Shattered Lives Mended Hearts

by Lena Nicole

  “You have a goofy ass look on your face and I want to know why,” she says with some authority in her tone.

  She is now staring at me with her eyebrows drawn together and her lips are in a firm line. I love that Jeremy hits a nerve with her. I think he just might be the right guy to crack her shell, if she’d let him.

  “Well, you’re talking about how ‘annoying’ Jeremy is, but you have a huge ass smile on your face when you mention his name. That tells me that he isn’t as annoying as you make him out to be.” I throw the magazine back at Morgan and catch her off guard as it hits her in the leg.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Morgan says, shifting uncomfortably as she looks away from me.

  “Come on, it’s me you’re talking to. I am the only one who knows about your past and I know you like an open book. I can tell when someone has gotten under your skin, and it seems to me like you have it bad for him. So tell me, what’s the problem? Jeremy is a great guy. I really think he could be the one to get you over your man-hating ways.”

  “Just because I keep things simple in my love life doesn’t mean I have man-hating ways. Besides, why are you trying to put the focus on me when you’re the one with the real problems here?” Morgan picks up her drink and lifts her chin, gesturing for me to take a sip of my cocktail.

  Grabbing my drink, I realize she’s right. I should be focused on my problems, not hers. I need to come up with a game plan for when I get home, because I know people are going to have a lot of questions. Questions I don’t have the answers to.

  Colby comes back and sits down on the lounge chair and picks up her drink. “So what are we talking about?” she asks after taking a sip from her drink.

  “How’s Pierce?” I blurt out. I can tell I caught Colby off guard as her hand stops mid air with her drink in it, but I need to know how he’s holding up.

  “I’m not even going to ask how you knew I was talking to Pierce,” she says as she cuts Morgan a stern look, which doesn’t faze Morgan in the slightest. She brings her drink up to her lips and sips on her cocktail while I am staring at her, waiting for her to continue.

  “He is doing as well as a man could do in this situation. He is worried about you. He thought that you were running away from him, but I explained it was my idea and that you needed time to relax and clear your mind. He’s been calling daily to check up and see how you are doing,” she says with a shrug.

  “You know, you two are really unbelievable!” I yell at Colby and Morgan. I have been trying not to let my anger get the best of me, but this just pushes me over the edge. I can see that they are clearly confused by my sudden outburst as they look at each other and back at me.

  “I’m not sure I’m following,” Colby says.

  “You can take the time to sit here and give Colin and Pierce updates on how I am doing, but when I needed my two best friends to be there for me, you guys just sat back and let me single handedly destroy my life.” I know my outburst is sudden, but I have been waiting for the right time to bring this up.

  “I would hardly say we sat back,” Morgan says in a defensive tone, sitting up.

  “No? Well please then tell me how you helped me. You two knew how I felt about Colin. Yeah, I forgot him and now I feel sick over it. I treated him like shit. But you guys didn’t forget about him – us – so where was that extra push? Because that’s what friends would do, right? Try and help her friend remember her fiancé,” I spit out at them.

  “What did you want us to do, Addison? Force you to kiss him until you remembered him? Make you have sex with him? Lock you in a room with him and not let you out until your memories came back? What could we have done to make you remember him?” Colby says. I can hear the anger picking up in her voice.

  “That would have been better than nothing! I mean, you could have done something, anything, both of you. Instead, you let me just move on with the first guy that came along. I mean, didn’t you even feel at least a little bad for Colin?”

  “Addison, that was your choice to move on. No one forced you to do it. Pointing the finger at us for you falling in love with Pierce is not right. You chose to pursue him, not us.” Colby gets up and walks away, heading to the bar, clearly agitated.

  “Look, I’m sorry, had I known that’s what you would have wanted, I would have tried harder. Both of us would have, but we were just as lost as you were in this. I’m sorry you feel we weren’t there for you the way we should have been, and I promise I will make it up to you and support you in whatever way you need me to in this mess,” Morgan states.

  “I’m hurting Colin and Pierce. I just can’t help but feel that all of this could’ve been avoided. Colin didn’t deserve what I… what we did to him. I paraded Pierce in front of him and he took it, just so he could be near me and not once did anyone say ‘hey, Addison, cut the shit.’ Not you, not my parents. No one.” I let out a sigh, knowing this conversation can’t go on forever. Knowing my point has been made, I choose to drop it and stare out into the ocean.

  “So I guess now would be a good time to ask what you are going to do when you get home?” Colby asks, returning from the bar with three drinks. “A peace offering,” she says, handing me my drink.

  “I have no idea. I don’t even know where to start. Do I run back to Colin and break Pierce’s heart, or do I continue on my path with Pierce and break Colin’s heart again? Maybe it would just be easier to walk away from them both,” I answer as I rub my eyes with the palms of my hands.

  “Date them both,” Morgan says nonchalantly and turns over on the lounge chair to tan her back. I look over at Morgan, not sure I am hearing her correctly.

  “Well Morgan, I can honestly say you never cease to amaze me,” Colby jokes.

  “I’m serious. Addison, you’re looking at this all wrong.” Morgan turns back over and sits up so she can look straight at me. “Sometimes you have to think outside the box. Like take your dog, Ali, for instance.”

  I look over at Colby with a raised eyebrow, not sure where this is going. She shrugs her shoulders at me, just as confused as I am. But the mention of Ali’s name makes me miss her more and I hope Pierce will let me take her for a couple days.

  “Morgan, I think I can speak for the two of us when I say we’re not following you. What can Ali possibly teach me about this situation I’m in?” I ask as I look at her over the rim of my sunglasses.

  Morgan sighs and continues, “Learn a lesson from your dog, Addy. No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that shit and move on.”

  Colby and I burst out laughing. I have to say only Morgan can compare your life to a dog shitting and make it into a lecture on life. I am laughing so hard, a tear escapes my eye. As I wipe it away, I feel relieved that I can laugh again. After our laughing fit dies down, I really think about what Morgan said.

  “I don’t know. I mean, how can I even ask that of them?” I bite my lower lip as I’m actually contemplating this crazy idea she suggested.

  “Well, how else are you going to decide? Pull a name out of a hat?” Morgan says sarcastically.

  Colby surprises me when she says, “I hate to say it, but as crazy as it sounds to you, Morgan has a point. You’ve changed a lot over the past year. What if you just choose blindly and jump back into Colin’s arms, and the new you doesn’t fit in with the old life you guys had?”

  “Besides, if they both want you, which they do, then they will have no problem agreeing to it,” Morgan adds quickly.

  “I agree with Morgan. They both know this is a hard decision for you to make; I honestly think they will both agree, since they both love you and are willing to fight for you,” Colby says.

  “I don’t know, let me think about it. And please, will the two of you not bring this up when Colin and Pierce call in for their updates on me? If, and only if, I decide to do this, they should hear it from me. Now, let’s not talk about this anymore; I want to enjoy our last day in paradise,” I say as I lay on my stomach to tan my back one las
t time before heading home. If my head wasn’t spinning before, it definitely is now.

  I CALL Colby to find out where Addison is. I haven’t heard from her in a couple days and am worried about her. Even though I said I would give her space, I still want to hear from her. I miss her voice.

  “Hey, Pierce, what’s up?” she says in a low tone.

  “Why are you whispering?” I ask in confusion. It’s like she’s hiding something.

  “I don’t want Addison to know I’m giving you updates. She needs time away from you to get her head on straight.”

  “I was just wondering where she is. I still haven’t heard from her and her phone went straight to voicemail when I called today.”

  “Uh, about that. We’re not in town right now,” she says, clearly trying to be vague.

  “Well, where are you?” My eyebrows are furrowed as I think of where she could have gone.

  She clears her throat and says, “We’re in the Bahamas, actually.”

  “Come again?” I ask because I’m sure I didn’t hear that correctly; it sounded an awful lot like she said they were in the Bahamas. That has to be a mistake.

  “I said we’re in the Bahamas,” she says louder.

  “Oh my God, she’s running away from me,” I say as all the air leaves my body. I wasn’t expecting to hear that.

  “No, that’s not it. I convinced her that we should go out of town with Morgan to relax without all the pressure of you and Colin in her face. She needs time to straighten things out. So don’t take it personally and I’ll keep you updated.”

  Bahamas.

  The fucking sand and sun-filled Bahamas is where my fiancé is right now, without me. This is her idea of “space” and I gave it to her. Not that she asked if I cared that she took off, she just went. And now, I’m sitting in a meeting, trying to focus on the numbers from the expansion in New York. What do I do when my life turns upside down? I turn to work. She turns to the Bahamas. Everything seems to be moving along smoothly, as far as I can tell. That’s about the most I got out of this meeting though, because I keep staring off into space, thinking about Addison and the fact that we should be on our honeymoon right now.

  She asked for space to try to figure this out, and I’m reluctantly giving it to her. Temporarily. I haven’t tried calling her while she’s been gone; I’m trying to give her breathing room to process what’s going on. That doesn’t mean I haven’t been keeping tabs on her. I’ve been in constant contact with Colby to see how she is holding up.

  I was, however, surprised to learn that they went to the Bahamas with Morgan to get away. At first I was slightly hurt by it. It’s like she’s trying to get as far away from me as she can. I want her to come to me. I want her to be with me. But that’s kind of impossible to do when she’s off floating around the Caribbean. If this week of relaxation helps clear her mind and make her realize that we belong together, then I’m all for it. Even if I fucking hate it.

  I jump as the door slams. I look up from my portfolio to see the boardroom empty. Fuck, I missed most of the meeting. I start to close my notebook when Garrick’s hand reaches out and stops me. I lean back in my chair and look at my best friend. His features are all wrong for the happy-go-lucky guy that he usually is.

  “Everything okay with Lex?” I ask, although I don’t really want to know what he does with my baby sister, but it’s better than talking about my fucked up life.

  “She good, we’re good. She moved in, you know… with everything.”

  “I figured.” I’m really in two minds here. I don’t want to talk about him and Lexi, but the alternative is to talk about why Lexi had to move out of the condo to begin with, and that’s not something I want to discuss or even accept.

  “Pierce –”

  “Don’t,” I say.

  “No, we’re going to do this, Pierce. You can’t keep this shit bottled up. It’s not healthy. I’m not going to sit back and watch my best friend suffer like this, and while I can’t even imagine what the hell you’re going through, you have to know I’m here for you. I’m so fucking pissed for you that I want to hit shit. And the worst part is the old Pierce is back.”

  “The ‘old’ Pierce?”

  Garrick nods. “The ‘pre-Addison’ Pierce that didn’t sleep and survived on coffee. The one who, even though he was present, was always in a zombiefied stupor.”

  “Zombiefield isn’t a word, Garrick,” I deadpan.

  “It is now, and you’re back in that stupor, for good reason.” He shakes his head. “Let me help, Pierce. It’s what I’m here for. Take a week or two off, hell, take a fucking month. I can finish up the expansion and make sure everything is good in New York. You need time away. You need to depend on me; it’s what I’m here for.”

  He has a point, except for the zombie part. I don’t know what he’s talking about there. I can’t take time off, though. I need the daily rise and grind to keep me focused on anything and everything that doesn’t deal with Addison.

  “Come on, let’s get out of here. There’s a three-finger scotch begging to meet your lips.”

  We leave the office and walk across the street to the pub. He holds true to his word and orders us the scotch. We sip in silence before he says, “So, you gonna stop acting like a bitch and tell me what’s going on?”

  I rub my face roughly with one hand. I am so exhausted and frustrated with this whole situation. “Well, I had an interesting phone conversation with Colby four days ago.”

  “Oh, yeah? What about?”

  “Well, I just learned that they’re all in the Bahamas as we speak.” The glass Garrick is bringing to his mouth halts mid air as he stares at me in shock. “Soaking up the fucking sun, sipping on some cocktails with their fucking umbrellas in them while I’m left here completely fucking miserable. Can you believe that shit?” I take the glass of scotch that is sitting on the bar and down the rest of it. I welcome the slow burn of the amber liquid as it makes its way down my throat. If I focus on the burn and keep this up, I can make Addison and the Bahamas nothing but a foggy memory.

  “So, is she on a solo honeymoon or something? I don’t get it.” He takes another sip from his own drink.

  “The fuck if I know. Colby said she talked her into it to help her think and clear her head. Was that supposed to make me feel better? She’s getting a fucking tan while I’m sitting here, killing my liver.”

  “Maybe it’s a good sign that Colby had to convince her to go, you know?” he shrugs. I lift a single eyebrow at his comment. A good sign? How could her running off to another country be a good sign?

  “I don’t know. It feels like she’s running from me.” I nod my head at the bartender for one more scotch. Once he sets it down, I take a long sip and put it down. I am surprised the edge hasn’t been taken off yet.

  “If Colby had to talk her into going with her, then she’s not running from you. Don’t jump to any conclusions. Since when are you one to make conclusions without all the facts? I know this has to be hard, but try to be positive and talk to her when she gets back. Until then, bottoms up,” he says as he raises his glass. I raise mine and clink it with his. I down the rest of my scotch and slam the glass on the counter.

  “Thank you for this and for earlier. I’m going to head out. I need to get home and feed Ali.”

  Garrick slaps me on the back and says, “No problem.”

  I nod and want to tell him thank you for being a great friend, but my words are caught in my throat. I’ll give him a raise instead. I turn away, only for him to holler my name. When I look at him, he’s shaking his head and running his hand through his hair. If he asks me for my sister’s hand in marriage I’m going to kill him.

  “I almost forgot to tell you, but Lexi said she was going to stop by your place later this evening to check up on you. I just thought I’d give you the heads up, in case you weren’t up to having company. I could always run interference for you and get her to stay away.”

  Rolling my eyes, I say, “Thanks,
I appreciate it, but it’s fine if she stops by.” I haven’t seen my sister since the day of the wedding. I know she and Mom are worried about me, so maybe seeing her will help put some of that to rest. Although, I’m not sure how I’m going to convince Lexi that I’m okay, when I’m anything but. And if Lexi is good at anything, it’s reading me. We’re close and I can’t get anything past her. I let out a huge sigh as I walk to my car, thinking that maybe I should have taken Garrick up on his offer to call her off.

  I’m driving home in my Wrangler. I haven’t driven my Aston Martin since Addison regained her memory. It was her favorite car and we have a lot of memories in it.

  I pack the car quickly before Addison can figure out what I’m doing. I need this to be a surprise. I refuse to tell her where we are going and I know it’s killing her. She always hates when I do this, but ends up loving it once we get there. We pull up to a secluded bluff that has a nice clearing to watch the stars. I pull out some kerosene lamps, place them around a blanket I laid out, and unload snacks and champagne from the picnic basket. The look she gives me when she sees everything I’ve set up is full of love and admiration. I know that if this is the last thing I ever see before I die, I’ll be the happiest man alive.

  Once we finish eating the snacks I prepared, I turn off the lamps so we can see the stars clearly. There isn’t a cloud in the sky and there’s a light, warm breeze coming through, making the night absolutely perfect. We hold each other and talk as we take in the beautiful scenery. We turn our attention toward each other and all talking stops as we start touching, kissing, and feeling. I cradle her in my arms and lay her over the top of the hood of my car. I slowly take off all of her clothes and worship every single inch of her body before making sweet, passionate love to her until neither one of us can move anymore.

  I pull into my driveway and turn off the engine. I lean my head against the headrest and stare at the garage doors in front of me. I thought coming home would get easier, but it’s not. Everything about my house makes me wish I didn’t live here right now. The living room, where our pictures are placed, reminds me of Christmas. The kitchen, where she cooked me breakfast wearing nothing but my white dress shirt from the day before. The bedroom, where just days ago she basked in my arms after I made love to her. I feel like there’s nothing here for me. It’s just an empty shell, a reminder of what my life used to be like before the rug was pulled out from under me.