” Kate said. “How do you think I’m holding up?”

  “What made you come all this way to live on an ice cube?” Hamish said. “The last I remember, you were enjoying the sandy Florida beaches.”

  “Alas, you can only enjoy beaches for so long before you start to miss frigid cold temperatures,” Kate said.

  “Yes,” Hamish said. “I’ve heard that.”

  “Sorry I couldn’t meet you earlier,” Kate said. “I was busy half-drowning myself in freezing water.”

  “Sounds like fun,” Hamish said.

  “Oh, it is,” Kate said. “Nothing like your life flashing before your eyes to wake you up in the morning.”

  “It’s terrible what happened to Dr. Scott,” Hamish said.

  “It is,” Kate said. “We don’t know why he did it. He seemed his usual happy self.”

  “I suppose all people who disappear do,” Hamish said. “That’s why they disappear in the first place, otherwise someone would stop them.”

  “I suppose,” Kate said. “But Dr. Scott didn’t disappear. He’s dead.”

  Hamish glanced out his door, checking no one was there.

  “Daniel doesn’t seem to think Dr. Scott is really dead,” he said.

  Kate rolled her eyes.

  “He wouldn’t,” she said.

  Hamish cocked his head to the side at her cynical comment.

 
“Dr. Scott was like a grandfather to me,” Kate said. “Kind, caring. Supportive. To others he was more like a father figure.”

  “And to Daniel?” Hamish said.

  “A shining beacon of light,” Kate said. “He funded this whole expedition too, which only reinforced his power in Daniel’s eyes. Don’t get me wrong, I love being here and I have huge respect for Dr. Scott, but there needs to be some relativity.”

  Kate’s eyes flickered to the grin on Hamish’s face.

  “What?” she said.

  “Nothing,” Hamish said.

  “There’s clearly something,” Kate said.

  “It’s just good to see you still haven’t become part of the system,” Hamish said.

  Kate shrugged.

  “I am who I am,” she said. “Nothing I can do about that, I’m afraid.”

  “Good,” Hamish said. “I wouldn’t want you to.”

  Kate grinned. Her eyes flickered up to his eyes, and then away again.

  “Anyway, forget about me,” she said. “What brought you here?”

  Hamish smiled.

  “What brings anyone here?” he said. “Opportunity.”

  “That’s one way to look at it, I guess,” Kate said.

  Her eyes caught on the bubblehead on the desk. She pressed his head so he nodded.

  “You got one too, huh?” Kate said.

  “My new friend,” Hamish said. “He’s a bit of a yes man. He only ever agrees with everything I say.”

  Kate smiled. The little bubblehead kept nodding.

  “I wish he didn’t want them handed out,” Kate said. “I think they’re creepy.”

  “In what way?” Hamish said. “Looks pretty twee to me.”

  “It’s like a fake scene that has been engineered to look pleasant and nice, when there’s really something hidden and sinister underneath,” Kate said.

  “I know what you mean,” Hamish said. “But he’s also a cute little guy with a bone.”

  “That’s because yours isn’t some kind of cross-dressing Middle Age knight,” Kate said. “They really vary in quality.”

  “They’re harmless,” Hamish said. “Kids toys, that’s all. You’re reading too much into them. The viewer sees what they want to see.”

  “Thanks, Dr. Freud,” Kate said. “The heads are filled with a liquid, did you know? It helps them to bob their heads more, and in a more random kind of way. I’m worried about breaking it if I touch it.”

  “A sign of superior craftsmanship, I’m sure,” Hamish said.

  “It’s a strange thing to leave to someone, don’t you think?” Kate said.

  Hamish shrugged.

  “It’s all he had here,” Hamish said. “What else could he give? His dirty winter socks?”

  “Dirty winter socks would have been more useful to me,” Kate said. “I could barely pack everything I needed already. Have you met the others yet?”

  “Only Patrick and Ian,” Hamish said.

  “Typical Daniel,” Kate said, rolling her eyes. “Always thinking about work and not the people. Come with me. I’ll introduce you to the others.”

  Z-MINUS: 6 hours 1 minute

  Kate helped Hamish with his winter gear. It smelled fusty, of dirt and sweat. Not surprising, as he was already sweating before they even stepped outside. The coveralls were a brand called Carhartts. They were comfortable, easy to move in, and very warm. The boots and hood had some kind of animal fur on the inside. It was itchy and still smelled like the animal after it had died. The items were all the same shade of green. Kate’s were a deep orange.

  “Why are we wearing different colors?” Hamish said.

  “So we can easily identify each other outside,” Kate said. “It’s easy now, while it’s clear, but it’d be impossible to recognize each other if we were caught in a blizzard. Ready?”

  Hamish wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be ready for, but he nodded anyway. Kate pushed the door of the little changing room open. They were hit by a wall of pure cold. Hamish immediately stopped sweating, the cold snatching his breath away. Kate closed the door and fastened it behind them.

  The world was silent, calm, a strong wind blowing across the landscape. Its calm whistle played over the rocky landscape. It was much colder on this side of the shack than it had been on the entrance side. He supposed it was because there was no soothing sea, nothing to break the cold that swept across the Antarctic landscape, save the three huts before them.

  The one on the left was small, not much larger than a garden shed. It was the immersion shed, Kate explained. Where the divers entered the ice and explored beneath the surface. The middle shed was about the size of a garage. The last one was by far the largest. These were color-coordinated too. Hamish supposed it was for the same reason as the main base – in case of low visibility during a storm.

  Kate led them toward the smallest hut. Hamish had to lean forward, using his weight as momentum to carry him forward. He caught himself with each step before he fell. It wasn’t far to the hut, but it was a hard slog.

  “The cold weather wreaks havoc on batteries, so if you carry a computer, camera, or iPod, stick a hand-warmer in your pocket,” Kate said. “Oh, and a word of advice: preheat your engine before you get in bed. Do sit ups, jumping jacks, anything to get your blood pumping before you get in bed. And your room will be very cold in the morning. Put your clothes underneath the covers at the foot of your bed the night before. They’ll be nice and toasty come morning.”

  Kate opened the smallest shed’s door. The warmth hit Hamish like a brick wall, a fresh layer of sweat expelling from his body. Kate and Hamish hustled inside and shut the door behind them.

  Hamish followed Kate’s lead and removed his hood and unzipped his Carhartts. There were two other men in the small hut. It was cramped with all four of them. They stood beside a small heater that radiated orange heat.

  The two men were in terrific shape. They wore the figure-hugging material of scuba divers, their goggles on top of their wet hair. Air canisters leaned against the wall to one side.

  “Daniel you’ve already met,” Kate said, nodding to each of the men. “This is Carl.”

  “And you must be Hamish,” the one called Carl said.

  He extended a large hand. Hamish shook it.

  “Kate has told me so much about you,” Daniel said.

  He wore a grin that would not have looked out of place on a shark. It was pointed at the corners and reminded Hamish of the Joker.

  “Thanks,” Hamish said. “I’m afraid I haven’t heard much about you yet.”

  “That’s not surprising,” Daniel said. “Kate and I only met when we arrived here. Didn’t we, babe.”

  Daniel wrapped an arm around Kate, who smiled, and didn’t look at Hamish, with the shyness of someone not at total comfort with showing affection in public. But she didn’t resist either.

  “Easier to keep warm when you have someone to snuggle up with,” Daniel said.

  “All right,” Carl said. “Don’t rub it in.”

  What had Hamish expected? That Kate would remain single forever, hoping he might one day pluck up the courage and ask her out on a date? Of course not. She was an intelligent, beautiful woman. She could have any guy she wanted. Though Hamish wished she hadn’t chosen Daniel. He could have been the pinup for what constituted the perfect boyfriend. A natural charmer. Everything someone like Kate deserved.

  Hamish felt very foolish. He’d come all this way across the world, journeyed till he was exhausted and couldn’t carry on, only to find the girl he wanted to be with was already with someone else – someone else taller, in better shape, better looking, and if he hadn’t missed his guess, younger too.

  Hamish wanted to turn around, call the Laurence M. Gould and head back home right then. But he knew that wasn’t possible. Captain Meadows would not turn back, and even if he did, Hamish had a job to do. He was going to be stuck here for the next two months whether he liked it or not.

  Still, he didn’t have
to be happy about the situation. And he wasn’t. It wasn’t Daniel’s fault. It wasn’t Kate’s fault either. It was his own. But he refused to pity himself. He would bury himself in work, he decided. He would disappear inside the world of biology and history and float in a sea of calmness. He wouldn’t let any of this affect him. He had a job to do.

  Hamish cleared his throat.

  “So, what do you guys do here?” Hamish said.

  Frankly, he couldn’t care less, but they had to talk about something.

  “We’re divers,” Daniel said.

  “Some of the best in the world,” Carl said.

  “I’m not sure whether they’re the best,” Kate said. “But certainly the craziest. You’d have to be to go down there for any length of time.”

  “How cold does it get down there?” Hamish said.

  “Anything down to minus thirty-six,” Daniel said.

  “Wow,” Hamish said. “That’s certainly very chilly.”

  “Some of the coldest waters in the world,” Carl said.

  More self-validation.

  “You go down there anyway?” Hamish said. “Rather you than me.”

  The two divers chuckled.

  “What do you do down there?” Hamish said.

  “We research and investigate the various life forms,” Carl said, “get samples for the other scientists, help set up experimental equipment. Things like that.”

  Hamish turned to Daniel.

  “So, not only do you assist Dr. Scott, you’re also a world-class diver?” he said.

  Daniel shrugged modestly.

  “We all have our hobbies,” he said.

  Hamish peered through the hole. The crust was thick. Slushy ice rose and fell several inches at a time, slapping against the sides.

  “Dismal way to go, don’t you think?” Carl said.

  “Dismal for who?” Hamish said.

  “The doc,” Carl said.

  Hamish frowned.

  “I don’t understand,” Hamish said. “This is how Dr. Scott went?”

  “It’s one theory,” Daniel said.

  “Yep,” Carl said, as if Daniel hadn’t spoken. “As close as we can figure, anyway. He left his coat and boots in the cloakroom area before he disappeared. The pole had been used to break the ice. There’s no reason he would have done that without following through and heading into the ice himself.”