Her head felt heavy and she let it fall back. Her bound hands around the post were the only thing that kept her from sliding into a puddle on the floor. She was no longer Marissa Roberts, MD, or Marissa Roberts the woman, or even Marissa Roberts, the sub girl. She was just sensation. Pure, perfect sensation, her spirit rising from her body as the leather kissed and stroked her skin with what she could only define as love.
When she opened her eyes, she was confused to find herself on the ground. She was leaning back against someone, whose strong, masculine arms were wrapped around her from behind. As she came more fully to herself, she realized it was Cam holding her. She must have somehow passed out or something.
Whatever had happened, she was engulfed in a deeply satisfying sense of utter well-being. Though still disoriented, she leaned back her head and smiled up at the gorgeous sexy man who was holding her.
Defenses completely lowered, she blurted, “Wow, that was fucking amazing. No offense, but it really sucks that you’re gay.”
Chapter 6
“I’m sorry, what?” Cam was sitting behind Marissa on the floor near the cross, his arms around her. He had been rocking her gently as she returned to planet earth, drifting in a pleasant fantasy that he wasn’t her trainer, but rather her lover—the lover who would soon carry her to bed and make love to her.
Her words smashed through his reverie like a fist to the jaw, and he actually whipped his head back from the impact. Marissa twisted to face him, extricating herself from his arms in the process. “Oh!” she exclaimed “Sir. I should have said Sir. I didn’t ask permission to speak. I forgot. I—”
“No, no,” Cam interjected. “That’s okay, Marissa. The assessment, the scene—it’s over. It’s okay. This is called aftercare. Where I help you come down from the high of the experience. No more Master or Sir required.”
She looked relieved. “Oh, okay, then. Phew.”
Cam smiled, but he wasn’t about to drop the subject. “So, I need clarification here. You think I’m gay?”
She bit her lower lip, her eyes sliding away from his. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I hope that wasn’t rude to say. It just kind of slipped out.”
Cam couldn’t help it. He started to laugh. He supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised. Marissa knew him first as a nurse, and he’d heard the whispers and seen the looks of some of the staff when he passed by.
She met his eyes, crossed her arms over her breasts and frowned. “What? What’s funny?”
He shook his head. “Forgive me.” He was still grinning. “I hate to burst your bubble, but I’m straight as an arrow.”
Her expression moved to one of confusion. “Wait, what? You mean you’re…you’re not gay?” she stammered. Color was washing prettily over her cheeks and throat.
It took every ounce of self-control for Cam not to gather her into his arms. “No, I’m not. What made you think I was? Surely not just because I’m a nurse?”
“No, not at all,” she said with such conviction he wondered if she, if not lying, was perhaps hedging the truth a bit.
He didn’t let her off the hook. “Okay, so then…what?”
Again she looked away. “Oh, well, the other nurses were saying, I mean…Janice saw… Oh god, I’m really confused right now.”
Cam relented. “Hey, I’m just busting your chops.” He pushed himself to his feet and headed toward the wall hooks where the clean robes were hung. He grabbed one and returned to her. As he placed it around her shoulders, he said, “So, I’m all ears. What juicy gossip did Janice have to spread this time?”
Marissa offered a rueful smile. “So, you’re already on to her, huh? You’re right. I should have considered the source. Usually I know better. She swore she saw you going into a gay sex shop in the Village.”
Cam slapped his forehead. “Ah, now I remember. I did see Janice down in the Village the other day. What she actually saw was me heading into C&C’s.” Marissa looked blank, and Cam elaborated. “It’s a BDSM gear shop. I suppose, in Janice’s defense, not that she deserves any, the mannequin in the window at C&C’s is a male dressed in BDSM leathers and chains, a ball gag over his mouth. She obviously drew her own conclusions.”
Marissa started to laugh, a full-throated, open laugh that filled Cam with an irrational joy. He started to laugh too. Still chuckling, he leaned toward her and extended his hand. She took it, allowing him to help her up.
They regarded each other for a long moment, each growing serious again. Cam’s lips tingled with the need to feel the press of her mouth against his, but he held himself in check.
Marissa tied the sash of the robe around her slender waist. “So,” she said, pushing her hair from her face and tucking it behind her small, pretty ears. “Tell me the truth. How did I do tonight? Did I pass the audition?”
“You did, Marissa,” Cam said sincerely. “I can honestly and without reservation recommend you to Jack as a provisional member of the club.”
As he said it, he silently marveled at how little anyone knew about the people they worked with. Dr. Roberts, with her brisk, no-nonsense manner on the job, was secretly a passionate, sensual masochist with incredible potential as a submissive. And here she’d been right in his backyard, so to speak, and he’d had no idea.
“Provisional?” she countered.
Cam smiled. “Yeah. Jack is super cautious about admittance. He had a few problems with some guys a while back that nearly got the place shut down, so he’s very careful about who he accepts. Three months probation, and you can join as a full-fledged member.”
There was a sharp rap at the door. Cam glanced at his watch. “Oh, shit,” he said. “I have a client booked for the next hour. That’s my five-minute warning. I’ll just talk to Jack real quick and let him know you’re in.”
“Oh. You have a client? Now?” Marissa looked crestfallen, which made Cam smile again. He realized he’d been smiling so much in the last few minutes that his cheeks actually ached.
Taking a chance, he said, “Listen, could you maybe wait for me? It’s a light night. I only have one half-hour session after this one coming up. I’d love to take you out for coffee or a glass of wine or something.” Suddenly he realized the assumption he’d made, and he added quickly, “I mean, uh, that is, if you came alone.”
“I came with my friends, Tony and Dana. Do you know them?”
Cam nodded. “I know who they are, but I don’t know them well.” He offered an apologetic shrug. “I don’t get a chance to spend much time in the outer room. I mostly work with clients and potential members back here. So”—he assumed a casual tone— “Tony and Dana are just…friends?” He’d learned in the scene not to make assumptions about the nature of D/s relationships, and ménages, especially those consisting of a Dom and two subs, were not all that unusual.
Marissa smiled. “Just friends. Really Dana is my friend. Tony’s her husband. But he’s the one that got me this, uh, assessment.”
“So, would they be cool if you came with them, but left with me? More to the point, would you be cool with it?”
Her smile widened and she ducked her head in a coquettish way that had nothing to do with Marissa Roberts, MD and everything to do with a sexy, flirtatious sub girl. “Yes, Sir. I’d be very cool with it.”
~*~
Dana and Tony were still sitting where she’d left them when Marissa returned to the outer room. Dana’s hair was a bit disheveled, her mascara a little smeared, which led Marissa to think they’d been doing some scening of their own during her absence.
“Well,” Dana said eagerly, as Tony stood and pulled out a chair for Marissa. “How did it go? Tell us everything!”
Marissa sat, offering a nod of thanks to Tony. “It went great,” she said, unable to stop the wide smile that spread over her face.
Dana was regarding her expectantly. “Come on, details, girlfriend! I’ve never even seen the inner room. I want a full description of everything that happened, from the second you entered the room until you came
Tony sipped his wine as he regarded his wife with an indulgent smile.
Where to start? Marissa had already decided she didn’t plan to share the fact that she and Cam worked together. She had a sense that would be violating his privacy. Nor did she plan to divulge her deeply personal, visceral response not only to what he’d done, but to the man himself. It was all still so new and precious—she wanted to have time alone to digest, dissect and savor every moment.
“Let’s see,” she said, composing her thoughts. “The place wasn’t all that different from your playroom, except more equipment and more gear.” She went on to describe the basics of what the assessment entailed, leaving out their conversation during the aftercare, or the fact that Cam had pulled a powerful climax from her.
“It sounds amazing,” Dana breathed, hanging on to every word. “So what happens now?”
“Cam, er, the trainer, is going to talk to Jack. He says he’s going to recommend me for provisional membership.”
“Well, that’s great!” Dana enthused. “Oh, Marissa, I’m so proud of you!”
“Well done,” Tony echoed. “Congratulations.”
As if on cue, Jack Morris suddenly appeared beside their table. “Excuse me,” he said, staring down at Marissa. “If I might have a word with you in private?”
Though she knew the news was good, something about his tone and the way he seemed to look past her eyes into her most secret thoughts was disconcerting. Marissa swallowed and nodded. As she pushed back her chair, Jack said to the others, “If you’ll excuse us for a moment.”
“Of course.” Tony nodded, waving them away with his glass.
Marissa followed Jack to the bar, where they both sat on stools at the far end, away from anyone else. Jack swiveled on his stool to face her. His voice was deep, and power seemed to radiate from his pores. “The trainer was quite positive in his assessment, Marissa. I’m pleased to offer you a provisional membership, assuming the terms of our membership agreement meet with your approval.”
He pulled a piece of paper that was folded lengthwise from his back pocket and spread it on the bar in front of Marissa. “You can read that at your convenience, and if you are agreed, just sign and return it to me.”
“Thank you, Sir.” The “Sir” had just popped out without any premeditation. Jack exuded an authority that seemed to require the appellation. “I really appreciate it.”
Jack stood. Staring into her eyes, he stroked her cheek with a single, large finger. Though she wasn’t sexually attracted to Jack, his touch sent a shiver through her, and she had a sudden nearly overwhelming desire to fall to her knees in front of him.
Fortunately, he broke the spell. Dropping his hand, he said brusquely, “Enjoy the rest of your evening, Marissa. I look forward to seeing you again.” She stared after him as he strode away.
Dana appeared beside her a moment later. “What did he say? What did he say? Are you in?”
Marissa held up the piece of paper he’d given her. “This is the provisional membership agreement. I just have to sign it, and yes, I’m in.” She grinned suddenly at the prospect.
They returned to the table. Marissa scanned the document quickly. It was basically a confidentiality agreement, with Marissa promising to keep everything that went on at the club strictly private, along with some rules about proper conduct, exchange of bodily fluids and management's responsibility or lack thereof for any injuries suffered during play. It also outlined a fee schedule that seemed quite reasonable to Marissa.
Tony asked to see the document, and pulled out some reading glasses to peruse it. After a moment, he pronounced that he saw no legal reasons for her not to sign. He produced a pen and held it out to her.
Marissa took the pen and signed on the dotted line at the bottom of the page, a whole swarm of butterflies suddenly swooping inside her. “It’s official then,” Dana said, watching her. “You’re now a sister sub in the BDSM community. Welcome to the most exciting and supportive group in the world.” She stood and leaned over Marissa, giving her a big hug. Sitting back down, she added, “Now, we just need to find you a Master.”
Marissa’s smile widened into a grin. “Well,” she said, “about that…”
“What?” Dana demanded. “What about that?” Her eyes widened. “Hold on. You aren’t saying Jack…? Jack doesn’t even like—”
“No, no,” Marissa interrupted with a laugh. “Not Jack. Cam. The trainer.” As Dana’s eyes widened, Marissa hurriedly amended, “I’m not saying he’s going to be my Master or anything. But when the trainer is done with his sessions in about an hour or so, we’re going to, I mean, he’s invited me out for a drink.”
Dana regarded her for a few seconds, her face splitting into a widening grin. “Marissa Roberts, get out of town! That dude has a rep as untouchable. Never scenes in the outer room. You spend forty-five minutes with him and whammo, he’s taking you on a date?”
“You saw how responsive Marissa was in our playroom,” Tony interjected. “Are you really so surprised?”
“Surprised?” Dana shook her head. “No, not surprised. Just pleased as punch. Way to go, Marissa, honey.”
Marissa shook her head and gave an exasperated laugh. “It’s not a date. Why do I feel like you two are marrying me off? We’re just going for a coffee or something. We actually know each other from the outside.”
Oops. She hadn’t meant to say that. Oh well, the cat was out of the bag, but she’d make sure and leave it at that.
Both Tony and Dana looked surprised. “Really? But that’s amazing. Who is he? Do you work with him?” Dana demanded. Tony put his hand on Dana’s arm and gave a small shake of his head.
Marissa picked up the membership agreement. “Confidentiality,” she reminded Dana. “I shouldn’t even have said that much.”
Dana nodded. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Forget I asked.” She leaned close to Marissa’s ear and said in a stage whisper, “You can tell me later.”
~*~
The waitress brought them each an espresso in a tiny porcelain cup and set a plate of baklava between them. Cam had found himself on autopilot several times during his sessions, and had to force himself to forget Marissa long enough to do his clients justice. Now he was free to focus entirely on the lovely woman who sat across from him.
She lifted a piece of the sticky honey pastry and took a bite, her eyes fluttering shut in appreciation. Cam grinned, pleased she seemed to like his choice of location and dessert. “It’s delicious, right? I love this place, and they’re open until three a.m., which is great when you work nights like I do at the club.”
“I’m still trying to get my head around all this. There’s a whole world out there I never even dreamed of, to tell you the truth. This is all so new.”
“Tell me a little about your experience in the scene,” Cam said. “I know you’ve had no formal training, but obviously you’ve been involved in some way in D/s, right?”
Marissa shook her head. “Not really. Until very recently, I was what my friend referred to as sub-curious.”
“Sub-curious.” Cam smiled. “I like that.” He took a bite of his baklava as he waited for her to continue.
“Yeah.” Marissa smiled. She had an adorable dimple in her left cheek, and another in her chin. “I mean, I’ve had these kinds of feelings—submissive feelings I guess you’d say, pretty much all my adult life, but I didn’t really know what to call them, and I certainly didn’t act on them. Not until recently, that is.” She told him about Dana, and the events that led to the assessment.
“That’s a pretty incredible story, Marissa. I mean, based on your reactions during the assessment I was sure you’d had at least some experience beyond what you’re telling me. Your responses were so powerful—so passionate. I’ve worked with a lot of subs in my time, and for some it takes years to fly the way you did. Hell, some never do. Your ability to let go—to trust—it’s quite remarkable.”
; Marissa ducked her head and smiled shyly. “It’s because of you,” she said softly. “You made me feel…” She paused, seeming to look for the word. “Safe.”
“Thank you,” Cam said, her words warming him to his toes. “That means a lot to me. Trust is the foundation of D/s.”
“It’s the foundation of a lot of things,” Marissa said, looking up. “There’s something about you, Cam. I guess it’s what makes you such a good nurse, too. In the short time you’ve been at the hospital, you’re already making quite a reputation for yourself, did you know that? You make people feel safe there too, both staff and patients alike. They know they can trust you. It’s a gift.”
Cam couldn’t stop the wide smile that Marissa’s words brought to his face. “Thank you,” he said again. But her mention of the hospital brought him back to one of the things he wanted to talk to her about. “About the hospital,” he said. “Obviously we work together, and I hope it’s equally obvious that I want to see more of you. Is there going to be a problem, a conflict in that regard?”
Marissa pursed her lips, as if weighing what she wanted to say. Cam ached to kiss those sweet pouting lips, but held himself in check, taking a bite of baklava instead. Finally she said, “More of me, huh? I think you’ve seen just about all of me there is!” She smiled, though a rosy blush bloomed on her cheeks.
Cam laughed and put his hand over hers, pleased when she didn’t pull it away. “I want to see more, to know more. Much, much more. And not as a trainer hired to give an assessment. But as a man with a woman.”
Marissa’s eyes were bright and Cam was pretty sure he didn’t imagine the sudden shudder that moved through her frame at his words, or the nearly imperceptible sigh. After a moment, she cleared her throat and offered a small embarrassed laugh. Assuming the professional tone Cam was used to at the hospital, she continued, “Normally I make it a personal policy to keep work and personal life separate. I mean, it’s just easier that way, don’t you agree?”
-->