by Sable Sylvan
Natalie really could not care less. All she could think about was Randal. Over the last two weeks, she had tried to get her mind off of him. Nothing had worked. She’d read books, played video games, watched TV, taken walks, gone to the gym, gone out with friends. Nothing, nada, zilch. She was still absolutely, totally, entirely enamored with the man she knew was no good for her.
“Are you excited for tonight?” Natalie forced herself to ask Diane. She had to make small-talk. This night wasn’t about her and her breakup, after all. Diane had been at her door with a pint of mint-chocolate-chip ice cream the moment she saw her relationship status on social media go from “Engaged” to “Single.” The least Natalie could do was pretend to be okay.
“Girl, you’re the one who should be excited,” said Diane. “Although, I’m guessing from the look on your face, that tigers aren’t your type?”
“Ugh, I don’t think I’ll find anyone at Bear Buns,” said Natalie.
“Give it a chance,” insisted Diane.
“A chance to let my heart get lost again?” said Natalie. “No frikkin’ way. Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice…”
“…And still, shame on them,” said Diane, putting Natalie’s hand in hers and rubbing it gently. “Honey, you did nothing wrong. The only wrong move you can make? Not trusting fate to bring you close to someone that’ll bring you happiness in the future. I guarantee you will find someone. You just have to let fate drop them into your lap.”
“What makes you so sure?” asked Natalie.
“Look at Jacob and me,” said Diane. “After I got dumped by that guy, Aziz, I never thought I’d find love again. But if I hadn’t given Jacob a chance? Well, then we wouldn’t be here right now, in a car, on the way to Bear Buns, where hopefully, someone’s gonna find their special someone.”
“Bear Buns, what a joke,” said Natalie. “No offense to Jacob, I know this is one of his many special presents to you, but…the premise of Bear Buns is so stupid!”
“There are dozens of couples and trios that have met at Bear Buns,” said Diane.
“Right, but, compare that to the number of people that go to the shows,” said Natalie. “Not all of them walk out of their with a fated mate.”
“So you do believe in fate?” asked Diane, a twinkle in her eye.
Natalie sighed and leaned back, before sitting back up to take a sip from her flute.
“I don’t know anymore,” said Natalie. “I really don’t.”
“Everything we do, it’s fated,” said Diane. “But fate can only bring you so far. You have to be willing to bare your soul, to be vulnerable, in order…”
“…To be hurt?” asked Natalie.
“No, silly,” said Diane. She put her hand on Natalie’s chest. “To be loved.”
“Jeeze Louise, I remember when you were a party girl, but now, you’re a philosopher?” asked Natalie sarcastically and rhetorically.
“Love changes people,” said Diane. “Usually for the better. But sometimes, we’ve gotta change for love.”
“I’d never change for a guy,” said Natalie. “No way, no how.”
“I’m not talking about changing for a man,” said Diane. “I’m talking about changing for love, so that you are strong enough to allow yourself to be vulnerable, so that you’re proud enough to be honest about what you want, so that you are confident enough to know your worth…and by that point, you’ll realize that fate might not play with dice, but that some of this is a numbers game.”
“What do you mean?” asked Natalie. “Color me intrigued.”
“Is everyone who goes to Bear Buns looking for their fated mate?” asked Diane.
“Yeah, of course,” said Natalie.
“Wrong,” said Diane. “What about me? What about Kate, who already has a boyfriend? Girls like Kate and me are gonna be there, and they aren’t eligible. What about the girls who go who aren’t into dudes? What about gals that go just to watch the show? Every day, you pass by dozens, hundreds, thousands of people on the streets of Seattle. But, at Bear Buns, you have eligible men, showing off their mate marks, looking for their special someone. Your chances of finding someone at Bear Buns might be slim…but they’re higher than the chances of finding someone while sitting at home eating potato chips and watching reality TV. So give the night a chance, and it might give you a chance.”
“Okay, I concede,” said Natalie. “You have me convinced. And Diane?”
“Yeah?” asked Diane.
“Jacob really must be perfect for you,” said Natalie. “No offense, but you seem so different now.”
“Different’s good,” said Diane. “Now get the heck outta my limo.”
“What?” asked Natalie. “Oh, of course, we’re here.”
Natalie and the gals got out of the car. There was a crowd gathered in front of Bear Buns lined up for tickets to the many shows that were on that Friday night. A large movie-theater style marquee read, ‘The Twelve Dancing Bears Ft. Bruce + Zach’, and along the walkway up to the entrance, where there were shirtless men ready to take their tickets, were posters for the various acts. While the dancers from the smaller acts had to share a poster, the members of ‘The Twelve Dancing Bears’ only shared their poster with their dance partner, so there were six gorgeous posters leading up the walkway, with a pair of shirtless men on each.
Natalie looked at the first poster. It was a poster of some grizzlies, green with brass details, but the men and their shifts…they didn’t awaken anything inside of her.
“You like what you see?” asked Diane, looping her arm into Natalie’s left arm.
Natalie turned and looked at her friend. Diane was in a lacy white sequin dress that looked like a Halloween costume of a bride, with a silver and rhinestone tiara, a pale blue sash across her chest reading ‘Bride-To-Be’ in white rhinestones that shone rainbow in the warm lights of the Bear Buns poster path.
“Nah, grizzlies, not my type, and by now, I’d know, given that we live, well…here,” admitted Natalie.
“Okay, what about these polars?” asked Diane, pointing to a sky blue poster featuring icy silver details and pale men with giant white furry bears.
“Polars? Too cold for me,” said Natalie. “I love the beach, not the snow.”
“Black bears?” asked Diane, pointing to a synthwave-inspired poster with aqua and pink and silver details, featuring two tall, broad, dark and handsome shifters and their shifts.
“Aren’t those two dancers snooty, from rich families?” asked Natalie. “No frikkin’ way. I want some down-to-earth guys.”
“Okay, cinnamon bears?” asked Diane, gesturing to a poster that was Marionberry purple with gold details.
“Too fiery,” said Natalie. “Plus, they’re basically just grizzlies, right?”
“You’re hard to please,” said Diane. “It’s obvious nothing from North America appeals to you. What about pandas?” Diane gestured to a red poster featuring golden details and two yellow-toned golden gods with their panda shifts on the bottom half of the poster.
“Pandas?” asked Natalie. “It reminds me too much of that song.”
“These dudes are gorgeous, though,” said Diane. “If I was single…”
“Hey,” said Natalie. “Well, you’re not single. And they are hot, but…I just don’t feel anything for any of these sexy bods. I told you, I won’t find my true love at a frikkin’ strip club.” Natalie started to turn away and walk towards the ticket taker.
“Hey, there’s one last poster to look at,” said Diane, pulling her friend back and spinning her so she had to face the last poster.
Natalie looked over the poster. The poster was royal blue, but it made her think of warm beaches and deep blue oceans as dark and shiny as sapphires. There was a city, but it reminded her not of Seattle, but the way that cities looked as she entered them when she flew into a new city: vast but small, making her feel big, feel brave. And on the poster were two figures that made her feel something else that she shouldn’t rationally f
eel, something she could only describe as a lust that didn’t feel sinful, but just felt right.
Two men, with rippling abs, firm arms, and tanned skin, beckoned her. Their faces were shrouded from view, but it was evident from their dance shorts and shifts that they were Australian. Down under the men were two koalas, one brownish-grey and one charcoal gray, and koala shifters were native to Australia. On top, there was text, and it was white, outlined in red. That’s when it hit Natalie: the poster was done in the colors of the Australian flag, with the white and red details like the stripes on the Union Jack. The Union Jack was featured on the hotpants the men were wearing, which weren’t sequin-covered like the hotpants on the other dancers. Where were the Southern Cross and the other stars from the flag? Natalie couldn’t help but smile as she had a naughty thought…what if they were on the back, on the koalas’ bear buns?
“See something you like?” asked Diane.
“I…” started Natalie, ready to come up with something sassy, but nothing came out. She frowned. Usually, the sass flowed free, but she couldn’t think of anything negative to say about the poster.
“Well, you can ogle them later,” said Diane. “Live. On stage.”
Diane dragged Natalie away from the poster and into the VIP line with Natalie so that the bachelorette party could be seated. Because Jacob had purchased Diane a VIP bachelorette package, they were given a personal escort and assistant in the form of two tiger shifters, the one from the limo and his dance partner.
They were ushered into the crowded dance hall, to a special VIP section, where a large table awaited the party. The table was surrounded by men who were shirtless, wearing only black shimmer hot pants, who were carrying trays of drinks and snacks, so as to leave the table free. Of course, the table had to be left free, because it had a large strip pole that went from the ceiling to the firmly rooted table. Around the table were comfy high-backed chairs, arranged so that everyone could always see the stage. The tigers pulled the chairs out for everyone, both pulling out the special bachelorette chair, which was decorated with flowers, for Diane. The bachelorette chair was in the center of the chairs, naturally. The tigers then moved and one by one, pulled the chairs out, from center to ends.
Natalie tried to take a seat near Diane, but Diane put a hand on her shoulder.
“No, you’re sitting over there,” said Diane, pointing to the last chair.
“Oh…alright,” said Natalie, backing off as she looked. The chair Diane pointed it at was the end chair, but it was close to the VIP exit that led to the stage. Was Diane trying to give her a better view of the show, or had she taken up too much of her friend’s time in the limo and the poster alley?
Natalie sat in her assigned seat. She peeked over at Diane, who was talking with other people. The two people to the left of Natalie were talking about work, and Natalie didn’t work with them. One of the tigers was beckoned over by Diane, and Diane whispered in his ear and pointed towards Natalie.
Okay…Diane was definitely up to something.
Before Natalie could ask her friend what the heck was going on, the background music was turned down, the lights flickered, and the crowd started clapping. The show was about to start, and the audience couldn’t wait to see some Bear Buns.
The DJ turned on his mic.
“Welcome to Bear Buns, ladies,” said the DJ. “How many of you are here tonight because you wanna be well-behaved?”
Crickets.
“How many of you are here…because you have nothing to do?”
Silence.
“Alright, alright…tough crowd, but, how many of you are here because you’re ready to misbehave?” asked the DJ.
The crowd cheered.
“How many of you are here because you’re ready…to see some bare buns?” asked the DJ.
The crowd hooted and hollered.
“That’s right, ladies,” said the DJ. “Tonight, you’re seeing a very special show. For the first time ever, on this stage, you’ll get to see our two newest members, a pair of pandas, strut their stuff…and bare their buns. Of course, we’re opening with our koalas. They’ve got a very special treat in store for you, as do all our bears. If you’ve seen the show before, get ready to see some stuff that no audience has ever seen before. Forget whatever you thought you knew about Bear Buns…and put your hands together for Bruce and Zach!”
The crowd clapped, and Natalie joined in. Tonight was a special night, and while she’d seen some shaky videos of the Bear Buns club taken on cell phones, she had no clue what she was in store for. The club wasn’t as sketchy as she thought it would be, and she’d been treated like a princess so far, so who knew? There was no way she would find her true love there, but she would have a good time.
The stage’s red velvet curtains parted, revealing a backdrop that had an image projected onto it. The image was of a large rock that Natalie couldn’t name for the life of her, against a brilliant blue sky, with savannah grass coming from the rock towards the camera. There were three large wooden crates on the stage, marked ‘Bear Buns’ in black stencil letters. The music stopped playing, and a voice spoke.
“A show? At this hour?” said a smooth voice with a slight accent. “Well…I’m not sure if I can come up with something. You say they want to see…some koalas?”
The crowd roared.
“Koalas…koalas…well, I think I might have one to show them,” said the voice, and from the side of the stage came a man wearing all khaki. He had on a short sleeve button up shirt and shorts, both khaki. He had on a brown leather belt and flip-flops, and on his shirt pocket, there was a black mic.
Tall, handsome, with dark brown hair, he had good looks that looked like they belonged in Milan, not on the Bear Buns stage. When Natalie had heard that the koalas were the most senior members of the revue, she’d assumed they’d be a lot older, but the man on stage looked to be around her age…and around her type. He had bulging muscles that pressed against the usually loose zookeeper uniform.
And in his arms? There was a small furry creature, which from her angle, looked like a cat. Its face and legs were curled up into the man’s chest.
“Hello, ladies,” said the man, walking out to the crates and sitting down. “I heard y’all like bears. So, I thought it only right to introduce myself. My name’s Zachary, but you can call me Zach, and here? Well, this is my friend Bruce.”
On cue, the furry animal turned its face to the crowd. It had two large furry ears, like a hairy mini-elephant, and two big beady black eyes. Its nose was long and looked like a giant fuzzy black bean. There was no mistaking the animal for anything but a koala.
And he was a-frikkin’-dorable.
“What’s that, buddy?” Zach asked Bruce.
Bruce made a low sound that sounded like a growl, then a hiccup, then a bark. Natalie couldn’t help but laugh. Koalas looked so cute and small, but Bruce sounded like an elephant mixed with a bear mixed with a fox.
“You see a friend of yours in the audience?” Zach asked Bruce. “And…you wanna bring her on stage?”
The crowd roared as Bruce nodded, and a mini spotlight followed Bruce as he walked over to one of the support columns on the stage. Bruce wiggled his little koala butt for the crowd and then got onto the column and started climbing. The koala crawled on the ceiling, and everyone cheered, while the koala made its way over to the VIP section. Natalie could see what this section offered a special experience.
Then, the koala did something Natalie didn’t expect but in hindsight, should’ve seen coming.
The koala latched onto the pole that was on the table and started to slide down the pole. The crowd went nuts, but Natalie couldn’t believe the next thing she saw.
The koala, in front of her very eyes, shifted, into the shape of a handsome man with ashy blonde hair…and this man? He was stark raving nude, and she was face to face with his brilliant grey-blue eyes.
The man was on the table, crouching, his face near hers like a lion facing its prey. He mov
ed his face forward, and unable to help herself, Natalie prepared for a kiss…
…But the koala had faked her out! He wasn’t trying to kiss her. No, one of the assistants had a bunch of eucalyptus in his hand, and the koala had munched some off of the stalk that the sexy assistant was holding out.
Natalie turned bright red. Had anyone seen her lick her lips, ready for his kiss? The koala got off the table, his twig and berries out and open for the world to see, taking in the applause and shimmying over to the lady of the evening, the bachelorette, Diane. He rode her lap for the crowd and giving her a kiss on the cheek, before getting back onto the table, spinning on the pole, dismounting, and, in one quick motion, picking Natalie up and putting her over his shoulder to carry her to the stage.
One moment, Natalie was watching Bruce do his stuff, and the next, she was like a woman being snatched by a caveman, slung over his shoulders. If it had been anyone else, she would’ve said something, but it was a hot hunk who she felt some strange connection for, so she let it happen.
Bruce put Natalie down on the third box. Before Natalie could get a good look at Bruce’s chest (as he had been moving too quickly for her to see his mate mark before), Bruce had leaped up into the air and into Zach’s arms, turning into a koala during his airborne somersault. The crowd, naturally, went frikkin’ nuts.
“Bruce, that’s no way to treat your friends,” said Zach, and Natalie and the crowd laughed. Zach unclipped his mic and held it out. “What’s your name, miss?”
“Natalie,” said Natalie, speaking into the mic. She could smell Zach from where she was sitting. He smelled abso-frikkin’-lutely delicious.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Natalie,” said Zach, holding out his hand.
Natalie took his hand and shook it. Zach’s grip was strong, protective. She forced herself to let go of him even though she wanted to keep holding onto his rugged, tanned body. Up close, she could see that Zach’s eyes were honey-amber, and they reminded her of the sea.