by Leah Holt
Cadence drew in a breath as if she was about to speak, holding my hand up, I silenced her. “Let me finish.” My head fell down, eyes empty as I relived that moment in my head.
Shifting my feet, I said, “I never made it to the ring, I was so fucked up, I slept through the whole day, missing my fight. When I finally came to, I grabbed my phone and saw, God, I don't know... Fifty missed calls.” My body shuddered and Cadence saw it, tightening her hand around mine. “I called back my coach, and let me tell you, his words still echo in my head every fucking day, Cadence.” They replayed in my ears when I woke, they played in my ears when I slept, I couldn't turn them off.
“Quinn, you missed a fight. Who-” Slicing her words in half, my voice growled from the back of my throat.
“That's not it.” Heaving my chest furiously, a rippled blade dug into my stomach, twisting its sharp edge, peeling back the wound I had tried to close. “My friend, my best friend, Rainee, he stood in for me, he took my place. He shouldn't have been in the ring fighting that day, it was my fight.” My teeth ground together as the words hit them from behind. “He died, Cadence. He died in the ring that day, and it should have been me. I've never forgotten that, never forgave myself for it.”
Her face went taut, lips sagging downward, eyes darting between mine. “Quinn, I-I'm sorry. I had no idea.”
My knuckles were white, gripping the bar to the point of numbness. My muscles twitched under the skin, contorting with anger, rage, hatred.
I hated myself for not being there.
I hated the man who stole Rainee's life.
I hated that a life was lost because I fucked up.
It shouldn't have come to that, it never should have gone that far.
It should have been me.
“Rainee, he was like family. His mother treated me like another son, it was her I gave that promise to. She pleaded with me to walk away, save my own life.” Turning to face Cadence, my hands fell by my side. “So that's what I did, I left.”
Gazing up, she stepped in close, her arms walking around my waist. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry you had got through that. But it's not your fault, you couldn't have known, Quinn.”
Resting my chin against her cheek, the warm apple washed across my skin. For that instant, that single second in time, I felt alive.
It had been years since I felt my veins course with any sign of life. That loss, having had my best friend taken in a flash, it struck me to the core. There wasn't a moment that passed that Rainee didn't cross my mind.
Emptiness had consumed me from the inside out, then I found these kids, and now...
Cadence.
From the first time I caught her in my sight, I was going to make her mine; Now, even with the threat of her father...
She WAS mine. And I was going to do anything to keep it that way.
No one would ever take her from me.
That was a promise I made to myself.
And a promise I was making to her.
I will save her.
Chapter Ten
Cadence
Pushing through the crowded street, I made my way towards Lee's Nails. If there was one thing I found relaxing, it was getting a good manicure.
I had to be at work in a couple of hours, and with the week I'd had, an afternoon of pampering was beyond necessary. The anxiety that had been riding my bones over the big mishap in the shower was keeping a constant tremble in my muscles.
My stomach was doing flips, my chest was tight and constricted every time I took a breath, and my brain was fucked.
Trying to force my mind clear, Quinn had settled right on top of every thought. I couldn't shake him off, his strong fingers had cemented their grip.
He became my drug. I had a taste, and now I was hooked.
Lifting my purse higher on my shoulder, I pulled out my phone and texted my friend Mia. She was meeting me at the salon for our monthly spa day. Mia had been my best friend for years, and to me, she was family.
And after what Quinn had said, what he went through with his friend, Mia had a more solid place in my world.
She worked at the bar for a short time, and we just kind of clicked. Besides myself, she had been the only other person I had ever trusted.
'On my way. And have I got some shit to share.' Hitting send, I shoved the phone back into my purse.
I wasn't sure if I was going to tell Mia about what happened. Especially since I wasn't sure if there was going to be anything to tell. Quinn was right with one thing... I might not even end up pregnant.
For now, I'll just keep that to myself. No need to light the fuse if there's nothing to blowup.
Pulling my shoulders to my ears, head set forward, I pressed on through the sea of people. A foggy daze filled my mind, Quinn had shown me a side of himself that he kept hidden.
Why would he show me that?
He didn't have to, it seemed like he wanted to.
I can't get him out of my fucking head, every damn day for the past week he's all I've thought about.
Doesn't he know my life is locked?
I'm trapped here, stuck in the only world I know.
And if I ended up getting knocked up by him... My father would have a fucking field day.
There was no way in hell my father would ever let something interfere with his business, or me.
And if Quinn thought he could wriggle his grasp around me, tear me from the Macro; he was dead wrong.
My father wouldn't go down without a fight, he'd do anything to keep me here. I knew everything about the ring, about the nasty men who fought for him, and the scum that made his pockets fatter.
Fuck him! I've done everything I could to make him happy!
Don't I deserve something?
Don't I deserve to live?
I mean shit, I even had to sneak out to come here. If I wasn't working in the bar or at the ring, I was supposed to be home.
I felt like his fucking dog, expected to obey and sit silently, awaiting my next order.
Turning left up Twenty-Third street, the force of a shoulder crashed into my arm. Looking up, my eyes shot open, jaw hanging freely.
There stood Nico, with a crooked smile slinking up his cheek. His greasy hair was loose, nappy strands dangling between his eyes. “Well, look who it is.” His raspy voice turned my stomach, my body cringing on impulse.
I wanted to bolt in the other direction. I didn't enjoy the role he played in my father's world, and what I hated even more was sharing the air between us. “Yeah look who, and look who's still going.” Lengthening my leg, I attempted to keep my pace.
A mangled hand stretched out, gripping my upper arm. “Whoa... Where is your little friend?” he asked, glancing around behind me as if looking for someone.
Narrowing my eyes, my insides burned with hatred. “Don't touch me!” I snapped, yanking myself from his fingers. “Goodbye, Nico.” Rolling my eyes, I shifted away.
“Quinn, where's Quinn? I understand you guys have gotten close, does daddy know about that?” Pitching his words, he talked to me as if I was a child.
“What I do is none of your fucking business.” My hands clenched by my side, nails digging into the palms. I wanted to slap him, and watch his cheek burst with my handprint across it.
“Ooo, sassy little bitch, aren't you? I wonder what daddy would say if he heard his daughter talking to me like that.” A thin, slippery smile pulled up to his eyes.
“Go fuck yourself, Nico. Oh, wait... You already do that, because you're a dirty bastard that no woman would ever touch.” Staring at him with slitting lids, the muscles tensed across my shoulders. “Maybe its time you think about switching sides.”
A soft bell jingled from my purse. That's probably Mia, wondering where I am. Glancing at the bag hanging close to my shoulder, the bell sounded again.
His beady eyes glared at me, grin turning down, lip twisting with anger. “Maybe I should just make a trip to tell your dad right now that you guys had a little play date the other day.�
�� A cold sweat trickled over my ribs, tongue sticking to the back of my throat. “Yeah, that's right. I watched him come strolling out of your place. So tell me, Cadence, do you think the way he fucked you was worth it?”
Cocking my hand back, it flew forward, the loud smack whipping off his skin. I couldn't stop myself, it happened before I even had time to think about it. The sting radiated through my palm, and up my arm.
Nico's face was hard, his head barely twitching from my slap, like a bull being blind sided by a bird. His eyes popped open, brows dipping angrily as his hands balled tightly by his sides.
Bringing his hand up swiftly, I winced on impulse. Reaching for his cheek, he rubbed the flushing area.
If we had been anywhere else other than the crowded street, I think he would have struck me back. I hardly expected he was the type of guy who would hold the standard—men don't hit women—But here, out in the open, with hoards of people eyeing us now, he knew better.
“Bitch.” The only word he mustered out.
I wanted to hit him again, it felt good. I've wanted to do that for a long time. I hated the way he talked down to me all the time, treating me like a piece of shit, just because he knew he was my father's top fighter.
“You had that coming, Asshole.” Noting the bruising still reflecting under his eyes, a twinkle of delight filled my tone. “Nice eye make up you got there.”
“Fuck you, he got lucky.” Shifting his eyes away, he rubbed his jaw.
“Are you just pissed because Quinn might be taking your place?” I asked. I knew that would go up his ass, even though it was a bold-faced lie. Watching Nico's shoulders arch up, eyes wildly searching the air, the thought sinking in he might be getting replaced; it was worth it.
“Fuck you, Cadence.” Raising his finger, he pointed at my face. “I'll be seeing you, you can be sure of that.” He turned and walked away, muscles stiff, stride rigid as he pushed his hair from his face.
I knew I had just really pissed him off.
Was he going to say anything to my father? Maybe.
And for a brief instant, fear settled and knotted its way around my stomach.
Then, Quinn's face emerged behind my eyes, his smooth smile, even smoother skin. The map of ink that drew paths down his flesh, guiding my fingers where to go.
When I thought about the way he touched me, the feeling of safety that he blankets me with, it soothed my insides.
He was more than I had thought, he had secrets that spanned a lifetime.
Secrets that I wanted to learn, wanted to hear.
Secrets I wanted to feel again deep inside.
Looking over my shoulder, I watched Nico fade away into the distance, blending in with the crowd till he was invisible.
Finding my phone, Mia had texted me several times.
Shit, I hope she's still there.
Quickening my pace, my feet crushed the pavement. I was still ten minutes away, but determination got me there in four.
Grabbing the knob, I tugged the door open. The toxic scent of acetone flooded my senses. Glancing around the room, I noticed Mia sitting in a black leather chair against the back wall.
Her bright pink lips turned up, even brighter teeth glowing under the florescent lighting. “Ah, I knew you wouldn't ditch me.” Her pants curled up on her calves, feet resting in a small tub. “Figured I'd get these girls a little attention too, seeing as how you were running late.” Lifting her toes up, she wiggled them with delight.
“Sorry, I got held up.” Shaking my head, tension pulled wrinkles across my forehead.
“What? What happened?” Crinkling her nose with concern, she tilted her head.
“Nico, that's what happened.”
“Ugh! He's still around?” Distaste rode her tongue, face scrunching up tightly.
Nico had a thing for Mia years ago. He followed her around like a puppy dog and teased her like a prepubescent boy. Yanking her hair when her back was to him, cracking sick jokes about the size of his cock, and how much he'd love to show her.
Mia turned him down every time, and Nico hated her for it. He pressed her more and more, each feeble attempt to try and win her over failed miserably.
“Unfortunately, yes.” Dropping my purse to the floor, I pulled my jacket off, and flopped into the chair beside her.
Holding a tall glass of white wine, she motioned for another, and pointed to me. “Yes, please,” I said, exhaustion and annoyance filling my tone.
“How's the old man? Still riding you like a jockey?”
A woman dressed in a long black coat walked towards me, passing me a half-full glass of wine. The woman turned on the hot water to fill my bucket, and I readily kicked off my shoes and slipped my feet in. The warmth massaged my skin, and relaxation quickly followed.
Sipping the glass, I said, “He's the same, things don't change much. Except...” Trailing off, air spilled out behind my lips.
“Except?” she asked eagerly, swirling the drink in her glass. Her bright green eyes glowed with wonder, head leaning in closer just to make sure she could hear every word.
“I have a little crush.” I spoke softly into my glass, the words echoing off inside, enhancing the volume.
“Really? My little Cadence, who swore off men ages ago, has a crush? What does your dad think about him?” Tilting her head back, the remaining liquid sloshed down her throat.
“Come on Mia, what do you think? You know my dad.”
“So, he doesn't know then, huh?” A loose giggle expelled from her lungs.
“No, not exactly.”
“Cadence, you're twenty-three years old. You shouldn't have to hide a boyfriend from him anymore.” Mia eyed me with a sideways glance, a thin brow arching high.
Tapping my forefinger against the glass, my lips pursed tight. “I know, I know. But this one won't fly at all.” Shifting to look at her, I could see she knew why without me even saying it.
“How long has he been fighting for him?”
“Well, he actually isn't, not yet anyway. He said he won't. But my dad is pretty certain he can make him.” Biting my lower lip, fear filled my chest.
I knew what Quinn had said, what he had gone through, he told me as much. But, to know for sure that my dad wouldn't be able to weasel his way into convincing him it's worth his while, I had no guarantees.
He was a man who rolled good cops to his side, made hard working guys empty their bank accounts in one match. Louis Powell was a salesman of his trade, a man who knew how to talk, and how to skim off the top even better.
“So, who is he? Anyone I know?” she asked.
“No, his name is Quinn. He came in the bar last week, and honestly, I can't get him out of my fucking head.” Closing my eyes, my head fell back against the plush chair.
“Have you screwed him yet?” The single question tugged my lip up, smirking as I filled my mouth with alcohol. “Ah, that's my girl. Take him for a test drive before you make the purchase.” She let out a high-pitched giggle, clapping her hands together with her own amusement.
“Mia!” I gurgled out, almost choking on my drink.
“What? I'm just saying, it's good to know what you're getting into. I mean really, what if he sucked in bed? Or... had a small cock? He doesn't have a small cock does he?”
“Mia!” I huffed under my breath. Her eyes angled back, smile spreading from cheek to cheek. Tilting my head, I lowered the glass and said, “He's far from small, okay? Happy?”
I wanted to scream at her that he was the biggest I'd ever had. His cock filled me to the point where I could feel it in my stomach. The way he even looked at me made me drip for him before a single finger even graced my skin.
Damn, the mere thought of his cock, solid and engorged, made me wet right then, just sitting there. He did unbelievable things to me with just his eyes, his scent.
And when he finally tore my panties off, his cock teasing me as it bounced across my thighs, it was worth every inch.
“Yes. Yes I am. Then I think you
should go for it.” Crossing her eyes across the room, she waved the employee over. “Let's get this show on the road. These girls are ready.” Lifting her feet from the tub, she wriggled her toes.
“Please, I'm ready to be pampered.” Holding my hand out, I twisted it side to side, showing the worn, chipped nails.
Squeezing her lips tight, the tiny wrinkles stood up. “Cadence, you know you can come work with me. I'm sure I can get you in.”
“If I could I would, but that's not an option for me right now.” I wished I could just quit the bar, quit the ring, and go on with a life I created for myself.
But how?
I'd be leaving the person I knew at one time had to have some compassion, some form of emotions.
I was still his daughter and he was still my father.
Abandoning him?
I didn't know if I could.
At least not yet.
***
Standing on the street, we hugged goodbye and went our separate ways. Freshly manicured, hot pink from hands to toes, I felt pretty good.
Mia always had my best interests at heart, and she was well aware of how fucked up my life had been. She had tried countless times to get me to work with her, and get me out of my hell.
I just couldn't do it. And why?
Because it was fucking scary to leave the only things I knew.
Stepping out of my comfort zone, that wasn't easy; no matter how much I hated it.
The bar had been my only job, I wasn't able to go to college, and not because I didn't want to. That was a conversation my father ended before I even finished high school.
'We have the bar, you don't need college. Everything you are ever going to need is right here. This will be your legacy. I don't want to hear that question ever again.' Another letdown in my small world, a dream swiped from my hands before taking shape.
Walking cautiously down the sidewalk, I tried not to bump my nails against the top of my sneakers; screwing up the polish less than an hour after getting it done would have sucked.