The band was another two songs in before I spotted that familiar face and that gorgeous body of his across the room. My heart stopped for a short moment but then of course, as it had happened so many times in the past, I had yet again been fooled by Ivan. He was busy talking with a couple people near the bar – no Angela in sight.
I sucked my breath in and turned back to the stage. Adam was addressing the crowds of people and the small, yet fully packed dance floor in front of the stage.
“Hey, how’s everyone doin’ tonight?” he called out.
The crowd was going wild.
“This one’s called ‘Simmer Down’ – y’all don’t simmer down, though, I want you to sing this one with me…all right…”
And the band started back up again to the beat of the classic Skatalite’s track, and my eyes went back to scanning the crowds. I didn’t get it. We’d been there now for over half an hour and there was no fucking sign of him. Why wouldn’t he be here already after going to all the trouble of making sure I showed up? I turned to Corinne but she didn’t look bothered – she was too busy grooving to the music and probably coming down off her high. She’d tried to get me to smoke up with her in Grandview Park on our way to the bar but I’d held off, needing to stay clear-headed.
I got her attention then and gestured toward the bar, deciding to venture through the crowds and over to the ladies room. It took me a while though, as I was not very pushy in these situations and tended to inch my way through, unlike the tipsy girls that kept barreling me over as they tried to get closer to the stage or the bar, depending on whether or not they had a full drink or were running on empty.
Like the bar itself, the restrooms were also crowded, but eventually I made it to the sink and began to freshen up – reapply my lipstick and check on my hair.
One of the girls Geneva had been dancing with was next to me at the vanity adjusting her bra ackwardly in the mirror.
“You have amazing hair – oh my God,” she addressed me then.
I was usually complimented on either my hair or my shoes by drunk girls in restrooms, but then again, everyone had their thing.
“Thanks,” I smiled back politely.
“Hey Neva, hurry up!” she shouted out toward one of the closed bathroom stalls.
And then I heard the toilet flush and Geneva stepped out of the stall, adjusting her mini-skirt and sauntering over toward the vanity in her five-inch stilettos. Her hair was picked out into a massive afro of defined curls that framed her gorgeous features beautifully. She looked a lot like the one framed photograph Ben had in his bedroom of his mother as a young woman – taken sometime in the seventies, wearing some high-waisted skin-tight bell-bottoms and a tight yellow t-shirt, sporting an afro that would have put Angela Davis to shame.
She caught my reflection in the mirror and smiled when she saw me. I wouldn’t have thought she would recognize me, considering we had only met once briefly at the festival that summer, and it caught me a little off-guard.
“Hi…sorry, I forgot your name,” she apologized as she went to grab some soap.
I nodded. “Gabriela,” I reminded her, and then I decided to be bold. “You’re Ben’s sister.”
She nodded. “Yes. Where he at – do you know? I was hoping to catch up with him tonight but I can’t seem to find him.”
You and me both, I thought to myself. “I don’t know,” I admitted.
“Oh well…” She was busy in the mirror, fixing her make-up. “I’m sure he’ll turn up. Tracy, I need a tampon for later – you got one?”
Ω
I tried my best to make my way back over to find Corinne, but the mobs were unforgiving. I stopped at the bar for another round and turned back to the stage just as the band was finishing up another song. Then as the crowd was busy with their applause I noticed Adam toss the mic over to someone out of view and then turn back to the crowd.
“Special treat for y’all now,” I heard him mumble into his mic and then turn to the band.
The haunting familiar voice singing the acapella intro seemed to come out of nowhere – off-stage somewhere. Ben’s voice. A cover of Desmond Dekker’s ‘Israelites’…I caught my breath and strained to get a better look. Then as the band started up I saw him jump up on stage and heard the crowds let out a massive cheer. I stopped dead in my tracks and just stared…just watching. As he was on his cooking show, Ben was charismatic as hell on stage – and his voice – only he could have pulled off the harmonies of that song, no one else had the range…but as I’d noticed the other night I’d watched him sing some songs with the band, he held back from the crowd – he was too into the song, too into the music. But his body felt the beat – you could tell, you could feel it…
And fuck, he looked good. He was just dressed simply in a pair of sexy black jeans and a plain white dress shirt, only half-tucked into his belt, his dreads tied back – the only embellishment being his Armani watch and maybe his Gazelles. He didn’t really look out into the crowd much, and if he did it was just into the front row and onto the dancefloor. I fell back against the wall near the back of the room, hiding in the crowd…and just watched him. The man I loved. Where the hell had he been all this time?
“Yeah…” Ben let his breath out slowly, as the band wound down and the mobs started cheering their faces off, begging for more.
“Gabby!” Corinne was beside me suddenly, looking animated and excited. “There you are! Mystery solved. Your man’s on stage!”
I just nodded, not able to avert my eyes from Ben. He was next to Adam then, they were talking briefly, and then Ben was back – center-stage yet again – obviously about to start in with another song. His back was to the crowd, though, as he was still chatting with the band.
“Benjamin!”
“Give us some more, baby!”
I heard the crowds shouting out then – it was obvious the fans knew who he was and were excited about the prospect of another song from him.
Then, just like that, he turned to the audience, and his eyes fixed on the swarms of faces in front of him. I held my breath. And suddenly, after no more than about five seconds scanning the crowds, his eyes fell directly on mine – all the way in the far corner of the room near the bar.
My eyes went wide as I just stared right back at him in shock.
“Gabriela…” His voice poured out so smoothly, as he just stared me down. “Don’t look so surprised – you know I could spot your face in a sea of a thousand different women…”
I nearly choked on my drink.
“This is for you,” he said softly.
“Holy…fucking…shit…” I heard Corinne exclaim in disbelief but I refused to acknowledge it. I couldn’t. I was basically stunned into a complete cathartic trance.
And within seconds the band started up again and the melody nearly made me fall to my knees. Ben kept his eyes glued right on mine.
And I just stared right back at him as I fought back the tears, as him and the band gave me their own heart-wrenching, beautiful rendition of Gregory Isaacs’ ‘Love Is Overdue’ – and I just stood there and listened, taking it all in - the people, the crowds, the noise around me becoming a vast sea of nothingness. I only heard him – his voice, the music – and stared right back into his beautiful eyes. It was all I could do. It was all I wanted to do. It was all I needed.
Corinne was nudging me, knocking me back into reality – the last place in the world I wanted to be right then. “Holy shit, Gabby…”
The song was over but I still couldn’t move. Ben was fixing the mic back up onto the stand. His eyes were right back on mine again. “Yes, people...y’all are amazing …peace and love. Respect.” He gave the crowd a little salute with his two fingers and with that, he jumped off the stage and disappeared back into the crowds.
I started to panic. Where was he going? What if he disappeared again for good? I was losing it. My heart was racing.
Corinne was dragging me back through the crowds and over to the bar. “I think
you need another drink,” she explained, as I heard the band start up again.
No, I needed Ben. He was all I needed, all I wanted…
“Two Long Island iced-teas!” Corinne was shouting out at the bartender. “It’s on me!” She waved me off as I started to reach for my purse.
I couldn’t speak. My eyes just kept scanning the faces around me, the throngs of people that just kept blocking my view. Maybe if all these faces and bodies would just fucking disappear, I could finally find him – I could finally have him there next to me. Where was he? Why wasn’t he coming to find me? After all the trouble he’d went to, after everything he’d planned and carried out, trying to get me here…why was he staying away? Why?
Corinne handed me my drink and when I turned around I saw Ivan stepping up to the bar. I caught his eye and he just shook his head slowly, a slow smile spreading across his face. “Damn, girl…”
“Ivan…have you seen Ben?” I shouted out over the music.
He lowered his eyes at me then. “Yeah…on stage…didn’t you?” He looked amused as hell.
“Well…yeah…”
Ivan sucked his teeth. “He got it bad, girl…make sure you let him down easy...”
My eyes went wide in shock. “What?”
He was still chuckling to himself. “Am just playin’…don’t worry yourself, am sure he’ll find you…” And then he turned to the bartender. “Yow…Corona an’ lime…”
Fuck. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I needed some air.
“I’ll be right back!” I shouted over to Corinne then, who had started up a conversation with some guy who’d been eyeing her as we waited in line to get to the bar. I handed her my drink and turned to survey my options.
Making my way back through the chaos of the bar to the front door seemed too daunting so instead I turned and headed towards the restrooms, remembering the back entrance where Ivan had picked me up in the alley. The cool night breeze hit me immediately as I stepped out the door, the music fading away behind me.
I glanced to my right and saw a small group of people sharing a joint so I turned left instead and leaned up against the side of the building and pulled out my phone. Maybe I should text him, I thought absentmindedly, but then I decided against it. Ivan was right. Ben would find me.
Not ten seconds after I had tried to conjure his presence up in my mind the back door swung open and there he was. Just like that. I nearly fell over, but instead I just sucked my breath in and watched as he turned to his right and then left and then locked his eyes right on mine and began making his way slowly over to me.
He smiled at me and it just warmed me all over. “There you are.”
I didn’t know what to say. “Hi.” It was all I could manage.
He stopped right in front of me. “Hi.”
“Houdini…” I let my breath out slowly.
He laughed softly, not taking his eyes off me. “You been lookin’ for me?”
“Hey Ben!” Someone from the group of pot-smokers was calling out to him then. “Want a hit off this?”
Of course, I thought. It was just like Ben to know everyone. Some things never changed…
Ben averted his eyes from me briefly. “Nah, man…I’m good.” And then he just turned right back to me.
“Wow. It’s not like you to turn down a free hit.”
“It’s not like me to do a lot of things…but somehow I still been doin’ them,” he admitted softly.
“Like what?” I wanted to know.
He raised those sexy eyebrows at me, making me flush. “You want a list?”
“Maybe.”
“Hmm…” He thought for a moment, and then took another step closer to me. “How ‘bout just the most important one?” he asked softly. He sounded so serious.
“What is that?” I wanted to know, my heart beating furiously.
“Missing you so much I can’t fall asleep at night.”
I didn’t say anything right away. I just stared back at him. “That’s it?”
He shook his head slowly. “No.”
“What else?”
His eyes stayed fixed on mine as he reached out and pushed a lock of hair from my eye. “Baby, I want you back...”
I waited again. “That’s it?” I whispered.
He sucked his teeth softly. He placed the palms of his hands on the brick wall on either side of my face and stared down at me. “Gabby, I’m so in love with you I can’t even think straight anymore…”
I sucked my breath in and bit my lip.
“I don’t want you back…I need you back…or I may never sleep again.” He paused, his eyes like two black pools without a ripple in sight. I saw my own reflection staring back at me.
“How is that?” he wanted to know.
I swallowed. I still had no words.
“You not gonna say nothin’?”
I just shook my head slowly.
Ben pulled each of his hands slowly from the wall and brought them to my face, caressing my cheeks so tenderly as he sucked his breath in. “I could get used to that,” he whispered so softly, as his mouth met mine and he just started kissing me so deeply – so fucking intensely – just swirling his tongue around mine and pulling me in like he was never going to let go. I couldn’t help but let out a soft moan, as my whole body seemed to just melt against that wall.
“Oh shit…” I gasped as he pulled back slowly.
“Mmm…” He laughed softly, still stroking my cheeks with his thumbs. “I knew it wouldn’t last,” he whispered.
“Why should I believe you, Ben?” I whispered then, having finally found my voice, my heart just racing in circles.
He sighed softly, giving my question some serious consideration. “You saw what I did in there, right?” he asked softly. “Harassed you with those fucking flyers all week…you watched my video too, didn’t you?”
I sighed. “Yeah…typical fucking narcissist that you are…mention me only at the very end…only you would have the gall to think I would sit and watch the whole twenty minutes…”
He just smiled back at me. “I was right, though.”
“Yeah, I guess you were.” I just stared back at him. “How did you even know I would be here? I mean, with my mom and everything else, how did you expect me to just show up here like this?”
“I didn’t,” he admitted. “Well, at first, but…I tracked Corinne down. She was really helpful…plus she know how to get her hands on some good shit – am surprised the connections some of you white girls got, for real…”
My eyes went a little wide. “What?” I was so confused. “So you guys are like smoke buddies now? How long has this been going on?”
He smiled at the expression on my face. “Not long, baby.”
I let my breath out, my heart rate just quickening again with the way he was looking at me. “I just…I can’t believe you did this.”
His smile faded. “I know you, Gabriela.” He traced my eyebrows with his fingers, still holding my face. “I spent a long time tellin’ you and tryin’ to convince myself we just going with the flow, right? Wait an’ see w’happen and whatever else…well, fuck…this is what happened. I love you.”
I caught my breath. “Took you long enough,” I whispered.
“This isn’t easy for me, baby.” He looked so serious. “I can’t help how I feel about you. I tried really hard. The timing fucking sucks…” He sighed, still holding my face between his hands, gazing right into my eyes…into my soul… “I could give you million reasons why I shouldn’t be in a relationship, Gabriela…and only one reason why I should.”
I swallowed, my heart sprinting the hundred-meter dash. “What is that?”
He smiled at that. “You’re not listening to me, are you? Because I love you,” he whispered so softly.
I could feel my eyes welling up. Third time’s the charm, I thought to myself…
“I’m so sorry, baby…” He bit his lip, staring down at my mouth again, as his thumb ran across my bottom lip…and th
en he sighed softly. “Those white boys are starin’ at us, aren’t they?”
I sucked my breath in and couldn’t help a little laugh. “I don’t wanna look.” I lifted my hand up then, running my fingers over his beautiful face. “I been looking for you for too long, Ben.”
He smiled at that, and then just kissed me again so tenderly. “Let’s get the fuck outta here, Gabby.”
Ω
I lay on my side in Ben’s bed and turned and observed him, as he sat naked, leaning forward in the lounger against the wall, rolling up an after-sex blunt, his dreads hanging loose and falling over his shoulders as he focused on his task. His dark, smooth silhouette seemed to glow in the moonlight pouring through the bedroom window, like a statue of a Nubian god.
After he’d gotten out of bed he’d switched the music on his iPod, and some Jack Johnson started humming softly out of the speakers on his dresser. His varied taste in music always surprised and impressed me at the same time. It was definitely fitting the mood since we’d spent the past hour making love to Nina Simone’s greatest hits…
I smiled. “I like watching you.”
He lifted his eyes then and I caught a glistening glimpse of his tongue as he licked the seal. “You gonna smoke this with me, baby?” he asked softly. Seductively.
I shook my head slowly. “No.”
“Hmm…” He lit up then, and I watched a billow of smoke encircle him in the afterglow. And then he leaned back slowly against the back of the padded chair and reached between his legs with his free hand, pulling up on his cock slowly as he stared back at me, teasing me silently, and feasting on my bare breasts through the piercing slits of his narrowed eyes.
After one more long pull on his joint he was rock hard and throbbing for me.
I sucked my breath in in approval. “That’s impressive,” I whispered back.
He smiled at me, ever so slightly. “You see what you do to me?”
I felt myself squirm, just watching him stroke it so slowly. “Just keep doing that,” I insisted, in little more than another whisper.
Love Is Overdue Page 37