by fox, angie
They were casualties of war, just like Marc and I had been.
My stomach did a few flip-flops as I made my way up the hill through the cemetery. It was over between us. It’s not like I was going to fall for him. I’d told him we were just friends. If he pushed me, I’d stand my ground. I could do this.
I just didn’t relish the idea of working so close to him.
When I got to the lab, I was relieved to find Jeffe there. He and Marc sat outside in the sunshine, doing extractions.
Of course Jeffe was there. It was Friday. I gave myself a mental shake. It hadn’t been on my radar with everything else going on.
The sphinx held out one large paw as the venom from his claws dripped into the test tubes in Marc’s hands.
Jeffe was in full question mode. “Yes, but if you had to choose a goddess, who would you choose?”
Marc shrugged. He sat on a crate as he held the sphinx in position. “I told you. I’m not worthy of a goddess.”
“Very clever.” The sphinx nodded. “Okay. Here’s one. Where were you transferred from?”
He didn’t give an inch. “That’s classified.”
“Hmm … very good.”
Marc released him and the sphinx stood. “What is the average life span of a lobster?”
He paused. “In the ocean or in a tank?”
“The ocean,” Jeffe said, waiting for Marc’s response. The sphinx danced in place. “Did I get you?”
“They can live more than a hundred years,” I said, thunking the sphinx on the head.
Jeffe planted his butt back on the ground. “I was asking Captain Belanger.”
“Yes,” I said, “but if he gets it wrong, we don’t want you honor-bound to eat him.”
The sphinx scratched at his chin with his free paw. “That is true.” He shook out his mane. “My apologies. It is just that I do not have my notes.”
“Yeah, that explains it,” Marc said.
Obviously, he hadn’t spent much time around sphinxes.
“Those in the camp trust me to ask their questions,” Jeffe said. “I make detailed notes. I leave nothing to chance.”
Marc held a sterile cloth over Jeffe’s paw while he deposited the test tubes in a holder. He caught my eye. “Father McArio came by. He brought us sandwiches.”
“No thank you,” Jeffe said, “it is taco salad night in the mess tent.”
We let the sphinx go while I helped Marc clean up outside. I was almost tempted to follow Jeffe. I didn’t want to be alone with Marc, even if he was just my friend and this was purely a research project.
Rodger said I’d changed. Maybe I had. But if so, it meant I was wiser, stronger. I knew better than to let Marc get to me.
Merde. I was so tired of being on guard. I wanted just one day, one hour where I could take some comfort, bury myself in the crook of his arm, kiss him.
“You’d better watch yourself,” I told Marc, retrieving a few of the Band-Aid wrappers that had fluttered out of the trash. “I ran into Eris down there and she is all into you.”
“I don’t even know an Eris,” he said, accepting them, wrapping the whole thing up for bio waste.
“Nerthus does.”
“This is worse than high school,” he muttered.
Welcome to my world.
He held the lab door open for me, and I hesitated.
For heaven’s sake. I could do this. I could be alone with him. I was a doctor, not some randy teenager.
I caught his eyes; he was watching me, hungry. He cleared his throat. “I think you were really close with the peracetic acid,” he said.
“Interesting,” I said, watching him. This was bad. I was going to have to be the strong one or we wouldn’t last the night.
“Peracetic acid isn’t our answer,” he went on, “but milder seems to be better.”
“I wouldn’t have thought it.”
Sphinx venom was designed to quickly overtake an entire nervous system. It obliterated anything I’d tried to use to dilute it. Which was why I’d assumed stronger was better.
“Are you going to go inside?” he asked, still holding the door.
Right.
When I entered, I saw he’d rearranged the two lab tables. Anger flashed through me before I realized why he’d done it. We had a new fume hood, and a washing station for lab equipment.
“Believe me, I thought twice about touching your things,” he said as he watched me survey his changes. He’d moved both worktables to the back, which was technically more efficient.
“Where’d you get all this?”
“Nerthus.”
Of course. He’d gotten us new battery-operated burners, real cooling racks. His new layout was also more practical. There was more room to move, too, which didn’t explain why Marc and I stood so close.
He cleared his throat. “I know it’s not mine.”
“It’s okay,” I said, finding my voice. “I like it.”
He was too close.
I wanted to be mad, not because I felt it, but because it would put some distance between us. I was used to owning my anger. Now I was afraid of it. I didn’t have a tight enough hold. Letting loose around this man could open me up to, well, his tongue in my ear in my newly redesigned lab.
I stepped back, almost stumbled in my haste to get away. “So have you found anything interesting?” I asked, heading for his notes on my desk.
He’d worked through the rest of my top ten list of solvents. All of them had been too harsh. Damn.
I took a seat on my stool. Leaning back against the rough wood, I braced the papers on my knee and paged through the progress he’d made overnight. He was good. His work was thorough, precise.
He’d finished the ethanol testing and managed to rule out diesel fuel and liquid hydrogen. He’d worked fast. Of course the new equipment hadn’t hurt. “I could kiss you,” I said under my breath. “Ouch.” I lifted my head. “Sorry.” It was a dumb thing to say.
At least he looked as miserable as me. “I’ve worked with highly volatile neurotoxins before. But nothing like this.”
“Yes,” I said, examining the notes, forcing myself to focus. “We’re going to have to switch directions on this.” It was frustrating. “We’re losing time.”
“It’s not good news. I know.” He stood his ground. “I have to admit, it’s nice to be working on something good for a change.”
True. His old project scared the hell out of me. As much as I didn’t want him so close, with me, we were doing good. And it was better than having him at work on that killer weapon. I turned to face him. “How close do you think they are to finishing?”
He shook his head. “It’s impossible to say. Dr. Keller talked about needing a pathway.” The lantern light played off his features, making him look even more stark, mesmerizing. “The toxin acts like a virus. The good thing is that once it’s inside the body, it’s not replicating fast enough to overtake someone’s system.”
He touched my hand and I felt it everywhere. His closeness was almost overwhelming. He ran his fingers along the edges of a cut I didn’t even know I had. “In its current state, the virus will make people sick, but it won’t kill them. We have time.”
Gently, I pulled my hand back. “Until they develop a pathway.” This was all so screwed up. “Hopefully we can get through the prophecies before that,” I said, daring him to doubt me.
He didn’t.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be a good friend,” he said, putting an emphasis on the last word.
It vibrated through me. “Will you?”
I needed to know. We were working together. I had to feel like I could focus, and right now all I could think about was what it would be like to have him.
Maybe I should strip him down right here, right now, and get it over with. Then it could be just sex and not this terrible, aching emptiness.
He knew his limits. He held his true self back. I couldn’t even try. It wasn’t me.
I tilted my head, studying the rais
ed scar that cut across his neck.
This cool detachment, this separation, it never would have been possible for Marc, either. Until this war.
He hitched his breath as I ran my fingers along his raised flesh. His skin colored as I touched the smooth skin below.
Could I break through to him?
Did I even want to?
My thumb lingered at the base of his throat. “What have you suffered that you decided it was better to be alone?” What had he seen? Had it been worse for him?
He lowered his head. “I’ve operated until I could hardly walk out of the OR at the end of my shift. I’ve watched soldiers scream on my table as their organs went liquid from poison because we had nothing left to neutralize it. I’ve watched my patients left for dead.”
And been left for dead himself.
“And it was better to do it alone,” I said.
He swallowed. “Yes.”
Maybe he was right. I didn’t know. But one thing was certain. I wouldn’t try to make him feel. I wouldn’t dredge up the pain and the longing and the suffering he’d buried just to find that part of him he’d lost, that part of him I’d loved.
It was too hard. He’d suffered too much. And I refused to leave him broken when it was time to say good-bye.
chapter twenty-one
When night fell, we heard a knock at the door. Marius poked his head in. “Sorry to interrupt, but Medusa needs you.”
Marc and I were at my desk, working on a list of milder solvents. I stood. “Is she okay?”
His face was drawn. “She thinks she might be feeling some contractions. She’s in the clinic. Nobody wanted to treat her. And she has a prejudice against vampires.”
“I’ll take care of her,” I said, heading out. Medusa knew me. Besides, I didn’t want anyone treating her if they weren’t comfortable. She’d sense that. Every patient had a right to feel like their doctor was 100 percent focused on their care.
“You’ve been spending a lot of time in your lab,” Marius remarked as we headed through the minefield.
I didn’t want to talk about it. But I did owe him one. “Thanks again for talking to me about Marc.” I knew he’d been ready to sleep when I went pounding on his lair.
He nodded. “I’m just sorry I didn’t have better news.”
“He’s fine.” I leaned close so no one would hear. “That was him back there.”
Marius’s eyes widened. “You mean the dragon?” He shook his head, as if I’d said something crazy. “Why didn’t you introduce me?”
I shook my head. “I’m a little off when it comes to that man.” Understatement of the year. “And how did you know he was a dragon?”
Marius shrugged. “I smelled him.” He walked next to me, hands in the pockets of his white doctor’s coat. “Shifters recover fine from a disruptor blast. You told me he was human.”
“Oh,” I said, startled. I’d always thought of Marc as being like me.
“No wonder Rodger is busting a gut,” Marius said as we crossed the street toward the clinic. “I can always tell when he has a secret.”
“He’d better not say anything about Marc and me. I can’t let it get out that Marc and used to be together.”
“You’re not now?” he asked.
“No,” I said, wishing it didn’t hurt so much to say.
“Don’t worry,” Marius said quickly. “I’ll do what I can to keep things quiet.” He opened the door to the clinic for me. “Besides, the more they talk, the less they believe what they say.”
I sure hoped he was right.
* * *
The waiting room was crowded, which I took as a good sign. Word was getting out about the care we offered here.
I took Medusa’s chart and headed for a room in the back. “Did you get a urine sample?” I asked one of the nurses on duty.
She shook her head no, her thin nose wrinkling slightly at the thought.
Come on. I knew Medusa could turn a person to stone, but she was also a creature in need of care. She didn’t need us tiptoeing around her.
“Give it to me,” I said as the nurse went to retrieve a small plastic cup. I’d handle it myself.
Medusa had just done her thing, a common occurrence with pregnant women, so I had another nurse fetch me a bottle of water.
“Drink,” I told her while I took her vitals.
We did a full examination, and it turned out the gorgon just had some indigestion.
She ran her hands over the slight roundness of her green scaled stomach. “My apologies. I feel foolish.”
“Don’t.” No need for that. “I’m glad you came in.”
Her stomach rumbled. “It must be the jelly beans. I cannot get enough.”
“Your weight gain is fine,” I said, double-checking her chart. “Just make sure you balance the sugar with plenty of veggies and good-for-you foods.” I took her mostly full water bottle and watched as she shifted on the crinkly paper that covered the examination table. “Are you taking your prenatal vitamins?”
She hissed. “They are like horse pills.”
The water in the bottle began to boil. Yikes.
She didn’t notice as I capped it and practically threw it onto the counter behind me.
Her eyes darted. “It is like the time Athena made me swallow the three-pointed trident of Neptune.”
I glanced back at the bottle. It was still bubbling. Incredible. I knew some of my patients had powers, but I didn’t usually see it firsthand.
“Are you taking your prenatals?” I asked again.
“Yes,” she grumbled.
“Good.” That’s all I’d needed to know.
As eager as I was to get back to the lab, this was one of the parts of being a doctor that I enjoyed the most. Medusa might like to thrash her tail, but I knew she was taking good care of herself and her baby.
I sent her up front to schedule her eighteen-week ultrasound. Then I stayed behind to change the paper on her exam table and grab the leftover water bottle. It wasn’t my job to clean up the room, but in a way I felt like I owed it to the poor gorgon not to have that nurse in here with her wrinkled nose and her prejudices.
Afterward, I checked out of the clinic and headed to the minefield.
Cool and collected.
If I could do it with an ancient gorgon, I could at least attempt it with Marc.
I arrived just in time to see an immense wooden cart pull up to the lab. It was hitched to two white cows with leafy garlands around their necks. We both cringed as the oversized wheels of the cart ground against a wrecked wheelchair. It screeched against an old metal storage locker as the cows dragged it for several yards.
I walked up to him. “That’s something you don’t see every day.”
He wore a slightly pained expression. “Nerthus likes cows.”
“So do I. Medium rare with a baked potato.”
There was no driver, at least none that we could see.
We walked around to the back. “So I’m assuming the last delivery didn’t come by cow.”
His jaw tightened. “Try Nerthus in a string bikini.”
For a goddess, that was playing hard to get.
Marc lifted the cover on the rear of the cart and my heart stuttered. “It’s a generator!” The other boxes held metal lab tables, more uniforms for Marc, and—I held up a red man-thong. “What the hell is this?”
He pulled a box of electric lights off the cart and groaned.
“Is this the goddess’s version of underwear?” I asked, stretching it between my fingers. This was too precious. It even sparkled. “I’d love to see you in this.”
“I thought we were just friends,” he said, reaching for another box.
“We are,” I said, before he got any ideas.
“Maybe I’ll go commando,” Marc said, heading into the lab.
Like I needed to be thinking of that all day.
We soon realized we also had a full set of worship books dedicated to Nerthus, as well as a framed loc
k of her hair. Ew. I was half tempted to burn it for testing.
No extension cords for the generator, but Marc put in a request.
“Tell her you miss her,” I said, checking out the generator as he filled out the paperwork.
“What?” he choked out. “You don’t think I’m already the mortal flavor of the week?”
Well, he wouldn’t be mine.
He lowered his pen. “Why are you so determined to push me away?”
He had to be kidding. “Do you want an alphabetic list or maybe just top-ten-style?”
There was a sharp rap at the door. “Pizza.”
No way.
I opened it up to find a rather annoyed Horace hovering outside the door. “Ahem, I come in the name of Eris the most high and beautiful goddess.” He rolled his eyes. “The supreme deity with the most beautific gifts, the perkiest breasts, and the best sense of style.”
“Really?” Marc asked.
Horace shrugged. “It was on the note card. She isn’t allowed to come up here, so I’m supposed to send her regards and check you out.” The sprite craned his neck in the door to get a handle on Marc. “Um-hum. Okay.” He handed me the pizza. “Bye.”
“This is ridiculous,” Marc said, holding the pie.
I shrugged. “You know the goddesses.”
He frowned. “I’m not talking about that.”
“Sorry, Charlie. I’m not going to get into it.” I sat on a stool, as far as I could get from him, willing him to respect the distance, honor what we’d said would never happen between us. “Let’s just have some pizza.”
* * *
The next day, Father McArio dropped by with Fitz the hellhound and helped us put everything together. We paid him back with my favorite item in that day’s cart—a two-by-four-foot ornately framed picture of the goddess.
“This is certainly a nice frame,” Father said as he hoisted it up. “You really don’t mind?”
Marc walked him to the door. “We’ll say it got lost in transit.”
Frankly, all of the gifts were making me nervous.
Eris sent presents as well—massage oils and silk sheets. And muffuletta sandwiches from Central Grocery in the French Quarter.