“It’s hard shooting them after you see their eyes,” Ian mumbled.
“Bullshit,” Lance snapped. “Jennifer, give me the tampon, and tell me how to use it,” Lance said and glanced over at Ian. “I’ll kill his ass with that.” Still in pain, Jennifer couldn’t help but laugh.
Seeing the man reach, Lance yanked the wheel. “He’s tired,” Ian said, looking at the man and seeing him as a person.
“Ian, I saw what his buddies were doing. He isn’t a man,” Jennifer said behind them.
“Left turn ahead,” the GPS said, and Lance slowed, and the man looked up with a thankful expression.
“Psych!” Lance yelled, yanking the wheel and taking the turn really fast. The sudden movements made the man lose his grip, and he rolled and slid down but not off the hood. The chains on his belt were caught in the brush guard, but his feet were dragging the ground again.
Seeing he wasn’t going to fall, the man tried climbing back up and moved toward the pistol trapped under the brush guard. Exhaustion was apparent by his weak movements and on his face, but still, he tried. “Ian, that fucker would’ve raped all three of the girls,” Lance said coldly.
“Motherfucker,” Ian shouted and got on his knees to open the sun roof. Standing up, they heard small, faint coughs over the wind. Lance watched the man jerk and heard the screams. Suddenly, Ian dropped down, holding the Ruger up.
“You know, I just found out a .22 isn’t that great for killing a man,” he said, looking at the pistol, and felt a thump.
Looking up expecting the man to be gone, Ian saw a stinker flying toward the ditch. “Why didn’t you shoot him with the XD? 9mm is much better,” Lance said, lining up the Hummer on a stinker that stepped out on the road. The man saw the stinker coming at him and covered his head with his hands as Lance hit the stinker, and the man screamed.
“You really think I want to listen to you for putting holes in your precious H1 Alpha? I know it’s supposed to be bullet resistant, but that is over the engine, and that is rather important.”
Impressed, Lance nodded. “Shit, amigo, that is thinking ahead.”
“I poked ten holes in his chest. He shouldn’t be a problem much longer.”
Weaving down the small blacktop, they watched the man flop around on the hood with the turns. Reaching the end of the paved road, the tires stopped singing as everyone felt the bump as they rolled down the dirt road. “Find us a place where we can get rid of our hood ornament,” Lance said as trees closed in from both sides.
Grabbing the map, Ian started looking. “Hey, we have to get back on a big road again up ahead.”
“So I take it nowhere to stop before we get there and get rid of the bonehead, lard ass on the hood?”
“If we knew Gumby didn’t have friends on Highway 92, there are a few places with big fields on both sides. We’re only going to be on 92 for about five miles, then we turn at Coopersville, and it’s all sticks from then on. I see one spot like six miles or so in that we could stop, but it’s not wide open like the others were,” Ian said and looked up from the map.
“Hey Jennifer, if you can, will you get me a bottle of water?” Lance asked, perched over the steering wheel. “Where is our next rest stop Doug had planned?”
“Five miles from I-75,” Ian said, looking at the clock. “1:32,” he cried out. “I feel like we’ve been on this trip forever.”
“Shit, I feel like I’ve driven around the world twice,” Lance said as Jennifer tapped Ian on the shoulder to hand up water bottles. Ian opened one then shoved a straw in it, holding it for Lance. True to form, Lance sucked it down like a black hole formed inside the bottle.
Ian drained his, seeing blood blowing up the hood from under the man. “We should make the punk wash the Hummer before we cap his ass.”
“He ain’t touching the Alpha,” Lance said as a deer bounced across the road. “Damn, I forgot to watch for deer.”
“You’ve dealt with cows, stinkers, bandits, and wrecks. Flatten Bambi’s ass.”
“Right turn one mile ahead,” the GPS announced.
Taking a deep breath, Lance gripped the steering wheel tighter and let off the pedal. “I like big roads because I can see a long ways and go fast, but bad shit tends to be near them.”
Looking at the man still moving on the hood, Ian nodded. “Yeah, shit floats.”
Chapter 15
Moving down a hill and seeing Hwy 92 running down the valley ahead, Lance stopped at the edge of the tree line. The black line of the highway stretched out across their front. “We should’ve left some of those thermals out,” Lance said, looking around, but didn’t even see any points of light in the valley.
“Hindsight is 20/20, amigo,” Ian said as he looked around.
“Fuck it, we’re going,” Lance said, easing down on the accelerator, slowly picking up speed.
“You don’t want to shake our hood ornament? You usually stomp taking off?”
Lance shook his head and said, “I noticed when all those stinkers charged us when I stomped on the pedal, the Hummer made more noise, and they came out faster.” As he spoke, Lance took his foot off the pedal and slowed, taking the turn wide then gently pressing the pedal down again.
“We are definitely learning,” Ian said as Lance slowly picked up speed.
“Left turn five point two miles ahead,” the GPS said.
“We need to program the GPS to sound like the computer on the Enterprise,” Lance said, seeing the needle pass sixty.
Feeling a tap on his shoulder, Ian looked over and saw a bottle of water. “Lance is dripping sweat again,” Jennifer said.
Ian took the bottle. “How’s your burn?” he asked, putting the straw in the bottle.
“Took some ibuprofen, and it’s helping a little,” she said.
“How are the twerps?”
She looked down to see the two holding each other, wide awake. “Awake and scared.”
He forced the straw in Lance’s mouth. “Well, aren’t we all,” Ian said as the water disappeared.
“Right turn point six miles ahead,” the GPS announced, and Lance took his foot off the accelerator.
“I like it when the houses are far off the road,” he said, taking the turn rather fast. “The stinkers don’t have time to get to the road before I pass.”
Turning down the smaller road, Lance’s words soon bit him in the ass. The houses were much closer to the road, and stinkers were moving. Lance still pressed the pedal down gently, building up his speed and only sending two flying before he was past the others. He stayed at forty-five, and the stinkers couldn’t make the road before the Hummer shot past.
The road followed a ridge up, and soon, trees were pressed against the road. They rode in silence for a while with only the GPS breaking the quiet. After the second turn, Ian grabbed the map. “Up ahead, you will see a clearing, and the road runs down the middle of it till it Ys off. That is the only place I really see to get rid of sparky.”
Lance just nodded and drove on, soon coming out in the clearing. “Left turn at Y ahead. Gradual left turn, taking 1122,” the GPS announced.
Taking his foot off the accelerator, Lance said, “Shit, I didn’t even know these damn dirt roads had names.” The Hummer stopped at the Y, and Lance looked over at the tree line on his side. “Trees are about fifty to sixty yards from my side.”
“Have a good hundred on my side,” Ian said, cracking his door and sniffing the air. “I smell rotten eggs, but it’s different.”
“Yeah, the front end is covered in stinker guts,” Lance said, getting out and pulling his AR off the dash. “You stay back with the girls so I can shoot him.”
“I’ll do it.”
“No, I’ll do it. I just don’t want one of you walking across my line of fire.”
“Guys, we are peeing right outside this door and getting the hell back inside,” Jennifer said, opening the door.
“Hold on, Jen,” Lance said. “We ran over a shitload of them; let me check under the
Hummer.” Almost panting, Jennifer slammed the door shut. Lance launched himself out of the Hummer, landing several feet away. He leaned down and saw an arm sticking out from under the back tire. Moving closer, he saw it was only an arm hung up on the shocks.
“Ian, tell her to go ahead and get out, but stay there,” Lance said, moving to the front. As he got close, he heard the man breathing with a rasp. “Hey, bitch boy,” Lance said, smiling.
Slowly, the man looked up, turning toward Lance’s voice. “A fucking kid,” he rasped and coughed up blood.
“God damn it, Scooter, get the guys out of there!” sounded over a radio.
“Oh, you have a radio,” Lance grinned. “Number One thought you might and were having buddies wait as others chased people into a trap.”
“Little punk, if you wouldn’t have had those goggles, we woulda got your ass,” the man rasped.
“Punk, I’m not the one laying on the hood like a shot pussy boy.”
“Little motherfu—” the man started and coughed up blood.
“You even bleed like a bitch.”
“A fucking kid,” the man moaned.
“I see from your jacket you’re part of a dick sucking club. What’s the name so we can make reservations?”
“Fuck you!” the man shouted and moved for the pistol.
Pfft sounded as Lance pulled the trigger of his AR, hitting the man in the hip and making him scream. “Hey, shut it, or I’ll send another one,” Lance said.
“Devil Lords,” the man said, panting as he held a hand over the new hole.
“As you know, we have stinkers coming behind us. Tell you what; I’ll let you decide. We leave you to get ripped apart, or I’ll get the tampon out of the Hummer and use it to kill your ass.”
The man tried lifting his body off the Hummer. “Why, you dirty motherfuck—” and his head exploded.
Ian ran around the Hummer. “Did you see how scared that fucking biker was of being killed by a tampon?!”
“We have to learn that weapon,” Lance said, moving over to the man. Seeing the chain connected to a wallet, Lance undid the snap at the belt. He and Ian pulled the body off, and Ian patted the man’s back and lifted up the leather jacket, pulling out a radio. “You taking that?”
“Hell no; it’s been on voice, so I’m sure the wind whited out that channel, but if they are even halfway smart, they can find this spot.”
“You’re giving them a lot of credit,” Lance said, moving over to the body. Ian pulled the pistol out of the brush guard and walked back to the Hummer.
Ian pressed the transmit key. “Hey, little Devil whores, we just killed your buddy with a tampon.”
“We are coming for you!” a voice yelled from the radio.
“Shit I hope so; he said you give good blow jobs,” Ian chuckled.
“Is this a fucking kid?”
“Yeah, a kid that killed your little girly man with a tampon,” Ian said with a grunt.
“You have desecrated a Devil Lord, so you and all your family are dead!”
Lance walked up, grabbing the radio. “Suck my nuts, bitch boy. Your little friend did it very good after we started on him with the tampon.”
“I’ll kill you and your friend with tampons, boy.”
“Can’t hurt us with them; we know how to fight against them,” Lance laughed. “Sorry, but we have to leave. Just to let you know, your boy is barely breathing and should last a few more minutes. We told him where to find us, and if you’re brave enough, come get some.”
As the voice shouted, Lance tossed the radio away. “Let’s book,” he said, trotting around the Hummer. Ian looked at the body in front of the Hummer and laughed.
He climbed inside and closed the door. “You shit on his jacket?”
Lance shifted in drive and drove around the body. “Yeah, remember that movie we watched about the biker gang? In it, they said the back of their jacket was their colors, and no one could even get it dirty. I almost blew a blood vessel straining to shit, but I had to leave a calling card.”
As the Hummer pulled off, Jennifer laughed. “You two are insane. Now I really want to know; was that you two that put the cows in the school?”
“We didn’t put the cows in the school,” Lance said.
“Come on, it’s not like you’re going to get in trouble now.”
“Seriously, Jennifer, we didn’t put the cows in the school,” Ian said over his shoulder.
Feeling let down, Jennifer looked out over a valley as they rode along the ridge. “I always thought it was you two.”
“First, you can’t put a cow anywhere; they are just too damn big,” Lance said.
Ian glanced over his shoulder. “If you wanted to lead some, you could use a bucket of sweet feed.”
“Yeah, they will follow someone with a bucket of sweet feed through a neighborhood, down a road, and even across a playground,” Lance said as he nodded, perched over the steering wheel.
“If you tie a string to the push doors, you can pull it to open the doors from the outside and use a piece of tape with some string and some aluminum foil on the alarm, and you’re not breaking in,” Ian said, looking back out the front window.
“Tapping the bucket and spreading the sweet feed, cows will just walk in on their own,” Lance said, chuckling. “But we didn’t put the cows in the school.”
“Leaving the school, you take the string that was carelessly left on the door, closing it. When it’s closed, pull the string with the piece of tape and aluminum foil so the school doesn’t experience vandalism,” Ian said, picking up the map. “But we didn’t put the cows in the school.”
Jennifer busted out laughing. “Those cows shit everywhere!”
“We didn’t do it,” Lance sighed.
“You led them there,” Jennifer cackled.
“No, we went for a walk. The cows might have followed,” Ian chuckled.
Lance glanced over at Ian quickly. “I still want to shoot that damn bull.”
“Yeah, he was a monkey wrench in the plan,” Ian nodded.
Jennifer stopped laughing and stared at the two. “But you did it; why not just admit to it?”
“We didn’t put the cows in the school,” Ian said, shaking his head.
“It’s semantics; you led them, and they stayed. You put them there.”
Shaking his head, Lance chuckled. “To put is to ‘move or place.’ We did neither.”
“Whoa,” Jennifer gasped. “You two brainwashed yourselves so it couldn’t be pinned on you.”
“If you think so,” Lance said, slowing for a curve.
“Did your parents question you?” Jennifer asked, leaning forward between the seats over Dino.
“Yeah, they questioned us apart and together. Then the principal and police,” Ian said, looking up from the map. “But we didn’t put the cows in the school.”
“What about the bees?”
“Oh, we didn’t put them there,” Lance chuckled.
“I know the police questioned you on that,” Jennifer said, getting wide-eyed. “Weren’t you scared?”
“No, we didn’t put the bees there,” Ian said. “We even passed a polygraph, and after that, our dads told the cops if they even looked at us again, we would own the department.”
Falling back against the pile of stuff, Jennifer was totally blown away. “I just knew you two did it.”
“Do we know the bee hive came from a hollow tree near Gilbert’s farm? Yes,” Ian laughed.
“B-bu-bu…but you passed a lie detector test,” Jennifer stuttered in awe.
“Aaah,” Ian said, raising a finger to point at the ceiling, “because we didn’t ‘put’ the bees in the cafeteria. Someone used a wagon, moving the hive, and the hive slid off. Not our fault where the hive got lost at.” Speechless, Jennifer just muttered.
“Ian, I still can’t believe they served the same shit after that. I just knew they would make changes,” Lance growled.
“You two would’ve ruled the world,” Je
nnifer gasped.
“I doubt that,” Lance said as the GPS told him to turn.
Pushing herself up, Jennifer stuck her head between the seats. “What else did you do?”
“Nothing,” they said in unison.
Groaning, she whined, “Come on, guys, it’s me.”
“Sorry, but we didn’t do anything,” Lance said, grinning over the steering wheel.
Allie tapped Jennifer’s arm, and Jennifer looked down at her. “They don’t ever admit to anything they know they will get in trouble for unless someone sees them do it like beating up Tony,” Allie said. “When Mr. Oliver’s lawn mower tried to kill him, Momma sat Ian down for a whole afternoon questioning him, and he never admitted to it. But we all know they did it.”
“No we didn’t,” Lance said.
“See,” Allie smiled.
The trees along the road fell away, and they looked across a valley as Lance followed the instructions from the GPS and pulled onto a two-lane blacktop. “Ian, that sign says Highway 93. Is that the same fucking road we turned off of way back there?” Lance asked as they drove over a bridge with a gorge and small river below.
“Ah yeah,” Ian said, not even looking at the map.
“Why the hell didn’t we stay on it if we had to get back on the damn thing?” Lance cried out. “Is there like a big town or a bunch of little ones?”
“Nope.”
“You didn’t even look at the map,” Lance snapped.
“Dude, you don’t think I know this. I got perfect marks in land navigation at the jamboree last year. Uncle Doug said back roads, and we have stayed on back roads except for that one area. If we would’ve taken even the small highways like this, we would be at the cabin now,” Ian popped off.
Taking his foot of the accelerator, Lance glanced at the GPS and noticed they had traveled two hundred and seventy-two miles. “Using Uncle Doug’s route, how much further?”
Ian just looked out the window. “When the whore bitch tells us to take a left turn, we have sixty-three more miles to go.”
“Left turn two point one miles ahead,” the GPS said.
“Man, this is shit,” Lance groaned, slumping his shoulders.
Forsaken World (Book 1): Innocence Lost Page 21