by K. A. Hunter
He gave me a doubtful look. “But you have to eat.”
Vince called over to him from his office door, “Hey, Holden, we need you in here.”
Crap, I hope that’s not all about me.
Holden looked conflicted when I said, “Don’t worry about me, I’ll eat something at the bar.” He didn’t need to know that I was lying. And before he could convince me further, I turned and jogged away, yelling over my shoulder, “See you later!”
He didn’t try to catch up, but I heard him curse under his breath.
I decided then that my dependence on these brothers was definitely unhealthy. I’d need to figure out how to keep my distance, especially if Dante somehow knew the truth about my past.
I didn’t get to the church early enough for lunch, so I ended up eating french fries and a junior burger from some fast food joint. The greasy food sat at the bottom of my stomach like a lead weight. Better than the hunger pains, I guess.
Throughout the day, dark clouds weighed heavy in the sky, threatening to open up and pour rain. My thin t-shirt did little to protect me from the chilly air. I needed to find a place to hang out indoors, but I wasn’t up to hitting the laundromat yet. Glancing at a nearby clock, I decided to go to the library since it was the one place I could find solitude, and after all that shit happened this morning, I really needed the retreat.
Holden looked a bit sad when I’d let it slip a few days ago that our town library was the only place I had ever felt at home and the one thing I could count on. I almost kicked myself for saying anything until he began to trace my knuckles with his finger and asked if he could join me sometime.
Between his touch and the thought of him sitting next to me on one of the big comfy couches, so close that I could feel his breath on my neck, had sent an embarrassing shiver down my spine. He’d noticed my tremble and playfully laughed it off, thank God.
I wouldn’t object to him going with me, but I couldn’t imagine he’d ever understand how magical libraries were to me. I’d never been a big reader, but the moment I walked through those doors, it was as though I’d stepped into a different world. I welcomed the peaceful quiet, the musty smell of old books, and the comfort of the shabby furniture.
One of the few possessions I’d held onto for dear life was the library card I’d gotten back in high school. I wasn’t sure I would even qualify for one now since I didn’t have additional proof of my address.
A whole new world had opened up to me when I found out that card gave me access to one full hour a day on the internet. Once I figured out how to use the search engines, I felt like I’d been given a free round-trip ticket to anywhere I wanted to go.
I never used social media sites because, let’s face it, besides Holden, I didn't have any friends to socialize with. And even though I was stuck in the same county I’d grown up in, I definitely had no interest in connecting with people from my past.
When I fired up the internet, the usual national headlines popped up. The one that caught my eye was about the White House getting closer to selecting a corporation to protect them from further computer hacking. I hadn’t even read that they’d been hacked in the first place, but things like that made me thankful I didn’t have my own electronic devices. The last thing I needed was for some cyber-criminal to have my private information.
As I’d hoped, nobody bothered me while I scrolled through countless websites during my allotted hour. I researched different places and things to do, dreaming of a life I couldn’t imagine living. It probably seemed odd that someone who’d never been anywhere outside the U.S. would be so fascinated by other people’s travels, but I couldn’t help myself. When we’d done that career assessment in high school, my results said I’d be some sort of world traveler. Unfortunately, those tests didn’t know shit about my reality.
The second thing I always looked at were the employment listings. The only things I qualified for, though, were the jobs that listed No Experience Necessary. They always seemed to have the shadiest ads, too. Everything from private dancers to cleaning ladies. I have to admit, I read the posting for Beau Monde Domestic Services, a high-end house cleaning company, a few times. The pay listed was more than I made including tips, and I had to ask myself if it really would be that bad cleaning toilets for the rich and famous. Some clients even offered living quarters.
Saving the best for last, I finally clicked on the Globe Trekker website. I loved watching the archived episodes and even broke down and bought some earbuds from the dollar store not that long ago. Sadly for me, the next guy kicked me out of my seat before I could finish the video on The Fiesta of San Miguel, Bolivia.
Stepping away, I pulled my duffle bag strap over my shoulder and headed for the front door, dreaming about the colorful festival I’d just seen when I spotted Holden leaning against a wall nearby. And he was watching me. Shit, how long has he been standing there?
“I wondered if I’d find you here today.” He pushed away from the wall and flashed one of his heart-melting smiles. No matter how much I wanted to deny it, this guy made me feel alive and full of hope, but at the moment, I was ashamed that I’d lied to him earlier.
I gripped the strap of my bag tighter and took a deep breath.
He placed his hands on the side of my face and ran his thumbs along my cheeks, encouraging me to look at him. “Hey, it’s okay.” His soft words drew my eyes to his. “Jules, tell me the truth. When do you have to be at work, or anywhere for that matter?”
I cleared my throat and gave him what he wanted to hear—the truth. “Tomorrow night.”
I was hypnotized when he flashed another fierce smile. “So you don’t have anything going on for the rest of today or tomorrow?”
“Besides laundry, no.” I lifted my shoulder, showing him the bag.
Stepping to my side, he tugged on my hand. “Good. You do now.”
We walked through the long open aisle that led to the back door. I’d never actually used that exit before since it went to the parking lot.
Just outside, I halted.
He frowned at me. “What’s wrong?”
I pulled my hand from his and warily grabbed the strap of my bag again. “Where are we going?” It wasn’t that I didn’t trust him, but I’d had the rug pulled from under me too many times today.
He circled me and wrapped his arms around my stomach, then kissed my neck. Holy shit, that made my entire body tingle. “I’m kidnapping you and taking you to my favorite place.”
When I spoke, a breathy voice came out, surprising me. “Is it kidnapping if I go willingly?” We never really flirted, but I wasn’t complaining, even if I didn’t know where we were going.
He chuckled against my skin. “Come on. Let’s go.”
A cool breeze hit us as we weaved through the parking lot, hand in hand. Stepping up to a brand new sports car that didn’t even have a license plate yet, Holden opened the passenger door and swiped his hand in the air, directing me to get in.
I glanced around. “Where’s your International?” The handful of times I’d let him drive me around, we’d been in his older model SUV.
“At home. I just drove this down from the dealer in San Francisco.” He pursed his lips. “Too pretentious?”
“Nah,” I said as I slid onto the soft leather seat, barely holding back a sigh.
Heaven.
As he sat in the driver’s seat, I smirked at him. “You know, I had a friend who used to say only rich, spoiled boys and men going through a midlife crisis drove sports cars.” And Scott, my old partner in crime, would’ve added, ‘and car thieves like me.’
“Oh yeah,” Holden challenged, “and would you agree with this friend of yours?”
He gave me one of his signature smiles while revving up the engine. The sound reminded me of a life I’d lived so long ago. A time that was just as fucked up as the one I was currently living, but at least I hadn’t been alone then. Well, not physically anyway.
Shaking those thoughts away, I gave my snarky
response, “Maybe. I haven’t decided yet.”
Snickering, he headed toward the freeway. “Sorry to steal you away from laundry day, but we’ll get that taken care of, too.”
I crossed my ankles and leaned against the door. “Seriously, where are we going?” I wasn’t nervous or afraid at this point, just extremely curious.
Gunning the engine, we flew up the onramp and sped across the highway until we ended up in the carpool lane. Man, I missed the exhilaration of being in a speeding car.
“Manhattan Beach,” he said matter of factly, as though we’d driven out there a million times together.
“We’re going to the beach?”
He nodded and shot me another grin before focusing on the road. I sat back, stunned. It may seem silly, but I’d lived in Pasadena and the surrounding area most of my life and had never been to the beach. But I wondered if the weather would cooperate when I remembered the heavy, dark clouds in the sky above.
“But isn’t it going to rain soon?” I felt Holden’s warm hand on mine and immediately felt calmer. Apparently, I was on edge.
“Relax. We don’t have to go if you don’t want to, but I’d love to show you where I unwind.”
“No. I wanna see, I’ve just…never been there before.” I bit my bottom lip. Who lives in southern California all their life and hasn’t gone to the beach?
“Well, then you’re gonna love this.” He switched on some music and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. “So tell me something I don’t know about you.”
Oh shit. I hadn’t told him much yet. Well, nothing too personal. How should I answer that?
The inquisitive look on his face was sexy as hell, and if he kept looking at me like he really did care, I might open up and share way too much. Which would, of course, scare the shit out of him. No, I needed to keep things light just as I had so far.
“Um…” I rubbed my lips with my index finger, pretending like I was contemplating. “Until this morning, I’d never stepped foot in a gym.”
He lit up with curiosity. “Now that’s surprising, but I don’t mind being the one to teach you anything you want to learn.”
My heart fluttered up a storm in my chest. If this feeling didn’t only happen when he was around, I’d swear I had a murmur or something. When we spent time together, I forget about all the jacked up things waiting for me when I got back to reality, and I wanted to find a way to hang out with him as long as possible.
He casually placed his hand on the top of my seat’s headrest and tilted his head to the side. “What about driving? You never wanted to learn? I can teach you that too if you like.”
I had to snicker at that. Shortly after we’d first talked, he spotted me walking from the motel to work one evening and was shocked when I told him I didn’t drive. I don’t expect him to fully understand since I imagine he’d had his own car the moment he turned sixteen and got his license.
When he’d first asked questions out of curiosity, I told him what I tell everyone else. Everything is within walking distance for me, and I don’t need to waste money on a car. If he only knew the whole truth. “I never said I didn’t know how. I said that I don’t.”
“Do you want to now?” He gestured at the wheel. “I can pull over.”
I looked around, really wanting to but knowing better. I’d driven plenty of cars like this one, which was why I couldn’t take him up on his offer. “No. I’d rather not get pulled over without a license.”
His eyebrows raised. “Hmm. Should I ask?”
“You can ask, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to tell you,” I flirted, enjoying our playful back and forth way too much. A genuine grin broke out on my lips. Damn, Holden could make me smile so easily. Around him, I seemed to forget about all the shit in my life. Was this what it felt like to be free?
“How about you?” I asked, wanting to take the focus off me. “What made you get into the fitness business?”
He settled further in his seat, completely at ease. “Since Dante and I grew up at a military school, we learned self-defense as far back as I can remember, and I became fascinated with martial arts.”
My eyes widened. “Military school, wow. I can see Dante going to military school, but you seem so laid back.”
A sad expression covered his face. “Yeah, our dad is in the security business and travels a lot, so he sent us somewhere to give us a more stable life. We only stayed with him during the holidays and our summer break.”
Interesting. Although we were from completely different worlds, the three of us had grown up in brick and mortar institutions. I wondered what their mother was like, and how she felt about sending her sons off to be raised by other people.
He shook his head. “We’ve always been active in one way or another. Dante has a business degree, and I went into sports physical rehab. It just made sense that we went into business together by opening a gym. We started out with just athletes but found a way to make our program work for anyone who wanted to live a fit life.” His eyes came to life when he looked at me. “There are a couple guys that instruct the self-defense classes, but that’s my favorite thing to teach. I can show you some moves when you’re ready.”
“That would be great.” I wish I’d known those moves earlier on in my life. I bet I could’ve gotten out of a lot of situations had I known how to protect myself better, how to protect other people better.
It began to lightly drizzle as we got off the freeway, but he didn’t seem daunted. The surrounding area was bland until the ocean appeared, seemingly out of nowhere and took my breath away.
I sat up straight and peered through the lightly spotted window before the wipers cleared away the tiny drops. “Oh my God. It’s so…” Words escaped me. I was in absolute awe.
Holden switched off the music, and the only sound was the clicking of the turn signal and the intermittent swipe of the wipers. My heart pounded as excitement filled my body. All these years…
I watched the dark water ease up to shore then suddenly white foamy waves crashed against the sand. As we turned left, Holden rolled down my window. “Listen to it.”
A cold blast of ocean air smacked me in the face, tossing my hair around, but I welcomed it. Even from the street, I could hear the angry waves as they collided with the earth. I closed my eyes, focusing on the magnificent sound, and breathed in the strong, salty air. When I opened my eyes, we were pulling into a tiny alley lined with two and three-story homes just as one of the garage doors opened.
Confused, I looked at Holden, who was trying not to smile. “What’re we doing here?”
“This is my house.”
We pulled into the garage, next to his International Scout, and I was completely blown away. He’d never told me that he lived right on the beach. Then again, we were still learning about each other, and I hadn’t exactly told him everything yet either. And I probably never will.
“Come on, let’s go in. I’ll show you around, and you can drop your things in the wash right away.” He pointed to the high-tech washer and dryer by the door that I assumed led into the house.
I leaned back, grabbed my bag from behind my seat, and wished I’d packed more than just my work outfits and sweaty gym clothes. Since I had to carry my clothes to and from the laundromat, I normally only washed small batches at a time. There were usually dryers that still had a few minutes left after other people pulled their clothes out and the fewer the clothes I had, the quicker they would dry.
The garage door slowly lowered as I stepped out of the passenger seat. Holden rounded the front of the car and narrowed his eyes at me.
“What?”
He impatiently swished the ring of his keys around his finger. “I was going to get the door for you.”
“Oh. Sorry.” I should’ve been used to that by now. Whenever he drove me anywhere, he was normally at my door before I had a chance to open it.
He stepped closer, leaning in until our bodies were touching, then he swiped my hair behind my shoulders. �
��It’s okay, but I’d like to open your door from now on, okay?”
I felt him leaning in further, and my eyes slipped shut. As his lips made contact with my cheek, I breathed out quietly, “Okay.”
When he placed his hand on my lower back and led me to the machines, I was practically panting. I didn’t even have to look at him to feel his grin. It was pretty obvious that he loved the effect he was having on me.
He set the machine up and waited until I dumped my clothes in before opening the door to the house. “Come on in.” Tossing his keys, wallet, and cell onto a side table, he strolled confidently into his home—his beautiful, breathtaking home.
We were in a small hallway with two doors on either side. Directly in front of us was the living room, and just beyond the opening, I could see huge glass windows and doors that sat no more than twenty feet away from the sand.
He gave me a knowing look. “Now you know why I had to have this house.” He flicked on a few lights since it was starting to get dark.
“Yes. That view is spectacular. Why would you ever leave?” I chuckled as I walked up to the glass, placing my hands on it as I stared out. I could’ve gotten lost in this scene all day.
Snapping out of my trance, I realized I’d left smudges on the window. “Oh shit, I’m sorry.” I pulled my arm through the short sleeve of my shirt and began frantically cleaning the glass.
“Jules, it’s okay,” he laughed. “Don’t worry about it.” Holden placed a calming hand on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry. I used to get in trouble when I was little because I always left handprints on the front room window.” Wow. I hadn’t meant to blurt that out. At least that memory was one of the easier ones. Just one of my shorter stays.
That particular clean freak foster mother had wanted a doll she could dress up and display, not a child. She’d forbid me from playing with the neighborhood kids, so I’d sneak up to the window behind the couch and watch them ride their bikes and play street hockey. When we were in school, the boys always asked why I never came out to play, and after a few snotty girls teased me enough times about it, I stopped watching them. Within a short time, I was relocated. Again.