Love Me, Trust Me

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Love Me, Trust Me Page 26

by Barbara Gee


  “So he identified the guy in the line-up no problem?”

  “No question about it. As soon as the guy walked into the room, Hank’s eyes locked on him. He even told us the man drives a black car with all black wheels. Turned out he was right about that, too.”

  “Your kid might make a good FBI agent one day,” Tuck said, grinning.

  Ryan flinched. “A Fed? Please. He needs to be a real cop and do real work.”

  “I’ve been thinking of trying to bring you over to the dark side,” Tuck said. “I’m going to tie you down and give you a recruiting pitch one of these days.”

  “Better catch me unaware or it won’t be you doing the tying,” Ryan quipped.

  “Don’t even start, you two,” Maddy said, going over to sit in Tuck’s lap.

  “So Byron is still doing well?” Libby asked, rather enjoying the rising level of testosterone in the room.

  “Really well,” Ryan said, turning away from the grinning Tuck with a smile of his own. “He went home five days ago. The doctor said he’s way ahead of schedule.”

  “Praise God,” Kay said. “We’ve been praying for him and Louise both.”

  “I appreciate your support. It’s good to be back here. Tuck, think you can find a place for me back out on the job site?”

  “I thought you’d never ask. Is tomorrow too soon?”

  “Not at all. I’ve been getting real jumpy being off work for so long, and being in the truck day after day has only made it worse. I have a lot of energy to burn off.”

  “Libby and I have a playroom set up for Hank in our new office,” Maddy informed him, “and there’s wide open space behind it, where he and Buzz can play away from all the construction.”

  “We’ll keep a close eye on him, though,” Libby assured him, “and make sure he learns the boundaries of where he can and can’t go.”

  “I don’t want him to interfere with your work,” Ryan said cautiously.

  “It’ll be fine,” Libby and Maddy said, at exactly the same time, making everyone laugh.

  “I would enjoy having him here at the house with me part of the day as well,” Kay said. “I can easily make time to play with him, and I stocked up on some toys and games and such when I went to visit a friend in Fargo this past week. There are some wonderful educational games available. The math teacher in me got a little carried away.”

  “You all have already done so much, and I’m beyond grateful,” Ryan said. “I feel like I’m pushing it, but I do have one other thing to ask. My parents haven’t had a chance to meet Hank. With everything that’s been going on, I thought it would be best to wait for things to settle down before introducing another big thing into his life. But I think he’s at the point where it would be all right now, and my parents are willing to make the trip out here fairly soon, if it’s okay with all of you. They wouldn’t stay longer than a week.”

  Kay actually clapped her hands. “We would love it, Ryan. The more the merrier. I feel like this ranch is coming to life in ways it never has before. Don’t you, Virg?”

  “I sure do. It’s all good, Ryan. You tell them they’re welcome out here any time.”

  ***

  When Ryan went up to bed that evening, after more talk and a big bowl of popcorn, he again had the sense that he was incredibly blessed. What had started a year ago as a professional relationship with Tuck had now grown into much more, and blessed was the only term Ryan could come up with to describe his relationship with Tuck’s family. His own life was richer with them in it, and now Hank was reaping the benefits as well.

  He showered and brushed his teeth, then turned down the bed. Before he got in, he went to his duffle and took out a book. He had finished two already, and was halfway through the third. This one had the most powerful message so far, although all of them had given him a lot to think about. Ryan was full of questions, and had been spending more time than he was comfortable with analyzing his views on God and grace. He certainly didn’t have it all figured out, but he had decided that maybe it was okay to let himself actually enjoy what he had been blessed with instead of feeling only guilt. He thought it was important for Hank to see his dad embrace the good things in life, and he was trying hard not to fall into the brooding moods he sometimes succumbed to. He wasn’t totally there yet, but if the unfamiliar lightness in his heart was any indication, he was making progress. Hank and Libby were changing him.

  Ah, Libby. That girl was always catching him off guard with her open honesty. Most women played at being coy and mysterious, whereas Libby let him know exactly what she was thinking. She’d readily admitted tonight that she needed to keep her distance because he tempted her too much. While he selfishly wished she would let her guard down long enough for him to get another taste of her sweet lips, he also respected her convictions and was determined to avoid putting her in uncomfortable situations.

  It wouldn’t be easy. He’d never been so drawn to a woman, and denying his physical desires wasn’t something he was used to.

  He tried to put her out of his mind and read his book, but he was unable to concentrate on its pages tonight. He sighed and put his arm over his eyes, wondering if Libby remembered their kiss as vividly as he did. The fact that she’d moved out to the cabin instead of staying two doors down told him it was likely.

  Man, what he wouldn’t give to do it again.

  CHAPTER 27

  Kay and Virgil had invited everyone within a ten mile radius to their barbecue. While Tuck and Ryan both put in a full day of work, with Tuck heading to the FBI field office and Ryan happily sweating it out on the job site, Maddy and Libby stayed at the house all day, entertaining Hank and helping Kay with the monumental task of preparing a meal for a hundred and fifty people.

  Jolene arrived as scheduled and pitched right in, ridiculously excited about experiencing her first real ranch barbecue. Virgil enlisted a couple of ranch hands to help keep the fire going and the briskets turning and the delicious odor of spicy beef was heavy in the air by late afternoon, Next came the task of shredding the tender, perfectly cooked meat and mixing in Kay’s top secret sauce. Tray after tray of homemade sandwich rolls had been baked, large roasters of baked beans and scalloped potatoes bubbled on the counter tops, and huge bowls of pasta salad and coleslaw crowded the refrigerators.

  Kay was in her element, humming cheerfully as she chopped, kneaded and stirred her way through the day, giving orders to her willing help, offering samples to an excited Hank, and checking her watch frequently to make sure everything stayed on schedule.

  Libby and Hank were out in the front lawn for a puppy pee break when Ryan drove up in a Gator, parking it at the side of the house where it wouldn’t be in the way of the masses of cars that would soon be arriving. As he walked over to greet them, Libby caught her breath. How a man could look so good in dirty jeans and a sweat stained tee shirt was completely beyond her, but every cell in her body seemed to respond to him.

  He leaned down and hugged Hank, then smiled at Libby. “Did this guy do okay for you today?”

  “He was great. I don’t think he’ll be too hungry for supper, though. Every time he stopped by the kitchen Kay was shoving food at him.”

  “I’ll eat his portion,” Ryan said, his teeth flashing white in his tanned face. “I shouldn’t have refused that second sandwich Kay tried to send with me for lunch. I’ve been running on empty for the last couple of hours.”

  Libby caught herself staring, hoping he didn’t shave the very attractive stubble he was sporting—then quickly gave herself a mental shake and tried to concentrate on something other than the man’s distracting physical attributes.

  “Oh, well, just stop by the kitchen and give Kay a hungry look. She’ll have an early plate fixed for you in no time.”

  “I don’t dare go in there looking like this. I’ll grab a quick shower, then I’ll take over this guy so you can focus on whatever needs done. It’s probably getting a little hectic by now.”

  “Kay’s kitchen runs
like clockwork. No last minute panicking allowed. But I’m sure Virgil could use some help getting the yard set up. The tables and chairs were delivered a couple hours ago, but they were busy with the meat, so I don’t think they’ve gotten any of them set up.”

  “I can definitely help with that. Be back down in a bit.”

  She tried not to watch him walk away, she really did try. She failed, but it was kinda hard to be sorry about it. The man had a truly remarkable rear view.

  ***

  Virgil and Kay had a well-deserved reputation for putting on the best barbecues in the county. It had been a good while since they’d last gone to the effort, but if anyone thought that being a little rusty would hurt the outcome, they’d have been seriously wrong. The food was nothing short of fantastic, the crowd was festive, and the weather was perfect. Virgil had even managed to find a local country western band available on short notice. Laughter and music rang out over the ranch for hours.

  Ryan took a break at eleven to get Hank to bed. The boy had begged to stay up even longer, but he’d yawned twice while saying, “Please, Dad, let me stay up, I’m not even tired.” While Ryan was gone, Jolene sidled up to Libby and put an arm around her shoulders.

  “Time to fess up, my friend,” the girl said, her dark eyes sparkling. “I’ve seen you shooting hot looks at that man all night, and I’m more than a little hurt that no one told me you two have a thing. He’s gorgeous, by the way, and so good with his son. Honestly, I want you and Maddy to find me a man next. You two have impeccable taste.”

  “Oh, um, actually, Ryan and I don’t have a thing,” Libby said unconvincingly.

  Jolene merely raised her brows, and Libby soon caved.

  “Okay, so maybe I do have a thing for him, but it’s not going to go anywhere.”

  “May I ask why? The man appears willing. His looks are as smoldering as yours, the problem is you don’t look at each other at the same time. It’s like you’re afraid of each other.”

  “Try terrified,” Libby murmured, her eyes getting a distant look.

  “Okay, I’m going to need more here,” Jolene said. “Why in the world would you be running from something so promising?”

  Libby sighed. “You’re a Christian, Jolene, and I’m sure you know the warnings about forming relationships with non-believers. Unfortunately, Ryan and I are worlds apart spiritually, and I know it wouldn’t work. Love wouldn’t be enough.”

  “You love him?” Jolene asked softly.

  “Oh, yeah. Unfortunately I do, although you’re the first person I’ve actually admitted that to. I’ll tell you the whole story sometime soon, but in summary, Ryan and I have been through some pretty intense situations together. He’s an amazing, incredible man, and it was basically inevitable that I was going to fall in love. But I can’t act on it. It might be okay at first, but eventually we’d pull apart. I mean, it already drives me crazy that his little boy doesn’t know Jesus, you know? That’s an example of something we would fight about constantly, because I couldn’t keep quiet about it. It’s too important. I need a man who makes me stronger spiritually, not one who stifles me. It doesn’t matter how much I love him, it would break me to be with him.”

  Jolene’s eyes were sad as she hugged her friend tight. “I’m so sorry, Libby. I didn’t mean to make light of it. You’re hurting and I was teasing you.”

  “You didn’t know, Jolene, and I’ll be okay. I don’t know how long Ryan and Hank will be here, but I’ll deal with it. Oh, and before I forget, I’m staying in the studio cabin, so you’re going to be upstairs in my room.”

  “Playing it safe, huh?” Jolene asked.

  “I know myself too well. A little distance can go a long way.”

  “You’re a strong woman, Lib. I admire you more than I can say, and I mean that.” Jolene’s eyes cut across the yard to the back door. “Looks like he got his boy settled down. He’s going over to Tuck and Maddy, so let’s you and me go hit up the chocolate cake again. I don’t allow myself to splurge often, but that cake is a once in a lifetime experience, and one serving just wasn’t enough.”

  “I like the way you think,” Libby said, grinning. “I see a couple of Barlow boys sitting at a table right by the cake. Let’s sit with them for a while. They’re sweet and it’ll make their night.”

  For the next hour Libby and Jolene chatted it up with three local men, and Libby forced herself to keep from turning around and searching for Ryan. As the party wrapped up, she enlisted the help of her three new friends for cleanup duties, and a half dozen other neighbors stayed as well. With all the help, it only took an hour to get the food put away, the kitchen cleaned, and the tables and chairs stacked neatly at the side of the house. The helpful neighbors said their goodbyes, the weary but happy Desmonds retired to their bedroom, and only Tuck, Maddy, Libby, Jolene and Ryan were left.

  “You guys can go,” Libby told her brother and Maddy. “I’ll take Jolene up to her room real quick, then I’m going to turn in, too. Ryan, you and Hank will have company in your hallway for the next week, but don’t worry. She’ll close her door so her snoring doesn’t wake you up.”

  Jolene smacked Libby’s arm. “I don’t snore,” she told Ryan. “I’ll be the perfect neighbor, I promise. Good night, all. See you at breakfast, although I ate so much cake I’m not sure I’ll ever be hungry again.”

  Everyone laughed and wished her goodnight, and Libby helped carry her things upstairs. Ryan walked out to the porch with Maddy and Tuck, Buzz tucked under his arm. Libby was relieved that he didn’t come upstairs with them.

  Distance. Distance was good.

  She quickly showed Jolene to her room, then went back downstairs and out the front door. As usual she cut through the front yard on her way to the cabin. In the darkness she didn’t notice the puppy until she practically tripped over him. Letting out a little squeal she caught herself, then leaned down to pat the furry head, looking around until she saw Ryan leaning up against a tree, watching her.

  “Buzz needs to wear a bell,” she said.

  “Good idea.”

  His voice was low and smooth and it stirred her deep inside. She wavered, knowing if she walked over to him she’d once again experience the wonder of his kiss.

  She cleared her throat and stood her ground. “Okay, well, good night, Ryan.”

  “Night, Libby.”

  She turned and walked toward her cabin, telling herself she wasn’t at all disappointed when she reached the porch and still hadn’t heard his low voice calling her name. Calling her back.

  Because she didn’t want to kiss him under a tree in the moonlight. Of course she didn’t. And she didn’t cry when she got into bed. But she wanted to.

  CHAPTER 28

  Tuck and Maddy had declared their intent to sleep in the next morning due to getting to bed so late, but Libby woke up at the usual time and decided to go for a run by herself. In spite of the late night she was full of nervous energy that needed to be burned off. She dressed in shorts and a tank top and went out onto the little porch on her cabin to put her shoes on.

  “Good morning, Libby!”

  Libby’s head swiveled to see Jolene walking briskly toward her. She held up a shoe as a greeting.

  “I didn’t know if you would be up this early on a Saturday or not,” Jolene said, stopping by the porch. “Thought maybe I was in for a solo run.”

  “I didn’t set my alarm, but I woke up anyway and figured I might as well get a few miles. Anyone else stirring at the big house?”

  “Virgil is gone already, to a horse show I think. Kay and Ryan are having coffee in the kitchen. I asked him if he wanted to run, but he said he wanted to be there when Hank gets up.” Jolene smiled. “Are you sure he only found out about him a month ago? Because he’s completely devoted to that boy.”

  “I’ll tell you the whole story while we run,” Libby said. “Ryan won’t mind. You’re pretty much one of the family.”

  It took three miles to fill Jolene in on everything, starting
with the radio call in show that had ruined Ryan’s promotion, his house burning down, getting the letter from Patrick, meeting Ryan, arresting Anthony and then “Big”, and finally arriving at the Full Heart with his son.

  They turned around and headed back toward the house.

  “It’s all so unbelievable,” Jolene said. “I can’t imagine how shocked Ryan must have been to find out he has a son. And it’s completely uncanny how much Hank looks like his daddy.”

  “He’s definitely a mini-me. I love seeing the two of them together. Poor little Hank has been through so much, but he’s here now, and the bad stuff is behind him. I’d like to get him up on a horse today.” Libby gave her friend a sideways look. “How about you, Jolene? You ready to conquer your fear and mount up with us?”

  Jolene grimaced. She had an irrational fear of horses, and Libby knew it. She and Maddy had assured her over and over that getting up in the saddle just one time would cure the fear, but so far she hadn’t been able to bring herself to do it.

  “How about I just watch?”

  “Come on,” Libby urged. “You’re one of the most fearless people I know, except for this one thing. Did a horse bite you in the butt when you were little or what?”

  Jolene laughed. “I don’t remember that happening, but it could be my subconscious is blocking the memory because it’s too traumatic for me to live with.”

  “You’re going to be working here a lot when we open the retreat center, and horseback riding will be a huge part of our program. You need to get comfortable on a horse before then, or it’ll just be confusing. You can’t tell wounded vets who have lost a leg that they shouldn’t be afraid to get on a horse, when you’re afraid to do it with your two good legs.”

 

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