People stood for the opening hymn, and she and Papa each scooped up a twin and joined their voices in “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear.” The dimly lit sanctuary, smelling of fresh pine and spruce, the advent wreath at the front of the church, the greenery and red bows decorating the pews and railings—all of it brought her calm. Not joy, not yet, but calm.
It was a time of new life, new birth. She wanted so badly for that new life to be right here, raising the twins with their great-grandfather and their uncle.
And her prayers this afternoon had reminded her that she was forgiven, ultimately forgiven by God. That she had value and was worthy simply in Him, regardless of her own significant mistakes.
Feeling like she deserved love and good treatment and a chance—that would take a little more time. God had a lot of work to do in her, but she was starting on the path.
When it was time to share the peace, Papa tapped her shoulder and gestured toward a gray-haired man in a wheelchair, alone in the back of the church. “Need to go sit with Tommy. He’s a Vietnam vet and this is his first time at church in years. He shouldn’t be alone.”
“Of course.”
She cuddled the twins, one on either side of her, giving Mikey a board book to look at and Teddy a couple of colorful blocks. Surprisingly, they played quietly while the Bible passages and carols continued on.
They were so dear to her. How could she possibly say goodbye to them?
And what was in store for her afterward? A prison of loneliness? A real prison?
“Fear not, for behold, I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.”
Fear not. Erica repeated it to herself, over and over.
They were half an hour into the service when Teddy got restless. He slid down from the pew and tried to scoot along it, which was awesome—he’d walk soon—but he kept falling, and the effort to pull himself up again, the frustration of it, made him cry. Mikey, as was his way, babbled instructions, which got progressively louder.
Erica scooped Teddy up and put him on the seat beside her, but he wasn’t having it. He cried harder.
Erica was starting to gather her things to leave when someone behind her picked Teddy up. She expected more crying, but instead he quieted down immediately.
She turned partway around.
It was Jason. “I’ll hold him,” he said, and his slight smile made her heart soar.
That hadn’t been an “I hate you” smile.
With only Mikey to contend with, she was able to keep him entertained and even to listen and sing a little more. But she was hyperaware of the man behind her, singing in his deep bass voice, whispering to Teddy.
The lights dimmed for the candlelight part of the service, and as “Silent Night” echoed out from the choir and organ, Erica’s heart filled to the brim.
Christ had been born for all of them. In this fallen world, how badly they all needed Him, and He had come.
God had seen fit to send His son to save sinners like her.
The candles were lit, person to person. She was struggling to keep hold of Mikey and sidle to the nearest person when Jason came around from his pew to hers. He lit her candle and met her eyes. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“I’m sorry, too,” she said.
And then she turned away to light her neighbor’s candle and the twins babbled and everyone sang. But she was still unsure about the man next to her. What could it mean, his kindness, in contrast to the outrage he’d shown her yesterday?
Soon enough, the lights came back on. Joyous music rang out and people greeted each other, stopped to chat. Children shouted and ran with the excitement of staying up late and presents to come.
Ruth and Papa Andy approached as the crowd thinned out. Without a word, each took a twin, and they headed toward the reception in the foyer of the church.
That left Erica and Jason alone together, side by side.
His arm was draped along the back of the pew, behind her but not touching. “I’ve been thinking—”
“So have I, and, Jason, I’m so sorry.”
He opened his mouth to speak again and she held up a hand. “Let me say this. I was wrong to pretend the twins were mine. Especially as you and I got closer. It was deceptive and that’s a horrible thing to do. I was trying to do the right thing, but that’s no excuse. I just... I really care for you, Jason, and I apologize for the wrong I did to you.”
He looked at the floor, then met her eyes. “Thank you for that.”
And then there was no sound but the organ music and a little distant chatter as people left the sanctuary.
Was that all? Erica wondered. Now that she’d apologized, were they done?
And then he took her hand and held it. “I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. One of them was saying some pretty harsh things to you, things that came out of my sadness about Kimmie and my anger at myself, more than being about you.” He shook his head, looking away, then looked back at her. “I can be judgmental. A perfectionist. I’ve been like that all my life, but I’m trying to improve. I was hurt by what you did, but I shouldn’t have said those things to you.” He paused, cleared his throat. “To the woman I love.”
“To the woman you...” Erica’s heart pounded so quickly she couldn’t catch her breath. “You love me?”
He nodded and smiled, touching her cheek. “Is that so hard to believe?”
She laughed a little as tears rose to her eyes. Jason wasn’t angry anymore. He wasn’t expecting her to be perfect.
He loved her.
A lifetime of feeling inadequate seemed to rise up in her like a wave, and then crash and dissipate. “Yes, it’s hard to believe,” she whispered. “You might have to tell me more than once.”
“Then you’ll...” He broke off. “We should be practical.”
“Practical?” She lifted her eyebrows and clutched his hand. She’d never had an experience like this and didn’t know how it was supposed to go. But practical?
“I want to stay in Holly Springs, at Holly Creek Farm. Papa needs me, and I...I owe it to him to be here, like he was here for me and Kimmie.”
“Of course,” she said, hardly breathing.
“I can find work here. Probably police work, but there’s so much to do on the farm, as well. I need to figure all that out.”
She nodded. Inside, she was thinking, He wants career counseling? Really?
“Look, I’m making a mess of this because I don’t know... How do you feel about me, Erica? Would you want to...”
She closed her eyes for a moment. You have value. And you’re strong. “My dream would be to stay here, too, and to raise the twins with you.”
There. She’d said it and it was out on the table.
“Like, coparenting?” He shook his head. “No. Erica, that’s not going to be enough for me. I know it might take you a while to have the feelings, but I’d like to try to move toward a true, permanent partnership. Toward...” He swallowed. “Toward marriage.”
“You want to marry me?”
“Kimmie knew what she was doing when she left us each half of the farm, I think,” he stumbled on.
Was that true? Would Kimmie have left her part of the farm because she was matchmaking? Erica’s head spun and her heart pounded. Jason loved her. He wanted to marry her.
“I know it’s soon and we haven’t known each other long, but—”
“But sometimes you just know,” she interrupted, her eyes pinned on his face. “I love you, Jason. And my answer is yes. Yes, let’s move toward marriage but I...I’m pretty sure that my answer is yes, forever.”
He pulled her into his strong arms, and Erica knew she had found the home and the family—and the Christmas—she’d always dreamed of.
Epilogue
Twelve months later
/> Erica tucked the blanket tighter around Teddy and Mikey, nestled in back of the old sleigh.
“Ready, everyone?” Up front, Papa made a clicking sound with his tongue, and the horses started to move.
“Ready as we’ll ever be.” Jason held Mistletoe by the collar and reached across the twins to squeeze Erica’s shoulder.
As they approached the covered bridge, white with a simple Christmas wreath, Erica couldn’t help but remember the first time she’d ridden in the sleigh, one year ago. Her life had undergone a radical change she never could have envisioned, and she was loving it.
Sunlight caught her wedding ring, making it sparkle like fire.
Papa cleared his throat. “Thought I’d stop and pick up Ruth,” he said over his shoulder.
Erica looked at Jason, raising her eyebrows.
He leaned over. “Maybe Papa has some news to share, too,” he whispered.
As they approached Ruth’s house, Mistletoe spotted a rabbit and started barking, straining to escape Jason’s strong grip.
“No, Miss-toe!” Mikey scolded.
“No, Miss-toe,” Teddy echoed.
“Are you sure it’s okay to bring the dog along?” Erica asked as Papa jumped spryly out of the sleigh and strode up the sidewalk to Ruth’s front door, sporting its Tiny Tykes sign—a spot very familiar to Erica, since she’d spent a lot of time working there in the past year.
“Mrs. Habler wants to try him out as a camel in the pageant, and Hank promised to watch him during the service. He and his friend are running the hot chocolate and cider stand for Sleigh Bell Sunday.” Jason shrugged. “Could be a disaster, but they insisted.”
Ruth came out, dressed all in red, and Papa helped her into the front of the sleigh.
She twisted around to see the twins, laughing at them and pinching their rosy cheeks.
“Roof, Roof!” they said in rapturous voices, their adoration obvious.
“And don’t you both look handsome in your new snowsuits,” she said. “New boots, too!”
“Boots,” Teddy agreed, holding a leg out.
Ruth looked over at Erica. “Honey, do you think you can sub for a few hours tomorrow? I know you want part-time, but—”
“Of course, no problem. You know I love the center.” Erica gave Jason and the boys a mock-stern glare. “Just as long as these three let me study for my test tonight. You’re not on duty, are you?” she asked Jason.
“No more evenings, remember? That was my condition for the promotion.” Jason was enjoying small-town police work, but he was clear about making time for family. “And it’s hard for me to let you study, but I’ll do my best.”
Erica blushed. “Leave your hat on, Teddy,” she ordered as the sleigh drove on.
“No!” He looked up at her to see what she thought of his opinion.
“Told you he’d started his terrible twos,” Ruth sang out from the front seat. “He’s late, but you’re not going to escape them.”
“I know.” But she relished every stage the twins went through. And now she could look forward to sharing every future stage with Jason. She snuggled down under the blanket, Teddy on her lap now, Jason at her side with Mikey on his lap, the dog at her feet. Papa and Ruth in the front seat.
Glorious stuff, for a girl who’d never had a real family.
At the church, they tied up and the twins were immediately off, shouting and running in the snow under Ruth’s watchful eye. Papa started to follow them, but Jason put a hand on his grandfather’s arm. “Papa,” he said, “we have some news.”
Papa stood still and looked from Jason to Erica. “Is it what I think it is?”
Jason nodded. “A little girl.”
Papa folded them into his arms. “I was already happy, but you two young people just made me even happier.”
Erica pulled back so she could look up at both of them. “I’ve been thinking about names,” she said. “If it’s okay with the two of you...I’d like to call her Kimmie.”
It was just as well the church bells rang at that moment, because none of them could speak. They just stood, holding on to each other as the twins came back to grab legs and Mistletoe barked to be let out of the sleigh.
Full circle. Erica lifted her face to heaven with a prayer of gratitude and joy. And it seemed to her that her old friend Kimmie, all sins forgotten, must be smiling down at the entire family.
* * * * *
If you enjoyed this story, try these books in
the RESCUE RIVER miniseries
from Lee Tobin McClain!
ENGAGED TO THE SINGLE MOM
HIS SECRET CHILD
SMALL-TOWN NANNY
THE SOLDIER AND THE SINGLE MOM
THE SOLDIER’S SECRET CHILD
Available now from Love Inspired!
* * *
And don’t miss the next
CHRISTMAS TWINS story,
TEXAS CHRISTMAS TWINS
by Deb Kastner,
available December 2017!
Find more great reads at www.LoveInspired.com.
Keep reading for an excerpt from AN AMISH PROPOSAL by Jo Ann Brown.
Join Harlequin My Rewards today and earn a FREE ebook!
Click here to Join Harlequin My Rewards
http://www.harlequin.com/myrewards.html?mt=loyalty&cmpid=EBOOBPBPA201602010003
Dear Reader,
I’ve always been fascinated with twins, so research for this book has been a joy! Watching videos of how baby twins “talk” to each other, mock-shopping for Christmas outfits and peppering every twin parent I know about their memories of the early years...what could be more fun? And since my own daughter benefited from early intervention services, it made me happy to give a nod to the amazing work doctors and therapists do to help babies catch up.
I also loved figuring out Erica and Jason’s story. Both of them have baggage from childhood hurts, and both are insecure about their ability to make a relationship work. But as they discover, God is there to help all of us grow closer to perfection, as we seek Him and follow His will.
My prayer is that each of you experiences love and peace this Christmas season. Please visit my website at www.leetobinmcclain.com and stay in touch. I love to hear from readers!
Warmest Christmas wishes,
Lee
We hope you enjoyed this Harlequin Love Inspired story.
You believe hearts can heal. Love Inspired stories show that faith, forgiveness and hope have the power to lift spirits and change lives—always.
Enjoy six new stories from Love Inspired every month!
Connect with us on Harlequin.com for info on our new releases, access to exclusive offers, free online reads and much more!
Harlequin.com/newsletters
Facebook.com/HarlequinBooks
Twitter.com/HarlequinBooks
HarlequinBlog.com
Join Harlequin My Rewards & Instantly earn a FREE ebook of your choice.
Earn points for every Harlequin print and ebook you buy, wherever & whenever you shop.
Turn your points into FREE BOOKS.
Don’t miss out. Reward the book lover in you!
Register Today & Earn a FREE BOOK*
*New members who join before December 31st, 2017 will receive 2000 points redeemable for eligible titles.
Click here to register
Or visit us online to register at
http://www.harlequin.com/myrewards.html?mt=loyalty&cmpid=EBOOBPBPA201602010001
An Amish Proposal
by Jo Ann Brown
Chapter One
Paradise Springs
Lancaster County, Pennsylvania
When the night sky opened and it started raining, Katie Kay Lapp stopped by the side of the roa
d, covered her face with her hands and began to cry. The cold downpour was the final insult in a day that had begun badly and gotten worse with each passing hour. How had she gotten to this point? Months ago, she’d been the center of attention of young men at any gathering. They’d vied for time with her and for the chance to take her home in their courting buggies. Now she was abandoned and afraid and had no place to go.
You could go home.
Ach, it was easy for the little voice in her head—the one nagging her endlessly about doing the right thing—to say that. But she’d burned her bridges behind her and in front of her and around her. She couldn’t go home. Her sisters would welcome her, but Daed would insist on knowing every detail of what she’d done since she ran away. He’d want to pray with her and ask her to repent for any sins she’d committed.
And she’d committed a bunch. Some intentionally and others by accident. In the eyes of Bishop Reuben Lapp, what she’d done would need to be repented for with prayer before it could be forgiven.
She moaned aloud when she imagined telling her daed about her fear that she was pregnant. Many plain women her age were married with one or more bopplin, but she hadn’t been ready to settle down and lead an Amish life, the only life she’d ever known until she left home four months ago to find out what the rest of the world was like. It hadn’t been a carefree rumspringa decision. Instead, she’d made the choice with care and a lot of deep consideration.
Or so she’d thought at the time.
Raindrops slid beneath her T-shirt and down her spine like a cascade of ice cubes. October could be a beautiful month in southeastern Pennsylvania or unforgiving like tonight.
Straightening, Katie Kay looked around. She wasn’t sure where she was. Somewhere in rural Lancaster County, she knew, but not exactly where. She hadn’t paid any attention. She’d been surprised when Austin, whom she’d described to others as her Englisch boyfriend because she’d foolishly believed he cared about her, had driven her and a couple of other Englischers out of Lancaster City, but she hadn’t watched where they were going. Rain had been falling, and the streetlights had glittered on the windshield, disguising any landmarks in splattered light. She hadn’t expected she’d need to know. She’d thought she was returning to the apartment she shared with Austin and their friends.
Secret Christmas Twins Page 18