by Opal Carew
All this dithering madness goes through my head in about a tenth of a second, just about the time it takes for him to twist around and look at me as if he’s read my thoughts from a distance.
He doesn’t smile at first. He just gives me a long, intent look while I stare gormlessly at him. I swear my mouth has dropped open, and I’m almost salivating, as if he’s the most delicious meal in the world and I’ve been starving for a decade. Then he does crack a smile, as if I look just as silly as I feel, but his face is warm and genuinely happy. He is as glad to see me as I am to see him, I can swear it!
Swinging his long legs over the wall, he stands up and walks towards me, looking dark and dangerous in his leather and the black T-shirt he has on beneath his jacket. His boots make him look even more intimidating and like a master, but in the best possible way. Desire grabs me low in the gut, heavy and delicious and almost instantaneous. I want to be in bed with him. Immediately. Oh heck, what sort of state is my flat in? Was it a tip when I left this morning? Hell, I don’t think I even made the bed.
When he’s standing in front of me, right in front of me, looking down, I don’t know what to say. A million emotions are churning about, too many to express. But his eyes are brilliant, deep and wise, as if he knows my confusion, and when he gives a wry little shrug, I realise that he’s feeling some of the same inner turmoil himself.
And, goddammit, here’s here, isn’t he? He’s come to me when by rights he should have never wanted to see me again, ever, considering that I’ve run out on him, more or less, twice already.
‘I didn’t mean to just rush off like that,’ I manage to force out, sounding frazzled, ‘I… I didn’t—’
He reaches for my hand. ‘It’s all right. You don’t have to explain anything.’ His fingers tighten and his thumb moves gently, caressingly. ‘As long as you’re not going to run out on me now, we’re good.’ His eyes narrow slightly, and he fixes me with that dark, dazzling green intensity. ‘If you’re not interested, just say so now, and I’ll be on my bike and away again. No hard feelings.’ The thumb moves again, coaxing, cajoling. ‘But I think we have unfinished business, you and I. The business of being good for one another, me broadening your horizons, and you… well, you letting me. If you’re willing?’ Suddenly he snags his lower lip with his white teeth, transformed back into the tender young man who loved me again. ‘And maybe more than that, if we give it a bit of time.’
I feel as if I’m floating up in the air with relief. I feel as if I want to whirl around, dancing and singing. I almost would do, but that would mean letting go of Jamie’s warm, caressing hand, his gentle, kind hand that can do fearsomely powerful and commanding, and deliciously painful things, if I want it to.
‘Are you all right?’ He grins at me now.
Obviously my crazy inner feelings are clear on my face, and I look like a lunatic. ‘I’m fine. I’m more than fine. Just glad you’re here. I’ve wanted to contact you, but… Well, I was waiting to get your number from Sarah and Ben. I didn’t want to contact you through your business details or via your family. I wanted to explain. To tell you that I made a mistake, rushing off. And before, really… you know, when we first knew each other.’
Now I sound like a loony too, a babbling fool. What must he think of me?
But I can tell what he thinks. Suddenly it’s on his face in a happy look. A look of relief that matches mine. He isn’t the master from the bedroom, or the young lad who took my virginity. He’s just a man who’s glad to hear what I’ve just said. Because it was what he wanted to hear.
‘I told you. You don’t have to explain anything, Suzie.’ He takes my face in his hands, angling it so we’re looking into each other’s eyes. Compelling me to drown in the radiant green beauty of his gaze. Slowly, measuredly, he presses his lips against mine and gives me an almost reverent kiss. There’s nothing sexy, no tongues, just a communion. It lasts but a moment, but it’s deep, deep, deep.
‘If anything, I’m the one who should be explaining.’ He makes a little quirk of the lips, not exactly shamefaced, but something like that. ‘I’ve been in America on business. Brokering a deal. But I shouldn’t have just dashed off either. I should have contacted you.’
I press forward. Steal another kiss.
‘So we’re both at fault, then, eh? Sounds like that fresh start idea would be the best thing for both of us.’
‘Like I said.’ He arches a dark eyebrow at me. ‘And now we’ve got that out of the way, why don’t we just go somewhere and have ourselves some fun?’
I want to jump up and down again. That, or just jump on top of Jamie in a bed. For the moment, I’m not even bothered about playing BDSM games. I just want to be with him, skin to skin.
‘Do you want to come back to my place? It might be a bit of a tip though. I’m still just as messy as I always was.’
‘I thought we might celebrate at The Retreat again.’ He looks a teeny tiny bit smug now. ‘I booked us a suite there, just in case.’
Wow. Just like that. I’m not into money per se, but it’s nice that he’s doing very well for himself, and I’m pleased for him.
‘Cool! That’s brilliant. But how are we going to get there?’ I eye his motorbike, propped on its stand. It looks a powerful beast—the steed of another powerful beast—and I’ve never been astride one.
‘Well, you’ve got jeans and proper shoes on, and I’ve got a spare helmet in the box.’ He nods at the moulded luggage box behind the passenger seat. ‘So I thought I might whisk you there on the bike. Are you game for that?’
‘I… I don’t know. I’ve never ridden on a motorcycle.’
‘You’ll love it. You just have to trust me.’ He winks suddenly, and boyishly says, ‘You trusted me when we were last at The Retreat, and that turned out okay, didn’t it?’
More than okay. I feel myself blushing, remembering the pleasure and the strange way that pain had intensified it.
‘Well yes, but there was no traffic involved, and there was just us two, and no powerful, high-speed machine.’ I’m wavering. Tempted. It’d be a different kind of thrill. A different ‘first’ shared with the man who’s been there for most of my significant grown-up firsts. ‘All right then, but not too fast, eh?’
Jamie beams. ‘I’ll keep it very sedate. I promise. Are you game for The Retreat too? I can always just take you home if you prefer.’
I think of my slummy flat with nobody waiting there for me. No flatmate, no pet even, and not a single thing planned for the weekend. ‘Yeah, I’d love to go to The Retreat. In for a penny, in for a pound, as they say. Now let’s see this helmet.’
Within moments, I have it on, a sleek, dark blue job that matches the bike. It’s an open-faced, girlie helmet, and for an instant unfocused jealousy spears me. Who else has ridden on this bike with him? What other woman has he spirited away for sex, either vanilla or kinky? But I squelch the feeling, and hopefully I wasn’t looking at Jamie when it hit me. With my bag safely tucked in the luggage box, I listen to Jamie’s instructions for riding.
‘All you have to do is hold on to me, round my middle, and just relax. Don’t try to consciously lean into curves. Your body will know what to do, so just stay loose and follow me. Got it?’ He pauses to pull on his helmet, which is full face and somewhat intimidating in a Darth Vader sort of way. It’ll be even more so when he flips down the visor. ‘If you get scared and you don’t like it, just give me a slap and I’ll stop. That’ll be our biking equivalent of “emerald”. Are you cool with that?’
I nod, just as determined as I was back at The Retreat not to utilise the get-out of the safe word.
When he’s shown me the foot pegs and the best way to get astride, he kicks the bike off its rest and braces it with his strong, lean thighs. ‘Okay, Suzie, hop on!’
It’s maybe not the most graceful of mounts, but I manage it and find myself rather liking the feel of the power and solidity of the machine between my thighs. In fact, I grin and almost giggle, thinking of a di
fferent kind of power at work between my legs. Jamie twists round to check on me, and beneath his flipped-up visor, he grins at me as if he’s read the thought.
‘Right oh, then. Ready?’
‘As I’ll ever be!’
He flips down his visor, straightens, and starts the engine, gunning it in the best boy-racer style. I wrap my arms around him like an anaconda, and after a micropause, in which he assesses my hold and deems it safe, we’re off and rolling.
My panic lasts barely a heartbeat, and then I start to love it!
Jamie
She gets it. She really gets it. I know I said I’d keep it slow, but I open up just a little on a long, clear stretch of road. Her grip on me tightens, but there’s no slap. I can feel the excitement in her body as it transmits itself through the leather at my back.
Cruising along feels so comfortable, so right. It’s not sex—although I’ve got a hard-on—but it’s still a kind of communion, a deep and physical closeness and a harbinger of things to come. I feel like we’re flying together. That everything’s all right. And I want more of this, as well as the fucking and the power play we’ll soon be enjoying.
Does Suzie want what I want? What I really want? It’s hard to tell. She’s up for broadening her horizons, but she never really answered my hint about ‘maybe more’.
Inwardly I tell myself to cool it. Just take what’s on offer, man. Don’t push. Don’t pressure. Don’t try to control outside the bedroom. She’ll come around when she’s ready, and if she wants to. And in the meantime, I’ll just enjoy the time together. Enjoy her wit and intelligence, her touch and her kindness, and her gorgeous body.
At the thought of that, my cock throbs and lurches and the temptation to push the bike faster surges.
But no, I promised her a safe, sedate ride.
We can push against other limits, in luxurious privacy, when we arrive at The Retreat.
Chapter Twelve
Susannah
Oh, God, Jamie, you look amazing!
I’ve just emerged from the bathroom, not quite sure what to expect, and here he is, standing stripped to the waist, still in his leather biking trousers and boots. Archetypal ‘master’ gear, but not a cliché, not on him. He’s a dark god of desire, and just like before I want to fall to my knees and worship.
‘Come here,’ he commands softly, and I realise I’m just dithering in the doorway. My mouth snaps shut, because I realise it was hanging open in blatant hunger at his beauty.
I pad towards him. I’ve abandoned my shoes and jeans, and my jacket, but still have the rest of my clothes on: blouse, knickers, and lace push-up bra. How timely that I chose that one today. I must be prescient.
Stopping in front of him, I wonder if I’ve come too close. I daren’t look him in the eye now. We’re already playing and I must be submissive, even if I want to just grab him and back him towards the bed where I can rip open his leather jeans and just ride him.
I’m not sure I’m really true submissive material, not right at the heart of it, not all the time. I adored the games we played here before, but my nature isn’t meek and pliable. I like my own way too much, and I like to make choices. If I’m honest with myself, I only want to submit to Jamie temporarily, because I like it, and I sense that he understands that about me too.
But, for the moment, he’s in charge, and I stand as still as I can, trying to control the way that lust is making me shake.
‘Open your shirt, Suzie. I want to see you.’
His voice. What is it about it? Somehow it’s changed, in an eye’s blink. I look up and find a different expression on his face, gentler, smiling. He shrugs and shakes his head, sweeping his hair out of his eyes and sighing.
‘What is it?’ I shouldn’t ask. I shouldn’t speak, but I know suddenly that I can, because in the blink of an eye, everything’s different. We’re out of the game without really getting into it.
‘I just want to make love, Suzie. That’s all.’
I reach up and touch his face, and he turns slightly and kisses my palm.
‘No BDSM?’
‘No, not for the moment. I’ll want to play soon, and I hope you will too.’ He kisses my palm again, cradling my hand in his. ‘But for now, I just want you. I want to be in you, and to give you pleasure. And take pleasure for myself. Are you disappointed?’
‘Hell no! It’s what I want too.’ And that’s the truth. I will want to play again soon, but for now I just want to feel his gorgeous body against me, and inside me, closer than close, sharing sex, but much more than that too.
Who knows how long our unfinished business might last? It might only be tonight, or it might be weeks, or months. But if it’s only a short time, my instinct and my need is to keep things simple and just love him as much as possible.
‘I mean… yes… I love the spanking and stuff, really, but I’d rather just fuck for now, if you don’t mind.’
He grins at the f word. ‘Okay, then, what the hell are we waiting for?’ He drags me to him, kissing hard, his hands surging over my back and my buttocks as his tongue dives in deep. My heart sings as I respond, loving the feel of all kinds of hardness against me. The wall of his muscular chest is solid, and his abs rock-hard. Imperious, his cock juts out, blindly searching for me through the tough leather of his biking trousers. How can I stop myself from rubbing myself against that? It’s a masterpiece of maleness. He growls in his throat, rocking his hips in a reciprocating motion.
Smiling and repeatedly diving in for little pecking kisses, he starts undressing me, whipping my shirt off my shoulders and easing me out of it. It flies away across the room, and my bra goes after it in a flash. He cups my breasts, strumming my nipples with his thumbs as he mutters, ‘Gorgeous, gorgeous… You have the most beautiful tits. You always did, but they’re even more adorable now.’ He sweeps down to mouth first one nipple then the other. His breath is hot against the puckered skin of my areolae, and his hair is like silk as it sweeps across my body.
As he straightens again, he cups my crotch with his palm, massaging me. He’ll be able to feel the dampness of my knickers, wet with arousal, but I’m not bothered. I’m glad he can feel how much I need him. He smiles against my mouth as he kisses me again, as if acknowledging the phenomenon.
‘Come on, you luscious tart, let’s get to bed.’ He draws me across the room to the wide, spacious bed with its immaculate linen and then half tosses me onto the firm, springy mattress. Looming over me, he pulls down my panties and hurls them in the general direction of my other abandoned clothes.
His fingers are in my cleft before I can draw breath, and with a sharp cry I rise to them, halfway to climax already.
‘Good?’ He lies down beside me, half inclined over me as he rubs me with the side of his hand, to and fro, to and fro. My clit trembles so precipitously I can’t even speak. I just nod and squirm, working back against his caressing hand and clinging to him hard.
It doesn’t take long and I’m crying, shouting out as I come in a deep, wrenching climax. ‘Jamie, Jamie, Jamie,’ I chant, but even in extremis I manage to retain a little control, keeping in my secret and not screaming out that I love him.
But somewhere inside, I half suspect he knows.
Jamie
I love her. Does she know that? If she does, does she love me? Caressing her, I will her to cry out the words, but her chant of my name dissolves into groans and sighs and panting.
But the way she holds on to me is sufficient for the moment. Maybe if I love her enough, and cherish her enough, the love she once felt for me will flower again.
Should I just tell her how I feel? Right here, right now, while she’s still shuddering? With my mouth against her temple, I almost blurt it out, but as my lips part, I balk.
No, I need to say it when we’re both calm, fully in possession of our faculties so there’s no possible blissed-out confusion. People say ‘I love you’ in the throes of passion all the time, when it’s really the last thing they feel.
; When I tell Suzie I love her, she’ll know I mean it, wholly and completely.
And in the meantime, there’s pleasure.
‘Wow!’ she gasps, returning from the wild shores.
‘Wow indeed… you look fabulous when you come.’ She does. She looks totally intense and crazy and triumphant, a work of art.
‘I don’t. I bet I look like a madwoman, pulling an ugly face.’
I ease away from her. ‘Well, then, I’d better make you come again, just to check. Maybe we can fuck in front of the mirror?’
‘Later,’ she says, her eyes sultry and amorous like a siren goddess. ‘Now I just want you out of those boots and trousers and into me. The sooner the better.’
Ooh, so demanding, so powerful. Ideas for other games flick into my mind. I’ve mostly played the dominant over the years, but I’m not afraid of going the other way. And it would be amazing with the woman I love.
‘My thoughts exactly.’ I give her a last sweet kiss and sit up to attack my boots. ‘I’ve got far too many clothes on, and you’ve got just right amount.’
Damn leather. It looks great and it’s wonderful protection for biking, but sometimes it doesn’t make for elegant undressing. I kick away my boots, peel off my socks, and attack the zip of my trousers. They fit close, and when I ease out of them, off come my shorts too, and because it’s Suzie and it matters, I find myself blushing a little when my cock springs up like tensioned steel as it’s released.
I feel like I’m going to die with pleasure when she reaches out and gently enfolds me. Her hold is sure and excited, yet careful too, not too rough or so vigorous that I’m in danger of coming before I’m ready.
‘Mm… that’s so good. Oh… yes…’ Boy, am I eloquent when I’m head over heels in love.
She strokes me for a few moments, her rhythm perfect. I’m standing here, beside a handsome bed in a five-star hotel, and I’m in paradise too.