“Gaige Addams, you’re a damn fine man.” She rakes me over with her eyes. When our gazes meet again, she winks. “In every way.”
My laugh is instant and strong, a bellyaching sort of laugh. “Hudson has his hands full with you for sure.”
“He’s a fortunate man.” She doesn’t even bat an eyelash when she says this.
“That he is,” I agree.
She gets in her car, cranking the engine. Rolling down the window one last time, she pokes her head out.
“I don’t know what happened in your past—that’s your story—but I do know that whatever it is, it’s shaped you into a great person, Gaige. Your smartass words and your wise ones have bigger impacts than you think.”
I don’t have time to respond; she’s already backing out of her parking space, turning her radio up full blast, and flying out of the lot.
I stare after her car, wondering how I got sucked into a life where someone tells me my words matter, because they don’t. If she knew the type of shit I’ve done in my life, the kind of person I used to be, she wouldn’t say that.
After all, the opinion of a criminal means nothing.
I wait until I can’t see her taillights anymore, then spin around and make my way back to Haley’s door.
My breathing is erratic—and not from taking the stairs two at a time. No, it’s from the mere thought of facing Haley right now. Will she be angry? Sad? Hurt? Is she even going to open the door?
Once I reach her apartment, I lean my head against the wood separating me from her. My breath picks up instantly, my heart beating faster and faster. It’s like I can feel her on the other side, can feel her emotions all jumbled together like someone shook a puzzle out on the floor and said to have at it with the pieces.
I’m the puzzle-maker. She’s the jagged pieces.
Pressing my luck, I turn the knob. To my surprise, it twists with ease. She’s letting me in.
I cautiously make my way inside, checking every square inch of the living room I’ve stepped into. It’s empty. Pausing, I slow my breathing and listen for a hint of where she may be. I can hear the shower running. Worry rises at the thought of her not locking up after herself. I know the type of hoodlums that run amuck out there—after all, I was one—and I don’t want anyone like them near her. Then I think maybe she knew I’d come back and left it unlocked for me.
Yeah. That sounds right. Still, I should have a talk with her about it.
And I should also stop being a scared little boy and just walk farther into the apartment and face her. Man up, Gaige. You can do it.
I venture into her home a bit more, noting the food on the counter. I shake my head and grin. If you know Haley, then you know she’s a bit of an emotional eater, only it’s opposite than the normal. Her eating a lot is what tells me she’s in a happy mood, that she’s lit up with laughter and life like she typically is. Then there are days when a dark storm rumbles in and takes hold of her. She’s quiet, reserved, and her light is dimmed drastically. If the half-eaten salad is any indication, the storm has taken hold today, which doesn’t surprise me considering all the drama with Rae.
It’s weird, this little quirk of hers. I didn’t take me long to notice her telling habit either. The first few nights we spent together were drowned in laughter, munching away on sweets and junk foods. Then on nights that were blanketed in silent and serious moments, I noticed she didn’t eat junk, or anything, really. I was a bit thrown at first, thinking maybe she’d just had one too many Kit Kats and needed a break. Then during one random happy day we had, just like before, it was back to chocolates galore. That’s when it all clicked for me, and I’ve learned to gauge her moods simply off the foods she eats.
Today’s mood? Conflicted. The grocery bag on the counter is a medley of healthier foods and junk.
I make my way to the kitchen and casually sort through the contents of the bag.
“It’s rude to go through someone’s shit.”
“It’s stupid to leave your door unlocked so someone can go through your shit.”
Looking up, I see a wet Haley wrapped in nothing but an oversized pink towel. Her eyes are dancing with amusement layered with anger. That’s a new one.
My eyes sweep down her curvaceous body. Oversized towel or not, I can see everything, can practically feel how her skin plays like silk beneath my fingertips. My hands twitch. The urge to cross the living room and grab on to her is strong. I want to take hold of her, lead her back to her bedroom, strip the towel from her body, and spend a few hours rolling around naked.
“You just let yourself in?”
I bring my eyes back to her face, trying to suppress the images of us naked and sprawled across her bed that are currently swirling around in my head. I have no idea what’s up with me today. I can’t seem to will any thoughts of naked Haley from my mind for more than a few minutes at time. “Well technically, by not locking the door, you let me in.”
A brow rises, but no argument is put up.
“You called.”
She nods shyly, wringing her hands together in front of her.
“What’s going on, Haley? Why after six long-ass months of silence do you call me? Me?”
“Rae’s moving out.”
“I know.”
“It’s my fault.”
“I know,” I tell her.
Her features fall. It’s hurtful, I know, but it’s also the truth. Haley lied to Rae her entire life, let her believe something traumatic didn’t happen, that it was all just a nightmare, only it wasn’t a nightmare; it was reality.
The nightmare? Their mom tried to drown Rae when she was a kid before committing suicide.
The reality? It wasn’t a dream.
Up until recently she thought the drowning was just a horrible dream and completely blocked that day from her mind, sometimes having a nightmare that mirrored what had actually happened. Haley, and their father, let Rae believe it was fake.
While it’s partially okay because it kept a bad memory of their mom locked away, Rae spent too many years furious with her mother for taking her own life and never knowing just how sick she was because it was kept from her. That’s the part that hurts Rae the most.
Now all the anger that was once directed at her mother has seeped its way into her relationship with Haley. I get it, can see where Rae is coming from. To be lied to by your family for all that time has to hurt. I can’t blame her for being upset.
Haley was wrong, and she knows it.
“Today was hard, and I wanted someone here with me.”
“So you called me? After you shut me out?”
“You make me feel the best, Gaige.”
Her words hit me hard, because I can feel the desperation in them. She wants to feel better, to feel normal again. I want that too, and I know the way to get that back is through Haley. She’s the only one who’s ever given me that.
“Can we pretend? Just for the tonight?”
“Pretend?”
“That it’s just like it used to be.”
I sigh. “If that’s what you want.”
Her eyes dart off to the side, and I know in my gut she’s about to lie, that no matter how much she thinks she believes what she’s saying, it’s false. “It is.”
“Fine. We’ll pretend. Go get dressed, and we’ll go grab something to eat like normal people who haven’t spent the last six months in some sort of friendship purgatory. You don’t have anything here that won’t take forever to make other than chocolate, chips, and frozen pizzas, and I’m starving.”
She doesn’t move, just stands there staring at me like she’s waiting for me to do or say something else. It reminds me of waiting for the microwave to finish popping the popcorn. You’re standing there, watching and counting the seconds between the last few pops, hoping to press the stop button before you burn your snack. It’s almost as if it’s a game, getting to the button in time.
Only I’m not sure I’m winning right now.
“Are…�
�� She pauses, her eyes darting to the side, chest heaving as she sucks in air. Her gaze is filled with tears when she glances back at me again. I start to take a step toward her but second-guess myself. I can’t keep running to her at the sight of her tears. I’ve never been that man before and I won’t be him now. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
At my answer, she abruptly spins and heads back to her bedroom.
I release the tension rolling through my body and drop my elbows to the countertop, my head falling into my hands. I groan, pulling at my hair and scrubbing my head hard. Fuck. She’s so annoying, irritating, frustrating…ly sexy. And beautiful. Smart, charismatic, engaging. Shit! I can’t even be properly annoyed with her right now.
Even more so, I’m annoyed with myself. This entire thing started as nothing but a friendship, a genuine, quiet, peaceful friendship. Every moment together now feels like a test, a challenge I’m not up to.
Drowning. It’s as if I’m being pulled under by heavy currents, dragged through the bottom of a rocky ocean, and hitting everything in my path.
If Haley wants us to feign normalcy for one night, I’ll do it. I’ll do it because as angry as I was with her, once I set my eyes upon her, I wasn’t even mad anymore. I do still want to know why she dropped me from her life, but I want to rediscover that feeling she gives me more. Besides, we’re friends first, and I promised her I’d always be there. I learned long ago not to take back promises anymore, and I have zero intentions of doing so.
For her, I’ll pretend.
Hell, I’ll do anything for her.
“Where are we going?” Her voice startles me, but I resist the urge to jump, not wanting her to know just how far away I was.
“Out,” I say, meeting her stare, loving how she’s planted her hand on her hip. She’s sassy tonight. I can deal with sassy. I can’t deal with sad and quiet for another night.
Maybe pretending is a good thing.
“That much is obvious.” She adjusts her stance, her arms now crossed over her chest. I’m half expecting her to start tapping her foot like an impatient parent.
“We’re going…” I wrack my brain for a real answer. I have no idea what we’re going to do. First, I want to grab food because I truly am starving, and I’m certain she hasn’t had much to eat today either. Then I want to do something…different. Maybe something she’s never done before. Maybe something I’ve never done before.
Then it hits me. I know exactly what we’re going to do.
“We’re getting food. The rest is a surprise.”
It’s miniscule, but her eyes brighten at my words. I swear, everything inside me lights right the fuck up. My body heats with warmth, my toes tingle, and I long to touch her.
Me. Longing. I don’t fucking long. Ever.
We have a problem.
“A surprise?” she says, her voice happier than it was a few seconds ago.
“Yep.” I nod. “You ready to roll?”
She glances down at her outfit: simple skinny jeans and a dark gray V-neck complete with another pair of TOMS. I can’t tell for certain from here, but I believe there’s another sort of animal on them. “Am I dressed okay?”
“You look breathtaking.” I say it not only because I mean it, but because it’s what I would say if things weren’t so distant between us right now.
Giving me a small, disbelieving smile, she rolls her eyes. “Whatever. Let’s go. Where are we eating?”
“I don’t know. Where do you want to eat?”
She shrugs. “I don’t care. Where do you want to eat?”
I groan as I open the door for her, giving her a side-eye glance as she passes me. “We’re not playing that game.”
“What game?”
“That game. The one where we spend twenty minutes saying ‘I don’t care’ or ‘where do you want to eat’. It’s exhausting.”
“But I don’t care,” she argues.
“Liar,” I say instantly, ushering her from the building and directing her toward my car. “Come on. I’ll drive.”
We end up going to Vern’s. I had a split second of worry that Hudson and Rae or even Tucker might come barging into the restaurant at any moment and demand to know what I was doing with Haley. Then I figured, fuck it. I’m a grown ass adult and can have dinner with whomever I please. So, we went, and it was good.
“Where in the hell are you taking me?”
I glance over to the passenger seat where she’s sitting as close to the edge of her seat as the seatbelt will allow. She’s staring out the front window, her eyebrows scrunched in concentration.
“Nowhere you’ve been before.”
She turns to me. “Oh yeah? And how do you know?”
I shrug. “I just do. I can read people.”
“Are we headed downtown?”
“Yep.”
She huffs indignantly. “I’ve been downtown before, rude ass.”
“But have you been to my downtown?”
“Probably.”
“I doubt it.”
Haley gives another puff, grumbling something incoherent to herself. Smiling, I concentrate on the road, and do my best to keep my emotions in check.
I’m edgy as fuck right now. I’ve never taken anyone to my spot before.
Wait. Shit. That’s a lie. I’ve taken Tucker. He’s been here plenty before, but that’s different. Tucker isn’t a girl, and he’s definitely not a girl who makes my heart race, my fucking palms itch with the urge to touch, and my moods shift on a dime.
Nope, Tuck isn’t just a dick, he’s got a dick, and I’m not into that.
As we move closer and closer to our destination, my nerves jump and fizzle. What if she hates it? What if it disgusts her? It’s so far from her scene she demands to leave instantly? What if…I’m not good enough? Shit. This was a horrible idea. The thought of her hating a huge part of what makes me who I am sends my brain into overdrive, images of her frowning at what I place in front of her fill my mind. She’s going to hate it, and I’m going to puke.
My left leg starts jiggling up and down, the anticipation killing me as we turn down the street we’re destined for. Miraculously, I find a place to park relatively quickly. I turn toward Haley, watching as she glances around, trying to figure out where exactly it is we’re headed.
“Hales,” I say quietly. Her gaze finds mine. Using her nickname catches her full attention. “If anything at all makes you feel uncomfortable, just tell me. We’ll leave immediately. Sometimes this place can be rough, but no one is going to bother you. I promise.”
Her eyes widen for a brief moment. “Based on the words you just spoke, I feel like I’m supposed to be afraid, but with you, I’m not. I trust you, Gaige. That’s not going to change.”
Suddenly, all my nerves settle. We’ll be okay. This will be okay.
I nod and exit the car, jogging over to her side. Grabbing her hand, I lead her from the vehicle, steering her down the street about half a block. She’s too busy taking in the sights around us to ask questions. When we stop in front of the shop, I take a deep breath and glance down at her. She’s confused. Very confused.
“This is where we’re going?”
I nod.
“Why?”
“Because this a huge part of who I am.”
“I’ve seen you practically naked. Nothing indicates this.”
Shrugging, I say, “Just because you own a daycare doesn’t mean you have children. We can be passionate about something and not have anything in our lives directly related to it.”
Her lips purse together, eyes hard, nod stiff. “Fair enough.” She waves toward the door. “Show me your world, Gaige.” I reach out to grab the handle, pushing open the door as she teasingly says, “And rock mine.”
I can’t suppress the full-body chuckle that rumbles through me.
She’s damn good at pretending.
“Holy shit,” my extremely part-time coworker calls. “Who the hell is this vixen who got Gaige fucking Addams to no
t only smile but laugh? Because I call dibs!”
“Bullshit,” I growl, scowling at Farrell.
His bright blue eyes go wide then a boisterous laugh erupts out of him. “Well, I’ll be fucking damned. You must be some kind of special if you’re making Gaige become an overprotective assclown.”
I stare him down, his smile never leaving his face. He’s walking on thin ice and we just arrived.
“Go work or something, Farrell.”
“Can’t.” He claps his hands excitedly. “I don’t have any appointments for another thirty minutes.”
“Then go clean,” I urge.
He shakes his head; his perfectly coiffed midnight black hair doesn’t move an inch—too much hairspray or some shit. “Nah. It’s done already. This place is immaculate.”
I raise a brow. “Where’s everyone else?”
“Davies rolled out for some coffee, should be back any minute, and Romeo is back with a client. Nipples, man.” He rubs his hands together as he rolls his tongue over his lips. “I fucking love nipples.” Then he winks at Haley.
Sighing, I turn to her, expecting her eyes to be bugging halfway out of her head at this point. Instead, I find her trying to hide a smile. An urge to punch Farrell sings through me because I want to be the only person to make Haley smile.
Me. I want all her smiles to belong to me.
I manage to squelch the impulse, rubbing the back of my neck to relieve some building tension. “Haley, this is Farrell. Dipshit, this is my…” I glance to her, unsure how to introduce her.
She walks forward, sticking her hand out to the bastard behind the front counter of Everlasting Ink. “Best friend. Haley. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Farrell.”
A smug, sexual grin lines Farrell’s lips. “Oh darling, there’s no ‘mister’ needed. Farrell is my first name, but if that’s what you want to call me, I’ll happily answer to it.”
“Go away, Farrell,” I growl, again.
“Can’t, man. I’m in love with your best friend.”
I take an unconscious step toward him, then Haley’s laugh freezes me. I watch as she leans her head back. Fuck me. It’s been way too long since I’ve heard her laugh like that, and I realize I’ve missed it more than I’d miss my next breath. It’s infectious, burrowing its way into my head, my heart. I stand there in a daze as it fills my body with an incomparable warmth.
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