by fox, angie
She drew a polished fingernail down Marc’s arm. I expected him to step away, but he stood there and took it, almost acted like he enjoyed it. What the hell?
It sliced me to the core to be this close, yet have to act like I didn’t even know him. Then watch her touch him on top of it.
I had no idea what was going on with her—or why he wasn’t breaking her immortal arm. Sure, I’d shot him, but he was the one who’d thrown himself so willingly at death. He’d stood in front of that gun, knowing it was coming. Now after he’d just put me through hell thinking he was dead—again—he had the gall to flirt with another woman in front of me?
Unbelievable. I crossed my arms over my chest. If this was his way of getting back at me because he’d found out I’d dated when he hadn’t, he could bite me.
Nerthus turned sour when she looked at me. “This is your lab?”
“Yes.” It was a dump, but it was the best I could do on my own.
Nose wrinkled, she strode down the aisle between my cafeteria-style lab table and the desk.
Meanwhile Argus started pawing through the research notes on my desk. I stifled the urge to snatch them back. It’s not like he knew what he was looking at. Worse, he was getting them all out of order.
Nerthus peered at my ethanol test like it was a dead rat. Holy hell. It was about to boil over. Hands shaking, I hurried over to my workstation and flipped the burner off.
Marc donned my thick rubberized gloves and moved my caustic sample over to my cooling rack like he owned the place. “It’s a little overcooked,” he said, my safety glasses over his eyes as he double-checked the sample. “But it’s stable.”
Fan-fricking-tastic. Another lab spared.
His crisp, uniformed sleeve brushed mine.
I stiffened. His touch rocked me to the core. He didn’t even seem to notice.
“What’s this?” the goddess asked as she touched the cool white pad stretched out underneath my sample rack.
“Icy Hot patch,” I answered quickly. “It was the only thing I could find.” Unless you counted the two-ice-cube allotment I was given at the mess tent.
She inspected the bread ties holding it in place. “How can you expect to do real research in this … hovel?”
Marc moved to stand next to her. “It’s a disgrace, my lady.”
Of all the— I didn’t mind Miss Gauzy trash-talking my place, but Marc?
At least my lab wasn’t haunted.
I held my temper in check. “I’ve been doing this on my own. My funding application was denied.”
“That’s not true,” General Argus bristled. “I approved it myself.”
That sneaky, lying …
I shot Kosta a look.
He ignored me.
Fine. It took everything I had to keep my face pleasantly blank. “I appreciate your foresight, General Argus. Funding this project would serve both armies,” I reminded them. “I’ve already established that sphinx venom is safe to use on immortals. If I can determine a delivery vehicle to administer the proper dosage, we can begin volunteer testing.” It’s not like this was going to kill anybody. “I have a report—”
“I saw it,” she said, flicking her gaze up the lanterns overhead like they were hairy, fang-toothed bats. “That’s why we’re here.” She leveled a look at me designed to make me feel both inferior and grateful. “You’ve been chosen to take part in a peace initiative between our side and yours. Our sides will work on the anesthetic together. I have already been in contact with old army acquisitions.” She sneered at Argus, as if she knew he was full of it. “They will provide you with everything you need.”
Wow. Okay. In that case, “I’d really prefer direct funding.” I could order things myself through Shirley.
The goddess turned a scathing look on me.
Argus dropped my notes all over the floor. “Do not curse her,” he ordered, his beady eyes on the goddess. “We need both the mortals to work.”
My stomach curled.
Kosta approached Nerthus, placing himself in between me and the goddess. “She knows your will is divine.” He glanced back at me. “And that the report lists her needs.”
I didn’t dare speak.
A curse from a goddess could mean anything from blindness to being turned into a pigeon for all eternity.
Wisps of smoke curled from Nerthus’s ears.
Marc leaned close to her. “One tragedy is enough, my lady.”
She puzzled at that. “One?”
He drew a hand down her arm. “The greatest tragedy is that I will miss you.”
She softened. I couldn’t believe Marc had actually spouted that inane horse puckey. Or that she bought it.
I bristled. In the old army, the women had to play slave to the men. But what about the goddesses? Did they have the right to demand services of the mortal men?
She looked ready to take him into my back room and christen the lab.
A new thought curdled in my stomach. What kind of a price had Marc paid to come back to me?
I cringed inside as she ran her fingers through the hair above his ear. “I’m sorry to leave you in a place like this.”
He inclined his head toward her. “If it’s what you wish me to do, I’ll manage.”
Oh, barf.
She turned her attention to me. “You will greet your new partner.”
Nice of her to get around to the rest of the introductions.
“This is Captain Belanger,” she continued.
Yes, I knew Captain Belanger. Better than she did, I hoped.
“Good to meet you, Captain.” I kept my voice even.
He was so close, I could have touched him, run my fingers over his broad shoulders, kissed him.
Nerthus eased a gleaming lock of hair over her shoulder. “General Argus will be your contact on the ground,” she said to both of us. It seemed she had better things to do.
Argus studied Marc, then me, with the appraising kind of look a gambler would give a racehorse at the track.
I kept my chin high and my eyes forward.
“We expect results,” he said.
Impossible ones.
Argus folded his hands behind his back, making a show of it. “You’ll send me a daily report.”
That he wouldn’t understand.
His eyes narrowed, as if he could read my thoughts. “You will make this joint venture a success.”
The or else was implied.
I kept my back straight and my voice even. “I’ll begin updating Captain Belanger immediately.”
It was the only thing I could do. Marc and I stood facing each other. The air was heavy, soaked with everything we couldn’t say, would never admit. We drank each other in, waiting until we were sure we were alone. Free.
No, we’d never be free. It was a mistake to even think it.
Marc cocked his head, watching me. “I’ll make a thorough study.”
“You’ll try,” I mocked. This time, he was keeping his pants on.
The goddess paused, as if she could sense the energy between us. “I want you to work well together.” She gave Marc one last glance before following Kosta to the door.
“Understood,” I said as the door slammed closed behind him.
She had no idea.
chapter eighteen
I blew out a breath, struggling with the idea that he was here, that I wanted him, but that I could never have him. How were we going to work together? I dropped my hands. “This is completely—”
He drew me close and silenced me with a kiss. “I thought I was never going to see you again,” he said, grating against my mouth.
I pulled away. “I thought I killed you.” I tried to get my bearings as he slid his hands down my back, cupping my ass. I’d never expected him and I’d never expected this and holy frick I wanted to eat him alive.
“Wait,” I gasped as he ground against me. “We can’t do this.” Not again.
Yes, he was here, and yes I wanted him, but I had to be stron
g.
His eyes were molten, his breath hitching. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”
Which was another reason for me to step away, end the embrace.
“What about your goddess?” I asked. “What did you promise her?” Maybe I could pick a fight. I drew my fingers down his arm in the exact same place she had. I wanted to erase her.
He hissed. “I want you, Petra.” He eased me back against the lab table.
He felt so good. So right. But we had to get one thing straight right away. “I’m not going to sleep with you.”
What we had—what we could never have now—was eating me alive. He might be able to separate it, but I couldn’t.
He yanked me against him until I could feel him—all of him—hot and heavy against me. “Then just kiss me.”
His gaze locked with mine. “There’s never been anyone like you. Never will be.”
His words cut into me, I couldn’t take that. I couldn’t open myself to him like that anymore.
He kissed me long and hard, until I lost my mind. Until I was wet with it.
Marc wrapped one of my legs around his waist, then the other. He shoved my back against the wall as his fingers found the very core of me. I was melting. Sweet heaven, I had no idea how much I’d needed this.
He slanted over me, mouth-on-mouth, chest-to-chest, thigh-to-thigh, his fingers working magic between my legs. Making me shudder, making me ache.
“Do you want me?” he asked, as he slipped two fingers inside of me.
I should lie. But why? He knew the truth.
“I’ve always wanted you,” I whispered, moaning with the pleasure of it.
He grinned wickedly as I writhed against him. “Good.”
His mouth found mine again, primed and ready. It was too much. Having him back. Knowing he was alive and here with me.
I reveled in his obvious desire, in the feel of him stroking my most intimate place.
My body was alive with it. I felt myself grow even wetter as he ripped at the buttons of my flak jacket.
I tried to help him and fumbled. This was crazy. It was only supposed to be once. I was going to have him and then let him go.
But I couldn’t forget the way his naked body had felt against mine, hot and slick and ready. I remembered the moment he slid the tip of himself inside me. How he moved inside me.
I gasped against his mouth as his coarse uniform rasped against my bare breasts.
This was insane. He could never be mine.
But he was here now. Whole and alive.
How many nights had I lain awake, dreaming of this man? Of what he could do to me?
Merde, I was primed. I was out of my mind.
He pinned me against the wall while he drew his fingers in and out of me. His heated mouth latched onto one of my breasts. I couldn’t think anymore. I could only feel as he sucked and licked, running his teeth along the ultra-sensitive skin of my nipple.
I wanted him so bad, it hurt. This pleasure that built to a painful burn, a desire so intense that I cried out. I called his name. It lanced through me as I clung to him.
“Please, Marc. Let me—”
“Not without me inside you,” he ground out.
He worked the buttons on his fatigues and then he was pushing inside me. I cried out again, from the sheer pleasure of him, the weight of him, the heat of him, the feel of him as he penetrated me.
He cursed under his breath, yanked me closer. His breath scalded my cheek as he gathered himself, found his rhythm.
Jesus. I was stripped bare against the wall. He was still fully dressed; I could feel the hard buttons against my inner thighs as he drove into me.
It excited me to no end to be laid out like a feast for this man. His coarse uniform abraded my skin, teased me, pushed me higher. I came with a sharp cry as the pleasure of being desired, taken, owned crashed over me.
I clung to him, needing him like I needed my next breath.
He gave a hoarse shout as he broke, pounding into me, pulling me even closer as he came long and hard inside me.
His cheek scraped mine as we clung together, gasping and spent against the wall. I could feel the moist heat of him radiating from under his uniform. It gathered between us, slicking where we were still joined.
Slowly, the world came back into focus. I drew my hands up his strong back, over the sliver of skin between his ear and his short, military cut. I felt the heat of him there, fought the urge to lick it.
God in heaven. “What are we doing?”
He flexed his hips, still semi-hard inside me. He chuckled against my ear. “I could show you again if you’d like.”
Yes, yes, my body panted as he slid over my aching clit.
The man should have come with a warning label.
I braced my head against the pinewood wall. I didn’t want this to end. I wanted him inside me. But this should never have happened in the first place.
He flexed again and I nearly lost my train of thought. Still, I needed to wrap my head around this. He’d been my rock, my confidant. I should be able to talk to him about this.
I licked my lips. “Seriously, Marc. What are we doing?”
A bead of sweat slicked down the side of his face. “We’re taking what we can get.”
Settling for scraps. We were talking about days, weeks if we were lucky. I was at his mercy and at the whim of the gods.
My heart broke a little. “I don’t think I can live like that.” We deserved more. From the moment I’d met him, I’d known I wanted more.
“It’s all we can have.” He pulled back, slipping away from me, out of me as he helped me stand. He tried for a smile and failed. “I’ve been given so few things in this war.”
Me too.
I tipped up the corners of my lips. It was either that or cry.
“Let’s enjoy this gift,” he said, his fingers finding my cheek. “We’ll be together for as long as we can.”
He didn’t say the next part, but I knew it already.
It would have to be enough.
His mouth was tight, but his eyes were soft as he brushed a lock of hair behind my ear.
My stomach hollowed. “I can’t do that.” Legs wobbly, I felt his withdrawal like a physical ache. “I’m not as good at holding back as you are.” He’d said it himself that he could compartmentalize this. Well, I couldn’t. I was all or nothing. I didn’t know how to be anything else.
“Petra—”
My uniform jacket slouched on an empty corner of the lab table. I found it and tugged it on, not really wanting it.
He followed me, held me. “I don’t understand.”
“Yes, you do.” He wasn’t giving me everything and it wasn’t fair, not when I was about to rip a hole in my heart that might never heal. I took a deep breath and said it before I could change my mind. “From now on, we’re just friends.”
Marc looked like I’d slapped him. “Unbelievable. You don’t know what I had to pull in order to get this assignment. It was one in a million, I finally have you back—and you want to be friends?”
That was our mistake—in a nutshell. “You don’t have me back,” I said, buttoning my jacket, ignoring the hurt in his eyes. I didn’t have him back, either.
He was right. I didn’t know what he’d had to do to make it here, but I knew it was temporary. And that he was giving only what he could on this particular day, this week, this month.
The Marc I knew never held his emotions in check. He never held back his love. He was all or nothing—just like me.
This war had changed a lot of things.
He watched every button. “So you’re expecting me to be here with you every day and not touch you?”
“Bingo.”
“I can’t live like this.”
“I say that every day.”
But he was right. This was going to be our own particular brand of hell.
To be here, alone. Constantly tempted with what we’d given up at the whim of the gods. I wanted to
strip him naked every time I saw him.
I wanted him more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life. I was raw with it.
But I couldn’t have him, so I might as well save myself the grief and the pain. Last time I’d fallen, it had taken me ten years to get over him. If I tripped again, I might never recover.
He stood motionless. “So if we’re friends, are you going to tell me what you’ve been doing for the past ten years?”
Surviving. I’d have given anything to go to him right then, wrap my arms around him, and never let go.
“Let’s just stick to work,” I said, moving to my desk.
His lips formed a thin line, but he didn’t offer any comment as he buttoned his fatigues and joined me at my desk.
“Not so close,” I said, as his rough jacket brushed my wrist, making me all too aware of his closeness. Of him.
He huffed. “Any more orders?”
“Don’t get pissed at me.”
He gave me a hard stare. “Why not? You won’t let me love you.”
Please. “Love is not the problem, Marc, and you know it.”
My words hung between us. We stood for a moment, shocked, the silence deepening.
He sat, reaching for my lab notes without even looking at them. He bent over them, trying to focus. “This is your progress so far on the ethanol?”
Lovely. Yes. Physical battle he could do. In spades. As far as putting his true self on the line? Well, he’d just proved my point.
“I’m exploring different solvents that will allow us to control the effect of the sphinx venom.”
“Sure,” he said, as he paged through the notes.
Battling a sigh, I sat down on the stool. The effects of our robust reunion were beginning to wear off and fatigue tugged at me. “When do you think your side will start sending equipment?”
“Knowing the goddess? It’s already on the way.”
“About that—” I stiffened. “How well do you know the goddess?”
“Jealous?” he challenged.
For a second, I didn’t know what to say. I was too tired, too raw.
Regret flashed across his features. “I’m sorry. That was an asshole thing to say.” He shook his head. “Nerthus means nothing. I know I sound like an idiot when I talk to her, but courtly words make her feel good. And it got me on this project.”