by Opal Carew
She was dressed casually in jeans and a loose fitting blouse with a high scoop neck but despite her modest attire several men looked her way with interest. Instead of enjoying the male attention, the looks she was getting only increased her agitation and had her questioning, yet again, her decision to come here tonight.
When a man smiled at her and took steps toward her, Corinne’s stomach tightened. Then Lazarus stepped into her path, effectively blocking her view of the man who’d been making his way to her and blocking that man’s path to her. Corinne felt a relief that was vastly out of proportion to the situation.
“Hello, Corinne. It’s good to see you.”
Lazarus was a handsome man. Tall with blond hair that fell to his incredibly wide shoulders.
“Lazarus.” Her voice came out weak from nerves. She forced some strength into it. “Hello. It’s good to see you too.”
And it was, until Lazarus reached for her to give her a hug. Corinne stiffened and took a step back. Two years ago, she’d considered Lazarus a friend. But Steven had been more than a friend, he’d been her husband, her Dom. She realized it was irrational to view the entire male population with suspicion and as a possible threat, but she’d been wrong about Steven, so wrong, and she no longer trusted her judgment.
She felt awful about rebuffing Lazarus who’d done nothing to deserve her apprehension but she couldn’t bring herself to take that step to him.
What was she doing here? Coming here had definitely been a mistake.
“I have to go. Lazarus, I need to go.” Her voice came out shrill.
“Wait,” he said. “Corinne—”
He made no move to detain her which was just as well because she was precariously close to losing it. She shouldn’t have come here. She shouldn’t have come.
She made a mad dash for the door. She flung it open and collided with a man on his way in. She pushed against him, desperate to get outside. The man couldn’t have missed her desperation and he practically jumped out of her way to let her pass.
But another man was behind the first. Nate.
“Hey.” Nate crouched so their eyes were level. “You okay?”
“I just. . .” Her chest tightened. “I just need . . .” She put her hand to her throat. “. . . some . . . air.”
Nate took her hand and whisked her out the door. He released her and said, “You’ve gone pale. Bend your knees, Corinne, Bend over. Let’s get some blood back into your head. Take slow, deep breaths. In through your nose. Out through your mouth. Breathe with me.”
The cool air hit her and she gulped greedily, filling her lungs. Her heart was pounding too hard. Her body was damp with perspiration. Nate’s voice soothed her. Eventually, following his lead, her breathing regulated.
“Better?” Nate asked.
Corinne nodded and straightened.
“Easy. Don’t come up too fast.”
She swallowed. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”
“There’s no need to be sorry for your feelings. Not about anything. Not with me. Never with me.”
She could see in his eyes he meant that. He’d seen her at her worst. They were long past the point of embarrassment. Still, she felt embarrassed. She twisted her fingers and lowered her gaze from his.
Nate tipped her chin up so she was once again looking at him then lowered his hand. “Want to tell me what happened in there? Did anyone—”
His eyes and his tone had gone hard. She shook her head quickly to alleviate his worry. “No. It wasn’t anything like that.”
“What happened then?”
She pushed hair that had gone damp with perspiration off her forehead. Her hand trembled, she noticed, saddened at the sight, saddened to the very heart of her at the panic attack she’d experienced just being at The Club. “I thought I was ready for this again. I’m not.”
Nate held her gaze. Gently he said, “What you aren’t ready for is the club scene. But that doesn’t mean you aren’t ready for the lifestyle.”
Corinne continued to look up at him. Was it possible he was right? Had she taken a leap rather than a step in coming here? She felt a flutter of hope, but it was quickly extinguished by fear. “I wish that were true.”
Impatience simmered off Nate though Corinne could see him making an effort to control it. No doubt he wanted to be inside The Club not out here babysitting her. “Nate, just forget about this. Forget you ran into me tonight. I’m fine, really. Don’t let me spoil your evening.”
Nate’s eyes glinted. His jaw firmed. “No, we certainly wouldn’t want you to ruin my night.”
It struck Corinne that he was angry. She flinched at the anger in his tone. “Are you angry with me?”
“At myself.” He blew out a long breath. His tone eased but his words didn’t. “Let’s get something straight here. You are not a burden to me, not a duty or an obligation. Every minute I spend with you is because I want to be with you.”
“You don’t need to say that to make me feel better—”
“I’m not saying it for any other reason than it’s the truth. Listen to me, Corinne. Hear me. I’m going to say this again. Every minute I spend with you is because I want to be with you. It’s long past time I told you that.”
“I appreciate that, Nate. Thank you.”
“How badly that bastard hurt you that you can look at yourself and not see what I’m seeing.” There was rage in Nate’s tone again and anguish.
Corinne shook her head. “I don’t understand.”
“No. I see you don’t. I’m going to rectify that right now.”
The wind picked up and Corinne shivered.
Nate ran a hand back through his hair. “You’re cold. This isn’t the place to have the conversation we’re going to have. Let’s go and get some coffee. I’m parked next to your car.”
Next to her car? Then Nate knew she was here when he entered The Club? The thought registered but before she could ask him about that, he’d led her to his vehicle.
“No need for me to drive over with you,” she said when he opened the passenger door of his truck for her. “I’ll follow then you won’t need to go out of your way to bring me back here to get my car.”
Nate’s gaze sharpened on her for an instant. He looked like he would object but then stopped himself. Just walked her to her compact car. Saw her inside. Waited until she’d locked the doors then returned to his own vehicle.
A coffee shop was a short distance on the same road. Nate found them a corner table away from the noisy and boisterous patrons, laughing and talking loudly around them. “I’ll be right back.”
Corinne watched him join a line at the front of the café. Instrumental music played over the sound system. The lighting was dim and the scents of coffee mingled with chocolate filled the air.
She saw women glancing at Nate with blatant interest. He looked good. He always had. If her life were different, she would have appreciated just how good he looked. Nate was dressed in jeans and a leather jacket left open to show a crisp blue shirt beneath that matched his eyes. His dark hair was a bit longer than its usual military cut, long enough now that a woman could sift her fingers through it. Corinne felt a surge of heat warm her from head to toe. She shook her head at where her thoughts were going but then stopped herself. Having a normal, healthy reaction to a man was what she needed to put the past behind her. If she could. Too bad she wasn’t able to follow through on those thoughts. Maybe she never would be.
The line moved quickly. Nate returned to their table with two tall steaming mugs. He slid one in front of her. She lowered her gaze to her drink so he wouldn’t be able to see the dark turn her thoughts had taken. Nate had an uncanny knack for reading her.
She took a small sip to keep from burning her tongue and to draw out the moment. He wanted to talk with her. About her, was the impression she’d received from him. She was already embarrassed and upset. The last thing she wanted was to go over the night’s events again and she had a feeling that was where
this conversation was headed.
To get his attention off herself and because she was genuinely interested, she asked, “How long before your next deployment?”
If he told her he was shipping out soon, she’d feel even more badly about ruining his evening and his chance to unwind and play at The Club. Deployments, she’d learned, could be six months or longer. She didn’t think he’d have a chance to relax in the places he’d be going.
She hoped Nate would allow her the change in topic and was pathetically grateful when he did.
“No more deployments,” he said. At least not for the SEALs.” Nate took a drink from his own mug then said, “I resigned my commission with the Navy.” He raised an eyebrow. “You look surprised.”
Corinne shrugged. “I guess I am. You look suited to the Navy, the Navy to you. I would have thought you’d never leave before retirement. What are your plans?”
“I’ve already made them. And you’re right being a SEAL does suit me. That’s why I haven’t ventured too far from what I did for Uncle Sam. Me and six other ex- SEALs got together, pooled our resources and started a private security firm.”
Intrigued, Corinne leaned forward. “What do you do?”
“We provide security and protection for celebrities, entertainers, corporations and their corporate executives, to any who need that kind of service.”
Corinne frowned and her insides tightened. “Sounds dangerous.” At his sharp look, she shook her head again but her frown didn’t ease. “Guess no more so than what you were doing as a SEAL.”
Nate reached across the table and engulfed her hand with his much larger one. He brought it to his lips and pressed a kiss to her palm. “I like that you worry about me.”
Before she could do more than register his touch, the feel of his lips against her skin, Nate lowered her hand to the table and released her. Before she could panic, she thought. He touched her from time to time but never more than a quick brush of his fingers. He’d been around her enough to know that since Steven, she’d come to fear a man’s touch. Though she didn’t fear Nate at all in the way she feared men in general, still to her shame, even Nate’s touch unsettled her. Nate who’d never been anything but good to her.
Had her expression given her away? Nate seemed to be studying her now, watching her face for every flicker of movement.
His body tensed and his gaze grew intent on her. “I want to talk about what happened at The Club.”
Her hands tightened on the mug and any warmth she’d been feeling evaporated.
“I knew you were back in Blake,” Nate said. “Your dad let me know that you were coming.”
Corinne couldn’t say it surprised her that her father would tell Nate she was returning to Blake, despite explaining to her dad that she didn’t want to impose on Nate any longer. Her father worried about her and having Nate look in on her and look out for her would give her father some peace of mind.
“I knew you were at The Club tonight,” Nate went on. “I hoped you coming back to Blake signaled a fresh start for you. I thought you may find your way to Lazarus’s place and I asked him to call me if you showed up there. When he called me, I went there specifically to see you.”
She didn’t know what to make of that.
Nate leaned forward, over the table that lay between them. “I was glad you went there. But I had no intention of letting you play or letting you leave there with anyone.” He pinned her with his gaze. “Anyone but me. When you give your submission to a man, I will be that man.”
Chapter Four
Corinne stared at Nate, at a loss for words. She’d known that Nate was a Dominant. If she hadn’t had that confirmed by Steven and Nate himself in the past, she only had to look at Nate to know. To feel her own reaction to him every time she was in his presence. Knowing that, though, she’d never imagined he had any thoughts of becoming her Dom.
He was watching her closely. His eyes drilling into her as if he could see inside her. She felt intimidated, exposed, vulnerable—afraid, God, yes, afraid. Nate was a formidable presence. He would be a formidable Dom, of that she had no doubt. She closed her eyes against the force she could feel emanating from him now that he’d made his abrupt declaration, voiced his intent.
But, along with all that she was feeling, she couldn’t deny a pulsing had begun at her core and her nipples had gone tight.
She opened her eyes to find him still watching her with the same steady regard. Her nerves thrummed and she licked her lips. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”
“Forget for the moment what you think I want you to say, and just tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I’m—blown away. I never expected this. I never thought you saw me as anything other than Steven’s wife.”
His eyes sparked. “I always saw you as a lot more than Steven’s wife. It was the fact that you were his wife that I kept my silence—and my distance.”
She shook her head. “You wanted me—my submission when I was married to Steven?”
“I’ve wanted your submission longer than that, since the moment I met you. I recognized at once what you were and I wanted you. That didn’t change when you married Steven.” Nate’s jaw firmed. “I will regret until I take my last breath that I never acted on my desire for you when you were with Steven. You never said if that night you came to me was the first time Steven had ever hurt you. I suspect it wasn’t.” Nate’s nostrils flared but then his eyes became shadowed, filled with pain. “If I had known what he was doing to you . . .” He shook his head. “But I didn’t. My fault. I deliberately stayed away from you so you wouldn’t see how I felt about you and so I wouldn’t torture myself with what I couldn’t have.” His eyes blazed. “If I’d known, you and I would have had this conversation a long time ago. We can’t undo the past, but we can move forward. You can move forward. With me.”
“You’ve been my rock for so long. How could I have not known any of this?” Caught unawares, off-guard, she felt a surge of panic and spoke the words more to herself.
But Nate reached out and tenderly cupped her chin. Her eyes widened as soon as he touched her. Sorrow filled his eyes for an instant and he lowered his hand.
“I didn’t want you to know,” he said gently. “I explained the reasons why I didn’t want you to know when you were married, and after, you were so hurt. I didn’t want you to have to deal with more. I waited and I would have gone on waiting. I don’t need to wait any longer.
“You’re working your way back, Corinne. Moving back to Blake. Enrolling at the university. Going to The Club tonight. You took those steps. Whether your mind has accepted it yet or not, you’re ready to move on. You were made for the lifestyle. Just looking at you now, I can see you’re wary, apprehensive, but that’s not all you’re feeling. At just the thought of giving your submission, your pupils have dilated, your breathing has picked up. Your skin has gone a beautiful rosy color that has nothing to do with the warm drink.”
Corinne clutched her mug harder on a wave of despair. “The steps I took failed. We learned that tonight. I’m not ready to be anyone’s submissive.”
“Not anyone’s submissive. Mine. You’re ready to be my submissive, Corinne. You got yourself to this point. It’s up to me to take over from here. To get you where you want to be. Where you need to be. All you have to do is say ‘yes’.”
She hadn’t exaggerated when she’d told Nate she was blown away by his declaration earlier. Then and now, he’d thrown her for a loop. She’d never suspected, never thought they could be more than they were. But could they? Could they really?
Nate. She hadn’t ever looked at him as more than her friend. Of course she’d acknowledged he was a handsome man, powerfully built, as any breathing woman would, but when she’d met Nate, she’d been with Steven, in love with Steven. Nate had been Steven’s friend. Then, after Steven, her friend.
But now she took a good hard look at Nate, allowing herself to take in just how hot he was. Broad shouldered. Lean hippe
d. A chest she knew was all muscle from the few times she’d seen him without his shirt. Oh, yes, he was hot.
And he was dominant.
The way he was looking at her now, his eyes hot and hungry, unmasked, as if all he’d kept hidden for so long was now given free rein for her to see. He was looking at her as if he already possessed her, already owned her. It sent a delicious shiver coursing through her but on the heels of that wonderful sensation came fear. She yearned for what Nate was offering. Ached for it. But fear had a choke hold on her.
“I don’t know if I can, Nate.” Her throat was dry, tight. “I don’t know. This has all happened so fast.” She formed the word “no” in her mind but then couldn’t say it. Instead she said, “I need time to think.”
He reached out and tenderly brushed his fingertips across her cheek for an instant, lowering his hand before she could become alarmed. “I’ve waited more than two years. I can wait until you’re sure. I want you to be sure because you’re it for me, Corinne. You. Your submission. There’s no other woman for me. There will never be another woman for me. I want you to be sure, because once I have you, I’ll never let you go.”
Chapter Five
For the last three days since Corinne had left the café, with Nate following her all the way home in his truck, his declaration that he’d wanted her all this time and his offer to be her Dom were all she thought of.
She knew Nate. Nate her friend. She didn’t know him in the capacity of a Dominant. She believed she knew the kind of Dom he’d be. He didn’t act a part. He lived it. His dominance was as natural to him as breathing. While knowing that had the submissive in her aching to fall on her knees before him, the part of her that could still think felt real fear at the thought of putting herself, trusting herself and her well-being to another man and not just any man, one as forceful as Nate.
But being submissive was as natural to her as breathing as well and she couldn’t keep Nate and what he could give her from her thoughts. And so here they were, back at the same café. She’d called Nate to talk.