by Katie Ruggle
“She’s been here almost three months.”
Otto’s stomach clenched. He knew where this conversation was leading. Suddenly, Nan’s reluctance to speak made sense.
“I know you’ve been working with her a lot—almost daily—but she’s just not making much progress.” Nan’s voice was gentle, but her words still made Otto stiffen.
“She is making progress,” Otto said, keeping his voice even with some difficulty. “She wouldn’t even look at me when she first arrived, much less take any food out of my hand. Now, she’s coming out of her shelter willingly, and we’re working on her touching her nose to my hand. She just wagged her tail at me!”
Despite his best effort, his voice rose on the last words. Immediately clamping his mouth closed, Otto gave himself a mental lecture. He needed to stay calm and rational. Xena was special to him, though. She reminded him of a much-younger Otto, before he’d been fostered by the Lopez family—an Otto who’d learned to keep his head down and who’d gotten very good at dodging fists.
“I know she’s making some progress.” Nan’s expression was apologetic. “It’s just not enough progress. There are two malamutes coming in tomorrow that got left in a foreclosed house after the owners moved away, and I need that space. I just don’t have the room for Xena anymore, not when it’s probably going to take another year to get her to the point where she can be adopted. I called the pit bull rescue in Fort Collins, but they have a waiting list. I’m stuck, Otto.”
Otto looked at her resolute face and knew that she’d made up her mind. Nothing he said was going to budge her. He knew, though, that he couldn’t abandon Xena when she had nowhere else to go. “I’ll take her.”
“What?” Nan looked surprised, as if she hadn’t been expecting him to offer. “Are you sure?”
He wasn’t sure whether taking home a fearful pit bull mix was a smart idea, not when he had the puppies to bottle-feed and Sarah to guard and skeleton-staffed night shifts to cover, but it was the only option. He wasn’t about to give up on Xena. “Yes.”
After Nan eyed him for several moments, her shoulders sagged and she leaned back in her seat. “I’m so relieved. I hate turning any dog away, but there are just so many kennels and only so much time.”
Otto dipped his head in acknowledgment, but he was anxious to go. The thought of Sarah had awakened the anxiety he’d pushed back before working with Xena. He needed to get home, to check on her, to make sure everything—and everyone—was okay. Now, he needed to get Xena to her new home, too.
“Leash?” he asked, reaching for the doorknob.
“Here.” Nan pulled one off a peg on the wall and handed it over. “Sorry about this, Otto. If there was any other way…”
“Not your fault, Nan,” he said truthfully. “Like you said, there’s only so much room.”
Leash in hand, he made his way through the kennel, not even hearing the volley of barking this time. Otto was too busy trying to figure out how he was going to save everyone he was now responsible for. If he screwed up and dropped one of the many balls he was juggling, someone could get hurt—or killed.
* * *
It was hard for Sarah not to run out to greet Otto when he got home, but she managed…barely. It had been a long night. She’d slept a little in the safety of the bunker, but the cot had been hard and narrow—especially since she was sharing it with Mort and Bob.
Instead, she focused on scooping the egg mixture into tortillas. She’d gathered eggs out of the nesting boxes in the chicken coop earlier, getting a thrill with each egg she’d found. It was such a simple thing, but it felt so much more rewarding than pulling a carton of store-bought eggs from the fridge.
Otto’s kitchen was well-stocked, and she’d had no problem finding all the ingredients for breakfast burritos, plus fresh fruit she’d cut up. Sarah had always enjoyed cooking. It centered her and calmed her racing thoughts. Now, though, with everything that was going on, she knew it’d take a lot more than just throwing together some breakfast burritos to give her peace.
“Morning,” Otto said, standing right at her elbow.
Sarah jumped, bumping the plate on the counter in front of her. Even though she’d seen Otto’s truck pull up and knew he was there, she’d expected to hear him walk in. “Oh! Wow, you’re stealthy.”
“Yeah.” Otto snuck a piece of orange and popped it into his mouth. “Hugh tells me that all the time. Says I’m part Paul Bunyan and part ninja.”
Sarah smiled. “That’s actually a really good description. Are you?”
“Am I what?” he asked absently, his attention focused on stealing another piece of fruit.
Sarah put the plates on the table. “Part Paul Bunyan and part ninja.” When he just shrugged slightly, she asked, “What were your parents like?”
“Not sure.” Although his words lit a fire under her curiosity, she had a feeling she shouldn’t push any further. “Breakfast looks great. You didn’t have to cook, though.”
She accepted the subject change easily as they both started eating. She of all people understood not wanting to talk about family. “Figured I’d pay you back for lunch and dinner yesterday—well, partially pay you back.” Everything was made from his groceries, after all. “I’m going to town tomorrow to do some shopping and look for a job.”
Otto paused, his forkful of food halfway to his mouth. “To town? That’s not safe.”
“Why?” It was Sarah’s turn to stop eating as she stared at him, worried. “Did someone see Logan? Has he been hanging around?”
“No, but it’s better if you stay here, just in case.” He resumed eating, but Sarah laid her fork carefully on her plate.
“All the time?” She hadn’t left one prison just to live in a second. “I can’t do that. I sold some of my jewelry, so I have a little money, but it’s not much. I need to find a job.”
His brows drew together as his mouth tightened with resolve. Even his chewing was resolute. “You don’t need money. Whatever you need, I’ll get it for you. It’s safer here.”
Sarah knew Otto was just looking out for her, but the restriction chafed. “Thank you, but I need to start working. Aaron’s been arrested, and Logan’s long gone. It’s safe enough in town, especially with you, Theo, and Hugh right there if I need help. I’ll go crazy without anything to do all day, and I can’t mooch off you until I leave Monroe.” The idea made her cringe.
“You wouldn’t be mooching,” he argued. “You can help with the animals and…” He paused, looking around as if searching for something else to suggest. “Cooking. This is really good.”
“Thank you, but I need to be independent. It’s important.” Her tone was firm, shaking just slightly, even though her stomach churned. She’d never stood up to her father or her brother. Despite Otto’s gentle manner, it was still terrifying to hold her ground.
He frowned at her before stabbing another bite of burrito with his fork. “Fine, but I’m going with you.”
“To work? Every day?” Sarah stared at him. That sounded strange and uncomfortable and frankly unworkable. How would she tell a potential employer that she couldn’t be separated from her bodyguard? It would be like trying to get a job with Jeb in tow, except that Otto was much more attractive, and kinder, and, Sarah assumed, a much better kisser.
At the thought, her face grew warm with what she was sure was a bright-red blush.
“No.” His word came out grudgingly, as if Otto was wishing there was a way he could follow her around all the time. “Tomorrow. I’m going with you tomorrow. We’ll work something out for the rest of the time. One of us needs to be able to get to you quickly if you need help.”
“Okay.” It was such a relief that she hadn’t gained a new constant bodyguard that she didn’t even argue. Honestly, she didn’t really want to argue. It’d be reassuring to have Otto around as she ventured into public for the first time since A
aron had appeared, and she was perfectly happy having multiple cops close by. “We can go right after breakfast so we’re back before your bedtime.”
After Otto’s grunt of agreement, they ate in silence for a few minutes. Finally he said, “There’s a new dog in the barn. I’ll introduce you after breakfast. If she does okay with you and the other animals, we’ll move her into the house.”
“A new dog? From where?”
“A rescue from Nan’s. She’s out of space and getting more dogs.”
“It’s sad that there are so many homeless dogs.” Sarah was perfectly fine with having another companion for the lonely nights, although she’d have to push two cots together if they all ended up in the bunker again. It had been tight enough with only Mort and Bob joining her. “Are we going to pick up the puppies while we’re in town, too?” As much work as they were, she’d missed them.
“Yeah.” The word came out as a sigh. Otto looked tired. “The kids have school tomorrow, and Theo and Jules probably want a full night’s sleep.”
As she finished her breakfast, a warm curl of excitement pushed away the nerves that had been wearing at Sarah’s insides since fleeing Texas. It was fun—thrilling, even—to be staying with Otto and his ever-expanding collection of pets and the possibility of more kisses and the prospect of a job—her first ever. Best of all was that she’d stood up for herself, and he hadn’t slapped her down or insisted she stay at home or anything.
Despite everything, her new life was starting to take shape, and it was amazing.
* * *
“She’s very shy,” Otto warned a little bit later as they walked toward the barn. “I’ve been working with her for a couple of months, and it still takes a lot of time and treats to get her to come to me. She’ll let Sam approach her and leash her—Sam has a way with all the dogs—but she’ll still try to run from Nan if she’s able.”
“Okay,” Sarah said. “I’ll try not to scare her.”
“I don’t want you to be upset or think that you’re doing something wrong. It’s just how Xena is. Her previous owner caused a lot of damage.”
“What happened to her previous owner?” Sarah ducked into the barn with a shiver of relief. The wind seemed even sharper than it had the previous day.
“County jail.” Otto closed the door behind him and flicked on the lights. Despite the multiple bulbs, it still took Sarah’s eyes a moment to adjust to the dimness. “He was denied bail, since he’s skipped out on it before, so he’ll be locked up until his trial for dogfighting and a number of other charges. He’s a…” He paused. “He’s not a nice guy.”
“At least he’s paying for his crimes.” Sarah peered at the opening to the wooden doghouse and saw the quick flash of a light-colored muzzle as Xena peeked at them and then disappeared back inside. “I imagine that doesn’t happen often with these cases.”
“No, it doesn’t.” Otto gestured toward a few hay bales stacked against the wall. “This might take a while. Want to sit?”
Although the top bale looked a bit prickly, Sarah settled on it. It was more comfortable than she’d expected, since her jeans protected her from the scratchy hay. Scooting back, she leaned against the wall while Otto sat next to her. With his leg just a few inches from hers, Sarah couldn’t stop thinking about all the “roll in the hay” jokes. There was something wrong with her. Every time she got close to Otto, all her thoughts instantly went to sex. It was like he short-circuited her brain.
She cleared her throat, needing to change the direction of her thoughts before she overheated or blurted out something very, very inappropriate. “Do you think I’ll have any luck finding a job? I know that a lot of places are closed for the winter.”
He made a low humming sound. “True, but most of the employees have left. The places that stay open are short-handed. What kind of job are you looking for?”
“Anything really.” Although she hated to sound like a spoiled princess, she wanted to be honest, especially with Otto. “I’ve never had a job before.” She braced herself, waiting for his judgment, but he just made another of his humming sounds.
After a short pause, he said, “Since you’re flexible about the type of job, that’ll open up some options for you.”
Sarah looked at him, studying his profile as she wondered why she’d ever been worried about Otto being rude or condescending to her. He just wasn’t that way. Everything she’d heard him say had been thoughtful and kind. Even though she barely knew him, she felt like she could trust him. She understood why animals gravitated toward him. After all, she certainly felt his magnetic pull. “You’re such a good person.”
He glanced away. “Not really.”
“Yes, really.” When she saw how uncomfortable his shrug was, she changed the subject. “Have you always had a way with animals?”
“Pretty much.” He was quiet for a few moments, long enough that she thought he was done talking. “Animals are…easier than people.” He sent her a quick glance. “Most people.”
“True.” It was her turn to go quiet.
“Not you, though. You’re easy.” His face immediately flushed when she gave a choked laugh. “Not like that. You know what I mean.”
“I know.” She did know. After growing up the way she had, it was easy to believe that everyone hid an evil side. Meeting truly good people, like Otto and others she’d met in Monroe, was a shock—a good one, but still a shock. “I understand how hard it can be to trust people.”
He was silent for a long moment. “I was left at a hospital when I was two.” It surprised her when he spoke, especially when he shared something so personal. She stayed silent, not wanting to say the wrong thing and make him stop talking. “I went through a lot of foster homes. Some were bad.”
Blinking away tears, Sarah studied the piece of hay between her fingers. She didn’t want him to know that the thought of Otto as a hurt little boy made her want to cry, so she kept her head down as he continued.
“When I was eleven, I went to live with the Lopez family. They lived on a cattle ranch east of town.”
“Were they nice?” She had to know, or her heart was going to break for him.
“Yes. They were good people. I learned a lot about animals while I was there. I met Hugh that year, too, and we became friends.”
“Why did you become a cop, rather than a vet?” she asked.
“I knew I could do more good as a cop,” he said. “Besides, I don’t have the temperament to be a vet.”
She laughed, tension leaving her in a rush. Later, she knew, she’d think about Otto as a sweet, quiet little boy in an awful place, and she’d cry. For now, though, she teased, “Too much talking?”
“Way too much.”
When she snuck a glance at him, he was smiling at her. Instantly, she was caught and couldn’t look away. As attractive as he was when he was serious, he was a hundred times more beautiful when he smiled.
Sarah knew she should look away and pretend she hadn’t been staring at him like a creepy stalker, but she just couldn’t. His eyes were so pale in his tan face. That light of blue should’ve been cool, almost frosty, but they were very, very warm instead, like the flame of a gas stove.
He slowly—almost shyly—raised his hand and ran his fingertips along the curve of her cheek, along her jaw to her ear, and then down the side of her neck. Sarah’s shivers had nothing to do with the cold air. In fact, her skin prickled with heat. Otto leaned closer, his gaze locked on her mouth, and Sarah’s stomach swooped like she was going through the loop-the-loop on a roller coaster.
His lips were close, so close that she closed her eyes, waiting for the kiss. The seconds ticked by, but the contact she wanted never came. She opened her eyes to see him watching her with a look she couldn’t interpret.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, although a big part of her didn’t want to know if there was a problem. The selfish,
shallow, needy part just wanted him to kiss her.
He opened his mouth and then closed it again, and Sarah started to worry. What was so bad that he couldn’t say the words? All sorts of horrible scenarios trampled through her mind: he was married or he was dying or he didn’t really want her or—
“I want you,” he said baldly, and she jumped at the juxtaposition of her thought with his words. She had a nonsensically worried moment that he’d managed to read her mind. “I like you.”
What’s the right response to that? she wondered frantically. As the moment stretched awkwardly, she finally blurted out, “Thank you.” As soon as the words were said, she wanted to smack her head against the barn wall. “I mean, I’m glad, since I do, too. Like you, that is.” Desperately wishing she’d actually gone away to college and had managed to gain some social skills and experience in conversations like these, she shut her mouth firmly before any more nonsense could escape.
His smile came slowly, like his speech, curling up until the corners of his eyes wrinkled. Sarah was fascinated. He was so honest. He was smiling because he was truly happy. Growing up, everyone she’d met—including herself—had been hiding something. Their masks kept them alive, and Sarah had become so accustomed to hiding that she’d forgotten that not everyone was forced to live that way. Otto reminded her that people could actually mean what they said.
“Good.” His fingers ghosted over her cheek again. “You don’t have to, though.”
Her forehead puckered with confusion. She hadn’t said any of her thoughts out loud, had she? There was no way—she was an expert at hiding her feelings. “What?”
Otto’s eyes closed for a moment before he looked at her again. “Sorry.” Even in the low light, Sarah could see a slight reddening of his face under his tan, and it intrigued her as much as his slow and authentic smile had. “I’m making a mess of this.”
“Not a mess,” she hurried to say, although she still didn’t know what he was talking about. “I’m just not sure what you’re saying.”
“Even if you aren’t…interested. In me, I mean.” His cheeks darkened even more. “You can stay here. I would never push you into something you didn’t want.”