“I’m sixteen, Mum, the same age as the lazy slob asleep at home. In a context that you’d understand, I’m a Potential Friday. I started with the Junior Time Scouts at thirteen and popped my first tube at fifteen—the youngest ever to do so. The Friday you know is the Friday Present. The older me that will hopefully be the director-general is the Friday Last, and because he’s indisposed due to a mild temporal ambiguity caused by the younger alternative me not joining the Time Scouts, Bendix reconstituted me from the echoes of the might-have-been. They asked me to see what I can do.”
“Nope,” I replied in some confusion, “didn’t understand a word.”
“It’s a split-timeline thing, Mum,” explained Friday, “in which two versions of the same person can exist at the same time.”
“So can’t you become the director-general at the other end of time?”
“Not that easy. The alternative timelines have to be in concurrence to go forward to a mutually compatible future.”
I understood—sort of.
“I guess this means you haven’t invented time travel yet?”
“Nope. Any idea why the other me is such a slouch?”
“I asked you to join the Time Scouts three years ago, but you couldn’t be bothered,” I murmured by way of explanation. “You were too busy playing on computer games and watching TV.”
“I don’t blame you or Dad. Something’s seriously out of joint, but I don’t know what. Friday Present seems to have the intelligence but not the pizzazz to want to do anything.”
“Except play the guitar in the Gobshites.”
“If you can call it playing,” said Friday with an unkind laugh.
“Don’t be so—” I checked myself. If this wasn’t self-criticism, I didn’t know what was.
All of a sudden, there was another Friday standing next to Potential Friday. He was identical, except he was carrying a manila folder. They looked at each other curiously. The newest Friday said “Sorry” in an embarrassed fashion and walked a little way down the corridor, where he pretended to be interested in the carved wood around the doorframe.
“This morning I only had one son,” I muttered despondently. “Now I’ve got three!”
Friday glanced at the second Friday over his shoulder, who was caught staring at us and quickly looked the other way. “You’ve only got one, Mum. Don’t worry about him.”
“So what’s gone wrong?” I asked. “Why is Friday Present so unlike Potential Friday?”
“It’s difficult to tell. This 2002 isn’t like the one in the Standard History Eventline. Everyone seems introspective and lacking in any sort of charisma. It’s as though a heavy sky is forcing lassitude on the population—in a word, a grayness seems to have spread across the land.”
“I know what you mean,” I said, shaking my head sadly. “We’ve seen a sixty percent drop in book readership; it seems no one can be bothered to invest their time in a good novel.”
“That would figure,” replied Friday thoughtfully. “It’s not supposed to be like this, I assure you—the best minds have it as the beginning of the Great Unraveling. If what we suspect is true and time travel isn’t invented in the next three and a half days, we might be heading toward a spontaneously accelerated inverse obliteration of all history.”
“Can you put that into a carpet metaphor I might understand?”
“If we can’t secure our existence right at the beginning, time will start to roll up like a carpet, taking history with it.”
“How fast?”
“It will begin slowly at 22:03 on Friday with the obliteration of the earliest fossil record. Ten minutes after that, all evidence of ancient hominids will vanish, swiftly followed by the sudden absence of everything from the middle Holocene. Five minutes later all megalithic structures will vanish as if they’d never been. The pyramids will go in another two minutes, with ancient Greece vanishing soon after. In the course of another minute, the Dark Ages will disappear, and in the next twenty seconds the Norman Conquest will never have happened. In the final twenty-seven seconds, we will see modern history disappear with increased rapidity, until at 22:48 and nine seconds the end of history will catch up with us and there will be nothing left at all, nor any evidence that there was—to all intents and purposes, we won’t ever have existed.”
“So what’s the cause?”
“I’ve no idea, but I’m going to have a good look around. Did you want something?”
“Oh—yes. I need to speak to Aornis. One of her family’s old henchmen is on the prowl—or was.”
“Wait a moment.”
And in an instant he was gone.
“Ah!” said the other Friday, returning from just up the corridor.
“Sorry about that. Enloopment records are kept in the twelfth millennium, and being accurate to the second on a ten-thousand-year jump is still a bit beyond me.”
He opened the manila file and flicked through the contents.
“She’s done seven years of a thirty-year looping for unlawful memory distortion,” he murmured. “We had to hold her trial in the thirty-seventh century, where it actually is a crime. The dubious legality of being tried outside one’s own time zone would have been cause for an appeal, but she never lodged one.”
“Perhaps she forgot.”
“It’s possible. Shall we go?”
We stepped outside the SpecOps Building, turned left and walked the short distance to the Brunel Shopping Centre.
“Have you seen anything of my father?” I asked. I hadn’t seen him for over a year, not since the last potential life-extinguishing Armageddon anyway.
“I see him flash past from time to time,” replied Friday, “but he’s a bit of an enigma. Sometimes we’re told to hunt him down, and the next moment we’re working under him. Sometimes he’s even leading the hunt for himself. Listen, I’m ChronoGuard and even I can’t figure it out. Ah! We’re here.”
I looked up and frowned. We didn’t seem to be “here” anywhere in particular—we were outside T.J. Maxx, the discount clothes store.
18.
Aornis Hades
They called it being “in the loop,” but the official name was Closed Loop Temporal Field Containment. It was used only for criminals where there was little hope of rehabilitation, or even contrition. It was run by the ChronoGuard and was frighteningly simple. They popped the convict in an eight-minute repetitive time loop for five, ten, twenty years. The prisoner’s body aged but never needed sustenance. It was cruel and unnatural—yet cheap and required no bars, guards or food.
We walked into the Swindon T. J. Maxx, threaded our way through the busy morning bargain hunters and found the manager, a well-dressed woman with an agreeable manner who had been in my class at school but whose name I had forgotten—we always gave polite nods to each other, but nothing more than that. Friday showed her his ID. She smiled and led us to a keypad mounted on the wall. The manager punched in a long series of numbers, and then Friday punched an even longer series of numbers. There was a shift in the light to a greeny blue, the manager and all the customers stopped dead in their tracks as time ground to a halt, and a faint buzz replaced the happy murmur of shoppers.
Friday looked at the manila folder he was carrying and then around the store. The illumination was similar to the cool glow you get from underwater lights in a swimming pool, with reflections that danced on the ceiling. Within the bluey greenness of the store’s interior, I could see spheres of warm light, and within these there seemed to be some life. We walked past several of these spheres, and I noted that while most of the people inside were dark and indistinct, at least one was more vivid than the rest and looking very much alive—the prisoner.
“She should be at Checkout Six,” said Friday, leading the way past a ten-foot-wide translucent yellow sphere that was centered on the chair outside the changing rooms. “That’s Reginald Danforth,” murmured Friday. “He assassinated Mahatma Winston Smith al Wazeed during his historic speech to the citizens of the World
State in 3419. Looped for seven hundred and ninety-eight years in an eight-minute sliver of time where he’s waiting for his girlfriend, Trudi, to try on a camisole.”
“Does he know he’s looped?”
“Of course.”
I looked at Danforth, who was staring at the floor and clenching and unclenching his fists in frustration.
“How long’s he been in?”
“Thirty-four years. If he tells us who his co-conspirator was, we’ll enlarge his loop from eight minutes to fifteen.”
“Do you loop people just in stores?”
“We used to use dentists’ waiting rooms, bus stops and cinemas during Merchant-Ivory films, as these tended to be natural occurrences of slow time, but there were too many prisoners, so we had to design our own. Temporal-J, Maximum Security—why, what did you think T.J. Maxx was?”
“A place to buy designer-label clothing at reasonable prices?”
He laughed. “The very idea! Next you’ll be telling me that IKEA just sells furniture you have to build yourself.”
“Isn’t it?”
“Of course not. Here she is.”
We had approached the checkout, where a sphere of warm light about eighteen feet wide encompassed most of the till and a line of bored-looking shoppers. Right at the back of the queue was a familiar face: Aornis Hades, younger sister of Acheron. She was a Mnemonomorph—someone with the ability to control memories. I’d defeated her good and proper, twice in the real world and once in my head. She was slim, dark and attractive and dressed in the very latest fashion—but only from when she was looped seven years ago. Mind you, because of the vague meanderings of the fashion industry, she’d been in and out of high style twenty-seven times since then and was currently in—although she’d never know it. To a looped individual, time remains the same.
“You know she can control coincidences?”
“Not anymore,” replied Friday, with a grimness that I found disconcerting in one so young.
“Who are they?” I asked, pointing at the other women in the line for the checkout.
“They’re not prisoners—just real shoppers doing real shopping at the time of her enloopment; Miss Hades is stuck in an eight-minute zone waiting to pay for goods, but she never does. If it’s true what they say about her love of shopping, this punishment is particularly apt.”
“Do I have anything to bargain with?”
Friday looked at the file. “You can stretch her loop by twenty minutes.”
“How do I get to talk to her?”
“Just step inside the sphere of influence.”
I took a deep breath and walked into the globe of yellow light. All of a sudden, normality returned with a jerk. I was back in what seemed like real life. It was raining outside, which was what must have been happening when she was looped. Aornis, well used to the monotonous round of limited dialogue during her eight-minute existence, noticed me immediately.
“Well, well,” she murmured sarcastically, “is it visitors’ day already?”
“Hello, Aornis,” I said with a smile. “Remember me?”
“Very funny. What do you want, Next?”
I offered her a small vanity case with some cosmetics in it that I had picked off a shelf earlier. She didn’t take it.
“Information,” I said.
“Is there a deal in the offing?”
“I can give you another ten minutes. It’s not much, but it’s something.”
She looked at me, then all around her. She knew that people were outside the sphere looking in, but not how many and who. She had the power to wipe memories but not read minds. If she could, she’d know how much I hated her. Mind you, she probably knew that already.
“Next, please!” said the checkout girl, and Aornis put two dresses and a pair of shoes on the counter.
“How’s the family, Thursday—Landen and Friday and the girls?”
“Information, Aornis.”
She took a deep breath as the loop jumped back to the beginning of her eight minutes and she was once more at the rear of the line. She clenched her fists so tightly her knuckles went white. She’d been doing this for ten years without respite. The only thing worse than a loop was a loop in which one suffered a painful trauma, such as a broken leg. But even the most sadistic judges could never find it in themselves to order that.
Aornis calmed herself, looked up at me and said, “Give me twenty minutes and I’ll tell you what you want to know.”
“I want to know about Felix8.”
“That’s not a name I’ve heard for a while,” replied Aornis evenly. “What’s your interest in that empty husk?”
“He was hanging around my house with a loaded gun yesterday,” I told her, “and I can only assume he was wanting to do me harm.”
Aornis looked mildly perturbed. “You saw him?”
“With my own eyes.”
“Then I don’t understand. After Acheron’s untimely end, Felix8 seemed rather at a loss. He came around to the house and was making a nuisance of himself, very like an abandoned dog.”
“So what happened?”
“Cocytus put him down.”
“I’m assuming you don’t mean in the sense of ‘to humiliate.’”
“You think correct.”
“And when was this?”
“In 1986.”
“Did you witness the murder? Or see the body?” I stared at her carefully, trying to determine if she was telling the truth.
“No. He just said he had. You could have asked him yourself, but you killed him, didn’t you?”
“He was evil. He brought it upon himself.”
“I wasn’t being serious,” replied Aornis. “It’s what passes for humor in the Hades family.”
“This doesn’t really help me,” I murmured.
“That’s nothing to do with me,” replied Aornis. “You wanted intel, and I gave it to you.”
“If I find out you’ve lied,” I said, getting ready to leave, “I’ll be back to take away the twenty minutes I gave you.”
“If you’ve seen Felix8, how could you think otherwise?” pointed out Aornis with impeccable logic.
“Stranger things have happened.”
I stepped out of the loop cell and was back in the bluey greenness of T.J. Maxx among the time-frozen customers, with Friday at my side.
“Think she’s telling the truth?” he asked.
“If she is, it makes no sense at all, which is a point in her favor. If she’d told me what I wanted to hear, I’d have been more suspicious. Did she say anything else to me she might have made me forget?”
Aornis, with her power of memory distortion and erasure, was wholly untrustworthy—she could tell you everything, only to make you forget it a few seconds later. At her trial the judge and jury were merely actors—the real judge and jury watched it all on CCTV. To this day the actors in the courtroom still have no idea why that “frightfully pleasant girl” was in the dock at all. Friday ran over what he had witnessed her saying, and we managed to find an exchange that she’d erased from my recollection: that she was going to bust out of T.J. Maxx with the help of someone “on the outside.”
“Any idea who that might be?” I asked. “And why did she shield it from me?”
“No idea—and it’s probably just her being manipulative; my guess is the recollection will be on time release—it’ll pop into your head in a few hours.”
I nodded. She’d done something similar to me before.
“But I wouldn’t worry,” added Friday. “Temporal Enloopment has a hundred percent past-present-future escape-free record; she’d have to bend the Standard History Eventline to get out.”
I left Aornis to her never-ending wait at the checkout, and Friday powered down the visitors’ interface. The manager popped back into life as time started up again.
“Did you get all you need?” she asked pleasantly.
“I hope so,” I replied, and followed Friday from the store. “Thanks,” I said, giving him a
motherly hug and a kiss.
“Mum,” he said in a serious tone.
“What?”
“There’s something I need to suggest to you, and you’re going to have to think really carefully before you reply.”
“What is it?”
“It’s Friday. The other Friday. We’ve got two and a half days to the End of Time. Does it seriously look like he’s going to join the ChronoGuard?”
“It’s possible.”
“Mum—truthfully?”
“No.”
“We’re running out of options fast. My director-general older self is still absent at the End of Time, so I had a word with Bendix, and he suggested we try…replacement.”
“What do you mean?”
“That your Friday is removed and I take his place.”
“Define ‘removed.’”
Friday scratched his head.
“We’ve run several timestream models, and it looks good. I’m precisely the same age as him, and I’m what he would be like if he hadn’t gone down the bone-idle route. If ‘replacement’ isn’t a good word for you, why not think of it as just rectifying a small error in the Standard History Eventline.”
“Let me get this straight,” I said. “You want to murder my son and replace him with yourself? I only met you ten minutes ago.”
“I’m your son, Mum. Every memory, good or bad is as much a part of me as it is the Friday at home. You want me to prove it? Who else knows about the BookWorld? One of your best friends is Melanie Bradshaw, who’s a gorilla. It’s true she let me climb all over the furniture and swing from the light fixtures. I can speak Courier Bold
and Lorem Ipsum and even unpeel a banana with my feet—want me to show you?”
“No,” I said. “I accept that you’re my son. But you can’t kill the other Friday—he’s done nothing wrong. I won’t let you.”
“Mum! Which Friday would you rather have? The feckless, lazy ass or me?”
“You don’t understand what it is to be a mother, Friday. The answer’s no. I’ll take the Friday I’m dealt.”
“I thought you might say that,” he said in a harsher manner. “I’ll report back to Scintilla, but if the ChronoGuard feels there’s no alternative, we might decide to go ahead anyway—with or without your permission.”
Thursday Next in First Among Sequels Page 15