“Olivia, forgive me,” he rasped, his voice tormented.
For what? For making me melt? For making me want you? For making me love you?
“I’m sorry. I just…I was angry you left. I thought you were running…” His voice sounding choked, he finally said, “…from me.”
Her heart clenched. She swallowed the lump in her throat, knowing now she’d never summon the courage to tell him the truth. She had been running from him, from the emotions he kindled in her.
She wanted to ask why he cared but couldn’t summon the courage for that either, not while he held her so tenderly, cradling her against his chest.
One of his arms trailed up her side then cupped her cheek and pulled her face even closer to his. “I’m sorry, Liv. I have no reason to treat you this way…I feel like…you’re pushing me away. I’m trying to…”
His voice laced with anguish tore at her. Inside, her heart broke to pieces, crying for him.
Who was this quick-tempered man? He wasn’t the man she’d grown to love. She should be glad he was giving her reason to push him away, but she couldn’t stand the thought, not after he’d come such a long way for her, not after whatever had changed him. She yearned to make it better, to help him find himself again because, regardless of his newfound temper, she loved him.
I’m pushing you away because I love you, she thought. Staring into his eyes, so blue and so sorrowful, she finally found the courage to mutter, “Cain, you don’t have to apologize.”
His expression was bleak when he said, “I owe you much more than an apology, Liv.”
His body shuddered against hers, making her crave him more. “Yes…a drink. You promised me a drink,” she said and smiled despite her desire.
He nodded and then slowly released her. As her feet hit the ground, she wobbled. He quickly placed both hands on her hips to steady her.
In minutes, they reached the bar. Cain ordered a round of drinks, apple martini for her and a whiskey straight for himself. She took two large gulps of her martini, then together they headed toward the balcony overlooking the ocean.
He stood beside her, the heat of his eyes on her when he said, “Liv, I’m so sorry I lost it.”
She turned to meet his gaze and said, “There’s nothing to be sorry about.” She meant it. Deep down, she knew she deserved it, for running from him, for not telling him the truth. Most importantly, there was no need for an apology because she’d enjoyed it, enjoyed it so much she craved him even then. Hoping to keep that thought at bay, she said, “Landon used to bring me to this island as a kid, at least once a year.”
Cain exhaled, seemingly relieved for the change in subject. “What did you do here?”
She turned to look at the ocean. Its breeze wrapped around her, taking with it the warmth of him that’d still clung to her. Now it seemed like the moment never happened, like it had been an illusion—one of her best created fantasies.
“We spent most of our time on the beach. The water’s cold, but still enjoyable. We also climbed the Mesa Vouno mountain several times and visited the ancient Thira settlement.”
“Did you ever vacation anywhere else?”
“Yes, we went to California, Miami and Barcelona as well but only a handful of times, not nearly as often as we came here. Since we have a home here, it’s easier. Plus it’s an island. My parents bought the property because it’s isolated. We have a private beach, so we can shift when we want.”
“I haven’t seen much of the island, but I think it’s beautiful.”
She smiled and looked his way then said, “It is. Oia, the northern part of the island, is made up of cliffs.” Looking back toward the ocean, she continued, “There’s a small church on a separate cliff where people go cliff diving. It’s lovely in an unconventional way. I always pictured myself getting married there.”
“You will,” he said, definitively.
She turned to look at him. His eyes seemed somber; the glimmer usually present had once again dissipated. Again, she wondered what could’ve altered Cain, a carefree man, so drastically in such a short period of time. She couldn’t help the words spilling from her lips.
“What happened to you? What happened when I was away that changed you?”
His face hardened then he shook his head.
“You can tell me, Cain. We’re friends.”
As if she said something to anger him, his eyes briefly sparked red.
He shut his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, they were once again blue. “I know I can, and I will, soon, just not tonight.”
She nodded, acknowledging he may have changed, but she hadn’t. Her love for him hadn’t faded. She needed and wanted him more than ever, which only made her wonder if she’d ever get over him. Her instincts told her she wouldn’t, and that was what she feared. Today, they were still friends. Nothing changed between them, but the minute he found his mate, it would.
He finished his drink and ordered another round. She took another sip of her martini, noticing for the first time it was strong. The alcohol burned her throat as she swallowed. The music blared inside the bar distracting her from her thoughts.
“Would you like to dance?” a voice behind her asked.
She turned and spotted a man, around six-feet-tall with dark hair and green eyes, hazy from drinking. The scent of alcohol filled her nostrils.
Tension coiled around her, and she turned to look beside her where Cain stood. His muscles were bulging, his face stark with anger, appearing inhuman like the powerful demon he was.
Could he be jealous? As quickly as the thought appeared, she batted it down. He was just being a friend trying to protect her from a mortal, drunk beyond reason. She placed her palm on Cain’s chest, a futile attempt to stall him.
Turning again to face the mortal, she said, “No, thank you.”
Immediately, she turned back to Cain. Jaw clenched so hard it was a wonder he didn’t crack his teeth, his gaze still locked on the mortal walking away from her.
She patted his stomach until his eyes met hers. “Do you think I’m stupid?”
His face blanched then he asked, “What?”
She heard his heart hammer, quickening more so than when he’d been ready to fight. Weird, she thought. “You think I’d consider dancing with an intoxicated man? I mean I could. It’s not really like he could hurt me, but…”
He sighed. “Liv, I…That…” He turned away from her, facing the ocean.
“What?”
When he turned to her once again, he leaned down bringing his face an inch from hers. His eyes blazing red, he spoke. “Do you even realize…” Releasing a breath, he snapped, “I could kill him!”
Grabbing the hem of his shirt, she angled herself so her back faced the ocean and he stood in front of her, his eyes away from the mortals in the bar then she asked, “Why?”
Clenching his jaw, he snapped, “I’m an empath, remember? I know what he was feeling…he was…fuck!” His jaw ticked once then twice, his face beginning to darken, darken in the way it did when he turned demon.
Shit. It meant he was getting angrier, angrier then he’d been before, angry enough to fuel his demon, making him start to turn.
She wasn’t afraid for herself because demon or not, Cain would never hurt her, but she was terrified of what it would mean for him, blowing his cover in front of mortals.
“Cain, please…just…calm down.” She paused, watching him attempt to control his temper and helpless with no idea what to do.
He was failing and fast. His face was now fully flamed, a tone darker, as it was when he turned, and his eyes brightened to a deeper crimson.
She panicked and did the only thing she could think of. Placing her hands on each side of his face, she forced him to meet her eyes. “Nothing happened, I’m fine,” she reminded him.
His hands went to her hips, his fingers clutching her, digging into her skin. “Stop…I don’t want to hurt—”
Shaking her head, she said, “You can’t hurt
me, Cain, even if you wanted to. It’s not in you to hurt a woman.” She swallowed suddenly aware she was millimeters from his lips.
He closed his eyes firmly then opened them. The next minute, he wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing her pelvis toward his.
His lengthening shaft throbbed against her stomach. She gasped, her heart palpitating wildly ready to break free of her chest.
He wants me, she thought, her mind swirling. It doesn’t mean anything, she chanted in her head. A man could be attracted to a woman. It didn’t mean he wanted a relationship with her. It didn’t mean she was his.
Oh crap, I’m in so much trouble. He’ll never fit me. Her last thought startled her. Was she considering bedding him? Would she have sex, her first time, with a demon she loved but could never keep?
No, she couldn’t; it would break her.
He leaned in, burying his face in the crook of her neck, then he ran his tongue along the sensitive flesh below her earlobe.
Her eyes closed, her breathing hitched as a soft moan escaped her lips. Heat engulfed every inch of her stirring desire. She couldn’t fight it. Her fingers clutching his face, her body molded to his, melting against him.
He then feathered a light kiss under her ear, and held her for several moments until her breaths slowed.
“Meae deliciae, meus sodalis,” he whispered against that same spot, his breath heating the skin on her neck.
Ignorant of the meaning, and too enthralled in the moment to ask or to push him away, she didn’t, instead she fought a tremor and failed.
He pulled away slightly, only enough to meet her eyes. “Darling, we should go.”
Darling? She nodded.
Still, he didn’t release her. He held her for several more moments staring into her eyes as if no other woman existed.
Her heart clenching in her chest, her mind whispered, I love you. She so desperately wanted to force the words out, tell him the truth.
Just when she parted her lips to speak, he released her hips, wrapping one arm around her shoulders, and led her out of the bar into the night.
Chapter 10
The scent of the ocean and the familiar scent of the peach candles she burned inside her home told her they’d arrived. Quickly and regretfully, she pulled away from Cain’s embrace and hurried inside. Rushing into her room, she closed the door behind her then slumped against it in relief, catching her breath, futilely attempting to dispel the emotions running through her.
After several moments she turned, intent on taking a cold shower and nearly collided with the man she hoped to escape.
“Oh!” She gasped, clutching her chest, her scare forgotten the moment her gaze climbed to his.
She wasn’t an empath, but the forlorn drawn expression marring his face made his emotions clear. Her stomach knotted as the need to comfort him gnawed her raw.
“I didn’t mean to scare you. I just…I’m sorry for—”
“Stop apologizing to me. You haven’t done anything wrong.”
His face hardening, he said, “I held you in an alley and demanded answers from you. I almost lost it again at the bar then I licked…”
She felt herself flush.
His face aghast, he asked, “You’re ashamed?”
“No,” she said instantly wondering why in the world he’d think that. “I’m not ashamed. I’m…” Her words fell away, feeling heat climb down her neck and chest. “…embarrassed we’re discussing it.”
Running his hand through his blond hair, he said, “I’m sorry I’m ruining this. It’s my fault. I can’t seem to do anything right—”
“Stop!” she yelled, exasperated with his apologies. “I’m a werewolf. I can handle myself! I didn’t stop you because it felt good. You make me…”
She trailed off again, then cringed when she realized what she’d admitted. Turning away from him, she was sure her face was as red as a tomato.
What did it matter? Why should she care if he saw her blush? He was an empath and could feel how badly she wanted him. And still, she felt embarrassed. No, it was more like humiliated because he knew how she felt and he didn’t feel the same, but also because of her own inexperience.
“Liv,” he said, closing the distance between them. Only a foot away, he asked, “Can I hold you?”
Yes, please, hold me forever, she thought then nodded. She was digging her own grave but at the moment she couldn’t care less. She wanted, no, she needed him to hold her, to comfort her. As reckless and foolish as it was, she wanted to pretend, just for a little while, what she felt wasn’t one-sided.
He slowly closed the remaining distance between them, grabbed her hand and turned her then wrapped one arm around her back and cupped the back of her head with the other, pressing her cheek firmly against his chest.
It felt so good, the heat of his body against hers; she closed her eyes tightly and sighed.
He exhaled. “My behavior today has been…I have no excuse. I promise tomorrow will be better.”
Today was great. Them together, alone with no other immortals, she’d almost felt like they were a real couple. At times, her heart had chanted they were.
She lifted her head to stare in his eyes. “I had fun today.”
Chuckling humorlessly, he whispered, “You’re just saying that to make me feel better because you’re special like that.”
He was doing it again, making her love him even more. She swallowed. “No, I’m not. I hadn’t left this house in days before you came. Thank you for dinner and drinks.”
It was the truth. Regardless of her dilemma, Cain made everything worthwhile. She loved him; there was no changing it and little use in denying it. She hadn’t tried to fall in love with him, but it happened. She couldn’t control her feelings for him any more than she could control his. No way around it, so in that moment, she decided to accept what he offered, friendship, without wallowing in misery. She’d have plenty of time to think of how unfair life was when he left. For now, she wanted to take advantage.
“Let’s watch a movie,” she said.
He kissed the top of her forehead, the heat of his lips making her shiver. “You are an amazing woman. No man I know is worth you,” he whispered, then drew his finger down her cheek. Pulling her against his chest until her cheek lay flat against him, he rested his chin on the top of her head and said, “Meae deliciae, meus sodalis.”
The words wove themselves around her in a soft caress like a revelation. Still, she had no knowledge of their meaning. She knew it was Latin, the native tongue of demons, and she didn’t care to ask because their meaning didn’t matter. At the moment, she was content with believing he’d said something that had the power to change both their lives forever.
****
Well past one a.m., the movie they’d watched ended. With Olivia draped across his chest fast asleep, Cain couldn’t summon the strength to move.
Shortly after they’d turned on the movie, he heard the familiar sound of her slow and even breaths. She’d fallen asleep. Not a moment later, he pulled her against him, held her as she slept. Now, he sat as still as he could, admiring her in sleep as he’d done many times before, unbeknownst to her.
He’d done it so often he’d lost count. The first time he’d done it, he hadn’t planned it. His fierce craving to see her had demanded it. The desire pierced through him, forcing him to undermine his will. Although he knew she needed time and had vowed he wouldn’t destroy his chance with her, he couldn’t stay away.
The few hours a day he spent with her weren’t enough to soothe his need. After the first night he watched her sleep, he couldn’t find the strength to stop. It was destiny’s fault, but he couldn’t blame fate because he’d been given the best gift of all—someone to share his long existence with. The only solution had been to watch her sleep. It gave them both what they needed: her time, and him, peace.
Tonight as he watched her sleep, his fragmented mind was in shambles. He couldn’t believe what he’d done to her, his gift, his mat
e. He led her in an alley, pressed her against the wall and held her there as he demanded answers. All the while his anger whirled around them, unable to shield her from it. His control lost, gone along with his mind. The first time he’d lost control in more than four hundred years.
Jocelyn was right to have made him wait. It seemed he hadn’t waited long enough. The moment he sensed she pushed him away, rage began to bubble. At times as easily as it began, it ebbed. All he had to do was use his gift to read her. In the alley, he thought he’d find fear, instead he found desire. That was all it had taken to soothe him.
His Olivia desired him and had been hot to the touch because she craved him. Although she hadn’t said as much, he’d felt it. Now, he’d always know. He’d never forget.
If only he’d read her before she pushed him away, he wouldn’t have lost control.
Then when she was opening up to him again, that damn mortal had asked her to dance. The man, too stupid to realize Cain would kill him for even glancing at his mate, was beyond intoxicated, desire had gushed off of him and that desire had been for his mate. Even now, it made his blood boil just thinking of it.
You think I’m stupid, she had asked him and his heart nearly stopped. For that brief moment, he thought she’d admit she knew she was his, but she hadn’t. Because she didn’t know or just refused to admit it, he still didn’t know.
To top off the night, he’d licked her! He had actually licked his mate’s neck before pressing his lips against hers. He knew she enjoyed it, but that didn’t make it right. Licking his virgin mate in a bar to control his demon? The most selfish, inconsiderate thing he’d done in his entire existence.
I’m losing my fucking mind.
It was getting late, and regardless of how he wanted to continue to hold her in his arms, he’d already committed one too many selfish acts. Olivia needed a bed where she could sleep comfortably.
One arm under her legs and the other behind her back, he rose, carrying her, then materialized in her room and laid her in bed. As he pulled away, her nails lengthened, tearing his shirt. He tried to pry her nails away, but she wouldn’t let go.
Awaiting Fate Page 7