by Alexa Davis
“Is that how she met your brother?”
“Naw. They were high school sweethearts. After he almost got blown up, and all the trouble they had when he got home, might have been the reason she started working with service dogs, though.”
I nodded absently. I didn’t need a service dog. Hell, I was lucky not to be a pet owner while I was trying to get to know Logan. Even a career change would be simpler without anyone or anything depending on me. Taking the time away was making it easier and easier to think about leaving altogether.
Some of that had to be normal vacation thinking. But Logan had me feeling I could do just about anything. I still didn’t think I could work for Doc Seale, as nice as it sounded. But I could manage more than a parks and recreation office. The door swung inward, and Logan pulled me in after him. I glanced around at the kennels and warehouse shelves all stacked a mile high with pet food and care items. Maybe I couldn’t run a pet store. Taking care of so many living things had once been my dream. Now, it was the furthest thing from my reality.
Callie’s mouth made a round “O” of surprise when Logan formally introduced us. “I remember; Scotchie’s mom, right?”
I almost cried at the nickname only I’d ever used for my old friend. It reminded of why I liked the curvy redhead so much.
She hugged Logan tight around the neck, and I reminded myself that she was family as my green-eyed monster of jealousy reared her ugly head. Instead, I focused on all the things I missed about having Butterscotch around. I’d finally boxed up all her favorite squeaky toys after a couple of months. I got tired of the crying jags I had every time I tripped over them. As soon as they were gone, I missed seeing them around the house. I scoffed at myself and ran my fingers over the little raised rubber nubs of a ball like the one I’d taught her to fetch with and noticed the conversation behind me had gone silent.
“You have that look in your eyes,” Callie remarked as she picked up a stuffed frog with braided rope for its limbs. “The look you get when you don’t hurt as much for your loss as for missing having a special friend.”
“Hey!” Logan called out from across the storage room.
I rolled my eyes at him and put the ball back in the wire basket full of toys. “I miss her, and I miss all the messes and the plates she licked clean. The one she broke when she knocked it off the counter.” I laughed, but it sounded like a sniffle, even to me.
“You work out at the Ratcliff Park, right?” Callie asked me.
“Yes, I do.”
She smiled at me. “It must be nice to be around all those wild, free animals.”
I shrugged and screwed my face up in a scowl. “I don’t get out in the park much, really. I’m always too busy with paperwork and registrations and licenses.” I laughed, without humor. “When I was working for free, I was out in nature, all day, every day. The moment I was the most qualified person in the room, I got stuffed into an office.”
She huffed. “Sounds like the reason you took the job was to escape being in an office.”
“Well, I’m a farm girl. What can I say? After my dad left, my mom kept that place running without a hitch. I got a lot of experience. Thought maybe one day I’d take over for her, if I got the chance.”
“Why wouldn’t you?”
I waved her off. “It doesn’t matter now. Mom sold the place a couple of years ago and moved into town with her girlfriend to start a gastropub.”
“Oh, my God. Callie, Heidi, get in here!” Logan called out from the next room over. I rushed to him, wondering what could have happened and skidded to a stop in front of him. In as instant, I fell off the precipice I’d been clinging to, and my heart swelled with love. Logan was standing, shirtless and hunky, with his face buried in the soft, silken fur of a tiny spaniel puppy.
I joined him by the kennel and looked down at a patient female cocker spaniel gazing up at Logan while the rest of her litter nosed around her blindly, exploring their space as best they could. I knelt by the kennel and a little, spotted creature nuzzled my fingers through the wire.
“They all need homes, if you think you might be ready in six to eight weeks,” Callie said.
I glanced at Logan, who grinned down at me.
“If she doesn’t, I’m going to, so at least one of these little cuties has a forever home.” Logan gave the little fuzz ball of snuffling warmth back to its momma, and we all watched as the puppy unerringly found food and latched on.
“Hey, Callie, we gotta go. I’m still trying to get this beauty out of the back room they stick her in back at Ratcliff, but I’m striking out. You think a helicopter ride and a fancy Austin dinner on 6th Avenue might help me seal the deal?”
I let my eyes rove over his bare torso and pursed my lips, and he held a finger up at me. “No. Okay? One day. I want one day, where you and I are just people together.” I stared at him in a pout, and he scrubbed his hand over the back of his neck. “I created a monster.”
I laughed at him. “No, you just released one.” I thought about it for a moment and tilted my head to one side. “If I get a dog and quit my job, what’s the next step?”
“From what I overheard you saying to Callie, I would suggest a trip to the ranch.” He stroked a finger along my jawline, and I shivered in response.
“The ranch, like… your family ranch?”
He nodded.
“Neat. I’ll wear my best boots.”
He laughed. “First, let’s get some aerial pictures of your park and find some missing water.”
I gasped and slapped my forehead with the palm of my hand. I had forgotten about “my park.” I hadn’t done more than gush over the prospect of seeing film from the cameras we’d set together.
Logan put his arms around me and kissed my forehead. “Yeah, I’ve been a little distracted, too. But Boyden finally got in touch with me while we were asleep, or otherwise occupied last night, and he’s got EPA and local cops ready to move.”
“Why don’t they just take care of it?”
“Because if they’re going to spend money on an investigation, there’s a paper trail a mile wide. If they get a tip and some evidence, they can act immediately, without going through certain channels, which we believe might be compromised.”
Logan hugged Callie, and she held her arms out to me afterward. I hugged her gingerly, afraid to get sweat on her, and she laughed.
“I’m grooming dogs today, Heidi. You could rub your armpits on me and it would be the best smell to end up on my clothes today.” She hugged me so tight I couldn’t breathe and then walked us to the door.
Logan reminded her to lock up after us, and I bit back a sarcastic remark. It was hard to remember sometimes that Logan wasn’t just some guy who thought he was smarter than the women around him. He was a protector. Probably like Callie’s husband.
I wanted what she had. I wanted to surround myself with the things and people I loved. She had freedom to do what she needed to be happy. I’d lived through moments I’d been told I would never get to see and instead of enjoying my freedom, I’d made myself a prisoner again. Whether Logan stuck around or not, I wasn’t going to be that person anymore. He’d opened a door I couldn’t close again.
13. Logan
Hovering over the rolling hills in the ‘copter with Heidi was like Christmas morning. She unfolded the map and laid it between us, using all the limited space of the cabin to spread it out over our laps. She pointed out the variations between the map and the park topography, ranging from the natural erosion of the land around the tributaries to not only missing water, but over a hundred acres of missing trees.
She high-fived me and reached behind her to shake the pilot by the shoulder. I requested another fly over and did what I knew best. I started taking pictures. I let her guide me and snapped everything she wanted, hundreds of photos that I had every intention of dropping en masse to Boyden’s computer for him to sort out.
“I can’t wait to get back on the ground,” she shouted at me through the headset. �
��I need to do a happy dance! I’m having so much fun, and I haven’t felt this good since…” Her face fell, and she looked out the window without finishing.
“Since when, Heidi?”
She shrugged, and I nudged her foot. “The last time I felt this good was when my dad told me I could come visit him if my screening came back clear. It did, and I think I floated home ten feet above my mom’s car.”
“What happened?”
“He changed his mind.” She turned back toward the window.
I didn’t ask any more stupid questions, but it was too late to take back the one I had asked.
Our pilot took us back to the airstrip and assured me that he’d take us up again anytime, so long as it was Heidi going up with me. He helped her with the map and offered to take her up again without me, for more pictures of “her park.” Sweetly, she declined, saying that her budget just wouldn’t cover the expense, but thanked him so profusely for offering that he and I exchanged a glance. I shrugged and took her arm as she kept chatting away, the helicopter pilot completely forgotten as she asked where we were going next.
I took her into Austin and escorted her to the back of my favorite Italian joint, sitting so I could see the front door. The waitress brought us drinks and Heidi watched me, while I watched the patrons coming and going.
“You make everything feel so cloak and dagger,” she laughed when I glanced toward the door at the sound of the bell hanging over it. “Are you always like this?”
I laughed and rocked my pint glass in my hands. “Actually, my brothers and I have played the detective game a few times. Considering none of us is a cop, or a private investigator, it probably is excessive.”
She raised an eyebrow at me.
I chuckled. “Baby brother Jackson’s done a little ‘gray-hat’ computer hacking and got himself on an FBI watch list.”
“Well, damn. If he hadn’t gotten caught, we could’ve used him to look into the local logger’s union.”
“I did think about that.”
She giggled and glanced up at me when the bell jangled at the front of the restaurant. I waved, and she peeked behind her around the edge of the booth at Boyden. He sauntered toward us in his ten-gallon hat and the giant belt buckle he wore to remind people of the records he’d set at the rodeos twenty years before.
“Hello, little lady,” he drawled as he bowed to Heidi. “You must be the park ranger Logan’s been bragging about.” He bent low over her hand and brushed his lips across the back as she stared at him, bemused.
“Well, I hope whatever he’s told you, it’s good, and it’s true,” she giggled.
I slid into the booth next to Heidi before he could get any ideas and he sat down across from us, watching the door like I had.
The chirpy blonde waitress took his order and left us to our business. I could see the novelty of the “cloak and dagger mystery tour” part of our work. She was ready to see results, and I was, too. The food came, and we were still talking about the weather and being regaled with Boyd’s stories of the good old rodeo days, before all the damage he took from those bucking broncos took him out of the game.
“…I flew so far, the clowns didn’t have to distract the bull,” he was saying as Heidi dug her fingers into my leg. “I went over the fence and landed flat on my face, knocked boots over teakettle.” He mimicked his tumble with his hands.
Heidi laughed. “At least you have a sense of humor about it.” She leaned forward and folded her hands on the table. “So how did you become part of all that you do?”
He held up a finger, and the waitress materialized by his side with a fresh pint of amber ale. “I spent time with people who still live the old ways of their people and realized just how much unnecessary damage we’re doing to our wild spaces.” He took a slug from his pint and shook his head as he set it down. “Did you know the entire Earth’s population could fit into Alaska?” Heidi shook her head, and he wagged his finger at her, nodding. “They most certainly would. So, why all the problems with housing and population and driving animals out of their homes, to… to build more subdivisions.”
Heidi sat up taller in her seat, and he knew he had her hooked. I’d had the fun of watching him lure in new activists before, but Heidi was probably more ready to save the world than old Boyd was, and I told him so.
“He just sucks all the fun out of it, doesn’t he?” Boyden asked with a wink.
I made a rude noise, and Heidi laughed.
“Nope, Mr. Grimness. Logan hasn’t ruined my fun yet, so I can’t be mean to him.”
Boyden arched his eyebrows at me, and I grinned and raised my hands in a sign of innocence.
“All righty, business it is. You took lots of pictures, didn’t you, Mr. Photographer?”
“Yes, Boyd, I did.” I held up the memory card from my camera. “You’re going to get this where it needs to go, and I’m going to take some pictures you don’t get to see.”
Boyd threw back his head and laughed, and Heidi looked at me questioningly.
“I’ll explain later,” I whispered to her.
She nodded, then gasped and shot me a glare. My old friend laughed harder, and I felt my neck get hot under my collar.
Boyd pocketed the memory card and stood to leave, tipping his hat to Heidi before walking out and leaving me to pay for his lunch.
“I thought you said he was buying us lunch?” Heidi asked as I asked for the bill.
“He has his moments,” I chuckled. “I think he showed up a couple of drinks up on us and just forgot.” She nodded then gasped.
“He didn’t drive, did he?”
I lifted her hand to my mouth and rubbed my lips over her knuckles. “Boyden Grimness doesn’t drive anywhere. He sees himself as sort of a godfather to the environment movement in Texas. He travels in style.”
She winced and nodded. “I can only imagine. So, when were you planning on taking pictures Boyd doesn’t get to see?”
“Don’t get me wrong. I don’t plan on anyone seeing them. Unless they’re just that good, and we have to put them in an art show.”
She pretended to smack my arm.
“I lost sight of the goal already once because of you, damn it. I need to see this finished before I lose another week to our… sexcapades.”
She blushed. “We’re going to go visit Honey. I got a message from Doc Seale’s tech that we can take him back to his mom now.”
“Why don’t we just go tomorrow?” I asked her.
“Because I can’t think of any other reason to stay out of your bed for ten minutes,” she chuckled.
“Technically, it’s your bed, but I know that you’re saying,” I countered, and she made a sound of frustration. “Right. We’re going to get Honey back to his mom, and I’ll take you to the ranch.”
“Is that it then? You took some pictures, and that’s the end of it?”
I shrugged and handed her my other memory card. “What would you like to do?”
“I’d see this through, and finish it.”
I nodded and pointed to the memory card. “Right there is everything I took today. But I’m a photographer. This is my part. Boyd’s already lined up a job for me up north, working the oil spills. I’m sorry that isn’t as heroic as you’d like.”
She flinched, and the color drained from her face. “I think what you do is amazing. I guess I was hoping there’d be a job for me.” She pocketed the memory card and sipped from her drink.
I felt like an ass, asking her to be brave, leave what she knew for something better. Only I hadn’t given any thought to what that “something better” was supposed to be.
We left the restaurant, arm in arm, the way we’d gone in. But something had changed. I hoped I could convince her that coming with me to the north end of the Mississippi for more photography was worth her time. I knew she wanted to help Boyd more. I just didn’t trust him to keep his hands to himself and not end up at the wrong end of my fists.
“Come to the ranch with me. You’
ve got a little time left. We’ll bring Honey home to his mom and go up for a big barbeque.” Saliva poured into my mouth, thinking about Patty’s cooking.
“I don’t know. If I go to meet your family, won’t it make all of this,” she gestured at me then back to her own chest, “feel pretty serious?” Her bottom lip slid between her teeth, and she nibbled at it. Her face pulled into a small frown, and I let the subject drop. I was the first man she’d been with. My gut clenched at the thought of another man touching her. Patience wasn’t a virtue I claimed when I wasn’t behind the lens of my camera.
Heidi was right. She’d hidden away from life because it had let her down. How was hiding behind a camera any different?
“What would you like to do, Heidi? What’s your dream, when you aren’t just trying to get out of some ugly back office of a visitor’s center?”
She laughed and swung my hand. “Okay. So, this is only when I have the money, and I’ll be saving up for another, you know, few years before it happens. But I’m going to buy a hobby farm. Fifty acres, some horses, goats, a few head of cattle…” She shrugged. “I guess that sounds dumb to you, after everything you’ve done to get away from that life.”
I laughed. She was right. I’d run away from the ranch my entire adult life. I loved traveling the world, never knowing where I was going to be from one month to the next. I always thought if I met the one, I’d know because she embodied the life I’d chosen. Instead, I was surer than ever that Heidi was all I needed. I would’ve sworn that Lago Colina Ranch was laughing at me. I’d promised I’d never be like my brother Danny, a rancher in an age where no one respected the hard life of a cattleman.
The life that Heidi wanted… The life I could give her… I jangled the keys in my hand and thought about the circle that my life had become, bringing me right back to where I started, and I laughed aloud.
“Let’s go see Honey, the poor fawn you emasculated before he was old enough to defend himself.”