Mastered 2: Ten Tales of Sensual Surrender

by Opal Carew

  “Fabian?” His voice shot up in surprise. “He has nothing to do with that. The bébé is…was…mine. Not his.”

  “I don’t want my best friend to get hurt any more than she already is.”

  In French, he cussed at me to mind my own business. At least it seemed like a swear word or two. Then he said, “Tell Taddy that je l'aime tellement. Thank you for calling, Blake. See you in a few days. Au revoir.” He hung up.

  As I slipped the phone back in my pocket, I glared at Diego who was shaking his head.

  “What?” I knew I’d just behaved badly.

  “Why did you have to ask him about his boyfriend?” He searched my face for a plausible explanation.

  Hearing his question made my nerves tense immediately. It confirmed that once again, I stuck my nose is something which was absolutely none of my flippin’ business.

  Over the summer, I’d been the one who coaxed Birdie into going to rehab. It had been a risky move, but it’d paid off: she was finally sober and better than ever.

  See…I always tried to do right by people. Sometimes my efforts may not seem like it at the time, but I was looking out for their best interest. I swear it.

  “Because. Well—” With a pang I started to stutter defensively, realizing why I’d treated Leon so poorly. Not just on the phone call, but on Eden, and when we were in Miami. I hadn’t been much of a fan. “How can he be in love with my bestie and still have a boyfriend? It’s not right.”

  Maybe I was envious of his ability to make love to Taddy. There was a part of me deep down inside which had wanted it to work out with Vive when we were in high school. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, but I’m gay and that wouldn’t be fair to her or me. Forget what’s right is right. What’s gay is gay! Period.

  Shit. That sounded horrible. The gay gods were going to strike me with rainbow lightening, force me to wear polyester, and live on the east side of town for the rest of my natural life.

  “You sound judgmental,” he stated, spacing the words out slowly, mixed in with a few Spanish ones I didn’t understand.

  Suddenly, it felt a lot colder outside than mid-forties. I crossed my arms to warm myself. “I don’t mean to be. But I guess I’m conservative.”

  “Are you a Log Cabin Republican?”

  “No. I’m a democrat,” I snapped at his question. Come to think, when I compared myself to my other besties, I was probably the more square one in the group. I was okay with that. I think they were, too. Not all of us can be as liberal as Taddy, experienced as Vive, or have seen as much as Lex.

  “You have a thing against bisexuality?” His voice hardened.

  A heaviness centered in my chest. “No not at all.”

  “What about polyamorous lifestyles?”

  “Maybe. I don’t really even know what that word is…”

  “It means having more than one open romantic relationship at a time.”

  “Oh. That. Yes, Taddy and Leon have that.” I tried to make eye contact with him but couldn’t. Hell, I could barely face myself right then, let alone a Latin god like Diego Oala, so I defended, “Regardless of his sexual orientation, I’m very protective of Taddy and don’t want to see her get hurt.”

  “Sí, but the dude lives in France. Taddy is in New York. Let it play out.”

  “Are you always this cavalier about everything?” I was getting annoyed.

  Mouth quirking with humor, his white teeth contrasted nicely with his dark skin as he asked, “Not usually. Not when it comes to love.”

  Upon hearing his reply my heart melted a bit. I gave him a swooning look. I probably appeared like a dork, but I didn’t care.

  His arms came wide as he pulled me into him. Our lips touched. He gave me a little bit of tongue. I liked it. I was starting to like the man more and more.

  “I can’t believe Taddy was pregnant,” I muttered in his ear as he hugged me close. We stood almost shoulder to shoulder. However, his body was a mile wide, twice the width of my own. All that muscle. It felt good to be in his arms. For a second, my mind wandered off into an erotic paradise and I imagined what it would be like to have myself buried deep inside him, splitting his massive width from east to west, hearing him moan, “Fuck me, Blake, now.”

  All of those naughty thoughts came to a screeching halt as he declared in an assessing tone, “Taddy is better off that she lost the baby.”

  What?

  Unsure if I heard him correctly, I pulled back and asked, “How can you say that?”

  “She’s a teenager who can barely afford to go to college, let alone take care of a kid.” His jaw thrust forward.

  Quickly, I waved away his opinionated words with my gloved hands, pointed a finger at his broad chest, and gave him a hard poke. “Taddy’s been modeling and has money coming in. She’s going to be famous. You’ll see. She would’ve been a great mother. We all would’ve helped her raise the baby while she finished school. We’re a family.”

  “And what about the father?” Black hair gleaming in the street lights, he shook his head and stated. “She’s better off…”

  “Meaning?” I asked as we turned to face the hospital and head back.

  “I don’t think dudes like Leon should have babies.” He locked his arm with mine.

  “Oh, now it’s you who sounds judgmental.” I heard my own voice go up in surprise as our legs took on a matching stride. “So…Taddy can date a bisexual…just not have a baby with one. Is that what you’re saying?”

  “Do you think we’re born gay?”

  “Eh?” I had no idea why he asked me this or if he was baiting me for something, but the suggestion sorta irritated the crap out of me and yet intrigued all the same.

  “Yes. It’s in our DNA, our genes. Its nature not nurture,” I voiced firmly.

  “Sí, so if you carry the gay or bisexual gene, don’t you think the chances of you having a gay or bisexual child are more probable?”

  Oh. Good. Lord!

  I glared at him as if he was nuts. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. For starters, who cares if the child is gay or straight? It doesn’t matter. Secondly, no, I don’t think you can pass the gay gene on like that. My parents aren’t gay.”

  “You sure about that?”

  “Yes, don’t be stupid.” I punched him in the arm.

  My dad was a straight arrow soaring right for my mother’s heart. I’d lost count on the number of times I’d walked in on them having sex.

  Over the years, it had been on the bed, on the floor, in the shower, and let’s not forget the frickin’ garage. And then there was the time we’d all gone to Sweden with Vive’s family, right before our senior year, where I’d caught my parents doing it at Millesgården.

  There I was, standing next to Mr. and Mrs. Farnworth, the richest people in the world, learning about Vive’s ancestors, and lo and behold Dad is sticking it to Mom on a park bench at sunset, right under the Pegasus sculpture.

  Can you believe them? I’d wanted to die. Just die! They’d thought we’d all gone back to the gallery and no one was looking. They’d said they’d got caught up in the moment of being one with nature and were feeling all European and just had to do it.

  “What about your aunts and uncles? Someone in your family has to be a homo in order for you to be one.” His voice carried a unique force as if he spoke from experience, but that was the biggest crock of dog shit I’d ever heard.

  “Was your dad gay?” I asked, turning the subject back on him.

  “No. But my Uncle Juan was.”

  “How do you know? Did he tell you he was gay?”

  A muscle flickered angrily at his jaw. He laughed hoarsely and bitterly. Almost sarcastic. Certainly fake. And said, “Let’s change the subject.”

  “You’re the one who opened up this shit can, mister. Not me. So…tell me.”

  “Uncle Juan was my father’s brother. He was very close to my parents and would often watch me when they’d go out of town for work.” He stopped in mids
tride, turned and confessed, “From the time I was nine till I was about eleven, he molested me. Sí, that’s how I know he liked boys.”

  Stunned and speechless, I stared at him in shock.

  Chapter Five

  The Secrets That Bind

  Franklin D. Roosevelt East River Drive

  Outside was eerily quiet.

  The westbound traffic coming from the Queensboro Bridge created a white noise in the distance. We were across the street from the entrance to the Manhattan General emergency room. No ambulances or staff smoking their cigarettes like one would expect. Only Diego’s admission to his unfortunate childhood hung in the cold air as a dark storm cloud above us.

  Glaring at him, I studied his massive exterior. Diego seemed strong, self-confident, unaffected, and yet the most horrific thing that could happen to anyone in the world had happened to him.

  He was so matter-of-fact. I’d never met a molestation victim before. If I was at a loss for words with Leon a few minutes before, then I was most certainly at one with Diego’s confession.

  I didn’t know what to say or do, so I slid my hands deep into my coat pockets and replied, “I’m sorry to hear that, Diego. It must’ve been a nightmare for you. Did you ever tell anyone?”

  “Only my parents.”

  “Why did you reveal this to me?” My voice broke in surprise.

  “Cause…I like you, Blake. I have since the first day we met. I’m comfortable around you. And after spending more time with you today…I feel like I’ve known you my entire life.”

  Upon hearing that, a warming sensation ran through my body. “Me, too.”

  “And I’m not at home anymore. I’m at college. My uncle can’t hurt me. I’m not a boy anymore, either. I’m a man and I’m strong.

  He certainly was a strong man. It all made sense why he lifted so much weight at the gym. He probably had to defend himself as a kid.

  “You can talk to me anytime you want to.”

  “Gracias. Are you the friend in the group everyone tells their darkest secrets to?”

  I nodded in confirmation. That was as true as the Earth was round. The girls always shared their greatest victories and worst nightmares with me.

  At times it had been overwhelming, especially with their mood swings and PMS, but in the long run it had bonded me to them like glue. “Have you ever asked your uncle why he did what he did?”

  “Can the evil in this world ever explain their actions?”

  I shook my head and replied, “I guess not.”

  “Years later, when I figured out I was gay and told my papá about what my uncle had done to me, he confronted him. My uncle denied it ever happened. Called me a liar. Told me not to blame him for my sexual orientation.”

  I let out the air which was caught in my throat. “Did you blame him for being gay?”

  “I don’t know. Pedophilia and homosexuality aren’t related.”

  “No, they are not. Just because one molests a child of the same sex does not mean he is a homosexual. He’s just a sick bastard.” I hesitated for a minute before adding, “Before the fall semester, I took a few summer classes to get my feet wet. Anyways…one of them was Intro to Psychology. We had a guest speaker one day on the minds of predators.”

  “What did the expert say?”

  “That even when we’re little boys, there’s an innate goodness to us. And those who prey on children take advantage of their vulnerability.”

  “That’s an interesting way to look at it...”

  “That’s the only way to look at it.”

  I reached for his hand and we sat on the curb for a second. The tail of my coat prevented my backside from touching the cement. A chill ran up my spine, but I managed. I couldn’t let this go. It scared me and fascinated me all the same. So I asked, “Does your mom know about your uncle?”

  He put his arm on my leg in a possessive gesture and said, “When I got older, I told her, only because I thought I had brought it on myself.” He paused for a minute, chewed his lower lip then said, “She smacked me across the face. Called me a liar just like my papá. We didn’t talk for a week. When you’re a kid that feels like a year.” His voice was distant, as if talking about something that had happened to someone else and not himself. Maybe that was how he was able to survive. I couldn’t imagine what coping skills one would use to move forward.

  Hearing that made my heart break for Diego.

  “Sounds like you had a rough childhood…”

  “That’s an understatement.” He rose in one fluid motion. “We should head back to the waiting room. It’s getting cold.”

  “Yeah. Taddy will be released soon,” I said, feeling hopeful.

  When the doctor told us my BFF wasn’t going to be released until the morning, Diego took a cab back to the dorms and I along with Birdie, Lex and Vive waited. We couldn’t think of leaving her there alone.

  * * *

  Taddy came home with us the following morning.

  Birdie put us all in her stretch limo and took us from First Avenue up to the Sherry Netherland where Taddy roomed with Vive and Hedda.

  To celebrate Vive getting accepted into Columbia University, the Farnworth’s had purchased her a penthouse earlier that year. The sticker-price on the Fifth Avenue, full-floor, 7,000 square feet home was around one hundred million dollars.

  I know!

  With south-facing views of the Plaza Hotel and the Empire State Building, Mr. Farnworth had declared it a bargain. Coming from a classic colonial-style home in Fairfield, it was, in my opinion, over-the-frickin’-top-fabulous.

  We ordered omelets from Taddy’s favorite restaurant Daniel’s. Lex closed the heavy damask drapes while Vive turned down the lights in the bedroom and lit candles.

  After we ate, I crawled up next to Taddy in the queen-size bed. I pulled the ivory sheets up to her chin. They felt soft in my hands. Hedda was spread out on a nearby pillow.

  “Thanks,” she murmured. Her bright red nose appeared sensitive from blowing it so much.

  “I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am and that I love you. You’re like a sister to me. If ever I were to lose you…I couldn’t go on.”

  “Ditto.” She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “Thank you for being there, Blake.”

  “That’s my job in life, to be there for you.” Laying there for a minute, listening to her breathing, she smelled of tuberose. It reminded me of happier times. “Do you want me to call your parents?”

  She rolled her jade green eyes. “They won’t care. You know that. Birdie talked to my aunt. You talked to Leon. There’s no one else to tell. He’s coming, isn’t he?”

  I nodded. “Should be here in a day or so.” I leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. “I should get going.”

  “Tell Thor to take notes for me in our World Culture class,” she ordered as if getting some of her energy back. “I’ll return to class at the end of the week.”

  “Of course. And I’ll have my notes for you from our marketing class. Vive can give you her worksheets from Calculus.” I gave Hedda a love pat on the head.

  She giggled. “I don’t want Vive’s notes. You know how she is in school.”

  Vive balked from the other bedroom down the hall. “Hello! I can hear you two. I’ll have you know I’m very good at math. It’s Lex who can’t add or subtract her way out of a candy store.”

  We all laughed in a full-hearted sound. Hedda sat up and barked. It felt good. For a minute, I was worried I’d never hear that again.

  After saying my goodbyes, I walked from Fifth Avenue through Central Park up to the campus on the Upper West Side. The commute took about forty minutes. The morning sun shone from the east, creating a bright light over the ground of the previous week’s snowfall which had yet to melt.

  I needed to decompress and think. So much had happened in the last two days. We’d gotten sick. Taddy had miscarried. Then Diego had told me about his uncle. My stomach was in knots.

  With only ten blocks
to go, just as my feet hit Broadway, my cell rang. The screen lit up: MOM.

  “Hi,” I answered, walking briskly. The cold was staring to get to me.

  “Son, I’m so glad you picked up,” she said as in a panicked tone.

  “Good morning,” I greeted again, trying my best to keep a calm voice.

  “Where are you?”

  “Walking, outside.”

  “Uh-huh…Blake Morgan the third. Cut the crap.”

  “What?” Oh, God, please tell me she doesn’t have a clue as to what went down. If she found out about Glamorama, I’m dead.

  “In the last twenty-four hours, Thor has called our house twice looking for you. He sounds frantic, which has made me upset. That of course has caused your father to be…on edge.”

  “Oh my…”

  “Are you okay, boy?”

  “Sorry, Mom. I’m fine. I was studying. We have mid-terms. I lost track of time and pulled an all-nighter at Vive’s.” Usually I never lied to my mother, but why make her worry?

  “You don’t sound fine. I can tell there’s somethin’ the matter. Talk to me, boy.”

  “Nothing…is the matter, Mom. I’m just stressed.” That was the truth.

  “You’ll be coming home in a few weeks for Christmas. You can unwind then...”

  “I’m looking forward to it.”

  “Is Taddy still coming with you?” She seemed to calm down as we continued to talk.

  “Yes, where else would she go?” I replied, thinking about how the weeks’ nightmare would soon be behind us.

  Taddy usually spent Christmas or Thanksgiving with me, Easter with Lex and Birdie, and the summer holidays with Vive’s parents. I couldn’t imagine the winter holidays without my Brill girl.

  “I can’t wait to see you two. Your father is looking forward to Christmas this year, too. He’s convinced that we’re going to win the city’s holiday light show.”

  “He’s still putting the decorations up this year?”

  Since I was in college, I’d thought he would’ve scaled back. With over 75,000 lights adorning the property, residents had driven from all over the state, as far away as Norwich to see my father’s creation. Think the Griswolds meets Martha Stewart. That was the Morgans house during the holidays. Dad was a very proud man.