Tormented Knight, Seductive Wife
By
Lynda Marie Vanderhoff
Chapter 1 – Chapter 2 – Chapter 3 – Chapter 4 – Chapter 5 – Chapter 6 — Epilogue
Chapter 1
England, 1143
“You have been away too long, Waleran. I think you have forgotten what it feels like to live in a keep.”
Waleran considered his father out of the corner of his eye. His horse swayed back and forth in a steady walk as they approached the outer woodworks of the castle. It was a royal castle, belonging to King Stephen now. Waleran had been gifted with it for his loyal and staunch support.
“My king needed me, father. I could not very well tell him I had to stay home.”
“Your wife needed you, too. Geoffrey de Mandeville, the traitorous dog, could be hunted by anyone under Stephen’s command. Your wife is too young, your marriage too new for you to have been gone for a year and a half.” He paused. “What would your mother say?”
Waleran stopped his horse, allowing the flow of people to stream around them. “I know not, father, but will you vex me with these needless questions for the rest of my life? I have been gone long, aye, but there is naught for it now. Why do you continue to torment me?”
He spurred his horse forward, but his father followed. “Torment? How dramatic and convenient for you. While you are out playing the king’s best chevalier, there is no heir to my lands – to your lands! What if you were to die on that field? What would happen to your sisters? They would be courted like meat in a butcher’s shop just for their inheritance. Is that the life you want for them?”
“And of my life? Do we speak of that or have I waived that consideration when I became the only stallion in your paddock?”
His father blustered. “By God’s head, boy, I ask you only to bed your wife and get her with child. You would think I asked you to forsake God himself. Does she not please you?”
“Nay. She pleases me. Greatly.”
His father’s voice became softer. “And is she not comely and compliant?”
Waleran ground his teeth. He could not tell his father the truth. He could not tell him that he, too, carried the family affliction of unnatural visions. All around him now stood people who weren’t there, that none could see but him. They implored him to find their loved ones.
He was mad. He knew it. Just like his uncle before him, he had the visions.
Waleran pushed the thoughts away, but it was like trying to hold back the tide. Nay, he could hold the madness at bay, but he would damn his own soul to hell if he would ever risk passing this curse on to a child – his child!
“She is everything a man could want a wife to be, father. It is a complex riddle, and it is mine to solve.” They had reached the wooden gate. Waleran looked up at the completed stone keep and the smattering of stone outbuildings. Soon, there would be a strong stone wall to protect Stephen’s holdings.
His father shook his head. “I just don’t understand you. Why would you dishonor your family this way?”
“I intend no dishonor.”
“Think of your sisters, then. I am not long for this world. I have over forty summers already. With the way you run about, you’ll be lucky if you see thirty summers.”
“Stephen would not make one of my sisters castellan should I die, so there is nothing to worry about in that regard.”
“That is not the inheritance I speak of, and you know it. It is the manors, our holdings, and our hall. It is not very much, but many men have less.”
Waleran sighed. They had reached the courtyard, and he threw his reigns to a squire. He dismounted. “You don’t understand. I don’t want children.”
His father dismounted. He grabbed Waleran by the shoulders, his strong fingers digging into his mail. “Your want is not in question here. Children are your duty to your name and to your people. Will you leave them with another lord that will not take care of them? This is your duty. It is not something you can choose.”
Waleran shrugged him off. His father was right. It was his duty, but how could he damn a child to a life of visions and madness? Better he was never born than to live a life such as Waleran’s.
Something compelled him to look up, and he saw his wife in the doorway to the hall, framed by the firelight from within. She was tall, slim as a young tree with hair that was as blonde as the fine silk of a corn husk. Her eyes were blue, and they seemed to swallow Waleran up with their clarity. Ever since he had known her – approximately two years – he felt drawn to her. Aye, she was beautiful, but she was quiet and biddable, and treated all as she would be treated. She represented a peace that Waleran had never known.
Aye, she was fair. But, more importantly, she was mesmerizing to him.
Waleran’s father stepped up behind him and whispered in his ear. “She is a sight, boy, is she not?” Waleran murmured his agreement. “Then say you will try. I need you to do this for me. Please. Say to me you will try.” His father looked at his gloved hands. “If you do not, Waleran, I will disown you and pass the estates to one of your cousins. I cannot have the girls in jeopardy because you cannot put your rod between your wife’s legs.”
Waleran closed his eyes, feeling the sinking in his heart. He did not want to be a pauper, but this was an impossible situation. Still, she remained burned into his vision like looking at the sun for too long. “Aye, I will try. I understand your concerns.” His father chuckled, and he added, “But I cannot promise you anything.”
Avelina stood at the top of the stairs and looked into her husband’s eyes. There was nothing but coldness there. He didn’t want her. She shook her head and fled back into the hall.
Her lady, Maud, followed on her heels. “Where are you going, my lady?”
She didn’t answer, but kept running. She veered into a round tower and ascended the circular stairs as quickly as she could. Running, she burst into the main chamber and attempted to slam the door home, but Maud was already there. She caught the door and closed it behind her.
“What is wrong?”
Avelina was trembling. She didn’t want to go near him and she didn’t want him near her. “My lord husband frightens me.”
Maud frowned. “What do you mean? My lord Waleran is the very heart of kindness.”
“I’m afraid of him, and I know that he has no love of me.”
Maud sighed and took Avelina by the hand. She led her to a sturdy bench and the women sat down. Avelina’s hand trembled.
“Did he hurt you the first night?”
Avelina looked away, eyes darting. “Nay.”
“So, when you loved, all was well?”
“We didn’t exactly consummate the marriage.”
Maud jumped up. “My lady, you should not say such things. Surely you did!”
“Nay. I was afraid and he was reluctant. I am undesirable to him. He looks at me and is repulsed.”
“He did not look repulsed to me.”
Maud sat down next to Avelina and took her hand. “My lady, what is this fear you have?”
“I have never been around men very much. I expected him to want me, to have my body and be done, but he did not.”
“Sir Waleran is often troubled.” She paused. “Don’t you have brothers?”
“I used to, but they are all dead now. My father marked me for the church since I was the last child of six. I wasn’t supposed to be here.”
Maud sighed. “Aye, my lady, I know that it is hard for you, having ever lived in the company of women, but you must understand that he means you no harm. He is your husband, and he is attracted to you. Believe me, I saw his face!”
“Nay, there was nothing but coldness there.”
&nb
sp; “I have been around more men then you. Trust me when I say that he was much more than cold when he looked at you – practically burning.”
Avelina considered this for a moment, but then sighed. “The nuns told me terrible things about men. They said that all they are looking for is between a woman’s legs and that we should stay away from them. They can beat a women and no one will care. They can do with their wives what they want.” She shuddered. “I don’t want to be kicked or punched or raped.”
“This is nonsense. He would never do that to you.”
“It isn’t to me. I am afraid of him. He may even kill me and no one will care.”
“My lady, not every man is like that. True, there are some who are brutes, but I assure you that Lord Waleran is a kind and gentle man. He would not hurt you.”
“But my marriage has not been consummated. He bears no love or attraction for me.”
“Stop saying that!”
“But it’s true. I will have to open my legs to him, Maud. That will surely hurt. What if I don’t like it? What if I don’t want him to touch me in that way ever again? I may displease him or please him too much. Neither is acceptable.”
Maud smiled. “I assure you, lady, it isn’t as bad as all that. It can be quite enjoyable … if done right.”
“I just want to go back home.”
“You are home.”
“I mean to the abbey.” She sighed. “I never wanted to be married.”
“You worry over nothing. Why, just the other day, I tumbled Jack in the stables. He is a handsome man.”
Avelina placed her hand to her chest in shock. “But he is not your husband.”
“It’s a bit different for the low folk, lady, but I care not. My family has already disowned me.” She grinned warming to her subject. “He has the most magnificent body.”
Avelina remembered Jack. He was broad of chest, his jaw square and rough with stubble. She liked the way his muscles moved when he threw bales of hay into the loft.
Maud smiled. “You are blushing, my lady.”
Avelina clapped her hands to her face.
A knock sounded at the door, and Avelina tensed, thinking it would be her husband.
“My lady Avelina,” an older man’s voice boomed, “your husband wishes to see you in the hall at your earliest convenience.”
Maud answered for her. “Aye, my lord, we shall prepare. My lady wanted to look absolutely perfect to see her husband after so long. In a nonce, we will be there.” She looked at Avelina. “You will find out how much you can enjoy life with a man. You must be patient.”
“I never will, despite what you say.”
Maud shook her head. “In time, you will eat your words. Oh, will you need me this evening?”
“Nay, I suppose I will be with my husband,” she said with a twist to her mouth. “Why?”
“I think I need to pay a visit to Jack this night, my lady. A woman has needs.”
Chapter 2
Avelina descended the steps slowly. She saw Waleran standing by the large hearth at the far end of the hall. His shoulders were broad, his hair dark and a little bit too long. He often ran his hands through his hair which she found endearing. He was clean shaven after the Norman fashion, and he had long, strong legs with well-muscled arms. He was a man accustomed to fighting, she could tell. He stood taller than those in the room by half a foot.
“Ah, there is the angel!” Waleran’s father called to her, and the entire hall went silent. All eyes were on her. She calculated how many steps it would take to get back to the stairs, but quickly abandoned that idea as the man came closer.
She curtsied. “My Lord Lothden, it is a pleasure to see you.”
He wrapped her up in his arms. He smelled like stale sweat and fresh ale. “You are my daughter now. You can at least call me Richard.” He pulled away and held her arms away from her body. “My, you look more beautiful every time I see you. I say, if I was not an old dog, I just may have taken you for myself.”
Avelina stammered and felt the heat rise all the way to her hairline. She could not look at him and tried to pull away. “Thank you, my lord. You are too – too kind.”
“Waleran, come here and see how prettily your wife blushes.” Richard continued to look at her, but when Waleran was not forthcoming, he turned to look.
Waleran stood before the fireplace, half way between the hearth and them. He stared at her, and Avelina suddenly felt naked. He was not angry, that she could tell, but he fairly smoldered. She thought about Maud’s conversation with her. She wondered if it may not be pleasant to be close to him, for him to hold her in his arms. If only he would want to hold her in his arms.
But she could not entertain thoughts such as those. He was too intense. It likely would not be a pleasant occasion to be in bed with this man. She tried to pull away, but Waleran’s father held her fast.
“Will you come over and give your wife a proper greeting, Waleran?”
Reluctantly, Waleran came closer. From this vantage, she could see that his eyes were gray like unpolished steel. They were liquid, tired and secret.
He reached for her hand. “Good morrow to you, lady wife. I trust that you have been kept well these long days that I have been gone?”
Richard sighed. “That’s how you greet the queen, Waleran, or some doddering old duchess.” He pushed Waleran forcefully into Avelina.
Waleran sprawled towards her and she moved back, but it was too late. She had already lost her balance and felt herself listing towards the ground. Waleran grabbed her around the waist and pulled her up into his chest. He halted her fall and regained his own footing in a work of athletic skill.
He held her and turned to his father. “You nearly knocked us over, you half-wit.”
Richard grinned. “Well, at least you are touching her.” He bowed to Avelina. “My lady, I leave you to my son’s questionable graces. Please do not allow him to reflect badly on me.” He gripped Waleran’s shoulder. “And you should kiss your wife hello. It is proper.” Richard moved a discreet distance away, but did not go very far.
Avelina looked up into Waleran’s face. Close now, she could see how age and weather had etched fine lines beside his eyes and at the corners of his mouth. She could see the minor flecks of blue in his eyes that were more pronounced when he was emotional.
She didn’t want him to let go. She felt less lonely, somehow, in an embrace. If she was a brave woman, she would have put her head on his shoulder, but he may not welcome it.
“I am sorry that my father is an oaf. He has very strong opinions on my failings as a husband.”
Avelina could not look at him. “Then he knows.”
“Will you kiss her already?” Richard jeered from across the room.
With an exasperated sigh, he pecked her on the cheek. Avelina felt as if she had been hit in the face with a small stone. This was supposed to be pleasurable?
“That is not a kiss and you know it!” Richard was relentless.
Waleran looked down into her face. “I am sorry for my father, my lady. Please forgive his brutishness.” He grimaced. “I am happy to see you, though. Please do not think that I haven’t thought of you all these long days. I have. I want to be a better husband.”
She was about to tell him that he was a good husband when he put his hand on her cheek and lifted her face up to him. She tensed, but he lowered his head and softly placed his lips against hers. She felt a wave of peace and warmth course through her. His hand slid to the back of her neck and pressed her closer. She tightened her arms around his strong back and drew him as near to her as she could. Heat suffused her, but it was gentle like standing in front of a dwindling fire. She knew that it could bank up at any moment, but for now she smoldered. She wanted to laugh and to cry at the exhilaration, the sinfulness, and the possibility that she may have been wrong about this man.
Waleran pulled away and she let him go reluctantly. His cheeks were red, his lips parted and wet. He held her gaze, and she did not
– nay, could not – look away this time.
He stepped away from her, his movements stiff and formal. He bowed to her slightly. “My lady, I will await our meeting at supper.”
He turned on his heel and glared at his father. “Are you happy now?” Waleran stormed from the halls.
Avelina felt like cold water had been pour over her. Maybe she didn’t do it right. Maybe he was just faking to please his father. It hurt. She wanted him to like it just as much as she did, to be in the sin as much as she.
Richard walked over to her and smoothed back her hair. Tears burned in her eyes, but she would be damned before she let them fall. “My son is a troubled me, Avelina. Do not let his stupidity harm you. He just doesn’t understand what he does.”
One fat, sloppy tear fell from her face and splashed on his hand. Both pretended that it didn’t happen.
The man stood at the foot of the bed. Blood gushed from his neck, his face a ruin of flesh. “You must, you must!!!”
Waleran gasped for air and sat up. He stared at the foot of the bed, but there was nothing to see but his strong cabinet. He looked to his right and the man was next to him. He could see the gore oozing from his face.
“You must tell my son that Geoffrey De Mandeville is a villain. You must tell him. See what he did to me.” The man gestured towards his neck. “You must go and tell him.”
From across the room, a young lady called to him. She was wearing a skirt that was bloodied up to her waist. “Waleran.”
Waleran put his hands to his ears and yelled, “Don’t use my name!”
“Waleran,” she continued undaunted. “You must tell my husband that it was not his fault that I died. Tell him the babe is safe with me now. You must tell him.”
Two more people appeared at the fringes of the room. Waleran jumped out of bed and ran for the door. It was locked – or his fingers trembled when he tried to open it. He could not tell. It was always like that.
“Waleran!” They all said it now. He could not even tell which one.
“I can’t help you! I have a life of my own to lead. I can’t find your loved ones. They would throw me into a prison; they would excommunicate me and call me Satan. I cannot do what you want.” He crouched against the door and threw his hands over his head as if to stave away a blow. “Go away!”
Lynda Marie Vanderhoff Page 1