by Sarah Denier
“Don’t take it personally. You know Tommy cares about you and if he’s being a prick, it’s ‘cause he can’t help it. It’s like a tactical defense maneuver we’re built with.”
“So because I’m best friends with Tiff, I’m guilty by association?”
“I never said it was logical.”I laugh and suggest we both stay out of the mess our friends have made.
“So you’re goin’ then, tonight?” Luke asks.
“Yeah, you?”
“I’ll be where ever you are.”
I try to hold my girlish giggle in as I smile from ear to ear. I feel silly being this happy, consumed by a feeling I had almost forgotten. The last couple of months have been so dark and painful. I refuse to feel guilty for having a form of happiness in my life. I deserve it. My mother would want happiness for me.
“Ok. So I’ll see you in a little while.”
“Or you could see me sooner. I told Tommy I’d get there early, help set up and move some stuff. If you want I can swing by and get you.”
“Sure.” I agree and upon hanging up Luke asks that I be ready by six. Checking the time on my cell phone, I see it is already four fifty eight.
“Crap!” I spring from the couch and take the stairs two at a time.
I pull a casual lavender sundress from my closet. It’s strapless, fitted at the top and flares out at the waist with a large embroidered white Hawaiian flower on the bottom right hand side of the skirt. I jump in and out of the shower in record time. I don’t do much to my hair but lightly rub moose through it to accentuate my natural waves. I rub some lotion on and spray myself down with my favorite Channel perfume.
When the doorbell rings, I run to my closet, grab my white wedge sandals and leap down stairs. I swing the front door open to see Luke standing before me looking irresistible in his dark denim jeans and a white polo. His light brown hair styled but messy at the same time. His blue eyes beam and the huge smile planted on his face causes me to blush instantly. He reaches out to take my hand and spins me around.
“Mmm, gorgeous.”
Pleased with his reaction to my attire I let him pull me into his arms. For the first time in our new relationship, I take the initiative and touch his lips to mine. He moans deeply from his throat as I wrap my arms around his neck. Instantly I feel goose bumps run over me.
“What do you say we ditch the party and go somewhere quiet with a moonlit setting?”
“Hmm, tempting but I don’t want to deal with the wrath of Amber once she realizes we aren’t there.”
He sighs knowing I’m right. Since most of Amber’s wrath would be directed at him for persuading me not to attend the party and bailing on my best friend.
“Yeah, Tommy would be pissed if I bailed. You ready to head out then?” I nod, grab my purse, and lock up.
I take on the task of setting up bowls for chips, pretzels and different dips while Tommy and Luke move couches and tables out of the living room for more space. Two men who I have never met come into the kitchen carrying large white coolers. They look like motorcycle friends of Tommy’s with their baggie clothes and tattoos.
“Hey.” The short blond haired one says as he walks towards me, his hand extended. “I’m Kyle.” I shake his hand.
“Hi. Kimber.”
“That’s Jay.” Kyle points behind him to the tall brown haired man with tattoos covering his arms like sleeves.
Jay looks up from the cooler where he is pouring ice over bottles of beer. “What’s up?” I smile in response and go back to filling bowls.
“How do you know Tommy?” Kyle asks trying to make conversation.
“I’m good friends with his ex, Tiffany.”
“Oh, so then you know Luke, Joel, and—”
“I see you met my girl, Kimber.” Luke says coming into the kitchen.
“Yeah. You did good man. She’s a knock out.” Kyle smiles and winks at me.
Luke places his arm around me and suddenly I feel like I am trapped in an episode of the nature channel. Two male lions wander into neutral territory. (Territory being the kitchen) The dominate lion quickly claims the inhabitants of the territory. (The inhabitants being me) There is an awkward silence before Tommy comes into view.
“Ah man, did you get the beer?”
“Right here.” Jay says pointing down to the cooler.
“So Kimber, you have any friends coming tonight as hot as you?”
“No one you don’t already know, Kyle.” Tommy answers for me.
Just then, another boy comes through the door removing a motorcycle helmet from his head. His hair is dark brown like mine but short. Dark lashes frame his emerald eyes. His lips are narrow. He isn’t tall like Luke or Tommy, maybe five eleven. Everything about him seems average but there is something about him I can’t place. Immediately Luke leaves my side to great him.
“I’m either early or this party’s lame!”
“No way! Mike D., it’s been too long man.” Luke says as they hug each other like guys do.
“No kidding. What’s been going on, where’s Leo?”
As soon as Mike speaks the name alarms go off inside my head. I know this name has some kind of importance to me that I cannot place. I stand in the kitchen motionless and alert waiting for Luke’s response.
“Ah, he hasn’t been around in a while.” Luke gives the answer like it’s a known fact.
“Busy guy. Guess business must be good.” Mike says looking around.
Luke smirks and nods. “So what brings you all the way out from Arizona?”
Without another mention of this guy named Leo, the importance fades. When all of Mike’s hellos are finished, he makes his way to the kitchen for a beer.
“Do you need a bottle opener?” I ask holding one out to him.
“No, I got it.” He says as he twists the cap off.
I notice now that he is not covered in tattoos like some of Tommy’s other friends and he doesn’t look to be much older than me.
“I’m Kimber by the way.” I say with a smile.
He looks at me confused and tilts his head slightly to the left. “Kimber? I think we’ve met before.”
I furrow my brow. I’m not always good with names, especially such a common one like Mike but faces I’m good at remembering. “No, I don’t think so.”
“Yeah, something about you feels familiar?”
I laugh. It feels great to release tension, most of which I didn’t know I had. Out of all the single guys in the world and all the crappy, insulting, drinks thrown in your face, pick up lines, you’d think there should be a committee amongst men vetoing the use of these one-liners. Show me a man who got lucky with , “Hey there sweet thang”, and I’ll happily eat my words.
“Wow, yeah, that’s an ego buster.” Mike says walking away.
More guests start to arrive, most of them guys and a few with their girlfriends. Just more people I do not know much less share anything in common with. When Amber and Tiffany finally show followed by Robin and Joel I’m relieved. I eagerly hug each of them as they walk through the door.
“What took you guys so long? I hardly know anyone here.”
“Tommy said to come at seven. When did you get here?” Amber asks.
“An hour ago. I came early with Luke to help set up.”
“So where is the lucky guy or should I say your new beau!” Tiffany wiggles her eyebrows for the extra emphasis. Guess Amber didn’t waist anytime spreading the news.
I roll my eyes. It feels somewhat weird putting the words Luke and boyfriend together. Maybe it’s because it has only been a few hours. Still the word makes my heart skip around with hopeful possibilities.
Now that I think about Luke, I don’t know where he went. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen him for about ten minutes or so.”
“Well let’s go mingle and find him.” Tiffany says taking my hand as she leads me through a large group of people.
Robin and Amber follow right behind. We say hello and smile as we walk past othe
r guests. Tiffany stops in the kitchen and happily takes on the job of bartender. Amber, Robin and I however settle on sodas. The last thing I need to add to one hell of a day is liquor. With drinks in hand, we head back to where a group has gathered around a fire pit. While November days bring warm sunshine the dark nights bring the cold. Sitting around the fire is comforting and warm.
Tiffany lets go of my hand when she spots Tommy and makes her way over to him. I wonder if their back on? Probably not, I mean that’s what makes their relationship so problematic, they can’t be with or without each other.
I spot Luke next to Tommy and head in his direction. When I reach Luke, he pats his leg gesturing for me to sit on his lap. I do. He wraps his arms around my waist snuggling me close to him
“F.Y.I Luke. You may be my friend and all but if you hurt my girl you know I’ll have to hurt you, right?” Tiffany says as she smacks Luke’s arm. Luke just laughs it off.
“So how does it feel?” Amber asks from across the fire pit directing her question to Luke and gaining the interest of others who I don’t know.
“How does what feel?” He asks being coy.
“To finally have what you’ve waited so long for, duh.” I wait for Luke to answer. I’m not sure what they are talking about. Clearly, I have been left out. “I’ve known for a while how old boy Luke here felt and I’ve been hounding him to tell you ever since.” Amber answers having seen my confusion.
“Life doesn’t get better.” Luke replies, his gaze fixed on me. I smile widely feeling the same as he does.
“Here’s to me and you finding the men of our dreams!” Robin says holding up her cup to Amber in a toast gesture. The girls and I laugh while the boys resume their conversation comparing motorcycle tricks, scares and other testosterone mumbo jumbo.
Eventually Mike D. changes the conversation to old memories of when he lived in Florida and the trouble the boys used to get into. The girls and I had not known Mike back then so we start talking about old high school classmates.
When I hear my name being said I’m brought back to the boys’ conversation. I turn my head to see Mike D. staring oddly at me.
“No way! So this is Kimber, huh?” Mike asks.
“You didn’t recognize her?” Luke asks peaking my interest.
“I took a guess, thought she might have a sister.”
“Nope.” Luke says while running his thumb across the top of my knee.
“What?” I ask looking back and forth between the two.
“Remember when you got tossed in the pool at your thirteenth birthday party?” I nod. “Mike is the one who tossed you.”
I gasp quietly and scowl at him. “You! You ruined my favorite dress.”
“Sorry! I couldn’t help myself. I remember how good you made that dress look. And look at you now. You turned out better than I expected.”
Like I would have grown to become a four eyed, zit faced, drooling, barf bag.
“First off, gross! I was thirteen. And what exactly did you expect me to turn out as?” I ask still scowling.
“I peaked early and you were a hot thirteen. And it was a complement. You were pretty then but now I see what all the fuss is about.” Mike says with a deviant smile.
“Thanks. But you still owe me a pink dress.”
He shakes his head and laughs under his breath. “Yeah, I’ll get right on that.” He laughs. “So you two an item?”
Luke and I look at each other. I feel my cheeks’ becoming red. I would have been completely embarrassed but thankfully, the cover of night and the flames from the fire do not reveal the emotion on my face. I say nothing and wait for Luke to answer.
“Yeah.” Luke nods.
Between Tiffany, Amber and now Mike’s comment I find myself needing a little space from the group. I don’t care to hear what will be said or implied next. When it’s just Luke and I, it’s not bad. When everyone else is brought in on it, I feel like I’m part of a sideshow.
“I’m gonna’ run to the bathroom. Be right back.”
Before I can walk away, Luke takes me by the hand, gently pulling me towards him. He looks in my eyes, places his other hand behind my neck and starts to guide my mouth towards his. I lock up. I know everyone is watching. Holding their breath even. These people who are used to Luke and I as friends now wait to see what it will be like when we kiss. Like judges deciding whether or not our chemistry is enough for us to last.
By my hesitation, Luke drops his hold on me. I might not be able to hear the questions in his mind but I can read them on his face.
Faster than normal, I walk away. I make a b-line for the bathroom but of course, there is a line. I turn around and walk down the hall to Tommy’s room where I know there is another bathroom. I don’t stop to think if he’d want anyone in his private domain. I open the bathroom door, close it behind me and lock myself in. I put the toilet lid down and sit. I let my head fall to my hands and collect my thoughts.
I hate that I embarrassed Luke and caused that hurtful look across his face. I should have just kissed him instead of caring what our friends would say. Thinking about the disappointment I’ve caused is a dangerous segue to thoughts of my mother. I order myself to keep control knowing that angry blotches of red will dot my face if I let the tears come.
I stand to grab a tissue from the counter when a stabbing pain pierces through the inside of my head. The pain is so intense it screams through every nerve in my body. I clutch my head with my hands and squeeze my eyes closed. It feels like the mother of all migraines is hammering inside my head. I can’t endure the pain. All at once my hand slips from the corner of the sink and my legs give out. A sudden thud upside my head knocks me out.
It takes a moment to realize I’m dreaming. I’m back at my thirteenth birthday party. I see my younger self across the decorated back yard talking to friends. My mother comes from the house carrying a hot tray filled with hot dogs and hamburgers and places them on a buffet table.
As I watch myself from across the pool, I hear a voice coming from my left. It’s Mike D., only years younger, walking through the back gate. Beside Mike is my unidentified shadow man. I know it’s him because he’s shrouded in a blurred haze. Seeing Luke already at the party eliminates him as the one Mike came with.
How can I remember every detail about this party except Mike and this mystery kid? How can two people be entirely erased? Whatever the reason it all comes back to Mike. He holds the answer I seek.
When I wake the pain in my head is still present, pulsating to its own beat. My ears ring to a pitch only a dog could hear. I stand slowly and look in the mirror to investigate the source of the pain. A gash on the top right side of my forehead coughs blood with every pulse. The right half of my face, shoulder and chest is smeared with blood.
“Kimber! Open the door!” Luke calls frantically. “Kimber, can you hear me? Open the door or I’m kickin’ it in!” Luke demands.
I don’t doubt he’ll charge through the door. After today at the Pier he’s probably already attained a conclusion. I find a small washcloth and run it under the faucet. Quickly I try to erase some of the blood from my face and shoulder but by the way Luke pounds on the door, there isn’t enough time. I wring the cloth out once and press it painfully to my head.
Fearing Luke’s reaction, I open the door. He stands frozen in shock but only for a moment. “What the hell happened?”
“I fell. I must have hit my head on the sink.” I recall hitting it before I passed out.
Luke desperately tries to hold his emotions together as he skeptically looks me over. “We’ve got to get you to the hospital!”
“It’s not that bad, Luke. The head always bleeds the worst.” I try reassuring him but it only makes him more frantic.
“Have ya seen yourself? You look like you stepped off the set of a horror film! You’re covered in blood! You’re goin’ to the hospital, now!”
I try to argue back but I feel weak, light headed and nauseous. Maybe the gash on my head isn’t
the only thing the fall gave me. I try to walk on my own, but seeing the weakness of my body, Luke grabs me. As he ushers me out of Tommy’s room, I remember the dream and I know I have to find Mike.
“What are you doin’? Let me help you!” Luke demands as I try easing out of his grip.
“I just need to talk to Mike for a minute.”
“Jesus Kimber! You need to see a doctor before you bleed to death!” His voice rises to a panicked yell. I know it’s more worry than anger.
“No! Please Luke. I just need to ask him one thing.” Frustrated I try to move past Luke but my vision becomes unreliable and I have no choice but to grab onto him for support.
“Kimber, where are you?” Amber asks as she walks into the room. As soon as she sees me, she runs back out screaming for Tommy and Joel.
“What is it?” Tommy asks.
“It’s Kimber, there’s so much blood!”
By the time Tommy and Joel reach me my blood has soaked through the small washcloth, into my eye and down my arm.
“Holy shit! What happened to her?” Tommy asked as he inspects my injury.
“She says she fell and hit her head on the sink.” Luke explains.
“She gonna need stitches. Let’s go.”
I expected Tommy to be the rational one. The kind of guy who’d rather fix me up with super glue and a strip of duck tape. As a motorcycle stunter his body is littered with scars. But I can’t argue against him, I’m too weak. Placing a hand on my back, Tommy scoops my legs from under me.
“No. I have to ask Mike something!” I protest.
Tommy doesn’t listen as he carries me out of his room, through the hallway and into the living room. It’s here I spot Mike and make a poor attempt to wiggle free from Tommy.
“Wait Tommy! Mike!”
“Kimber stop! I’m going to drop you!”
“Let go of me! Please!”
“No!” Tommy barks.
“Let go of me!” I say again but this time I demand it. I kick my legs the best I can, push against Tommy’s chest and give him no other choice but to release me. I cannot see Mike clearly until he is a few feet away. Before I can get a single word out I’m back in familiar arms.