by Lena Nicole
“It’s not a problem. It’s what I’m here for. Just promise me something,” he asks.
“Anything.”
“Don’t lose yourself in the process of figuring all this out. Be true to yourself and don’t change for anyone. I have no doubt you will come out of this on top and I will support whatever decision you make. But most of all, just be happy.”
I give my dad a kiss on the cheek. “I promise.”
As I am about to leave I turn to my father and ask him the one question that has been bugging me, “Can I ask you one more thing?”
“Shoot.”
“Why weren’t you more assertive when it came to Colin? I mean you and Mom were so willing to just accept Pierce without any questions. Why not try to push me harder to remember him? I don’t understand how you could let me just move on like that. It’s like you guys just didn’t care what I was going through and couldn’t be bothered to help.”
My father gets up from his chair and walks over to me, placing his hand on my shoulder. “Honey, I’m sorry you felt we did nothing to help you, and to hear you say that makes me feel like I let my little girl down. There will never be a time where there is no room for you. You’re our daughter, our only child, and we will always have time for you. When Colin proposed, you were hesitant about everything, even moving in. I’m sorry your mother and I didn’t push you harder. You had so much stress on your plate and you were so unhappy. When Pierce came along, you started to crawl out of the funk you were in, and he even got you to try new things. We thought he was good for you and what you needed to help heal. We had no way of knowing that you guys would develop a serious relationship and get engaged. We just wanted you to be happy, and when we saw Pierce was making you happy, we didn’t want to interfere,” he says, pulling me into his arms.
It isn’t the answer I was looking for, but then again, I didn’t have a specific answer in mind. I can either stay angry at the fact that they didn’t try to guide me to Colin, or I can move on.
“It’s okay, Dad. I understand. I just needed to hear your reasons behind your actions.”
I give my dad another kiss on the cheek and leave feeling a little lighter. I always feel that way after speaking to my father. I just hope I never have to talk about sex with him ever again. That was just plain awkward.
I HAVEN’T seen my mom and dad in at least a month. I think I’ve been staying away because I know they’re going to ask how things are going with Addison. Honestly, I really don’t know what to say, because I still have unanswered questions.
Walking through the front door, the smell of home immediately hits me and puts me at ease. It always smells of cinnamon or baked goods and it relaxes me. Mom and Dad are sitting on the couch watching TV. “Hey,” I say. Walking over to the love seat, I lean over and give my mom a kiss on the cheek before taking a seat on the couch that sits adjacent to her. My dad is sitting in a large chair next to the couch.
“How are you guys?” I ask them.
“We’re good. How’ve you been? I’ve been a little worried about you,” my mom says, turning her attention away from the TV and toward me.
“You know, I’m doing okay.” I’m really hoping they move on and ask me about work or tell me about some trip they have planned, but I’m not that lucky.
“And Addison? How are things with you both?” I had talked to my dad on the phone and told him about Addison’s plan to date both Pierce and me. Looks like he told my mother too. I don’t mind that he told her, but she’s more likely to ask questions, where my dad will keep to himself and let me come to him.
“Um, well I’m not sure how to answer that exactly. I don’t really know where I stand in this whole situation. What if she’s only giving us a chance because she feels bad now that her memories are back? What if her feelings for Pierce are stronger and all of this is for nothing?” I rub my hands over my face and rake them through my hair.
“Son, do you still care about her?” my dad asks me. So much for thinking he wouldn’t ask me any questions.
“Of course I do,” I say, looking away from my mom and over at him.
“Then that’s your answer. If you still have feelings for her, then you need to fight for her. I think you kind of gave up on the two of you the last time around. If this is what you really want, then don’t make that mistake again.”
I think hard about what my dad tells me and Addison’s words resurface in my mind. Did I really give up on us the first time around? It certainly didn’t feel that way, but maybe my actions said differently. I’ve thought of nothing other than us getting back together since the accident. Now that I have my chance, I’m going to make certain that my actions match my feelings.
IT’S BEEN weeks since I’ve spoken to Lexi and finally, after many unreturned calls, she called and agreed to meet me. I’m so thankful she is willing to give our friendship a chance. I know all of this isn’t easy on her brother, which in return, makes it hard on her. She cares deeply for Pierce and if I had a brother or sister, I would like to think I’d react the same way she did.
I asked her if she wanted to grab lunch. I chose a tiny bistro in the heart of the city. I got here early, wanting to make sure that I wasn’t late and holding her up from her day. I watch the door, nervous about how this lunch is going to go. When I see her, her face tells me everything I need to know, she’s uncomfortable.
“Hey,” she says as she takes the seat across from me.
“Hey, how are you doing?” I ask.
“I’ve been good. Just very busy lately, but you know how that goes,” she says before taking a sip of her water.
“So, thanks for coming to meet me today. I appreciate it,” I say, earning a nod from her.
Before we can continue, the waitress comes and asks for our order. We both order a salad and hand the menus back.
“So, how are things with you?” she asks.
“Busy, tiring, confusing. A little bit of everything,” I answer honestly. “I hate how things were left between us. I understand why things are the way they are right now, and I take full responsibility for that, but I just want you to know that I really value your friendship and have grown to love you like a sister.”
“I appreciate your apology, I do, but I’m not really sure where to go from here, Addison,” she replies.
“I get that. I know you support your brother one hundred percent, and if the roles were reversed, I would do the same exact thing. I just don’t want to lose your friendship over this. I feel like I’m losing control over every part of my life and I hate it,” I tell her, glancing down to play with the fork on the table, avoiding eye contact. I’m trying to appear calm on the outside, but in reality, I’m anything but. At times, it feels like I’m desperately clinging to every constant in my life. With the recent issues I’ve had with Lexi and our friendship, it’s just one more thing that’s slipping through my fingers that I can’t control.
“Look, I know you’re going through a shitty situation right now. If you were anyone else, I would be there to listen to how you’re feeling and try to help you sort through this mess. Unfortunately, this mess you’re in involves my brother. I can’t be the friend who listens to you talk about the two guys you’re dating, because it will only piss me off. I most certainly don’t want to see you kissing your ex while my brother is waiting for his turn to take you on a date,” she sighs, heavily. “I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, Addison. I would just rather be honest with you and lay it all out there. If you’re serious about wanting to keep me as a friend, I will try. But I can’t support you on this decision you’re making when it affects my brother,” she says, leaning back in her chair.
I take a moment to sip my water to rid myself of the dryness in my throat. I place my glass down and look Lexi in the eye. “I’m really sorry you had to see that. I still feel awful about that. I don’t want to lose you as a friend, and I will do whatever I have to do to make you feel comfortable being around me. Thank you for trying, it really does mea
n the world to me,” I tell her as the waitress sets our salads down.
While we eat, she fills me in on work and how things with Garrick are going. There’s still a little bit of awkwardness there, but I don’t expect that to go away overnight. Hopefully, in time, we can get back to where we used to be with our friendship.
I LOOK down at my watch.
Ten minutes late.
Just great.
I’m sitting in the open patio area of a little restaurant to meet with Samantha. I’m not surprised that she’s late. That’s part of the little game she’s playing, thinking she has control over the situation.
Over me.
If this was any other time, I would get up and leave, but I need her to understand that the constant texts and calls have to stop.
When I was with Addison the other night, I saw her demeanor change, like she was trying to figure out who was calling and why. I don’t want to keep this from her and make it look suspicious, but I don’t want to upset her either or cause her unnecessary worry.
I call Samantha after dropping Addison off.
“It’s about time you called me,” she purrs through the line. It is kind of late, so I guess she thinks that’s promising. At least that’s the impression I’m getting from her tone. I know this voice of hers all too well. It’s sugary and sweet and laced with sexual undertones. Little does she know that the sound of her voice is like nails scratching on a chalkboard, and definitely doesn’t turn me on.
I roll my eyes before saying, “We need to talk. Can you meet me somewhere tomorrow?”
“Sure. Where and when?”she says, perking up.
I tell her which restaurant and what time.
“I look forward to seeing you, Pierce,” she says.
I give her a curt response and hang up.
Glancing back down at my watch, I notice she’s now sixteen minutes late. Letting out a huff of frustration, I take another sip of my water when I finally see her walking up the sidewalk.
She is definitely dressed like she’s looking for attention—attention that she won’t get from me. She’s in a skin tight skirt that stops at her knees, a sheer top, and spiked heels. I shake my head slightly at her obvious ploy to grab my attention. Too bad I am more repulsed by her than turned on.
She sits down and says, “Sorry to keep you waiting. I got hung up in traffic.”
The waiter approaches our table and I wait to address Samantha until he leaves. Once he does, I say, “Samantha, I’m going to cut to the chase here. I want your messages and phone calls to stop. There is nothing between us anymore. Your messages are inappropriate.”
She studies my face and then licks her lips. “What do you mean they’re inappropriate?” She places her elbows on the table, leaning forward to show off some of her cleavage, resting her chin on her hand.
Quietly, so that the other patrons of this restaurant can’t hear me, I lean toward her and say, “You asked me if I remembered what your mouth felt like. How good it was between us and how hard I used to come. That is inappropriate,” I spit at her.
She takes her finger and trails it slowly down her neck. “It’s not inappropriate if it’s true,” she says while looking up at me through her eyelashes. I am only getting more upset by the minute with her inability to understand that I don’t want her.
“What are you playing at? You’ve shown absolutely no interest in me once you realized I wasn’t going to take you back. Now, all of a sudden, you’re interested? What’s your deal?”
“I’ve never stopped wanting you, Pierce. Surely you know that. Now that you’re single again, I just thought we should give it another shot. What’s wrong with that?” I’ve been single before and she’s never been interested in me. What’s in it for her?
I look her dead in the eyes so she knows how serious I am. “Samantha, I. Am. Not. Single. I’m with Addison. Why won’t you understand that?” I say while tightly gripping the arm rests of my chair.
She scoffs and looks down, drawing circles on her napkin with her finger. “From what I hear, she’s not on the same page as you, since you’re not the only one she’s dating.”
I know she’s antagonizing me and trying to get me fired up, and dammit if it isn’t working. I slam my palm on the table to grab her attention. “I’m only going to say this one more time. Cut the shit. You know we’ve been over a long time and you know I’ll never go back to you. Go back to Max and live your fake life with him. I don’t want you,” I all but growl the last sentence at her. Her gaze drops back down to the table and her lip starts to quiver. Fucking great.
Her tear-filled eyes come back up to meet mine. “I still don’t get why you wouldn’t fight for me like this? We were together for four years, Pierce. Four years. You’ve been with this girl for a quarter of that time. But you let me walk right out of that door while you’re sitting here wasting your time on a girl who claims to love two guys. At least I wasn’t in love with anyone else.” She grabs hold of my hand over the table and leans in. “How do you think that makes me feel?”
I’m grinding my jaw through her little spiel. When she places her hand over mine, I quickly jerk it back. I’m trying to calm down and look over her shoulder, only to see Colby staring at me. No, she’s not staring, she’s glaring. Shit, this must look really bad. She breaks eye contact with me before storming away.
Before I can think too much about damage control, I hear Samantha sniff and I refocus my attention back to her.
“Let me set you straight right now. First, I didn’t let you walk out, I threw your ass out. Second, I may have only been with Addison for a fraction of the time I was with you, but that doesn’t change how I feel about her. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, including you. Ever. Third, did you really just sit here and say you weren’t in love with another man? You were fucking my best friend behind my back! If you weren’t in love with him, then that doesn’t say much about your character. Fourth, I’m fighting for her because she’s worth the fight. And lastly, I don’t want Addison’s name to come out of your mouth ever again. She is none of your business.” With each sentence that leaves my lips, my voice gets louder and louder. I’m drawing attention from the people at nearby tables, but I don’t give a fuck. She needs to see that she is not Addison’s equal and that I want nothing from her.
Samantha is utterly speechless. Her mouth is hanging open in stunned silence as if I just told her the Prada bag she’s carrying was a knock-off. “Now, if we’re done here I really need to get back to work. Stop calling and texting me. I don’t want any contact from you. Period.”
I throw some cash on the table, stand, and leave the patio area of the restaurant.
As I’m heading back to the office, I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I think things have finally sunk in for Samantha this time. At least I hope they did. I need to get a hold of Colby to explain things to her before this all gets back to Addison and blown out of proportion.
I’VE SWITCHED my schedule to days and I’m not quite used to this schedule yet. I’m finding that I’m not a morning person at all. It has been easier on me at night though, when I go out on my dates and it ends up giving me an extra day off. Working days does have its limitations though, it means no long lunch dates with my girls. When I’m at work, I only have an hour when Colby and I can meet for lunch. She said she needed to talk to me and it couldn’t wait. Not sure how long this lunch is going to be, I’m happy I have today off. I pull up to the parking lot and see Colby waiting for me outside the restaurant. We say our hellos and head inside to eat.
“So,” I say as we sit, “what was so important that couldn’t wait ?” I grab a menu and look it over.
“Let’s order and eat first. I can’t think on an empty stomach,” Colby says while looking at her own menu. I kind of want to shake her. She made it sound urgent and now she’s making me wait?
We place our orders and the stone-faced look Colby is wearing tells me she’s fuming about something. I just don’
t know what. “How are Damon and his brother doing? Have things settled since the news of the divorce?” I ask before taking a sip of my sweet tea.
Colby takes a drink of hers before putting it back down with a humph. “I wish. I think the kids are handling it better than the adults.”
“How do you mean?”
“Well, for one, they’re acting like children fighting over a toy when it comes to the house. Neither one wants to move out. They can’t even walk down the hall without arguing who is going to get the vase or collage of the kids growing up. Damon and his brother have to step in and break it up sometimes. I feel bad for his brother being stuck in the house with all that bickering,” she says, looking exhausted just from talking about it.
“Well, if there’s anything I can do for them just let me know,” I say.
Our food comes out and as we start eating, Colby gets a weird look on her face. It shows confusion and concern, a look that probably crossed my face many times when I couldn’t remember who Colin was. “Colby, you’re staring at me. You know I hate that. Whatever is going on in your head, just spit it out already so I can eat my food.” As she snaps out of her daze, I pick up my fork and continue to eat.
“Right, sorry. So how is dating two guys going?” she asks nonchalantly.
“Good, I guess. It’s a little weird at times. I feel paranoid, like people are judging me when I’m out with two different guys, like I’m some kind of slut or gold digger,” I say, a little embarrassed that I just referenced myself as a slut.
“So I know how it works for you, but how does it work for Colin and Pierce?” she questions.
I tilt my head to the side and raise my eyebrows at her. “I’m not sure I understand what you mean?” I question.
Colby clears her throat, “Well, are they allowed to date other people since you are?” I swallow the bite of food I have in my mouth, taking a minute to think about her question. “You didn’t really think about that, did you?” she continues to ask.