by Diana Rivers
“Thank you, Alyeeta,” I said, “for not blessing us with one of your silencings, though there was a moment or two there when I might almost have welcomed it.”
“That little scene was much too interesting to interrupt. I wanted to see how it would end without Witches’ meddling.”
“Alyeeta, sometimes I think you are a monster.”
“A monster, eh? Is it not bad enough then to be a Witch?” She pinched me on the tender inner part of my arm just above the elbow. “Come in with me and I will show you what monsters can do.”
With no hesitation, I followed her inside. After all that had happened that day, Alyeeta’s shelter seemed an island of safety. Soon we were loving each other to the rhythm of drums, cymbals, and tambourines. Long after we were done I lay awake listening to that wild music.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Early the next morning Maireth came to look for me, dressed for the road. Though the scars on her face were still quite visible, she was healing much faster than I would have expected. Clearly, she had some urgent business with me. “It pleases me to see you back in Pell’s favor. It pleases me even more that your command has been returned to you, and we have no reason now to go on playing out out little subterfuge. If you do not need me anymore, if you can manage well enough without me, I am going back to Pell’s shelter and care for the burned ones.”
I laughed ruefully. “After last night I am not sure I can manage anything at all. I thought we were all about to make war on each other right there and finish up the Zarn’ s work for him.” Then, seeing how very serious she looked, I said quickly, “Go, go, Maireth, it is due to my own foolishness you were kept here for so long against your will. Of course I can manage. If I have any trouble I will call for the Sheezerti. Go with my love.” We hugged, then as she started to turn away I remembered her pendant, “Wait, Maireth, do you need this back?”
“No, that is yours. I have my own. That used to belong to my lover. Where she is now she has no need of it. It is not a thing to hide away in a box. It needs to be worn by the living.”
“I think it saved me in Eezore.” With my hand pressed against its warmth I told her briefly what had happened to me in the city.
While I spoke she watched me intently. She looked as if she were peering into my soul and searching there for something. But in the end, all she said was, “Yes, it is good for centering, for keeping hold of oneself.” I felt there was much much more she was not saying.
“Is it of ‘the Circle?’ Are you one of them?” I asked, full of curiosity.
“Not yet time,” she said quickly, “not yet time to speak of such things.”
“Not even here?” I asked.
“Not yet time,” she repeated. “Wear it down inside your shirt. Do not flaunt it about. The time will come when we can gather all that up again, but not in the midst of this chaos.” She gestured around the camp, “Not here, and not now.” After she gave me another quick hug, she held me away to look in my face. “There was a time, Tazzi, when I could have cursed you for saving my life. Now I am grateful. The pendant is a gift of life for a gift of life.” With those words she shouldered her pack and ran across the clearing to join Kazouri who was waiting for her with two horses. Kazouri was to ride with Maireth and report back to Pell on how things were going at the shelter and what was needed there.
As they rode off Alyeeta stepped up beside me. “Now that is the one I should have taught my healing to,” she said sharply. “Why did I waste that time on you?”
“Not waste, Alyeeta, it will all be used. Now is not the time for me to be a healer.”
“You healed Shalamith.”
“No, Shalamith healed herself. I helped her with my energy. It was my energy she needed, not my healing.” I saw she was ready to continue in this vein and so said quickly, “Do not chide me at this moment, Alyeeta. Let me come back into your shelter. Too much has happened too fast. I need a quiet place. I am not ready yet to meet the morning.” Silently she nodded and stepped aside. I slipped past her and went in to sit alone in a far corner behind a stump.
I believe Alyeeta was teaching some reading that morning, but I scarcely noticed the voices. After a while I thought I heard the sound of rustling from a shelf above me or maybe I only felt a presence. I looked up into the gold-flecked, hooded eyes of Telakeet’s toad. For a moment the two of us regarded each other. Then I reached out my hand, palm up. With no hesitation she hopped into my hand. I brought her down so we were looking at each other eye to eye. Slowly her warmth spread out in my palm. She shut her eyes. I cupped her between my breasts and began to rock slowly back and forth in the chair.
I must have gone away to some far place. It was very startling to suddenly come back to myself and find Telakeet standing in front of me, radiating hate. She reached out her hand as if she wanted to snatch her toad away.
“Ah, so you want to steal her from me, also,” she said in a venomous tone.
I looked up at her in bewilderment, not able to respond to her anger as I had before with anger of my own. “She was only keeping me company for a moment,” I said softly. Then I went on in a rush of words, “Please, Telakeet, I have no wish to take anything at all away from you. Why can you not let me have a little place in Alyeeta’s life? What have I ever done to you that you should hate me so? You are so angry at me for helping Shalamith, yet she was the one who sent for me.”
I saw the rage in her face suddenly turn to grief. “There are things you would never understand,” she said. “Never! Not if I talked to you for a whole year. But I must thank you for helping to heal Shalamith, saving her perhaps. I am not sure we could have done that without you. Something was needed that was beyond the power of Witches. Yes, for that I am grateful.”
Though she said it in such a grudging way and such a grudging voice, these were certainly the kindest words she had ever spoken to me.
“Thank you for that, Telakeet,” I said, holding out the toad to her, all warm and soft in my hand.
“Keep her a while longer if you want,” she said as she turned to go.
***
Most of the conflicts in the camp began to settle themselves after a while. Even the Muinyairin of the dry-lands and the former slaves of Eezore made some sort of peace. Even Rishka and I stopped warring so loudly with each other, at least for that time. I think that scene around the table had frightened us both and sobered us considerably. Not so with Lhiri and Nunyair. Their quarrel grew deeper and more explosive with each passing day and also more disturbing to the rest of us. It was as if all their years of silence were being given voice. They loved each other, and they hated each other, and they could not seem to stay out of one another’s way. Whatever one said the other had to answer. Then, in an instant, all the rage and frustration of a lifetime would boil up. We each took a turn at trying to make peace between them. After a while we all gave up. Even Rishka and I tried to talk to them as their friends. Even Olna could not reach the sore that festered there. Even Pell’s threats had scant effect. They would promise and hold to their promise for a while and then begin again. One moment they would be holding hands and leaning toward each other in the manner of lovers as if the rest of us did not exist, the next moment they were screaming curses and accusations till the whole camp was in turmoil.
After a particularly ugly scene between them, Hamiuri called the rest of us together—Hamiuri who so seldom tampered with our affairs. When we had all assembled she beckoned to the culprits, “Come Lhiri, Nunyair. Come stand before us so we all can see you. We have heard you often enough.”
They came forward reluctantly, looking embarrassed and defiant, and under that, afraid. I could only be glad it was not myself and Rishka standing there in their place as it might well have been. Hamiuri kept her silence for a while, letting them stand in front of everyone while others stared and whispered and giggled and finally began making louder and louder comments on the disturbances they had caused. I was in an agony of embarrassment and relief, thinking ho
w easily I could have been the one up there shifting from foot to foot under the scrutiny of all those eyes.
When she thought them sufficiently well-cooked, Hamiuri clapped her hands for silence. An instant hush fell. Pointing at them she said clearly, “You two are waging your own small private war here in the midst of this larger one, and I think the rest of us have had enough of it.” Hamiuri spoke loud enough so all of us could hear and in a tone of power that made me tremble inside. “What you are doing weakens and endangers us all. You must cease until we are in a place of safety. If you cannot or will not do so, then you must leave and never shelter among Star-Born or Witches again, neither here with us nor in any other gathering, for very soon we shall all be together in one gathering. Is that clear enough for you both, or do I have to repeat myself?”
Lhiri was nodding and looking at the ground, but Nunyair burst out indignantly, “Would you call a banishment on us then?” She sounded incredulous.
“A banishment? Is that what the Shokarn would call this?” I saw a slight flicker of amusement cross Hamiuri’s face, “Well then, yes, a banishment it is. Yes, if there is no other way.” There was a long pause while Hamiuri seemed to be gathering herself up to her full power. No one moved or said a word. When she finally spoke I felt as if the ground were shaking under my feet. “Hear me now and remember what I say, you have a choice. If you are to stay here among us you are to separate. You are not to sleep together or be lovers in any way. Do not speak to each with words or eyes or gestures or with your minds. Do not make any contact whatsoever of body or spirit. You will be as dead to one another. If you cannot keep to those terms, if this talk is not sufficient to free us of this uproar, then, yes, in your words, I call for a banishment on you both, a banishment from all the gatherings of the Star-Born. Does this seem unfair to you? If so let us hear what you have to say on the matter.”
Though Hamiuri had not asked Pell or any of the rest of us for that matter, I saw Pell nodding and many other women as well. I could not speak, caught between my caring for Lhiri and my knowledge that we could not go on in this way.
There was another long silence. Lhiri was still looking at the ground. Slowly she raised her eyes till she was looking straight at Hamiuri. “I accept,” she said with resignation. “I accept because I can see no other way.” Though she spoke in a clear steady voice her hands were shaking.
“And you?” Hamiuri said to Nunyair.
“I accept also,” Nunyair muttered, almost in a whisper.
“Well good, then let us have some peace here.” Hamiuri made a wide sweep of her arm as if dismissing us all. The circle broke with Lhiri and Nunyair going off in opposite directions.
***
“Yaiee! Yaiee! Yaiee!” The cry rang through the camp as blood chilling as the cry of the Oolanth hill-cats. “Yaiee! Yaiee!” A troop of riders, clearly Muinyairin from the look of them, came charging into camp with some of our sentries riding full after them. The first of them stopped so short her horse reared up on its hind legs. “Where is Rishkazeel the Muinyairin?” she called loudly. “Tell her Hayika is here. She is the only one I will speak with.” As she spoke she was casting suspicious glances in all directions.
The other women of the camp had all stopped what they were doing. They quickly stepped aside for me as I rushed forward to meet with the intruders. I was wishing Pell or Kazouri or even Rishka herself were there to deal with this rude entrance so reminiscent of Rishka’s first appearance. The other wild ones meanwhile had all reined in and were in a line in back of their leader with our sentries shouting futiley at them.
I was reaching for the leaders reins, wondering what I was to say to this invasion, when I heard Rishka shout from in back of me, “Off your horses, all of you! Hayika, what do you mean riding in here this way! Have you no respect?”
One of the women in the line flung herself off her horse shouting, “Rishkazeel! Rishkazeel! You are really here!” This was followed by some rapid Muinyairin I could not follow.
Rishka herself dashed forward into that woman’s arms shouting, “Kilghari!” while I hastily backed away. Drawn by the commotion, Alyeeta stepped up beside me to watch. She bent her head and said in my ear, “Humility must be a much-prized trait among the Muinyairin, it is so rare. Here they are, the most hunted beggars in the world, and they ride into my clearing as if they were Shokarn lords demanding taxes from a village of cowed dirt-farmers. Perhaps I should...” She began to raise her hand, fingers outstretched.
“Please, Alyeeta, no!”
“Ah well...” she said with a shrug, “perhaps later.”
By now all the new Muinyairi had dismounted and were hugging Rishka in turn. Daijar and Noshir came running in and shortly afterward Zan appeared with some of the Muinyairin that had been freed from Eezore. Soon they were all hugging and clasping hands and shouting greetings in rapid Muinyairin while the rest of us watched in a loose circle.
“I wonder if all the Muinyairin of the Drylands know each other?” Renaise muttered to me.
“It would seem so,” I answered with a laugh. Then I called out to the sentries to go back to their places.
Later Rishka came to look for me, calling “Tazzi, Tazzi, come meet my cousin.” She was walking, arms linked, with the Muinyairin who had first leapt off her horse to greet her. “Tazzi, this is my cousin Kilghari,” Rishka said with evident pride, speaking of the young woman standing at her side.
I turned to look into eyes that gazed back at me from a clear, quiet center, a gaze much like Olna’s, not what I would have expected from a Muinyairin. She looked like Rishka and yet not like Rishka. There was some vital difference at the core.
“So this is Tazzi,” she said in a serious, almost formal voice and then smiled suddenly so that her whole face lit up and my heart melted. I reached out to clasp the hand she offered me.
“Kilghari wants to know why we have not yet done a naming circle here and a circle-of-peace, Muinyairin style.”
The words “circle-of-peace” on Rishka’s lips made me want to howl with laughter. I struggled to keep a good face on it while Kilghari said in her strange, soft sounding Kourmairi, “We have been looking for you everywhere. The star-cursed are certainly not easy to find. We had to leave not long after Rishka and have been riding hard all that time, asking questions and trying to stay clear of the guards.”
As Kilghari was speaking, the one Rishka had named as Hayika walked up in back of her. She stood glowering over Kilghari’s shoulder, looking angry enough to make trouble, but keeping her silence for the moment.
“And what is this circle-of-peace?” I said trying not to smile at the words and ignoring as best I could Hayika’s hostile glare.
Kilghari burst into a flood of rapid Muinyairin I could not follow. Rishka said more slowly, “To start with, each of us needs to bring a sword or a knife or something that is strongly personal to that woman tied to a staff or stick. The Muinyairin usually use swords, but most women here do not have one so something else will be needed. After that it is easier to show than to tell.”
I heard Hayika thinking, What use is a circle-of-peace when all we need is to get Rishka and the others and leave? The less time I spend with these chaka the better.
“When do you think we should do this?” I went on, as if I had not so clearly heard Hayika’s thoughts.
“As soon as you can, tonight if possible. Rishka told me what has been happening here. There is no time to be lost if more conflict is to be avoided. And first you must have a naming circle or the circle-of-peace will be weakened.”
Well, I thought with amusement, even the gentlest of these Muinyairin has some touch of that Muinyairin pride. Here was this stranger who had been among us less than four hours telling us how to conduct our camp. I wondered if my thoughts were as loud as Hayika’s. Still, what harm could there be in such a circle? Goddess knows we needed some way to bring a measure of peace and harmony between us. All we had now was a brittle, fragile truce. Pell was away. It was up to me
to call for a decision. “Good enough,” I said nodding, “let me see what the will is here.”
I called over Renaise, Kazouri, Zenoria, and Teko, as well as Alyeeta and Hamiuri. Those two had been watching from the shelter entrance, perhaps expecting another outbreak among us. The rest of the Muinyairin had already gathered. Kilghari spoke earnestly while the others listened and I watched, nodding and trying to hide all traces of a smile. At the end Hamiuri echoed my thoughts, saying, “Why not? What harm can there be in it. Something is needed here that will tie this quarrelsome rabble together.” The others nodded. It must have been the shortest conference ever held in that camp. Off to the side I could see Hayika arguing with Rishka.
Kilghari had said we could not use the cookfires, that there was too much troubled energy attached to them, so that night we made our circle fire in a new place. While Kazouri beat on a great pot that sounded like a gong, we gathered ourselves in a spiral that wound several times around the fire.
The Muinyairin had all dressed for this occasion, decking themselves with scarves and sashes and strings of multi-colored beads over their brightest tunics, their hair braided with ribbons or twists of wool and hung with all manner of decorations, shells, feathers, and shiny ornaments. Some had painted patterns on their faces and some were bare breasted and had painted their nipples and breasts. They had all brought with them some fancy sword or blade that flashed and sparkled in the firelight. Most of the Sheezerti wore the costumes of their performing troops, as bright and colorful in their own way as the Muinyairin.
I felt strangely shorn and naked in the midst of all that rough finery. For the first time I regretted the cutting of my long wavy hair and vowed to grow it back when this was over. Kilghari told me she would have done it up Muinyairin style with braids, beads and feathers. I had hardly given a thought to what I was going to bring for my part in the circle. Then, at the last possible moment, the knife Kerris made for me fell out of my belt and landed standing in the dirt, blade first, a sure sign if ever I have seen one. I bound it to a stick and went to take my place in the spiral.