“He is one tough little dude, isn’t he?” Dad said as Charlie opened his eyes.
“Well, it keeps me original,” he coughed out.
Sure, since he wouldn’t know me, the bear hug I gave him might have seemed creepy, but I didn’t care. He was okay. I didn’t murder my best friend. Er, former best friend.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” I said, letting go of him.
Charlie sat up and scratched his head. “It’s okay. I got your message and decided not to hate you anymore.” He straightened his dance bow tie. “Look at this mess, Veri!”
My eyes welled up. “You know who I am?”
“Yeah?” He lifted one eyebrow at me, then looked at my dad. “So, you know everything now?”
Dad nodded. “I think so. Turns out she got her powers from me. Surprise.”
Charlie beamed. “That’s the coolest thing ever! You guys need to fight crime or something. How cool is that?”
“You know who I am!” I couldn’t get over it. I bounced up and down.
Charlie stared at me. “Wait. Do other people not know who you are?”
“Yeah, that’s a side effect this time, I guess.”
“Then everything is back to normal! No one knows who you are! Yay!” He gleefully danced around.
I couldn’t help but laugh. As usual, he was right. For the first time in a long time, I was happy to be a nobody. In fact, I would take Weirdest forever if it meant I had my dad and my one true friend. I was so happy that a small burst of rainbows flew from my arms as I waved them around. Luckily, by that time, all the students were busy with the emergency-service crews that were giving them clean bills of health, so no one noticed.
“Well, if it isn’t the old career killer,” Ms. Watson said as she walked over and laid eyes on Dad.
“Conspiracy nut,” Dad growled at her.
“Yeah, obviously.” She pointed at the destruction all around us. “Am I wrong?”
“Good point,” Dad conceded.
“Where’s my mom?” I asked her.
“I sent her home, with a very stern warning,” Ms. Watson said.
“But what if she tells people about my powers?”
Ms. Watson snorted. “Who’s gonna believe her? I had a badge, and for fifteen years no one ever believed me.”
“We don’t have to worry about you?” Dad asked.
She thought for a minute. “Listen,” she said. “I’ll make a deal with you. I want to stay a guidance counselor, and I’m sure you want to stay off the radar. Let’s agree to keep this mystery unsolved. Indefinitely.”
“Why?” I asked.
Ms. Watson sighed like I was asking her deepest, darkest secret. “Okay. Honestly, those paper pushers never appreciated me or my passion for fairness. These kids do. All they want is to be treated fairly, and I respect that. I’m staying here.”
Without blowing her cover, Ms. Watson was still able to take over the situation (which had now been classified as a mild natural disaster) and keep the cops, reporters, and screaming PTA moms at bay. Once the last siren whooped away, it was actually quite peaceful in the hollowed-out shell of the gym.
“I’ll see you two in my office on Monday morning,” Ms. Watson said, pointing at Charlie and me as she climbed into her black SUV.
“Hey, I still have a few questions for you, lady,” Dad said.
“As I do for you, Mr. McGowan.”
“It’s Rik. Do you have a first name or is that classified?”
“Get in the car, meathead, and we’ll discuss over pie.” She rolled her eyes before shutting the door.
“You okay, kiddo?” Dad asked me. “Wanna go home?”
I shook my head. “Not yet.”
“You’ll walk her home, Charlieman?”
“Yeah, of course, but I think you’ve got it backward—I need her protection,” Charlie said. “It’s late! There could be all sorts of weirdos out there. I want to be with the biggest one.”
“Damn straight,” Dad said proudly as he gave me a hug.
He and Ms. Watson took off with a merry little honk good-bye. I was pretty sure the horn played “La Cucaracha.” What a freaking bizarro night.
“Well, that was all a bit surreal,” I said. “And you know what the most mind-blowing thing is?”
“What?” Charlie asked.
“I think Ted was right. Like, he was trying to tell me about all of this.”
“Strange days,” Charlie agreed.
I took a big sip from a bottle of water one of the EMTs left. I had one more important thing I needed to say. “I’m sorry, Charlie. For everything, but mostly for being so dumb. You’re my best friend. The only friend that really matters.”
“It’s cool,” he started. “Well, it was horrible, but it’s cool. I could’ve handled things with a bit more class.”
We sat for another minute in silence, and it felt really good. It seemed like it had been forever since I had just sat and wasn’t scared or nervous. “I’m glad I don’t have to hide anymore. Well, not from my dad, at least.”
“Wait!” Charlie said. “Speaking of hiding—did you see Betsy? She wasn’t at the dance! Your powers wouldn’t have hit her. She’ll remember everything!”
I laughed in sheer amazement. “Oddly enough, Betsy is the one person I’m not worried about.”
Charlie frowned, then shrugged, looking convinced. Then he grandly bowed and offered me his hand. “We could dance.”
“But there isn’t any music.”
“I know.” Charlie took my hand. “And we are in a destroyed gymnasium and you have superpowers. I think we can wing it.”
“True,” I said.
We started to sway.
“Besides,” Charlie added, “this is the Spring Formal, and I want to dance with an Est.”
Even though my initial reaction was to pinch Charlie hard for that comment, he was right. I was an Est. I was Weirdest.
Maybe that wasn’t what I’d wanted, but it is what I am. And I was starting to believe that wasn’t so bad after all.
Weird is wonderful.
Acknowledgments
Endless thanks to …
Tom and Dolly Nuhfer for their unflinching support of my weird job.
Paul Morrissey, who always helps, even when I don’t deserve it.
Publishing genius (and fashion icon) Erin Stein for making it all happen.
Bernadette Baker-Baughman, who keeps me sane and safe through the ups and downs.
John Morgan and the entire Imprint crew for their excitement and hard work.
The brilliant and incomparable Katie Strickland, who should always be thanked.
PRAISE FOR MY SO-CALLED SUPERPOWERS
“My So-Called Superpowers is vibrant, lively, and hums along at a snappy pace. It has a genuinely warm, welcoming Saturday-morning cartoon feeling to it.”
—Tony Cliff, New York Times–bestselling author of the Delilah Dirk series
“Heather Nuhfer has hilariously and achingly captured what it’s like to be in middle school, trying to control the weird things that make you different but also super. And it’s impossible not to root for Veronica. Super real, super fun, and just generally and genuinely super.”
—Dana Simpson, author of the Phoebe and Her Unicorn series
“My So-Called Superpowers is a super-engaging read with plenty of action, mystery, humor, and heart. Readers will love Veronica and her adventures!”
—Terri Libenson, author of Invisible Emmie and Positively Izzy
“All Veronica wants is to be special—to be noticed—but she gets much more than she bargained for. Readers will empathize with Veronica’s quest, and fall in love with this fun, heartwarming story about learning to embrace your individual quirks and the power of friendship.”
—Rysa Walker, author of the bestselling CHRONOS Files series and the Delphi Trilogy
About the Author
Heather Nuhfer was born near the Allegheny Mountains in Pennsylvania, where, from the safety of h
er bedroom, she wrote stories featuring her own monsters.
While working at the Jim Henson Company, Heather finally met many creatures face-to-face, including the lovable characters of Fraggle Rock. Heather scripted the lead story in Henson’s Harvey Award–nominated Fraggle Rock graphic novel series, and she is the author of several My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic graphic novels. She’s also penned stories for Wonder Woman, Teen Titans Go!, The Simpsons, Scooby Doo, and Monster High, and her episodes of Hasbro’s Littlest Pet Shop are set to air in 2018. My So-Called Superpowers is her first novel.
When she isn’t writing, Heather loves to knit while watching bad 1990s action movies with her fur-baby, Einstein. You can sign up for email updates here.
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Contents
Title Page
Copyright Notice
Dedication
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Acknowledgments
Praise for My So-Called Superpowers
About the Author
Copyright
Text copyright © 2018 by Heather Nuhfer. Illustrations copyright © 2018 by Simini Blocker.
A part of Macmillan Children’s Publishing Group, LLC
175 Fifth Avenue, New York, NY 10010
mackids.com
All rights reserved.
Steal this book if you must,
but you’ll get a superpower that is a bust—
slimy, sticky fingers that grab everything in sight,
or hands that detach from your arms to take flight.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.
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Imprint logo designed by Amanda Spielman
First hardcover edition 2018
eBook edition January 2018
eISBN 9781250138637
My So-Called Superpowers Page 14