by Elena Aitken
“I have a room in the main lodge,” Megan said. She took her hand and tucked it in her pocket. Gage wanted it back. Wanted it in his hand.
“You’re moving out?”
“It’s the right thing to do,” she said. “You need to spend time with your family. You said yourself it’s been years since you’ve seen them. Besides, it’ll be easier for me to manage the details of the party if I’m staying right here. It’s not a big deal. I’ll have—“
“Megan.” He reached out to tuck a stray hair behind her ear, but aware of their surroundings and everyone who was likely watching, he shoved it back in his pocket. He thought about telling her she didn’t have to move out. About telling her he didn’t want her to. Instead, he said, “That should be interesting. How will you babysit me?” His words came out colder than he’d meant them to, and by the look on her face, she’d felt the chill, too.
"Don't worry, Gage. I can do my job just fine." She handed him an envelope. "Here are the extra keys." Megan turned to go.
"Megan, don't."
She looked over her shoulder, waiting for him to say more. When he didn't, she blinked away the hurt in her eyes and continued walking.
He watched her slip into the crowd of the busy room and wished he could call her back. But what would he say?
Behind him, his mother coughed and he was pulled back into the problem of the present. He needed to get his family set up in the suite and as far away from the media that was likely lurking all around them, waiting for a story. Well, he wasn't going to give them one. Especially not with his family.
With the help from one of the bellboys, Gage and Hannah got his mother down the path and settled comfortably in the suite. She'd been so exhausted, she'd fallen asleep almost immediately.
"I don't know how you do it," Gage said to Hannah once they were back in the living room. "You should hire a nurse. It would help."
"A nurse?" Hannah glared at him in the way that was again becoming all too familiar. Funny how you didn't forget certain things. "She's my mother, Gage."
"And mine too."
"Not that we'd know it," she fired back.
Gage sighed. It’d been a long day already and it was barely time for lunch. "Can we not do this right now, Hannah? I need to think." He rubbed his temple at the headache that sprung up the moment they'd walked into the lobby.
"What do you need to think about? Shouldn't you be getting all amped up for the party with all the celebrities and famous people? I would think you'd be in your element."
Gage slumped against the counter. "Seriously, Hannah. Why are you here? You clearly hate all this and I know you blame me for—"
"Don't say her name."
"Hannah, ignoring it doesn't make it go away. I already told you—"
"Don't apologize, Gage. We both know it means nothing. My best friend is dead because of you, and you couldn't even be bothered to come back for the funeral. Do you think that your apology meant much then? That an oversized bouquet of flowers was any kind of replacement for your actual presence?"
Her words sliced through him and hit the core of pain and hurt he'd managed to cover up and ignore for the last two years. Gage flinched but didn't try to defend himself. There was nothing to defend. Hannah was right: Lana's death was his fault and he'd done his best to stay away because of it. No one needed to be reminded of what he'd caused. It was better for everyone.
He stood up from the couch and paced for a moment. "I would take it back if I could, Hannah. All of it. I never would have taken the role if I'd known what would happen." It wasn't the first time he'd thought it, but it was the first time he'd said it out loud.
"It wasn't the movie, Gage. The movie didn't turn you into a partying, womanizing drunk." Her words hit him like a slap. "That was all you."
CHAPTER NINE
It was almost two before Megan had a chance to sit down. Being so busy was a relief, because at least if she was running around getting the party organized, she didn't have to think about Gage and the way he'd looked at her. Like he hated her.
For the life of her, she couldn't figure out why he was so angry. She hadn't invited his family, and even if she had, he should be happy. Gage said himself, only that morning, that he hadn't seen them in years. And with his mom so sick...
It didn't matter. For whatever reason, Gage wasn't happy to see them there and there didn't seem to be any question in his mind about who was responsible for their arrival.
Eva sat down next to her with two salads and put one in front of her. "You need to eat something. You haven't taken a break all day."
At the sight of food, Megan's stomach growled and she pulled the container closer. "Thank you. I didn't realize how hungry I was."
"That would be because you need to stop moving for a minute and give your body a chance to tell you these things." Eva laughed and stuck a tomato in her mouth. "What has you so fired up, anyway? The party will be great. After all, you have the best party planner in the country at your disposal."
Megan managed a smile.
"What's up, Megan?" Eva pushed. "Because I've seen anxious before, and this is more. What's going on?"
Megan shrugged. "It's an important party," is all she said.
"It is. But you've got the hottest date around. It doesn't get much better than having the star of the show on your arm."
She looked down at her salad and pushed around the lettuce with her fork for a few minutes. Megan could feel the blush starting at the roots of her hair and creeping across her face. "I'm not Gage's date," she said after a moment.
"What?" Eva dropped her fork and stared at her. "I don't believe that for a moment. I saw the two of you together, and I don't care what you say, there's something going on between you two. You can't hide that kind of chemistry."
"Well, maybe you were imagining it," Megan said. She pushed a fork full of salad into her mouth and chewed.
"Nope," Eva said. "I don't imagine that kind of thing. I'm kind of an expert on chemistry."
Megan swallowed hard. She didn't want to tell this woman, who was still a relative stranger, that judging by the way Gage had looked at her with so much contempt in his eyes, there was absolutely no way she'd be his date—or his anything—any time soon. Because if she confided in Eva, she'd have to face the truth she was trying to ignore. That despite everything, she had undeniable feelings for Gage that went further than attraction. Much further.
"Well, speak of the devil and he shall appear," Eva said, with a smile.
Megan wanted to melt into the table. She could feel him staring at her. She didn't need to look up. She couldn't look up and see the disdain in his face.
"Eva," Gage said. "I know you're busy, but I was hoping I could borrow Megan for a minute."
Still, she couldn't look up. Megan jammed a cucumber in her mouth and focused intently on her lunch as Eva said her goodbyes and slipped away, leaving them alone.
Gage sat down next to her, taking the seat Eva vacated, and the air changed. Thickened. The heat radiating off his body burned her skin through her clothes. Still, she wouldn't look at him.
"Megan," he said after a moment. His voice was softer, the anger gone. "I'm sorry."
She took a moment and absorbed what he'd said. Finally, she tilted her head and looked at him through a curtain of hair. "I didn't call them," she said.
He opened his mouth to protest, but she didn't give him the chance.
"I didn't," she said again. "Whether you believe me or not. It's the truth."
A shadow flickered across his face, but Gage nodded and said, "I believe you. I saw your face earlier, when I...well, I saw it and I knew then you hadn't done it."
Relief washed through her, but to her surprise, she didn't feel any better. His hand rested on hers and the familiar shiver flew through her at his touch.
"There's something I don't understand, though," she said. "Why weren't you happy to see them, Gage? They're your family and you acted like it was the worst thing in the world
that they're here. I don't get it."
Gage turned his hand over and cradled hers, gently stroking the pad of her thumb. "It's complicated," he said. "And I've never told anyone before."
She turned in her chair so they were facing each other, her salad forgotten. "You know you can trust me, right? You know I wouldn't tell anyone."
He laughed a little. "The funny thing is, I do know that. That's how I knew for sure you hadn't called my family. Besides me, you more than anyone don't want to give the press any ammunition."
She smiled with him, but didn't laugh. With a gentle squeeze of his hand, Megan brought his focus back to her.
Gage nodded, his laughter fading. "I told you I hadn't been back home since the movie, right?" Megan nodded. "I didn't tell you what I'd left behind. And what happened because I left." His face had turned serious, his dark eyes cloudy with memory. "My whole life I was in love with this girl, Lana."
Megan's heart squeezed with jealousy.
"At least I thought it was love," he added. "Really, it was just that it was a small town and Lana was my sister's best friend. We were together all the time growing up and then one day, we kissed. After that, it was just part of who we were. People expected us to be together and we were."
"Did you love her?" For some reason that was an important detail for Megan.
"Yes. I loved her," Gage said. "But, I wasn't in love with her."
Megan's heart unclenched a little, and she focused on what he was saying.
"I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with her in that town. I knew it wasn't right. It wasn't what I wanted. But all through high school, and even after...it was easy, and I kept waiting for it to feel right. But it never did." He took a breath and got a distant look in his eye, the memory taking him back. "I know it wasn't fair to Lana. But I was too much of a coward to end it, and then when the movie offer came, well, that seemed like a get-out-of-jail-free card, for so many reasons."
"For your mom?"
He nodded. "Definitely for her. But I'd be lying if I told you that was the only reason I took the movie." His fingers paused their stroking. "I wanted out. So I took the deal."
"Anybody would have," Megan assured him. "It was the chance of a lifetime."
"It was what I did after," Gage said. He ran his hand through his hair, tousling it. "Lana was so upset about me going. She cried and told me not to take the movie. She wanted to get married and have a family. She said we couldn't do that if I was in Hollywood. She was right of course, but instead of doing the right thing and breaking up with her, I told her we'd make it work. I was an ass."
Megan nodded; she wasn't going to let him off the hook.
"But the minute I left Indiana, I went into party mode. I'd never seen parties like that before. Booze and women everywhere, and, well, you know the rest."
"Hence the party boy reputation."
"Exactly," he agreed. "Except, I never broke up with Lana."
"But she read the papers," Megan guessed.
"How could she not?" He looked down. "I can't imagine how she felt when she read about me with all those women—some of it was even true," he added. "But it didn't matter what parts were true. She was humiliated and heartbroken, and it was my fault."
Megan stayed quiet. There was nothing she could say to that.
"Lana tried calling me, but I never returned her calls. I told myself that it was best for her, that I was doing her a favor by ending it the way I did." Megan raised an eyebrow, and he added, "I know. I was a total jerk. But it gets worse."
"My manager, Lucas, had been encouraging me for months to make it known publicly that I was single. I'd never said anything about Lana, but I'd also never said I was single. He thought it would help my image if I started dating one of my co-stars. It didn't seem to matter that we were friends, and nothing more. But, I was dumb and I went along with it. So it was at the premiere for Extinction that Jennie and I showed up arm in arm."
"I remember that," Megan said. "It was big news in the industry."
"It was. It was also big news for Lana. When she saw the report on TMZ, she lost it. Hannah was with her and said Lana was totally out of control. She drank everything she could get her hands on and then before anyone could stop her, she got in her car."
Megan brought her hands up to her face, trying in vain to cover her horror. "No."
Gage nodded, and dropped his eyes. "My sister was in the car, too. She'd tried to take Lana's keys away but couldn't. I guess she thought it would be better if she was with her. Thank God, Hannah was okay."
"And Lana?" Megan was afraid to ask.
Gage shook his head. A single tear streaked down his cheek.
"Oh, Gage. I'm so sorry." She reached out and wiped his tear with her thumb. "It's not your fault."
He grabbed her wrist, stopping her. "But it is." The intensity in his eyes chilled her. "That's the whole point. Lana never drank, and she certainly didn't drive drunk. She did it because of me. Because I was too big of an asshole to show her the respect she deserved. She's dead because of me."
"And that's why you haven't been home in two years?"
He nodded.
"Gage," Megan started. "No one blames you."
"Hannah does," he said. "She hates me. Lana was her best friend, and she had to sit by and watch as I destroyed her."
"But you're not that guy anymore," she said, and she meant it. The Gage she'd come to know was nothing like the hard partier from the media. The Gage she knew was funny and kind, and loved the outdoors. He would never intentionally hurt anyone.
"It doesn't matter, Megan."
She grabbed his arms and forced him to look at her. "It does," she said, putting as much force into her voice as she could. "It absolutely matters." She leaned over and kissed him tenderly. Just enough to let him know she cared.
"Aren't you afraid of a scandal?" he said. There was a hint of humor in his voice, but Megan shook her head seriously.
"No," she said. "This is life, and I meant it when I said it wasn't your fault. Besides, if the press was going to hear about it, they would have already."
Gage nodded and pulled her in for another kiss.
A cough behind them startled them apart and Megan turned to see Ryan watching them.
"Well, isn't this cozy," he said, with a smirk.
Gage pushed his chair back and stood, facing the man who'd interrupted them. He'd pulled away from Megan, but it felt important to retain some contact, and he didn't care who saw. "Can I help you, man?" Gage said. He knew he looked intimidating and he squared his shoulders back, facing the man head on. "This is a private conversation."
"Oh, I see that," the man said. "But I have some business with Megan."
Gage looked down at Megan.
"I work with Ryan," she said. "Gage, this is Ryan Grace." She waved her hand. "Ryan, obviously, this is Gage Mitchell."
He could tell there was more to their relationship than Megan was saying; in fact, from the way Ryan was staring at him—like he wanted to choke him with his bare hands—Gage could guess exactly what the nature of their relationship was.
"I have some work-related issues to discuss with Megan," Ryan said. He spoke to Gage but his gaze was aimed directly at Megan. "It's important."
"I'll come and find you right away, Ryan," Megan said. She got up from her chair and stood next to Gage. "I just need to finish up here."
"Oh, I think you're finished," Ryan said.
Gage bristled. "Excuse me?" He hated to use his celebrity status, but some situations called for it. "You do realize that you work for me, right, Ryan Grace?"
"Gage." Megan put a hand on his arm, no doubt meant to calm him, but the man deserved to be taken down a few pegs.
"It's fine, Megan." Ryan smoothed his palms down the front of his pants. "He has a point. The Grace Agency has been hired by Gage Mitchell and his manager, although by the looks of it, I'm not sure we've managed to do our job very well." He raised an eyebrow and Gage had the sudden urg
e to punch the smirk right off his face. There was something about the man that made his fists curl.
“I think Megan’s done a fine job,” Gage said.
“You would,” Ryan said, and if Megan hadn’t had a hand on his arm, Gage would have punched the jerk.
Megan stepped between the men. “I’ll come talk to you right away, Ryan. I was just filling Gage in on some of the details. I won’t be long.”
Ryan gave her a look that made it quite clear he didn’t believe her, but he said, “I’ll leave you two alone. I actually need to speak to my mother about a few things, anyway. It seems that maybe you haven't done such a good job keeping Mr. Mitchell here out of trouble."
Gage felt Megan stiffen next to him. “Ryan, I need to explain—“
“No, Megan,” Ryan said. He glanced between the two of them. “I don’t think you need to explain anything. I got it.”
Ryan left the room and Gage turned and took Megan by the arms. “What was that all about?”
“He’s the boss’ son,” Megan said.
“And?” He knew there was more to it.
“Ryan and I used to date.”
Gage felt a burn of jealousy in his gut. But he wasn’t surprised at the news. “You dated? Like, once or twice?” It was suddenly very important to know the details.
“Three years.”
“Three years.” The burn grew hotter. “And, why do I get the feeling the breakup was recent?” Gage turned away, trying to compose himself. He didn’t need her to see how affected he was by her news.
“Gage, I—“
“You don’t owe me an explanation,” he said, although it was the one thing he wanted most.
Megan put her hand on his arm, forcing him to turn around. “Maybe I don’t,” she said. “But I want to.”
He waited, listening.
“I ended it,” she said. “He wanted to get married and settle down, but there was something missing.”
He had the crazy urge to ask her if there was anything missing between them, but he knew it was ludicrous to even suggest such a thing.