Live & Learn ~ A Miss Independent Novel

by Kiki Leach

  He moved his hands around her body and almost gave in to the sweetest temptation ever presented to him, but stopped himself. “To make love to me,” he started, “you have to be in love with me. Otherwise I’m just having sex with someone who needs to get laid and nothing more than that. I’ve been there before, as the guy who just wants to get laid, and I don’t ever want to go there again, and not with you – the shoe being on the other foot this time.” He reached around and removed her hands from him.

  She kept them in the air at a stillness and frowned. “Um. Okay, I am confused as to where the hell all of this is even coming from. If I recall even moderately correctly, you had absolutely no problem almost having sex with me in my office today. In fact, you’ve had no problems whatsoever with trying to get into my panties since the very second I told you that I was ready to be with you in every physical way possible!”

  “I know that,” he said.

  “Then what has changed in, oh I don’t know, less than six hours?”

  “This conversation. And what you said.”

  “What I said?” She pushed her brows together. “What the hell are you even talking about?”

  “I’m talking about…” He sighed and backed away from her, leaning against the counter behind him and placing a hand on his chest. “I would be making love to you, Vanessa, I’ve always known that – I’ve always said that. Because it is all I would ever do in that sense when it came to you, and to this. But I could never say the same for you and even though it was something I always knew, it didn’t really hit me until just now. You want to be with me physically, and I accepted a long time ago that no matter the conditions, if you were willing to go there, then I was willing to take whatever you allowed me to, free of charge. I can’t resist what you present to me, I never could. Kryptonite, remember.” He stopped. “But now I’m starting to think back on how you referred to it before, as ‘screw’ or ‘sex’ – never making love, which is how it should be with us.”

  “Okay, but I’m saying it now.”

  “Which is the point,” he told her.

  She took a moment to think and closed her eyes. “Oh.” She exhaled and took a single step forward. “Mo, I didn’t say it before because I couldn’t. I’m saying it now because I am in love with you now. It isn’t just because I had a bad day or because I need to get laid.” She thought for a moment. “Okay, that might be a little bit of it because it’s been a long time for me and you know that. But it’s not the entirety, and that is the most important thing in this situation. I am in love with you, Maurice.”

  “Now. You said, now.”

  “Because, I…” She raised and then lowered her arm, slapping it against her leg. “I wasn’t in love with you before tonight.”

  His eyes widened and his mouth fell open. His heart sank to the acid in the pit of his stomach and he leaned away from her. “Wow.”

  “No, that’s not what I meant… not like that.” She scratched the side of her head and tried to think of something that wouldn’t be off-putting. “I have always had a place in my heart for you, and I have always loved you as my friend. But it changed, and that change scared the ever loving shit out of me because I knew what came with it. That is why I couldn’t be in love with you before now, I couldn’t. Even as we moved things forward…” She paused to continue thinking. “Look, you know exactly where my heart was before all of this and that it took a lot of time to move past what happened. I needed to stop being so damn bitter and angry and so full of hatred with myself and with other people to be with you completely. I needed to be whole and healthy all on my own before we really moved forward and took things to another level. And to make sure that I was okay because I was serious at making this thing real between us, and I knew that you were too.”

  “This thing?”

  “Yes, this ‘thing’, whatever the hell it was. I didn’t know what to say at the time – I didn’t know what to call it because I couldn’t explain it or how I felt, but I know now that I am in love with you, Maurice Livingston. I’m in a love so deep, I’m afraid to pull myself out of it because I don’t know what’s on the other side of it and I don’t think I ever want to. Maybe a part of me has always been this deep with you and I didn’t know it or ignored it, which is why I could never seem to cut you out of my life. Even between all the women you often paraded throughout my house and--”

  “Stop.” He waved his hand at her. “Just stop. Because they don’t equate to my feelings for you, they never have. They were accessible, time wasters who gave companionship when you didn’t.”

  “I know that now. I knew it then too, but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t feel a little bit put out and repulsed every time I would wake up and see one of them coming from or hanging around outside of your bedroom.”

  He made a face. “I hate to say it like this, but that’s how I felt every time you said a word about Nathan, good or bad, when I was sitting right there waiting for you to see me as more than just your convenient, ‘good looking friend’.”

  She smiled. “My good looking friend.” She placed her hand on his face and glided it down to the front of his chest. “You are more than that to me. You always have been.”

  “I know,” he told her. She looked at him with slight disbelief. “I did. But it’s nice to finally hear it, and to know that what I’ve always been certain of is actually true.” He cradled her face in his hands and stared at her, taking in every feature, marveling at how beautiful she was. He rubbed her cheeks with his thumbs and bent down to softly kiss her. She almost collapsed at how he chose to move his lips and use his tongue. She dropped her hands down to his sides and slid them around his back, tugging on his shirt.

  “Make love to me,” she whispered against his lips.

  He smiled wide, unable to continue kissing her, though he tried like hell to keep his lips on hers. “Gladly.”

  When they reached her bedroom, she closed the door and rested her hand on the frame, sliding her fingers down to the knob and twisting the lock. She knew that even if they were alone now, there was a possibility that they may not be for long. She didn’t want to take chances, knowing that she needed to relish in this feeling and moment for all it was worth, with a man who thought her worthy enough to worship from afar.

  He came up behind and placed a hand at her back. His fingers crossed the zipper and she lifted her arm around her neck to move her hair to the side, giving him full permission to unleash her. He suddenly became nervous then, his hands began to shake. He finally had his heart’s desire waiting and willing to take him at his own convenience. It was something he had dreamed of since they were young – something he never believed to become a reality once they didn’t work out the first time, but something he always hoped would become true. Her eyes crinkled in a bit of delight at his nervousness. But she waited patiently for him, fearing if they rushed through everything that all the precious moments in between would be lost. Part of her liked that he was anxious, because she knew how much it meant to him and that he wouldn’t take it, or her for granted.

  He pulled his hand back and balled it into a fist. He closed his eyes and gulped, breathing in and out through his nose to calm himself and regain composure. Once he finally had, he stepped closer and breathed out on her neck. Her lids fell shut when she felt his warmth. Her heartrate increased, her palms began to sweat. She was starting to become just as nervous as he was. The expectations were so high. What if he didn’t like what she had to offer?

  He wrapped two fingers around the zipper and steadily lowered it down her back, peeling off either side of the dress as if he were gently tearing it from the vine of forbidden fruit. As it dropped to her feet, he stepped back to admire her from behind – memorizing the shape of every curve, every flaw, and birthmark. It was the first time he had actually seen what he had been denied for so many years, and was relieved in finally knowing that she was every bit the fantasy he had ever imagined her to be, and more. Her smooth brown skin practically glowed beneat
h the moonlight that shown through her windows; he was desperate to taste it. She took her time in turning around to face him and stepped out of her dress, kicking it to the side. She sank her teeth into her bottom lip and moved closer to him, admiring his dick as it bulged against the creases of his pants. Her lips curved up in knowing that his seeing her like this is what had done it to him in just a matter of seconds. She was indeed his kryptonite, just as he had always said and she knew it; but she had never completely grasped how much she affected him until now.

  She reached for the top button of his shirt and worked her way down as he stared at her, both in admiration and fear that he wouldn’t live up to her expectations of him. He knew that he was good in bed, there was never a question of that; but he always dreaded in the back of his mind, no matter what he had always known about them, that he might never live up to the hopes she had in her head of what he could do.

  She opened his shirt wide and ran her hands down the front of his body. He was built like a Greek God – made from stone but felt like silk. Her fingers circled his belly button and glided over the soft hairs that led to his pants. She looked up into his eyes with a craving she hadn’t felt before this very second and began to unbuckle them. A smirk played on the edges of his lips as he watched her. When she lowered the zipper, his pants fell. She moved her hands to his shoulders and slid them down his arms to remove his shirt. Like a feather, it floated with ease to the floor. They stood with each other in near rapture – anxious at what to expect, captivated by one another’s bodies, breathing heavy before anything had even begun.

  Maurice raised a hand to her breasts and glided his finger back and forth across the top of each one. Her nipples arose inside her bra. He smiled in appreciation that what she felt for him was genuine and leaned forward to kiss the center of her throat. She lifted her head toward the ceiling, releasing a shaky breath. As he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her closer to him, close enough that they could feel each other’s rapid heartbeats, she completely fell into her feelings for him and placed a hand at his back and the other on his neck. She crawled her fingers into his hair and they held one another for a few minutes, fully embracing what they were about to do.

  She cupped her hand and glided it down his back until she reached his briefs. She pulled at them, gently, until she could feel the top of his ass pressing against her fingers. It was so soft and felt so ripe. Her tongue became heavy at the desire of tasting it. He slid his hands down and held her entire ass in both of them. She softly whimpered in finally feeling him there, skin to skin. She kissed the side of his face and breathed out. He puckered his brows and turned to kiss her lips.

  Both of her hands were in his hair now. She lifted to her toes as his tongue thrust deeper and deeper into her mouth. He dropped his hands around her bra and took his time to unhook both rows. She raised the corners of her lips, knowing he wanted to savor as much time in doing so as he could. He brought down each strap against her arms, still kissing her; she lowered them so that it could drop to the floor and once she was bare, he yanked her to him. The heavy breathing increased, the air around them grew warmer, thicker in the heat. He pulled back a little to run his hands over her breasts, cupping them and feeling as each nipple grew in size the longer he held onto them. Her tongue darted in and out of his mouth as she ran her fingers alongside the rim of his briefs again. She lowered them until his dick was released and stopped kissing him long enough to look down at it, gasping with delight at the size and width.

  “My God.”

  “Maurice will do fine,” he said.

  She snickered. “Shut up.”

  He pulled her to him again while she tried to simultaneously lower his briefs even further to the floor, using her toes to bring them down to his ankles. He stepped out of them and as she enfolded her arms around him, he slipped his hand inside her panties and pressed it against her pussy. She stopped mid-kiss and threw her head back at the unexpected feeling of euphoria that had overcome her. It was like taking an illicit drug the first time. The warmth of his hand almost made her come right then and there. He slid his finger near her clit and fondled the opening of where he had planned to put his dick, eager in knowing how wet she had gotten for him. He lowered her panties to the floor and dropped to his knees before her. Her nerves jumped as he stared back at her, a sly grin developing on his lips.

  “What are you going to do--?” She barely had a chance to finish her sentence

  Maurice placed his hands on her thighs, spreading them and moved his face between, opening his mouth to French kiss her pussy. She rested her hand on top of his head, her fingers slowly gliding throughout his hair, her mouth falling open as her head fell back; she breathed in and out, the hot air making her tongue stick against the roof of her mouth. She wanted to scream out in pleasure as he licked and bit her clit, but could barely manage to think with even a bit of coherence. When he felt her shaking against him to the point of falling over, he moved his hands around to her ass to keep her in place. As he plunged his tongue even further inside of her, she lowered her chin to her chest, feeling drunk from the sensation to her body and looked down at him. She slid her fingers beneath his face and saw the glisten on his lips as she lifted his head to meet his eyes. They glowed with an exuberance she had never seen before from anyone. Without thinking, she ran her thumb over his mouth and placed it on her tongue, tasting herself.

  She slowly drew her finger from between her lips and he stood up to kiss her again. She dug her nails into him and he walked her toward the bed, falling on top of her – his excitement at finally having his heart’s desire managing to get the best of him. She laughed aloud, reminded of the time spent in her office earlier that day. As his dick bounced between her thighs, she felt the head of it rubbing against her pussy, and her laughs quickly turned to soft moans. They moved even further back onto the bed in unison and continued kissing, caressing and enjoying the pleasures of each other’s time and company. He moved his lips down to her breasts, his tongue circling her nipples as they rose even higher at the cool air of his breath.

  She raised her leg around his waist and crawled her fingers up and down his back, delighting in the softness of his perfect olive skin. He began to push himself inside of her and she tensed, but tried releasing it so that she wouldn’t feel an ounce of pain, only pleasure, only desire, only him is what she wanted to feel.

  “Just relax,” he told her, feeling the tension as she stiffened against him. “Just relax. You know I’ll take care of you, V. I always have.”

  “I know,” she breathed.

  “Are you ready?”

  “Wait.” She pulled a condom from the drawer of her nightstand, handing it to him. He ripped the wrapper with his teeth and slid it on, then took her into his arms again.

  “Now,” he said with a smile, “are you ready?”

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  He took hold of his shaft and she held her breath, only relaxing when he stopped for just a few seconds before going further. She lifted her leg higher to help him and he brought his hand down, sliding it up her ass and bringing her closer to him as he pushed himself in deeper, unconsciously searching for and reaching her G spot. The excitement she felt as he moved against her couldn’t have been matched or measured by anything she had ever experienced before, with anyone. He kissed her throat and moved up to her lips. She wrapped her other leg around him and he moved his hands around her waist, bouncing her against him. She called his name out in a gentle whisper and he groaned in deep pleasure at the gratified sound her voice made.

  He lifted her a little so that she could get the full measure of him and she rolled her eyes into her head as she felt the expansion of his dick inside of her. She held onto him for dear life as the passion between them intensified; it was as if she were seated at the front of a rollercoaster ride and feared flying headfirst onto the railings at any second. He kissed and stroked her breasts. She brought her hands down to his balls and held them in her hands. He
tensed a little, arching his back as he pumped harder and harder into her. She yelled out, begging for more. And when he gave it to her, she all but cried in jubilation.

  They continued for another few hours until exhaustion finally set in. Her hair was soaked with sweat, as was his skin. She beamed with sheer joy as she lay beside him, the sheets barely covering their bodies as the heat which had engulfed the entire room was damn near suffocating them by now – still pleasurable, but suffocating.

  Maurice rolled over on his side to stare at her. He rested his head in the palm of his hand and moved a strand of hair from her face. She looked over at him; he appeared flushed with a fever. She lay the back of her hand against his cheek and dragged it down to his throat and shoulder.

  “That thing you did with your tongue,” he said, a grin forming, “where the hell did you learn to do something like that?”

  “I don’t know.” She raised her hands above her head. “I don’t know, maybe I saw it in a movie once or something.”

  “Whatever it was, we need to watch it again together. I didn’t know you had it in you to do something like that.”

  “I didn’t either, I don’t think.” She lifted her hair up over the pillow. “At least not anymore. But you make me want to try again, to be that spontaneous person I was before shit hit the fan. I long to be that again.”

  “You long for it, huh?”

  “Yeah, I long for it.” She giggled and rolled the sheet below her waist to give herself more breathing room. Maurice placed his fingers at the center of her chest and danced them around her breasts.

  He gazed into her eyes and suddenly became insecure, even as tiny bumps formed on her skin the longer he touched her. “Was it everything you wanted?” he asked her in a low voice, almost hoping that she wouldn’t hear. “Was it more, less?”