“Can you love a boring, plain cowboy?” He stared at her intently, waiting for an answer.
“No. The cowboy I love is anything but boring or plain.” She brushed the back of her hand against his cheek. “We’re going to be okay.”
The morning turned to afternoon and it was time to pick up Cody.
“I was thinking, can have movie nights or something with Cody? Try to introduce him to the idea of us back together as a family,” she asked Jeremy after she’d taken a shower and gotten dressed.
“I’d like that. Maybe even dinners together several nights a week,” he added.
“And if you stayed, even after he was in bed, I wouldn’t be opposed to that.”
Casting a half smirk her way, he buckled his belt. “I bet you wouldn’t.”
“Sundays are always a little hectic, because we’re getting ready for the school week. Dinner tomorrow?”
“I’ll be here.”
A quick kiss, followed by a long, lingering one and she was on her way to get Cody; Jeremy was walking back to his cabin. She couldn’t wipe the smile from her face. Yesterday had started out so miserably but ended beautifully. Was she being imprudent rushing back into a relationship with Jeremy? It wasn’t like they were strangers just getting to know each other. No, she had concerns, namely how her family would react, but she felt certain she was meant to be with Jeremy.
There are some things in life that you know and don’t question. This was one of those. Last night and this morning, they’d been more open with each other, both in loving and conversation, than they’d ever been while married. Her insides threatened to melt with just the memory. This was right. She wouldn’t allow doubts to assail her heart.
“You’re alive,” her mom greeted her when she walked into her parents’ kitchen. “I was just about to send someone to check on you.”
“My phone’s been turned on.”
“I’m just giving you a hard time. Usually, you come over earlier to get him.”
“I was busy this morning and lost track of time.”
“Hmm. Could you have been spending time with that boyfriend of yours?” Her mom gave an exaggerated wink.
“Clay and I broke up yesterday,” Lanie informed her, trying her best to look sad about it.
“Really? Then why have you had an ear-to-ear grin since you walked in. That fake frown just now isn’t cutting it.”
“Can’t I just be happy, mom?”
“Of course, sweetie, but most people aren’t after a breakup, unless there was someone…” Diana Callahan’s hand flew to her mouth. “Nooo. You didn’t. You wouldn’t.”
Lanie’s face turned beet red. Her mom had always seen through any of her charades. “Shh. Keep it down,” she begged.
“Your brother’s here. Stay put a minute.” Her mom poked her head into the living room. “I’m showing Lanie the new dress I bought last week. We’ll be back down in a bit.”
Following her mother up the stairs, Lanie wondered what her mom would say. If anyone would be an ally, it’d be her.
Lanie’s mom led her into the bedroom and shut the door behind them. “Jeremy?”
Pursing her lips together, Lanie nodded yes, afraid to look at her mom.
“I’m not surprised.” Diana admitted. “It only seemed a matter of time.”
“Do you think I’m crazy?”
Shaking her head, her mom took a seat on the bed beside her. “I think you are a very brave, forgiving woman who doesn’t give up on love.”
“I’m afraid. What if I am making a big mistake? What if he hasn’t really changed at all?”
“Follow your heart, Lanie. After what he did to you, I should probably say to run far away. But as your mom, I want to see you happy and you haven’t been in years. Not completely, anyway. There’s been a silent longing lurking. For what it’s worth, I’ve seen how he looks at you when he thinks no one is watching. I’ve watched him with Cody and have seen genuine affection there. I’ve always considered myself a good judge of character and I’ll tell you- he’s not the same person that he was before the accident. Other than Cody being hurt, I think that accident was the best thing that could have happened to Jeremy.”
“So you think I’m making a wise choice, resuming a relationship with him?”
“Honey, anytime a family can be happily and trustfully restored, it’s a wise decision.” Her mom wrapped one arm around her shoulder and gave it a squeeze.
“Even though I’m all grown up, it still means a lot that you approve.”
“Speaking of families happily restored, let’s talk about you and your brother.”
Lanie groaned. “Do we have to?”
“He’s been sulking all day, sweetie. He really feels bad about yesterday.”
“And he should. Did he tell you what he said?”
“Yes. For the record, I would have slapped him too.” Her mom flashed an empathetic grin.
“Mom!” Lanie exclaimed, but the thought made her laugh anyway.
“Even though he’s stubborn and pig-headed, he’s your brother. The two of you can’t keep this fight going, especially if you want to be with Jeremy. Go talk with him. I think you’ll be surprised.”
“Can it wait? I’m too happy today to have Jase bring me down.”
Her mom raised an eyebrow, giving her a warning. “No one is guaranteed tomorrow, Lanie.” She let it drop, abruptly changing subjects. “Will you stay for dinner?”
“Sure, but we can’t stay too late. I have to get Cody’s things for the week ready.”
“I’ll get it on the table early then. Let’s get back downstairs and rescue Allie from the testosterone bath.”
Lanie laughed. “Mom, can we keep Jeremy a secret for now? It’s so new and complicated. We need time to figure it out on our own first and we don’t want anyone to know yet.”
“Of course.” Diana Callahan brushed a kiss against her daughter’s forehead then went downstairs. Lanie followed closely behind.
“Need any help?” Lanie asked.
“I’ve got it under control. You just go relax with the others.”
In the living room, Lanie spotted Cody and scooped him up in a hug. “Missed you, little man.”
“Aww mom, it’s only been a day,” Cody replied, bringing the room to a chuckle.
“Did you have fun?”
“Yep. Last night we made ice cream sundaes with lots of whipped cream and cherries. Mine was this big.” He spread his hands twelve inches apart.
Lanie eyed her dad. “I hope he’s exaggerating how big it was.”
“Maybe, maybe not,” her dad answered, winking at Cody.
Settling into a spot on the loveseat, she tried watching the football game, but couldn’t get into it. She’d never liked watching sports on television, unless they involved a horse or bull.
“I think we’ve been set up,” Jase said, moving closer to her and taking the opposite spot on the loveseat.
She looked around. Everyone else had disappeared from the room. “So it would seem.”
“Still mad me?” he asked like a petulant child.
“Yes.”
“I’m really sorry.”
“I don’t get it. Why do you keep cutting me down?”
“Because I’m scared for you, alright? I’m your brother and I’m supposed to protect you. I failed once and it’s not going to happen again.”
“Who’s going to protect me from you then?” She saw Jase wince. “You really hurt me.”
“I’m sorry. Jeremy’s presence here just reminds me of how I failed.”
“You didn’t fail. You didn’t know what Jeremy was doing back then and you couldn’t have stopped him if you did; that wasn’t your responsibility.”
“I did know what he doing.” Jase wouldn’t look her in the eyes.
“What do you mean, you knew?”
“When Allie and I went to the rodeo in Cheyenne the year before you and Jeremy split, I saw him there with another woman.”
“Why didn’t you
say anything?” Her blood pressure shot up, feeling betrayed.
“I didn’t know what to say. I hoped maybe I saw it wrong, or it wasn’t what it seemed.
“Did Allie see?”
“No. At least not that she told me. I was in line, alone, getting us something to eat when I saw him.”
She inhaled, holding a deep breath, counting to ten before exhaling. “You know what, it’s in the past. That’s where it needs to stay.”
“I’m sorry; I should have told you before.”
“It wouldn’t have changed anything; except, maybe, speeding up the divorce.”
“Maybe not, but the guilt’s eaten me up and seeing Jeremy is a constant reminder.”
“Let it go. I have.”
“You never answered my question yesterday,” Jase reminded her.
“What question,” she asked, feigning forgetfulness.
“Do you love him?”
“Are you looking for the truth or the answer you want to hear?”
“I guess they’re not one and the same.” His cheek twitched.
“Would you ever stop loving Allie?” she asked.
“Allie would never cheat.”
“I’m not saying she would. I’m only asking if there’s anything that could make you stop loving her.”
“No.”
“True love never dies, Jase. You can’t turn it off because the person wronged you, no matter how badly it hurts.”
“Are you going to get back together with him?” The question was strained, his face clearly revealing he didn’t want to hear the answer.
She hesitated, not ready to reveal that truth. “I don’t know what the future holds, but whatever it brings, I need to know that you trust and respect me enough to make my own decisions. Even if you don’t agree with me, accept that it’s my decision to make.”
He was silent for several moments. “I can do that.”
His clenched fists told her it took everything in him to agree, but she also knew he meant what he said.
“I love you, but I’m not dressing up.” For the fifth time, Jeremy refused to dress up for Halloween. He’d barely liked to do it as a kid, let alone as an adult.
“You’re no fun,” Lanie pretended to pout, her bottom lip protruding.
“That’s not what you were saying last night,” he teased, wagging his eyebrows.
“Humph,” she snorted, smacking him with the dishrag in her hand and leaving a wet spot on his jeans. “You’re still coming with us though, right?”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” This would be his first Halloween spent with Cody and he had every intention of fully celebrating the holiday, short of wearing a ridiculous costume.
“Meet us here no later than five tomorrow. The trunk or treat starts at six-thirty, but there are games and food beforehand; plus a costume contest.”
“Explain to me again exactly what a trunk or treat is.”
Lanie handed him another plate to dry. “Since the homes around Bumblton are so spread out, it makes trick-or-treating rather difficult. A few years back, the town council got together and decided to implement something they’d heard of towns and churches doing elsewhere. Registered cars all go to a designated spot and line up, usually with decorated trunks. Last year, they had a trunk decorating contest also. I haven’t heard if they’ll be doing it again this year. The kids go from car to car collecting candy, much like they would houses, but this way it’s in a much more condensed area.”
“Doesn’t that take some of the fun out of it?” he asked.
“Not really. Cody loves it and all the other kids seem to also. I guess you just have to experience one to get it.”
“Where is our superhero? I haven’t heard him in a while.”
“My guess would be in his room, trying on his costume again. Next year, I’m waiting until the day before Halloween to buy one. I’ve already had to wash it twice because he keeps spilling things on it.”
“I’ll go check on him.”
Their routine had become quite cozy, and Jeremy was okay with that. After the first week, he’d taken to spending the night and for the past week, he’d been able to wake up beside Lanie, slipping out in the early morning hours. The thing was, he didn’t want to have to slip out in the morning, worried about being seen. For two weeks they’d hidden their newly renewed relationship from everyone, with the exception of Lanie’s mom.
He didn’t want to hide it anymore. Hiding implied something wrong, something of which to be ashamed. He should know; he’d done it for years. Which is precisely why he didn’t want to hide this anymore. Lanie and he weren’t doing anything wrong. They were two adults being given a second chance to have something wonderful.
But he understood Lanie’s concerns, and he abided by them.
“Do you think we should take your costume off until tomorrow?” Cody was just as Lanie had thought, in his room dressed as Batman.
“I want to wear it now,”
“Take it off and I’ll read you a story.” Jeremy justified his bribe by the leaning quality of the trade-off. At least it wasn’t a cookie.
Looking upward, Cody deliberated the merits of each choice. “Can I pick the story?”
“Sure thing, buddy. Whichever one you want.”
Lifting his arms, Cody removed the top part of the costume with an attached cape, then slid down the pants with an elastic-banded waist. He still had his regular clothes on underneath.
Jeremy picked up the discarded items and folded them neatly, stacking the costume on Cody’s dresser. “Pick out your book then meet me in the living room.”
He went to the living room, stretching out his leg. A month had made a world of difference. Today, he’d ridden a horse again and it felt good. Really good. His leg barely felt sore, even after being on it most of the day and his limp was down to a subtle nuisance. Had someone asked him two months ago if he could be this happy, he’d have laughed, sarcastically, in their face.
There were still times when he had a niggling sense that the axe was about to fall. The feeling would creep up at the most inopportune moments, and he’d have to shake it off, convincing himself it was residual guilt and shame plaguing him, not a foreboding omen.
Lanie came and sat next to him, her body against his. Effortlessly, he slid an arm around her shoulder and she snuggled into him.
“What was Cody doing?”
“Just what you said.”
She groaned, but still smiled. “Great. I wonder what he spilled on it this time.”
“Batman still looked clean. I convinced him to take it off.”
“Really? What magic did you work?”
“I bribed him with a story.”
Lanie laughed. He’d never get tired of hearing the melodious lilt. “You’re a quick-learner.”
“Okay, I picked the story for you to read,” Cody announced, walking into the room, and handing a book to his dad.
Jeremy removed his arm from Lanie and scooped Cody to his lap. For the next half hour they sat, as a family, reading the dinosaur book three times. They flipped through the pages a fourth time, letting Cody tell the story from the pictures.
“It’s bedtime, mister,” Lanie said firmly when Cody asked to have the story read for a fifth time. She preemptively cut him before when he opened his mouth to protest. “Tomorrow’s a big day. It’s Halloween, remember?”
“Oh yeah. I can’t wait to get lots of candy.”
“Only little boys who go to sleep without a fuss get candy,” Lanie told him, using a trick from her mom arsenal.
Cody looked very serious. “Daddy, will you tuck me in? I’d like to go to bed now.”
Jeremy bit the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing. Had he fallen for such things as a child? “Let’s get your pajamas on and brush your teeth first.”
A few minutes later, he was tucking the sheets around Cody.
“I like having you here. Can you stay all the time?” Cody looked up at him through innocent blue eyes.<
br />
Jeremy’s gut tightened. “I don’t know, buddy.”
“Goodnight, daddy. I love you.”
“I love you too.” He brushed a kiss against Cody’s hair, then left the room, turning off the light on his way.
“What’s wrong,” Lanie asked when she the pensive look on his face.
“Cody asked if I could stay here all the time.”
“Oh.”
“I think it’s time to re-evaluate.”
“Let me tell him goodnight and then we’ll talk.”
Walking into the kitchen, he went to the refrigerator and pulled out a beer from the back, now that Cody was in bed. He sat at the table, waiting for Lanie to return.
She came in, sitting across from him. “He also asked me if you could.”
“We either need to tell him or spend less time with all three of us.”
“I agree.”
“I want to tell him, Lanie. I don’t like hiding things; especially from him. It’s only been two weeks, but I know my feelings and intentions toward you and Cody aren’t going to change. We’ll do what you decide, but my vote is for letting the cat out of the bag.”
“Why do you make everything sound so easy?” She laughed nervously, still not sold.
“Because I know the dangers of deceptions. I’ve lived that life and I don’t want to again. I don’t want to feel ashamed every morning when I leave, hoping no one sees me. I don’t want people to find out by accident and think we doubt our relationship or are doing something wrong.”
“I never thought about it that way.”
“I know you’re worried about your family, but I love you. I’ll be by your side.”
“This is important to you, isn’t it?”
“Yes.”
“We’ll tell Cody tomorrow and everyone else this weekend,” she decided.
“Thank you.”
There was a knock at the door.
“Is that a sign?” Lanie joked nervously, rising from her seat.
Jeremy remained seated, as to not be in direct view of whomever was at the door. Although his presence could be easily explained, he wouldn’t further complicate matters.
“Jase? What brings you out here tonight?” he heard Lanie say with surprise.
Silently, Jeremy groaned. Of all people to stop by tonight, why Jase? He really wasn’t in the mood for a confrontation. He didn’t hear Jase’s response, but then Lanie was inviting him inside. Confused by her behavior, he stood to announce his presence.
When the Glitter Fades (Cowboys of Whispering Winds) Page 9