“To my place.”
“Oh.”
“Ben just wants you to wait for him there – you don’t haffe look so terrified, girl…relax.” Ivan eyed me again briefly.
“I’m fine.” I tried my best to calm down. Then my head started turning again. “Wait – you said you know what’s going on?” I looked over at him then.
“Well, not really, but like I said, I got an idea,” Ivan explained slowly. “Miguel is Maria’s boyfriend – y’know, Sophie’s mom.”
My jaw dropped. “Maria?” My mind was spinning.
Ivan nodded, pulling the car to a stop in front of a duplex on Adanac. “Yeah…so am thinkin’ somethin’ musta gone down with Maria, and Ben must have taken Sophie.”
“What?” I stared back at him, as confused as ever. “Why would he take Sophie?”
Ivan cut the engine and turned to me. “Like I said, I don’t know, but there’s no way my brother gonna ask me to go pick you up in a public place to get you away from a guy that his own daughter gonna be sleepin’ in the same house with later tonight. Don’t make sense, Gabriela.”
No, it didn’t make sense. And yet I still had a thousand questions.
Ivan looked distracted for a moment and then I saw him reach into his pocket and pull out his phone, which was buzzing. He glanced at the screen and then pulled it to his ear. “Yo…yeah, man, it’s all good…” I saw Ivan glance over at me then. “Safe and sound…awright, cool…”
“Hold up, let me talk to him,” I cut in suddenly.
“She wanna talk to you,” Ivan relayed the message. “Awright, hold up…”
I took Ivan’s phone and pulled it to my ear. “Hey, where are you?”
“I’m just heading into the city.” I could hear the sound of the highway. He sounded tired.
“You’re coming here?” I wanted to know.
“Yes.” He was quiet for a moment. “Are you okay?”
“Yes.” I paused. “Are you?”
There was silence again for another good moment and I waited. I could hear the open road in the background, which was strange. Ben never drove in silence.
“No I’m not,” he answered finally.
Ω
I followed Ivan up the porch steps and waited as he unlocked the front door. “Sorry ‘bout the mess…my kids was here after school today,” he apologized, as he led me into the front landing, which opened up to an L-shaped open-concept living room, dining room and kitchen. There were books and papers strewn across the dining room table but the living room looked more than decent by my standards – sleekly furnished with a brown suede sectional, colourful accent pillows, a massive mahogany wall-unit displaying an impressive amount of books and some strategically placed framed photos and some funky art-work. It was obvious this home had a female touch…
“Nice place…” I complimented him as I kept looking around, spotting a few of Ben’s mother’s framed photographs on the walls as well.
Angela appeared then from around the corner, coming from the kitchen. It was somewhat refreshing to see her barefoot, in a pair of calf-length tights and an over-sized t-shirt, her pretty red hair pulled up into a messy pony-tail and not a lick of make-up on. I wished she always looked like that…
“Hi Gabriela,” she addressed me casually, if not somewhat awkwardly. “Everything okay?” She glanced over at Ivan then. I figured she had already been given a brief run-down of what had happened.
Ivan tossed his keys on the table in the landing. “Yeah, baby, it’s all good,” he assured her easily and then gave her a little kiss on the forehead as he moved past her, heading toward the kitchen. “What you drinkin’, Gabriela?” He called back at me, beckoning the two of us into the kitchen with him.
I followed nervously behind Angela into the kitchen. “I’m fine, Ivan, thanks,” I assured him. “I feel pretty ridiculous imposing you guys like this…” It was nearly 11 pm by then. They may have already been in bed for all I knew.
Ivan just sucked his teeth at that, giving me a little look. “Come on now – you ain’t imposing, I promise you…so what were you knockin’ back at the bar?” He was pulling open the pantry above the refrigerator, which appeared to be a heavily stocked liquor cabinet. “Margaritas? Sangria? Beer? …What’s your poison?”
I couldn’t help a little laugh. “Tequila.”
“Ohhh...wow…it’s ya lucky day…” He reached further into the stack of bottles and pulled out a half empty bottle of Don Weber.
Angela had stepped over to the counter, removing a few dirty dishes and placing them into the sink, but glanced over at Ivan then. “Whoa…seriously?” She gave him a disapproving glance. She looked even more uncomfortable than I felt…
“Relax, Angie,” Ivan dismissed her with a little affectionate smile, and then turned back to me. “Have a seat, Gabriela. If you want, I’ll do one with you.” He set the bottle on the kitchen table and headed back to the cabinet for some glasses. “You toss ‘em back straight, right?”
“Ahhh…I guess. On occasion.” I pulled out a chair. “But I think…I mean…” I glanced back over at Angela then. “Considering the awkwardness of this whole situation, it would probably be a good idea if we all did one…or three,” I added.
And with that, I saw a little flicker of a smile cross Angela’s lips. “Cool. I’m in.” She sank down on a chair across the table from me.
Ω
Along with the three shot glasses, Ivan joined us at the table with a lime, a sharp knife and the salt shaker, deciding we ought to do it right. We all swung back the first round with little trouble, but after tossing back the second, Angela shook her head in discomfort and choked a bit on her wedge of lime.
“Okay. I’m out.”
Ivan laughed. “Aww c’mon, Angie,” he teased her. “You said that before we even started.”
“No, for real, Ivan…” She insisted, still recovering from the tequila. “What’s Ben gonna think when he shows up here and we’re all sittin’ around the table gettin’ tanked?”
It was a good question, I had to admit it myself. I was beginning to feel quite tipsy myself, after the shots I’d already done back at the bar.
But Ivan just sucked his teeth. “Fuck.” He grabbed the bottle and refilled all three glasses. “He can join us…it probably do him some good.”
“Miguel told me Ben was still sleeping with Maria.” I just blurted it out casually as I grabbed a new wedge of lime, rubbed it against the back of my hand and grabbed the salt shaker.
Angela’s eyes went wide at my random outburst but Ivan just laughed and sucked his teeth. “You believe him?” he challenged, taking my cue and following suit with the lime and the salt.
“It’s a pretty wild accusation, I’ll admit that,” I said.
The two of us tossed back the tequila in unison. Angela’s remained untouched.
“Yeah, but do you believe him?” Ivan repeated.
I opened my mouth to answer, but then I stopped myself. I had no idea what I believed anymore. Angela looked like she wanted to say something but was staying silent deliberately. I really wished she hadn’t given up on the tequila so prematurely.
My mind was running in so many directions and had been already for over 24 hours, but the realization that I was now sitting at a table among two people that knew Ben a hell of a lot better than I did was suddenly hitting me hard. Ivan was his brother, his blood, his family – he had been his best friend his entire life until only a few years ago…and Angela…Angela knew him in the most intimate way. Ben had loved her, fucked her, he’d lived with her, he’d wanted to marry her…and here was I. What did I, or could I possibly even know about Ben, that could even hold a candle to the two of these people here in front of me?
Whatever was going on with Ben was a complete fucking mystery to me. Ben hadn’t come to me or confided in me or needed anything from me. He had been there for me in every possible way – when it came to my mom, to the apartment, to Laz – but what good was I to him? I wanted t
o cry…
“Okay, fuck it.” Angela’s voice cut through the silence then, as she apparently had changed her mind, and was downing the tequila in one quick shot. She made a face and set the glass back down. “Ben and Maria were never even that serious. They hung out for a few months – Maria got pregnant and Ben decided to try to do the right thing – it was…” Her voice trailed off for a moment. “It was an attempt on his part of trying to make something out of nothing. He loves his daughter very much, Gabriela, but I would bet my entire Joni Mitchell collection that he’s not fucking Maria.”
Nobody said anything for a good few seconds.
I let my breath out slowly. “You like Joni Mitchell?” It was funny how that was the first thing I processed out of her revelation.
“Of course. Who doesn’t?”
Ivan sucked his teeth at the two of us. “Y’all ladies like to trip out over nothing.”
“Yeah, well, sometimes it’s warranted,” Angela pointed out, and I couldn’t help but think about what she may have been referring to.
Ω
The three of us sat around the kitchen table and polished off the rest of the bottle while we waited for Ben, and the conversation seemed to flow a little more freely as we all got a little hammered in the process.
I decided to ask the questions since I didn’t feel like answering many myself. Angela, I learned, was a nail-tech at a salon on East Broadway – it “paid the bills”, as she put it. I realized that made sense, considering she had a beautifully coiffed french-tipped manicure, which I had been noticing for a while already.
What impresses you in a woman? ...Pretty hands… It was the first thing I thought of when she mentioned it. Why was I so fucking jealous?
She was, however, taking night classes twice a week at UBC, trying to get her degree in social work. It stung a bit. She was actually trying to do something with her life – “make a difference”, as she put it – even though it would never make her rich, but that was what Ivan was for. Ha ha.
Ivan, as Ben had mentioned to me before, was a mechanic and co-owner of Martin’s Autoshop over on East Hastings and Boundary Road. He’d also played professional soccer and was a member of the Whitecaps for four years, but had to retire after fucking up his knee during a playoff match about ten years ago… He coached now, though – some kids at the Grandview Community Club – and his kids both played as well, although Levi was currently more interested in partying, sleeping, chasing girls and just generally “fucking around” than anything else, but hopefully he’d come around again…
Oh, and Ivan was also a vegetarian.
“Well, aside from the occasional piece of fish and maybe some fried chicken,” Angela clarified, chewing on her wedge of lime.
Ivan narrowed his eyes at her and I laughed softly. “I guess you wouldn’t eat Ben’s cooking then,” I said.
Ivan just sucked his teeth. “Depends what he make – am not that rude, y’know…unlike him. He think all vegetarians are a buncha fuckin’ idiots. Those are his exact words – direct quote.”
That made me laugh. “Yeah, I could see him saying that.”
“That’s one thing I miss,” Angela was reminiscing. “Waking up on a Sunday morning and fryin’ up a pan of bacon, drenchin’ it in some maple syrup and watchin’ a Coronation Street marathon on PBS…”
I cracked up laughing but Ivan just sucked his teeth in disgust. “Y’see, that right there is what can keep a lady single for life…if I ever woke up and saw that shit I don’t think I could come home again for at least a month…fi real.”
Angela rolled her eyes at him. “You’d be home by bed-time,” she dismissed him easily.
And then the sound of the doorbell seemed to sober us all up in a heartbeat – or so I thought. Ivan got up to answer it. Angela and I turned awkwardly silent yet again. I waited, listening, as I heard the sound of the front door unlatching, and their voices – muffled slightly by the half-wall separating us.
Ivan was the first to step back into the kitchen, but Ben was right behind him. I felt like I hadn’t seen him in a week but of course it had only been about 30 hours or so. He looked as good as he always did but there was something different about him. Something in his face. In his eyes. As many questions as I had about what was going on – what the hell had happened, was happening, and would happen in the future – I was starting to become afraid to know.
He nodded his chin at the empty bottle of tequila and all the juiced and sucked up lime wedges strewn across the table. “What’s all this?”
“Just did some shots to ease the tension. You want one?” Angela offered, even though the bottle was empty.
“No, not really.” Ben glanced at me then.
“So you waan tell us w’happen or what?” Ivan cut to the chase. “Where’s Sophie?”
Ben dropped down onto the kitchen chair next to me and leaned over the table, holding his head for a good ten seconds. “Fuck…” He let his breath out suddenly and then just leaned back in the chair. “She’s at my place. Adam and his girlfriend are stayin’ there with her until I get back.”
“Where’s Maria?” Angela asked.
“I have no fuckin’ idea.” Ben was quiet for a moment. “I picked Sophie up from school yesterday because Maria ask me to take her and…Sophie – she just start tellin’ me all this shit about how she doesn’t waan go home – why can’t she just come live wit me and I just don’t even know what to say – she never talk like that before so…I told her we should take a walk to the duck pond on Granville Island, y’know, I figure she likes it there and maybe she’ll open up more so I can figure out where the fuck all this is coming from…she starts goin’ on about Miguel, y’know – ‘He’s always mean to me’, ‘He tells me I’m bad and he doesn’t like me’…I ask her if he ever hit her or hurt her and she says no… ‘but he hits my mommy all the time’…”
“Aww…hell no…” Ivan sucked his teeth, cutting Ben off in mid-sentence. “Fuck that shit, Ben – let’s go. That motherfucker probably still sittin’ gettin’ pissed at the bar right now.”
“Ivan, are you crazy?” Angela piped up immediately.
Ben just sucked his teeth. “Believe me…it crossed my mind.” He paused. “After she told me that I just took her straight back to Pops and Sally – I know that fuckin’ prick works nights so I go straight to Maria’s place. She don’t wanna open the door, y’know, she keeps the fuckin’ chain on and tells me she’s sick and I just keep telling her I know what’s going on, I know because Sophie told me, and so eventually she lets me in and…” His voice trailed off then, and he just shook his head slowly. “I never seen anything like that in my life…fuck, I mean…she was just covered in bruises…black eye…fuckin’ handprints on her fuckin’ arm…seven months pregnant. She’s crying…sobbing…I just start beggin’ her to just leave, to come with me, to get the fuck out of there, to call the police – at that point am almost in tears myself, am practically on my knees just pleading with her…I don’t even give a fuck anymore…until…I don’t know…somehow eventually she agrees so I help her pack a bag and she comes with me and I take her home with me…she wants us to pick up Sophie but I won’t do it ‘cause I can’t have her see her like that…and by this morning he’s already calling her. She promised me she wouldn’t answer – she won’t talk to him – but not more than like two hours later I hear her in the bathroom, I guess she called him or something…Sally took Sophie to school so I told Maria to just sleep and rest and not to fucking leave – I wouldn’t be gone long, and I promised her I’d bring Sophie back after school, but…” He shook his head slowly. “By the time I got back from seeing my lawyer she was already gone. Haven’t seen her since.”
Listening to him sent a cold shiver up my spine but I did my best to stay composed. “I don’t think she went back to him – not yet anyway,” I said then. “At least that’s what Miguel told me. That she was with you.”
Ben looked at me, just taking in my words in silence.
“Ben, right now you can’t worry about Maria – she’s a grown woman, she’s gonna do whatever she wants,” Angela said then. “You can’t change that, you just have to make sure you keep Sophie safe.”
“What your lawyer say?” Ivan wanted to know.
Ben didn’t say anything right away, just stared straight ahead. “I told him I want full custody – emergency petition or something – I don’t know, he workin’ on it for me. We never did have anything set up legally so he said that will probably make things easier for me.” He was quiet for a moment. “The last thing I’d ever want is to keep Sophie from her mother but what other fuckin’ choice do I have? Even as she sat there with me last night – black and blue and completely fucked up by that Puerto Rican piece-a-shit – she still tried to make excuses for him…tellin’ me he never did anything like this before…he’s just stressed…he drinks too much…he’s gonna get help – fuck.” Ben sucked his teeth in disgust. “You know, you right, Ivan – let’s me an’ you go help that motherfucker right now…” He pushed his chair back suddenly, moving to get up.
I was near panic now.
“No!” Angela said again. “You can’t do that! What you gonna do? Go beat him up and get both your asses thrown in jail? Then what happens to Sophie, huh?”
“Ahh…fuck it…” Ivan groaned in obvious reluctance. “You know, she right Benjamin. But if you waan I can just go take him out myself – I don’t mind.”
“Stop it, Ivan.” Angela again. “No one here is thinking clearly right now.”
The images rolling through my head in that moment, however, seemed clear as day. I must have been about Sophie’s age – maybe a little older – and we were in the thick of the summer heat in Sao Paulo – only a few weeks after New Year’s, as I still had the bright yellow feathered boa my mother bought me at the fireworks celebration in town wrapped around my bedpost. Lazaro and I were in our bedroom, both of us in just our underwear as we lay on our twin mattresses that were stripped bare of even a sheet to cover us, the small electric fan our mother had circulating along the wall doing nothing but assaulting us with an even heavier wave of that sticky humid air. Neither of us could sleep. The sound of Raoul’s drunken voice vibrated straight through the concrete walls. The smack of his hand hitting flesh. My mother’s sobs…
Love Is Overdue Page 32