by Jacob Spadt
“How dare you priest. I just woke up from a coma, as you are very aware and it is literally the first day. You are accusing me of seeing daemons just because I have had a few dreams about them and said they were real to such an extent that it felt like I had seen them.” I paused to cough because even though my voice worked, it was still difficult to talk. “I have not even been awake from my coma for a day, and you are here accusing me of something that’s insane. If you had some…” he cut me off mid-sentence.
“Listen, you little brat. I have watched over you and prayed for you for years now, knowing full well that the wounds you have been receiving were not the marks of Christ. Evil of the highest order attacked you and exposure to that kind of evil will taint you. You are going to confess your associa…” This time I cut him off, astounded at what I was hearing.
“How DARE you, you ass. How can you call yourself a man of the cloth? I was not even awake, and it does not make any sense to me nor can I give you answers. You need to get out of my room. NURSE!” my voice cracked.
He was on his feet now in may face. I could smell alcohol on his breath. “Some priest,” I thought when he grabbed me by the shoulder and placed his hand on my forehead. I was too weak to fight him off and felt something against my skin. My head was swimming. He spoke in some un-recognized language.
“Exorcizamus te, omnis immunde spiritus, omni satanica potestas, omnis incursio infernalis adversarii, omnis legio, omnis congregatio et secta diabolica, in nomini et virtute Domini nostri Jesu Christi, eradicare…”
His voice seemed to fade even though his lips were moving. The room spun. I could not hear anything now. A fog settled over my mind, taking all my senses away. My body went numb, taking my vision with it. A familiar smell tickled the senses. Something excited me…something from before. My will begged for it to stop for I could handle no more. He needed to go away before I hurt him. Even in this state, I knew I could tear him apart. Something primal was awakening. It would have been easy.
I saw the fog bank clear and a weird looking man approached me looking at me in a strange fashion. He looked like some sort of native or maybe was dressed like a native or a mystic. Perhaps he was a Shaman. Very strange markings adorned his face and hands. The patterns on his clothing were not identifiable. They seemed to move on their own. Something was at my back and this felt familiar. He moved with purpose right up to me placing his hand on my forehead and spoke.
“Crux sacra sit mihi lux! Nunquam draco sit mihi dux. Vade retro Satana! Nunquam suade mihi vana! Sunt …” Suddenly he was pulled away from me still speaking, “libas. Ipse venena bib…”
As the mist parted, some unseen force pulled him away and then reclosed again, swallowing him up. A voice far off called my name. It was getting closer slowly. Sitting there covering my eyes trying to make sense of what just happened, my body began to shake. Fear gripped me and there was something in my eyes now. Trying to clear them, a viscous fluid was sticking to my eyelids making it difficult. Voices in the distance, a chorus sang out, but the words were not clear.
Am I dreaming again?
Many hands were on my wrists gripping gently but firmly. A voice called out my name again, muffled this time. Disorientation and dizziness took hold. Fluid was in my mouth and then all down the front of me. It was really thick and foamy. Panic set in when I felt my eyes open again even though I thought they had been. Foamy spit was coming out of my mouth. I was starting to hear more now.
“Start an I.V. drip of….”
“The tube needs to be in his…”
“OH my god we are losing him…” More murmuring, that I could not pick out, and a flurry of movement was all around. A mask was over my nose…. needles and nurses brandishing them. A cop? Someone brought in a cart full of hoses and tubes…. Something beeping like it was running a race.
“…curiosity…find that priest…have gotten far.”
“….actually used a cyanide pi…”
I felt silence as if it was a physical state, followed by weakness, and could not breathe. It was like was drowning. Cold waves rolled over me in a pulse like fashion. I could hear voices still, but they were inaudible. Something smelled funny and I had this horrible taste in my mouth. I heard another voice, very bold and beautiful, as if there were multiple voices woven into one. Behind all of this the beeping was a steady “Beeeeeeeeeep!”
A muffled voice in the distance made mention of calling me something, but it used the word “it.” Then all was quiet, save the steady tone, almost like when you pick up the phone but do not dial right away. The sound became faded as if it moved away rapidly. Serenity washed over me like a wave of energy like everything was going to be all right. I saw the color gold, a solid color, but a rainbow effect danced front of it in a shifting pattern. A shape started to coalesce in front of me and started to come into view. Suddenly a voice was in front of me. Something surged through me.
“YOU NEED TO FIGHT.” A clap of thunder rolled in the distance. I felt moisture saturating the front of me. I was coughing and gagging. Another big breath and the room came into view slowly. It was full of people. Nurses and a few doctors were in various positions around the room. They all stared at me.
“Oh my GOD…Doctorrrr”
I was sitting up. Looking around the room, all of their faces fixed on mine. A more then putrid vomit was running slowly down the front of me; the horrible taste lingered in my mouth. Shocked looks greeted me and no one moved. I could compare it to an old Telecom commercial I had seen once. You could have heard anything drop on the floor. Thirst gripped me hard as I tried to swallow to clear my throat, but the inserted tube prevented such an action. A feeling of dread was in the room that was so heavy it felt like something was truly wrong. All eyes stared at me for another moment then like a coordinated dance sprang into action as towels, tubes, and other instruments seemed to be getting removed from me and other devices or tools where replacing them. The heart monitor was returning to normal while a nurse was taking a hold of the tube and suction in my mouth was evacuating the vile fluids. Cool water flowed several times then I coughed trying to get air once the tube vanished.
“Oh my God, he is breathing on his own…”
“Can I get some water?” I coughed out. “This taste is horrible.”
XX
Aftermath
“At first I couldn’t breathe,” I said, beginning to recount my story. “Something felt like it was in my mouth obstructing my airway. I got dizzy. Pins and needles felt euphoric.” Why were traumatic situations often pleasurable? “People talk about a white light and a tunnel. I didn’t see either of these.”
Words stumbled a bit as my recounting labored. The entire experience burned into my mind. I could see the memory, smell it, and taste it even, but finding the right words seemed to be an issue. I tried not to pause, even though it seemed to be adding to the drama of the moment.
She seemed to be hanging on my every word and processing my previous words. “Last time I remembered any sort of similar experience was when I went into the hospital.” Laughing internally at the irony that this happened twice, I tried to stick to the task. The strange thing was being aware that my body was unconscious. How that was possible while maintaining cognitive thought was perplexing. She nodded her head keeping her eyes locked on mine
Yet here I was. Talking to this Goddess, I kept thinking. She had a look on her face like she was about to break down and pour forth with emotion. Her touch was so tender and nurturing as she checked my vitals and she took a lot longer this time. Seeing this woman smile made me forget everything that had just happened to me for a few moments. I was declared legally dead apparently for about three seconds before sitting up on my own. The priest failed... something not too soon forgotten.
"I felt water all around me. The sensation of floating was present but was not able to move, just that feeling of buoyancy and being fully submerged. The water around me moved gently moving. It was like a plant swaying in the gentle breeze. Th
ere was a slight feeling of tranquility, but nothing but blackness surrounded me. Burning sensations rolled over me like my skin was on fire. Heat seared my lungs. My body twitched violently, spasm’s rolled all over, then stopped.”
That part bothered me. The violent spasms felt so pronounced. Such a feeling was so hard to dismiss.
I looked at her. When gazing at those eyes, something in the pit of my stomach penetrated my soul. She caught me staring. A brief smile flared then she looked down. ‘Sigh’ if it were an emotion, encapsulated my soul. Life took on new meaning and the desire to pick her up and hold her though weak as a kitten was my current state of being. Had my strength been like that in my dreams breaking that priest in half before he even got that pill in my mouth would have been a reality, hell, before he even touched his cross to my forehead. She stood there patiently waiting for me to finish my thought that was almost lost due to the radiant energy felt from her gazed at me.
“This feeling continued as my dream like state unfolded. The violent contraction turned to tremors…then nothing. It felt like the ability to pan my surroundings returned even though I could not. A bright flash, like an explosion, erupted...then the air flow reversed. Next thing I knew my eyes opened to chaos. That acidic foam spewed up and out all over me. It was rather disgusting.”
“All that happened in several seconds? That’s mind blowing,” she said scrawling something on my chart. Eryn had a point that admittedly did not make sense. All of that had indeed occurred in a very short time...yet it seemed like it was a lot longer from the perspective currently known, a lot longer. With nothing mustered to say I nodded in agreement. She was completely accurate.
Somehow time had changed and had lasted a lot longer. A long gaze followed and making me pauses. I must have been staring or something because she smiled and turned away suddenly. A sniffle barely audible came from her as she wrote on her clipboard. The scrawling of the pen in a ferocious manner was very loud for several moments then the metal clatter as she closed it. She dropped it in a holder on the end of my bed. A moment of silence hung. Eryn stood there facing the door. With a sigh, she looked back over her left shoulder and surprised me at what she said.
“You keep an eye out and try not to sleep. I know it may be difficult, but there is a strange feeling coming over the staff and the ward regarding you.” Her voice reduced to a whisper. “That priest’s actions really have every one worried as to why he would try to kill you even if there was some merit to his reason or logic.”
“Let alone, why would the church sanction something like murder….oh wait the Spanish Inquisition? Did we forget about that already? I did not sleep much last night so I don’t know how long I can remain awake but will do my best.” I had too many thoughts creating pressure in my head. A slight twinge of pain made my facial muscles spasm for a moment.
“I’m off shift; try to sleep. I will be back in eight hours. I offered to work double the next few days so I’ll be around.” She turned and looked right at me and smiled. “Just be careful.”
She walked away briskly. The door closed. I was alone. She has got to be kidding that I need to be careful in a hospital, I thought. Then again, a priest, a man of the cloth….or supposed to be, tried to end my life with a capsule of cyanide. If that did not open my eyes that there was something wrong, no telling what would. I was at the mercy of others. My control of my own life was gone. My first priority needed to be to get it back. How to do this was still a mystery.
The clock ticked slowly as if to mock my plight. ‘Twelve o’ eight’ Eryn would be back in the morning staying awake was my first mission. It was hard to believe that I had been dead five hours ago. What was harder to believe was in details of those few moments that lasted longer on the subconscious. Being dead for a few minutes must have felt like an eternity to the staff helping me before they finally gave up; then having me sit up on my own gasping for air.
Killed by a priest that got away clean. The police had not found him yet. He had eluded them. A citywide search was under way. I overheard the television in the hallway on my way back from having my lungs sucked clean. They used a device, like a vaccuum, made specifically for survivors of drowning. Even though it felt like they sucked your lungs out of your chest. There was no pain. It was strong enough to pull excess moisture but gentle enough that it did not damage the tissue. Afterwards, coughing for several minutes produced lots of the fluid, a by-product of the vapors to loosen the inhaled toxins.
They were worried that the scarring in the lungs meant I would have to live on life support in some closed, bacteria free environment, but when they listened to me breathe it was perfectly fine. This perplexed them so much that they took x-rays and would “get back to me.” Swabbing even told them no surface tissue damage had occurred. The prognosis had several of the doctors perplexed.
Then there was my blood work. The doctors told me the amount of poison absorbed in to the blood was enough to kill a person several times over with cyanide. The Strange thing is the amount given to me was quite a bit. It was a fast, silent killer in the sense, which the victim usually could not speak due to the “foaming of the mouth.” It tasted like almonds, burnt almonds. Talk about a nasty after taste that stayed with you.
The clock rolled to twelve o nine. A whole minute had passed in my massive internal dialogue. It was going to be a long night to be alone with my thoughts. With the speed my mind was processing; I would be out of things to think about without being redundant. My focus changed back to trying to replay the dream. The mistake did not become obvious until they re-opened to see 6:23 on the clock. Sleep had taken me rather quickly. A quick pan of the corners did not yield any evil priests. A sigh of relief escaped my lips.
The room was quiet.
Minutes passed. I began to wish Eryn would show up. Gazing upon her was beautiful in a way never imagined before. She was a woman, not a girl to start. She was mature and funny, yet serious and business like. It made me think about my surrounds even more now because worrying about her getting hurt in this new situation was a factor. Her safety was also a concern, especially if she stood between a crazy priest and me.
Thoughts poured in, reminding me of when my eyes first saw her, merely a day ago. Her beauty had caught me off guard. There was no way to be prepared for anything of that nature upon coming out of a coma. Nothing can truly prepare one, in my eyes, even in my self-reflection. The world had changed. More importantly MY world had changed. A slight feeling of doom hung over me now that someone had tried to take my life. Anger flared at the thought made me sit upright quickly. My strength was growing; it felt good to feel it return. My toes wiggled while contemplation of trying to stand became a mental debate. Deciding against it when the image of me falling on the floor came to mind, the torture of boredom set in. I had suffered enough traumas for one week and no amount of logic could take that away. One thought rolled into my mind again.
A damn priest tried to kill me!
Anger swelled again. My pulse pounded in my throat on both sides. Breathing increased. Pressure in my temples and my eyes started to cause pain. The desire to kill that bastard for what he tried to do rampaged through any remaining peaceful thoughts. Without realizing it, my hands beat the bed with closed fists striking the metal frame. The impact made me jump. It was a solid hit. I expected to feel pain. None arrived. In return, there was exhilaration hitting something. Again my fist struck again and again until they were bloody, and the crimson scent of my own essence drove me further into frenzy.
My actions drew in the night watch nurse and several of his friends. Before I knew it, with a great struggle, they restrained me. Even trying to be gentle about it the nature of what they had to do was forceful and hurt quite a bit. Several of them got a bit more than they bargained for before succeeding. The restraints they used were not easy to get on an unwilling participant, but that is where four of them became part of the equation. I felt the needles go in on both arms. A haze covered my mind, making it hard to move an
d a cool sensation hit my blood stream that took only moments for it to take effect. The image of an orderly, though blurry, caught my attention as the drugs coursed its way through. Hoping he was not going to hit me brought a sudden wave of fear up that to my surprise helped me calm down. The euphoria hit and pushed me through a door that suddenly appeared in my mind. An image or Eryn appeared and a phrase hit me out of the blue.
A glorious thing I have seen today,
When beauty so fair has touched me this way,
When she enters the room is aglow,
I want to share this tenderness so.
Pausing for a second and staring at the wall, I felt ideas begin to wrap around my creative thoughts. Never had any ever been composed in such a way let alone a poem or something poetic. The gentle words just flowed right out of my mind like a spring bubbling out of the ground. The certainty and intensity carried a weight with it that did catch me off guard. My heart actually felt a little lighter at the thoughts of her poured out of me and into creation. I do not know what love truly feels like, but I smiled at this new warmth experienced. The words hit me again slowly. While trying to grasp the feeling of the words that came out of my mouth, a smile crept over me. The last phrase brought about a certain emotion but did not feel dirty. It was almost as though I had confessed something that had just opened my eyes to a whole different world.
I was falling for her and I barely knew her.