~*~
Michael escorted Emma and his grandmother home. He’d told the footmen to keep a close watch for anyone following them. With Patrick being pursued and the continued search for the professor, he didn’t want to take any chances.
But seeing the ladies home safely wasn’t his only reason for accompanying them. He hoped for the opportunity to speak with Emma. While he couldn’t declare himself publicly, he wanted to tell Emma he was no longer engaged. Now that he knew Tagart had proposed, Michael felt an urgency to speak to her.
The silence drew long in the carriage. His grandmother yawned behind her hand while Emma seemed preoccupied. He didn’t bother to make conversation.
They soon arrived at his grandmother’s, and he alighted to assist his grandmother, and then Emma. “Allow me.” He offered his arm to each of them and they mounted the stairs.
“Thank you,” Emma said as they entered the hall. “I’ll bid you both good night as I want to check on my family.”
“Of course.” His grandmother turned to the drawing room. “Shall we have a nightcap, Michael?”
Michael watched Emma hurry up the stairs, seeing his opportunity to speak with her disappear. He scowled as he followed his grandmother in the opposite direction.
“May I pour you a sherry?” he asked.
“I would prefer something stronger.” She nodded as he lifted the decanter of brandy in question.
“Someone mentioned your broken engagement to me. Thank you for that. Soon afterward the oddest event occurred.”
“Oh?” He waited, wondering to what she referred.
“Rumor has it that Mr. Vandimer discovered Catherine on the terrace with Lord Thompson in a rather compromising position.”
He nearly spit out the drink he’d taken. “So that was what she had planned.” When his grandmother raised a brow at him, he explained. “She demanded that I meet her on the terrace at a particular time. Obviously, she still thought to proceed with our engagement and intended to have her father discover us.”
His grandmother chuckled. “But Lord Thompson joined her instead. Hoisted with her own petard, eh?”
“So it seems. We shall see if she finds herself engaged to Lord Thompson.” He ignored the small twinge of guilt he felt for his part in the drama. After all, if she hadn’t tried to trap him, she wouldn’t be in this predicament.
“Did you see Lady Callum’s gown? The color made her look like a turnip.”
They visited for a few more minutes about the ball and then she rose. “I’ll leave you to finish your drink in peace. Good night.”
He settled back in his chair after she’d left and pondered his options. In truth, there was only one. As soon as the movements upstairs quieted, he left his drink unfinished on the table and headed up the stairs as quietly as possible. Hoping Emma remained in the same room, he knocked quietly on her door.
A long moment of silence passed, making him wonder if she was with her mother or sister. Unwilling to leave without speaking to her, he raised his hand to knock again when the door opened. The look of surprise on her face was priceless.
“Michael?” His given name on her lips after the formality of the evening sent a spear of longing through him.
“May I speak with you for a moment?” he whispered. “Please,” he added when she hesitated.
“All right.” She opened the door wider to allow him in even as she tightened the belt of the thin white wrapper she wore.
She must’ve only recently retired for a candle still burned on her bedside table and her hair remained in the chignon she’d had it in at the ball. “What is it?”
“How is your family?”
“Fine. As well as can be expected, I suppose. Have you discovered anything new about who was following Patrick?”
“No, not yet, but we are still keeping watch.”
She shifted, her body silhouetted in the candlelight. Those large brown eyes full of secrets watched him, and all coherent thoughts flew from his mind. In its place was an ache so deep, he could hardly breathe. He looked away for a moment, closing his eyes as he tried to contain his desire and gather his thoughts.
“Is something wrong?” she asked, drawing closer until her sweet scent enveloped him.
Gritting his teeth, he attempted to hold back the need that filled him. He focused on saying what he wanted to say so he could escape the sweet torture of her presence. Being so close to her only made him want her more. “I wanted to advise you that my engagement has come to an end.”
Those eyes held his, deep pools of an emotion he couldn’t name. Perhaps this news meant nothing to her. Disappointment filled him at the thought.
“Because of what happened this evening on the terrace?”
He frowned, trying to grasp what she was speaking about.
“With Lord Thompson?” she added.
“No. I asked Catherine to call it off several days ago. Lord Thompson fell into a trap that I believe she had set for me.”
She frowned, hardly the reaction he was hoping for. “If anything I did caused you to—”
“Emma.” He took her hands in his to stop her apology, for he knew that was what she was going to say. “I couldn’t marry Catherine when... When I have feelings for you.”
Her hands trembled in his. “You do?”
Unable to resist, he released her hand to trail a finger along the soft line of her jaw. “I thought for so long that passion wasn’t safe. That I carry the same seeds of destruction my parents had. That if I free what I feel for you, it would lead to harm. But over the past weeks, I’ve realized there must be more to life than business agreements. I simply can’t deny how I feel when I’m with you.”
She kissed his hand that still held hers. The sweet gesture nearly buckled his knees. When she raised her eyes to meet his, they were filled with tears. “I love you.”
“Emma.” His heart soared with joy even as he realized he couldn’t say the words back to her. Those three words had been tossed about throughout his childhood, used as both a lure and a weapon. He didn’t trust himself to know what love was.
But he knew how he felt right now, in this very moment. The tender passion filling him could not be denied.
He cupped her face with his hands and kissed her, molding those soft lips to his. Desire jolted through him as she responded. Never had a kiss been so brimming with promise. As sharp as his desire was for her, he cared deeply for her as well. He eased back to rest his forehead against hers, tamping down his passion as best he could. “Will you wait for me? Wait until I am free to be with you? As much as I’m coming to dislike Catherine, I don’t want to hurt her by immediately courting you.”
She eased out of his embrace to look up at him, a frown marring her brow. “Michael, I must ask if you’re certain? I have nothing to offer you. No dowry, no chance to gain back your family’s holding. Nothing.” She shook her head. “Why would you choose me?”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Emma waited, trying to gauge Michael’s reaction, wondering if he truly cared for her. She realized he hadn’t told her he loved her, nor had he asked her to marry him. Her heart pounded with worry as his silence drew long until at last he spoke.
“I couldn’t be more certain. None of that matters. Believe me. Only you matter.”
Relief flooded her. In this moment, it was enough to know he had feelings for her.
She rose up on her toes to press a kiss on his lips. Despite his words, she couldn’t erase the trace of doubt that lingered. She didn’t deserve him and certainly had nothing to offer him. Why did he want her?
As she tried to form the words to question him further, he drew her closer, molding her thinly clad body to his. His hardness pressed against her, leaving no doubt he wanted her. Wasn’t that enough?
He tilted his head and deepened the kiss, his firm lips capturing her heart along with her lips. How could she doubt anything when he kissed her like this?
He moved to press kisses along her cheek, her ear
, then down her neck. She sighed in response, desire swirling inside her. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, her fingers tangling in the hair that brushed his collar.
“I’ll never forget the sight of you in my library,” he whispered. “I decided you were my little grey mouse. How wrong I was. You are nothing of the sort.”
She smiled up at him. “My disguise was quite effective.”
“What made you decide to don it?”
She glanced away as unwanted memories assailed her. “At my last post, the lord decided a governess should provide more than just lessons.”
The concerned expression on his face changed to anger in an instant. “Who was he? What did he do?”
“Very little before his wife discovered us.” She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Besides, in some ways, he brought me to you.”
Michael’s expression eased. “For that, I am grateful. But if you’d care to share his name, I’ll make certain he is no longer capable of bothering any governesses.”
“I believe his wife is now aware of his antics and watches him like a hawk.”
He reluctantly smiled. “I’m sure she’s more effective than anything I might do. Once again, your strength amazes me.”
“Me? You’re the one who is strong.” She ran her hands along his shoulders and down his arms, enjoying every inch of his muscled form.
“You’ve been the anchor for your family, the main support financially and emotionally, you’ve been a role model for your siblings, a sounding board for your mother, all while holding an important position.”
She blinked at the sudden moisture in her eyes, touched that he saw her that way. “You have a unique way of seeing things.”
“No. I have an objective view, thank you very much. I don’t know how you’ve done it all these years, especially with the pressure placed on you.”
“All of my family has contributed. We worked together.” She’d be nothing without them.
“I spoke with the doctor.”
She closed her eyes for a brief moment. “Michael, you’ve been far too generous.”
He waved that away. “Dr. Barnes told me of the trade you offered him. In fact, he asked if there was any chance of you returning to aid him with a new project he had in mind. He said your organizational skills were outstanding.”
“Truly?” She wasn’t certain she believed him.
“I told him you were no longer available, but I would ask if you had anyone else you’d recommend.” He gathered her close again to hold her tight. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” she asked, reveling in the feel of being held like he’d never let her go.
“For not finding you after your uncle—after we thought your uncle had passed. I came to your home, but the neighbors said you’d moved. They didn’t know where you’d gone. Then I went to the university. They didn’t know where you’d gone either, but they told me that the professor’s pension had been paid out, so I was certain you would be all right.”
“Pension? What pension?”
“Didn’t you receive payment from the university for his pension?”
“No. Nothing.”
He tipped his head back. “The professor must’ve collected that himself. I wondered where he’d obtained the money on which to live. I should’ve investigated more closely, but my parents died soon after.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” A knot loosened deep inside her. That explained so much.
“It was a difficult time for both of us, it seems.”
“All that is behind us now.”
A shadow crossed his eyes, making her wonder, but he nodded. “Yes. And we’re together now.”
He wrapped her in his arms and drew her against the hardness of his body. “I am grateful for every moment we have together, for the feel of you in my arms, for the sweet scent of you, for the softness of your skin.” He pressed his lips to hers, allowing his tongue to slide in and move with hers. “For the taste of you. I am eager to make you mine. Have no doubt. But we must wait.”
“No.” She shook her head, unable to bear the thought of delaying even one more moment, let alone weeks. Life was far too short. The future was uncertain. But this moment was so clear. She knew exactly what she wanted, what she needed. “I want to be yours now.”
“But—”
“Shh,” she murmured, pressing her finger to his lips. “If you want me, I am yours.”
“You tempt me beyond measure and leave me no choice.”
Again, he gathered her in his arms. The heat of his body felt so right. She intended to enjoy every moment of this.
She bent her head as he nibbled near her ear. The sensation was glorious. Heat spread through her from the very center of her body. She’d dreamed of this for so long. It felt as though she’d waited an eternity for it. For Michael. Oh, but the wait had been worth it. His lips sent shivers down her body.
As good as she felt, she wanted Michael to feel the same. To feel desire pulsing through his body. She wanted him to experience at least a part of what she did.
She ran her hands along his broad shoulders, amazed at his strength. Fingers trembling, she moved to his shirt, displeased with all the layers of clothing that separated them.
As though he read her mind, he unfastened his jacket and shrugged out of it, then unbuttoned his vest. The smooth linen of his shirt allowed her to feel the sculpted form of his chest and the flat plane of his stomach.
“You are so beautiful.” He glided his fingers along a strand of her hair that had come loose from her chignon. He bent his head and captured her lips once again, his tongue dancing with hers before he eased back. “Do you have any idea what you do to me?”
His words stirred her as much as his kisses. She unfastened his shirt, eager to see what she’d only guessed at. Dark hair covered his muscled chest. She couldn’t help but run her fingers over the wiry hair, surprised at its texture. A long puckered mark crossed diagonally along his stomach.
She drew back to study it. “What happened?”
“Some debris caught me the night of the accident with your uncle.”
“How terrible. That night changed so many things.”
Her exploration continued down to the rippled contours of his stomach, then the narrowness of his hips. As she brushed the back of her hand across his belly, he jerked in reaction. Pleased, she did it again.
“Emma.” He grabbed her hand and swallowed hard. “You undo me. I can only take so much before I—”
She waited but he didn’t finish the sentence. He placed her hand on his shoulder instead.
“My turn,” he whispered. With slow, gentle movements, he untied the belt of her wrapper then eased it from her shoulders. He trailed his fingers along her shoulders and down to the neckline of her nightgown, dipping lower with each pass until her nipples tightened in response. “You’re so soft.”
Luckily, he didn’t seem to expect an answer, for she wasn’t sure she could give one. The sparks alighting inside her erased her thoughts, making speech impossible. Those sparks turned to fire as he molded his hands to her torso, the fine linen of her nightgown enhancing the feel of his touch.
Her breath caught as he tugged at the ribbon holding her gown. Uncertainty filled her despite her desire. Her body was nothing like the beautiful women she’d seen at the ball, those women who were his equal. “Michael?” She placed a hand on his. “I’m not...that is to say...” She shook her head, unsure how to explain the self-doubt that filled her.
“You are beautiful. That I know.” He kissed her again. A long slow kiss that erased all her qualms. “But we will wait—”
“No.” She refused to allow her insecurities to ruin this moment when she so desperately wanted to grab it with both hands. With a deep breath, she took a tiny step back and eased the nightgown from her shoulders.
He froze, his gaze locked on the skin she’d revealed, whether from surprise or pleasure, she didn’t know. Then the thin linen fell to the floor, leavi
ng her naked before him.
“Damn me.” His softly muttered oath made her smile as he obviously liked what he saw. “So perfect in every way.”
“We should rid you of this.” She stepped forward to lift his shirt from those broad shoulders, allowing her hands to linger along the way. All those bulging muscles made her feel weak.
“Yes.” He smiled as he removed his shirt and drew her into his arms.
As his chest rubbed against her, she caught her breath. Then she moved along him once again, amazed at the sensation, at how very different they were. Her nipples tingled in response, tightening each time she brushed him.
His low growl brought her gaze up to meet his. “As I said before, you have no idea what you do to me, Emma.”
He released her to remove his shoes, then took her hand and moved toward the bed. “Though I want you so much that I’d make love with you anywhere, it would best serve us in the comfort of a bed.”
She realized what he was doing—giving her time to make sure she hadn’t changed her mind. That made her love him all the more. They neared the bed where the covers were already pulled down.
Oh, Lord. She was nervous. Though she had a basic idea of what would happen, experiencing it was another matter. She must’ve frowned for he touched the spot between her brows.
“If you’ve change your mind, you’ve only to say so. I’d be pleased to simply hold you.” He cupped her cheek then trailed his finger down her face and neck to linger on her collarbone.
She rose up on her toes and pressed her lips along his neck, then the smoothness of his shoulder as she ran her fingers through the crisp hair of his chest. Her fingers brushed his nipple and he jerked in reaction. Delighted, she did it again before lowering her hands to his waist.
Braver now, she kissed his chest and was rewarded by his soft moan. He gathered her tight and kissed her until her head spun. His hands released their hold to wander along the curves of her body, and she arched into his touch. His fingers grazed the sides of her breasts, his thumbs caressing her nipples. Liquid heat poured through her and she gasped in response. He leaned down to kiss the top of her breast, easing down toward her nipple. With a lick, then a kiss, then a gentle sucking that had her gasping in response.
Passionate Secrets (The Secrets Trilogy Book 2) Page 24