by Sarah Denier
As I step into my living room I’m welcomed by the smell of lilac candles that line the entertainment center. I commend myself for such a smart buy and inhale the calming sent.
“Mind if I grab a drink?” Leo asks stepping into the kitchen.
“Help yourself.”
I think I’ll soak in bubble bath and afterward slip into my favorite pink cotton pajamas.
I grab the knob of my bedroom door and twist it. Before I can push, I’m quickly yanked inward. I stumble forward, finding just enough time to brace myself for impact. Except it’s not the floor or the door my hands meet. The darkness of my room masks the warmth, the firmness against my hands. The quick jerk of a shallow gasp pushes the assailants chest against my hands.
And the burning begins.
It steals my air, spreading through me with the efficiency of lava. Making sure parts of me are dead and charred before rolling further through my body.
The intruder reaches for me but fails as I stumble backwards into the light of the living room. Eyes wide, I look down to the source of the fire blazing inside of me. A wooden handle, no longer than three inches, protrudes out from just below my sternum. I recognize the hilt from the set I keep in my kitchen.
My hands quiver, like a tweaking addict going through detox, as I raise them to my chest. The question of pull or not to pull presents itself. Don’t pull, my mind warns.
I feel my eyes grow wide as I try to keep them open but my body has relinquished control. My knees go first as I melt onto the floor.
It all happens fast but in my mind it plays out in slow motion. Even the blood, as it stains my shirt and pools beneath me, moves at a turtle’s pace.
The knife becomes the center of my being and with every shallow gasp, I am punished with a pain so deep that colors flash before my eyes.
I hear Leo scream out my name. He runs towards me unaffected by the sluggish motion surrounding me. The panic on Leo’s face is the last thing I see before a puff of pale green smoke engulfs the room. I hear the thud of a limp body hitting the floor. As the smoke clears Leo’s unconscious body is revealed.
I taste the metal tang of blood in the back of my throat. I pray for shock to take me but I know I’m not that lucky. I dare to take a breath and suffer the penetrating shockwaves of agony as if my muscles contract against the knife pushing it deeper. A whimper escapes past my lips.
I lay still and fight the urge to scream, fight against the hysteria crawling up my throat as I lay here. Rationally I know I should focus my thoughts but a deep seeded part of me says it’s hopeless. I ignore it. I have to get to my cell phone. I have to focus on getting Leo and I out of this alive. ‘Cause even if I die ten, fifteen minutes from now, I have to know I tried.
I hear the faint sound of shoes move across the living room floor. Frightened I blink my eyes trying to clear the tears that fill them. As I do, I see a pair of legs walk past me swiftly. I hear the squeak of my couch just before a hand brushes over my hair.
“It wasn’t supposed to be you! Dammit!”
The fury in his voice vibrates to my core. So much so that seconds go by before I catch it, I know that voice.
Luke!
Hysteria wins as any and all control I might have gives way. Venomous doses of pain attack my body before settling in my chest. My breathing becomes rapid and I’m vaguely aware that the combination of my air intake, a throbbing wound and a heaving chest equals an acceleration of blood loss.
“No! No!” I try to say through large gasps but even I can’t hear my own words.
“Shit!” Luke hollers repeatedly. He’s infuriated.
I forgo breathing and settle into the pain just as my teeth start to chatter. I’m cold, very cold. It has to be from blood lost. I try to think back to anatomy class but I can’t even remember how much blood the human body holds, but I’m losing it fast. My time is running out!
Luke stands and makes circles around me. I see he’s panicked and unsure of what to do. I assume calling for help isn’t an option for him. I see his hand reach for the knife, petrified that he’ll pull it, I plead with my eyes, vigorously shaking my head.
“They told him to stay away! Why couldn’t he stay away?”
Tears roll from my eyes as Luke hollers down at me. I turn my head slowly toward Leo desperate to see a change or movement, but there’s nothing. With every passing minute my hope starts to fade.
“All of it! Everythin’! And for what, nothin’!” Luke continues ranting as he steps closer to Leo. “I’m sick of livin’ in your shadow. This is your fault. Their blood falls on you now!” Luke yells as he kicks Leo’s motionless body. I reach out against the pain to grab onto Luke’s pant leg. He’s too far away. “Son…of a… bitch!” Luke hollers, continuously kicking Leo. When he stops he’s winded and turns to look at me. His expression is odd. As though he’s here physically but mentally, it’s anyone’s guess.
Luke kneels on one knee beside me. I don’t feel the fear as strong. He’s already killed me, what more can he do? He eyes the knife before his eyes meet mine.
“Are you sorry?”
I am sorry, just not for the reason he asks. I shake my head.
“No?” Luke hisses.
I shake my head again. I should be submissive to him, but why? He’s responsible for what will happen to me. I won’t show compassion where none has been shown to me. He is no longer the Luke I trusted and called my friend. He’s a vengeful, dangerous, deceptive and egocentric.
“I could save you.” He says pointing to the knife. “But I don’t think they’d want that.” I close my eyes at this small revelation and open them as he continues. “What was I suppose to do Kimber? There was an openin’ and I took it. He’d always walk around actin’ like he was better than me, because of blood. I knew they wouldn’t willingly let him go. They had to see. I made them see.”
He stands and grabs from the kitchen a damp dish rag. Carefully he starts to wipe the surface of things he’s touched. His intentions are clear. He’s prepping the scene and covering his tracks. The chill in my bones penetrates deeper.
“You’re beautiful Kimber. I’ll give you that. But you’re gullible as shit.” Luke says as he continues to wipe down the bedroom door.
“What?” I manage to whisper but not without paying for it in pain. My body tenses, except my toes, they’ve gone numb.
He turns giving me a disturbed premeditated smile. I keep my eyes on Luke as he leans back down to me. I fear he will remove the knife to wipe his fingerprints from it.
But the knife is a dull, bothersome ache compared to what comes next.
“What do you think happened to your mother?”
I lay frozen as his question echoes in my head. It’s a lie. I try telling myself. I can believe he’s gone crazy and that Leo and I will consequently die here because of him. But the more I fight it, the more graphic the truth becomes. There is no control left in me to dig up.
All this time I wondered what kind of monster could have done such a thing to my mother. All the while, the answer was right in front of me. Every time I touched Luke, kissed, laughed, smiled, or looked into his eyes, I had been looking in the eyes of my mother’s murderer. The sick twisted son of a bitch killed my mother without mercy and ran the only other person I cared about right out of my life for his own personal gain. I feel for it!
“Are we on the same page now?” Luke asks having noticed my blank expression. “If it’s any consolation I didn’t like the thought of killin’ her. You can blame Leo for that. The Grigori would have waited but I couldn’t. I had to take matters into my own hands.”
I motion for Luke to come closer. He does.
“Die!” I’m barely able to whisper.
“I’ll leave that to you.” He says smirking down at me. “You could’ve had it good Kimber. I would have given you anythin’. But you couldn’t let him go.”
“Why?” I whisper, too numb or too raw from his confession to care about the cold pain claiming my body.
> “Why!” Luke hollers. “Because I had the balls to go after somethin’ I wanted, you! Because I loved you! I had to search for a gypsy to block me from Lena and Leo. I spent months contemplatin’ the right way to stage Marie’s murder. Meanwhile I had to convince the Grigori I was one of the good guys.” Luke’s eyes close as he shakes his head.
I wish the knife had struck to the left of my chest and right into my heart. It feels as though it moves there as Luke recites callous, jealous, unjustified reasons for taking my mother’s life, like her’s was just a means to an end. As if the extent of her life was to serve an ornery teenage boy’s quid pro quo to winning the girl.
Vomit rises and settles in my throat.
“Just say you love me. For once, let me hear it.” He begs me.
“Go to Hell.” I answer meagerly.
Angrily Luke stands and motions to the knife handle sticking out of me. With the rush of heated adrenaline gone, I’m struggling to keep my eyes open. I’m sure the steady decline of my condition has surpassed shock.
It’s an odd feeling to welcome the increasing pain from a knife sticking into your chest. I would welcome the pain a thousand times to draw in enough strength to bring Luke down. I doubt my trace amount of Nephilim blood is equal to his so I need something more.
“I planned the late night phone call to Leo. I’m in control.” He rambles on, stroking his ego, but I can’t afford to listen.
My only obstacle is, ironically, the only weapon I have at my disposal. If it’s at all possible for me to remove the knife from my sternum, I have to be able to do it swiftly and fast enough to plunge it into Luke. But can I withstand the pain or will I pass out as soon as I release it? This is worse than being stuck between a rock and hard place. I’m stuck in the middle of risking my life to take his.
I’m ashamed to admit my fear overcomes me. The thought of dying here and letting Luke walk unscathed makes my knife wound feel like a mere paper cut.
I do the only thing I can think of. Taking on the piercing pain again, I inhale until my lungs won’t stretch anymore and scream. Luke muffles my attempt by putting his hand over my mouth.
“This is what you get! What you asked for!” He increases the pressure of his hand over my mouth and nose.
I long for the air that punishes with pain just for one breath. I feel my legs kicking and my arms twitching as I grow tired and weak. I close my eyes, shiver from the cold and welcome the sudden relief of pain. I wish I could see my mother and tell her how sorry I am that I can’t avenge her. I feel my body convulse even more while it fights for air and the lack of response from my brain. I come to feel calm, relaxed and unafraid to let go. My eyes fall heavy and everything in sight slowly fades to black.
Just as I’m sure I will see my mother in the form of an angle waiting for me by a bright white light, I hear a voice. It could be a woman but it’s not overly feminine.
“Go back, Kimber. This is not your end. Embrace what you are.”
I feel a twinge as my eyes fly open and my lungs heave in the air around me. The first thing I see are Leo’s hands in a firm grip around the handle of the knife in my chest. It happens so fast that panic is a delayed reaction. As if Leo defies time and space, he retrieves and raises the knife in such a quick movement that Luke has no time to defend himself.
Just like that, it’s over.
Leo removes his shirt and uses it to apply pressure to my chest. With the other hand he calls nine one one.
With the knife removed from my chest breathing is near impossible as the pain reaches an excruciating level. I wish the knife were still there. A cold tingle sweeps through me, subsiding the sensation of burning but the gaping wound is nothing short of Hell’s agony. I look into Leo’s piercing hazel blue eyes watching tears stream from them. I focus on his face instead of the pain. He’s my hero. My own personal light in all the darkness around me. Through dim eyes I see his lips move, absent sound. Harnessing a mix of emotions, I smile up into his eyes. They might call it tragic or slightly poetic but dying in the arms of the one you love is…comforting. Because I do love this man and every dangerous, scary part that comes with him loving me back. As I lay here in his embrace I know that I am safe, that I am loved and that I belong only to him. How else could a girl want to die?
Chapter Eighteen
LAVENDER IS CALMING. The smell reminds me of trips my mother and I took during spring break to Sunken Gardens. I loved the flowers, their colors and the different scents they carried. I love watching movies where the lead actress would run through a wide open field covered in daisies. It seems so free.
I see me in my mind’s eye, forget-me-nots in pink, blue and yellow surround my feet as far as my eyes can see. The sun is shining, the sky bright blue with puffy clouds soaring over my head. I run free, fast and careless.
Leo is there. His smile brightens when he sees me. He’s dressed in dark denim jeans and casual baby blue T shirt that sets off his amazing hazel eyes. His sandy brown hair is messy in all the right ways. His long muscular body runs toward mine as though the wind carries us together. I extend my arms toward him, ready to leap into his embrace and feel his chest press against mine.
Suddenly he stops dead in his tracks an arm’s length away from me. A look of horror crosses his face as he starts to back away. With my hands out stretched, I look down at my arms. I’m covered in blood. It drips from me and onto my pretty field of flowers.
“Leo?” I look to him for an explanation. He does not answer as he continues to look terrified. “Leo!” I scream to him for help but he turns and retreats. I continue to call his name until he’s out of view and I’m left standing alone.
My pretty field of forget-me-nots fades and warps into a volcanic covered field of hot ash. Red hot lava erupts in various spots. The ground is too hot for my bare feet to handle. Afraid and discombobulated I yell again for Leo.
“Tiffany, get Leo now! Amber, grab the doctor!”
I hear Lena’s voice but when I look up all I see is a dark thunderous sky, shooting lightning down around me. It aggravates the lava beneath me. Seeing no way out or safety for me to run to, I scream.
Suddenly a cool rush of wind brushes against my face. I hear Leo call my name. I call back to him. I feel his hands on my arm but when I look down all I see is the blood that covers me, not Leo.
I hear orders called from above me. Anxiety sinks in. I’m unsure of what is happening or what way, if any, to turn. I call to Leo again. I don’t understand why I can’t see him even though I feel his touch and hear his voice. A bright light hits my eyes. I flinch and fall backwards landing on the lava. I scream as it burns through my skin.
I hear voices, movement, I feel things touching me, beeping machines around me. Taking my head in my hands, I curl into a ball.
“HELP ME!”
“MOVE!” Leo’s dominate voice commands. I look up to see where he requests I go. I see nothing. There is no exit.
“PLEASE LEO!” I shriek.
I feel the pressure of time as it passes. The sky grows darker and the temperature of the lava rises beneath me. I feel hands around my head pushing on both sides with even pressure. I feel them even though when I touch my own head there isn’t anything there.
“Breathe.” Leo instructs.“Feel me in your pulse.” My heart starts to beat wildly against my chest. “Now, look at me.” He whispers against my ear.
I open my eyes to a bright light shining on me. Leo pushes the light away and finally I see his face. His apprehension fades into a relieved smile. The desperation in his icy blue eyes softens. He waits with baited breath, for what I’m not sure.
“Hi.”
His ridged body softens with an exhale of breath as his eyes close.
I glance around the room to see Tiffany and Amber standing in the back corner. Their hands are entwined together and their faces are worn with concern and anticipation.
Two women and one man in scrubs stand around checking monitors and fiddling with my IV. I’m in t
he hospital.
From behind Leo, I see my Aunt Lena. How she made it possible, I don’t know, but seeing her here for me means everything.
“I hear someone’s awake.” A tall older man says entering the room. His hair is gray. He looks to be Middle Eastern from his dark complexion and facial features. “Miss Knowl I’m Doctor Gilfred.” He states. I can see his name embroidered over the left breast pocket of his white lab coat. “How are you feeling?”
“Alive.”
“That’s what we strive for.” He says smiling at me over an orange folder. “I’ll need everyone to exit the room. I need to evaluate Miss Knowl.”
Everyone files out of the room except for one nurse and Leo who moves to the back corner. The nurse asks Leo to please exit but he simply tells her he isn’t leaving. The doctor looks to me and after I insist on Leo staying, he starts to check my vitals.
Doctor Gilfred starts to run through a laundry list of questions for me. The kind of questions like what year I think it is, who’s the current president, what state we’re in, how old I am, and my name even though he’s said it a few times himself already.
The examination continues. Doctor Gilfred lifts and bends first my legs then my arms. He moves on to my torso where he pushes on random areas and asks if it hurts. “No”, I answer to every spot his hands touch until he presses on my chest cavity. I’m unprepared. As he pushes agony erupts from my chest. I shriek. In that instant Leo is at my side, holding my hand and soothing my head.
“I need to check the wound for signs of infection and make sure it’s healing properly. I’m going to have to lower your gown Miss Knowl.”
Doctor Gilfred adjusts the bed into an upright position. Slowly and carefully, he glides my hospital issued nightgown from my shoulders. I know Doctor Gilfred is a trained and qualified professional but that doesn’t lessen my embarrassment. To my relief Leo averts his eyes. It’s things like that, his chivalry, that compels my heart to love him.
The fact that my breasts are exposed is far from important the second I see it. A large white bandage covers the middle to lower part of my chest. Just seeing it brings back every horrifying memory of how it all happened. I squeeze Leo’s hand tight.