by K. A. Hunter
A giggle escaped my throat, shocking the hell out of me. The giggly girl in me didn’t make an appearance often, but Holden seemed to find her with no effort.
“So, beautiful, I only have a few hours left with you today. What would you like to do?” He gave me a questioning look as he took a sip of his coffee.
Laying on my stomach, I could feel the tightness in my shoulders relaxing as I stretched and yawned. The door to the balcony was still open, and the sound of the waves floated in. The feel of the cool air and comfort of the bed made me want to stay here and waste the whole day away until something dawned on me. “I think the first order of business is getting my clothes in the dryer. You distracted me last night before I had a chance to do that.” I narrowed my eyes playfully at him.
He laughed and tweaked my nose. “Already done, my dear.” He pointed to my neatly folded stack on top of his dresser.
“Thanks.” I smiled until the aroma from his mug hit me, and I sniffed the air, moaning. I loved the smell of coffee, but since it was a luxury expense, I purposely avoided drinking it. From what I’d seen with other people, it was like crack once your body got used to drinking it regularly.
Holden took another sip. “I remember you saying you didn't drink coffee, but I have juice downstairs if you’d like some.”
“I seem to remember you teasing me about that.” I rolled my eyes. “You know, not everyone’s chasing that caffeine high.”
“True, but I’m sure there are other highs you wouldn’t mind reaching,” he flirted with a sly grin and a wink.
A blush covered my face when the vision of him completely naked came to mind. Then anxiety crept into my subconscious knowing he’d seen me on full display as well, including my scar.
He looked at me suspiciously, but I appreciated that he didn’t point out my sudden mood change. Placing his hand on my back, he made small, comforting circles with his fingertips. “My friend owns an art gallery here in town that I’d love to take you to, if you’re interested.”
My shoulders relaxed again under his touch. “I’d love that.” I hugged the pillow tighter, enjoying the cozy feel of his bed.
He smacked my ass over the blanket, startling me. “Now get out of bed, dress that sexy body of yours, and we’ll go grab some brunch.”
Playing with his bottom lip, Holden watched as I stretched my arms above my head and enjoyed the kick back feel of the café. We sat on the upstairs patio and could see the ocean for miles. “Thanks for letting me sleep in.” I drank the fresh squeezed orange juice I’d ordered with my food. I don’t remember ever having such a restful night’s sleep before.
He braced his forearms on the table. “Pure selfishness on my part. I love having you in my bed, sleeping so peacefully.”
What he called selfishness, I look at as a gift. I’d love to wake up in his bed every day.
“So, you’ve piqued my interest about the whole ‘I didn’t say I couldn’t drive’ comment from yesterday.” He leaned back in his chair, keeping his eyes on mine. “I’d love to know more if you want to tell me.” The hopeful look on his face reassured me. I already knew I could trust him with my past, but it was still a little scary to share. My secrets might be too dark for him to handle. But he’d opened something up inside of me, and I wanted to take a chance.
I swallowed hard, preparing myself for an onslaught of emotions. At least this story was one of my tamer ones. “Something most people don’t know is, when inmates are released from prison, they leave with more money than a child who ages out of the foster care system. As a matter of fact, foster kids aren’t given any money when they are kicked to the curb. The day I graduated from high school, I knew I was leaving the group home with my duffle bag full of clothes and nothing more. I still don’t know how I managed to graduate after bouncing around from one high school to another, but I’d somehow been able to keep my grades up.” And that was something I still took pride in. Getting my diploma had been my shining moment, my one true accomplishment.
The soft look of admiration on his face meant a lot to me, so I continued. “Scott, one of the guys graduating that day, was in the same facility as me. We’d hung out a little bit and would sneak out late at night so he could teach me how to drive. I don’t even want to know where he got the car from. Anyway, he came up to me and asked what my plans were since we were basically in the same boat. I was just going to head back to the facility, maybe snag some food before I had to grab the few clothes I owned and leave.”
I was sure it wasn’t on purpose, but I heard his sigh and paused to look out at the horizon. After a little internal pep talk, I kept going.
“He told me he’d met some guys who were going to let him stay and work with them in Northern California and asked if I wanted to go with him. I knew there would be a hook, but it was my only option.” I looked at my lap and brushed off the crumbs that had fallen on my thigh.
My mind began to race, wondering how many of these stories Holden would be able to handle. Would it get to be too much after a while?
I peeked up at him, and he nodded subtly, encouraging me to finish. I cleared my throat. “As soon as we got there, Scott introduced me as his girlfriend. It pissed me off at first. Until he explained it was to keep the other guys in the house from bothering me. We had to share a room and eventually, we did end up together, but it was more out of convenience than anything else.
“It didn’t take long to find out the real reason we were there. We were illegal street racers, which brought a crapload of money in to the guys we worked for. They stole the cars, and we drove them. It was the stupidest thing, but I’m not gonna lie and say I hated it.” Even talking about it now was giving me a little thrill.
The corner of his lip raised, when he asked, “Did you ever get caught?”
I wanted to laugh. All of this, and his only question was if I ever got busted? “Not for racing.”
With a boyish grin, he admitted, “I may have dabbled in the world of street racing myself a time or two.”
My eyes widened in glee. “No way!”
“Yeah, but I wasn’t as lucky. When I was sixteen, I did get caught, which sucked because Dante had to come get me. My dad was out of the country, and Dante was my only other adult family member.” He made a wry face, lifting his eyebrows playfully.
“Oh, I bet he loved springing ya from the joint.” I winked, giggling out loud. Man, it felt good to joke around with him. With anyone, really.
Twisting a salt shaker in his hand, he sighed. “Let’s just say, I heard about family image for a long time after that. I do have to give him big brother credit, though. He never told Dad.” Putting the salt shaker back in its place, he turned to me and asked, “So what ever happen to Scott?”
I bit the side of my cheek. “I was just about to watch Scott’s race when the cops came barreling toward us. He and the other driver took off, and the rest of us scrambled. At the time, I was in the car Scott legitimately owned and got the hell out of there with a cop on my tail. I knew I’d be in even more trouble if I kept going, so I pulled over a few minutes after I saw the lights and heard the siren. I was charged with a misdemeanor for being a spectator at an illegal race, but I was the lucky one and was only fined for not having a driver’s license.”
His grin grew wider, as if I was telling him about a boyhood fantasy every guy had. “Wait, you were driving without a license that whole time? You didn’t get in more trouble for that?”
“No.” I sighed, knowing the rest of what I had to say would wipe that smile off his face. “The judge took mercy on me.”
“You must’ve had a kick ass lawyer.”
Nodding while looking aimlessly out of the window, I huffed out a breath and shared the shitty end of my story. “I was supposed to be the driver that last run, but Scott begged me to let him go. He insisted he was a better match with the last driver and didn’t trust him not to pull some shit on me because I’m a girl. I finally agreed, and he made me stay in his car while he put a
helmet on to disguise himself. We never wore helmets, so that should’ve sent red flags, but Scott wasn’t much bigger than me, and nobody seemed to be paying attention anyway. Before he got out, he told me he was glad he’d met me, and he couldn’t wait to see what my future held. It was so out of character for him to say something like that.”
Still makes me wonder…
My chest tightened as a single tear fell from the corner of my eye. “Scott and the other driver both crashed their cars and died that night.”
Holden scooted his chair closer to me and held my hands in his. “Jules, I’m sorry.” His eyebrows knitted together, concern covering his face.
“The report said tire tracks confirmed that a third car was involved, but they never located it.” I pulled one of my hands away and wiped the tears that fell before looking around the room to see if anyone was watching us. If they’d noticed me crying, they were being respectful by not staring.
Holden took my hand again as I shrugged my shoulder. “That’s why the judge took mercy on me. My court appointed lawyer told the judge that I’d only been driving because I was trying to stop Scott. After that, I didn’t really care what they did to me.”
His face fell, but I saw no pity, only genuine concern. “What did you do after that?”
“When I was walking out of the courthouse, there was a guy there with my duffle bag, which freaked me out.”
Holden frowned. “Who was the guy? What did he want?”
“Turns out, he was a friend of Scott’s. He wouldn’t tell me much, except that Scott talked to him a few days before the race and gave him instructions to look for me in case there was a problem. He gave me my bag and an envelope with the money Scott and I had been saving up and a note.”
“What did it say?” he asked carefully, almost as if he was ready for me to shut down. But I’d gone this far.
The corners of my mouth lowered as I shook my head. “He said that I was in danger and shouldn’t ever go back to the house. To use the money to get far away and start a new life. What it didn’t say was how he knew something was going to happen, and I’ve racked my brain since, wondering what was going on that I didn’t know.”
I spaced out, still wondering those same questions. “The next day, I jumped on a train and moved back to Pasadena. I’ve been bouncing around from one motel to another, working shitty jobs ever since.” Glorious life, right?
Holden swallowed. “Did anything ever come of the warning?”
“I can only assume he was talking about retaliation from the other street team. They were our only enemies, but since one of them died along with Scott, I figured there wasn’t any revenge to be had. I left town anyway, just in case.” I reached out for my drink. The sweetness of it was a total contrast to my mood. Quietly, I added, “I admit, I do sometimes feel like I’m being watched. I’m sure it’s just my paranoia, though.”
“When do you feel that?” His body went somewhat stiff, and he intently peered at my face, as if he was searching for answers. It was like a trigger had gone off in his head that shit just got real, and he needed information pronto.
But I didn’t want him to worry about me. Nonchalantly, I pushed a few stray hairs behind my ear. “I don’t know, just here and there. When I’m walking somewhere or when I’m at the library. I’m sure it’s just my imagination. I mean, if they wanted to do something to me, they already would’ve. It’s not like I’m hiding, out of reach.”
We sat in comfortable silence for a while as he rubbed his thumb back and forth across my knuckles. “I can help you, Jules. Please let me.”
I shook my head, needing him to understand. “That’s exactly why I haven’t said anything. I need to figure this stuff out on my own. I can’t let you sweep me up and take care of me.”
He huffed through his nose. “Why not?”
The waitress chose that moment to come by. “Can I get you anything else?”
Holden shot her a dirty look, surprising me. “No, just the check thank you.”
Without another word, she dropped it off, then rolled her eyes as she turned and sauntered away. Earlier she’d looked at him like she wanted to eat him rather than serve him, which had bugged me, so I wasn’t heartbroken that she now thought he was a dick.
“Please give me one good reason why I can’t help you.” His pleading tone was getting to me.
“Because I don’t function that way,” I said, getting defensive. “I have to look out for myself. I always have.”
A spark of anger flashed in his eyes as if I was just being a stubborn child. “But I care about you, Jules. You’re not alone anymore, and you deserve a fresh start.”
I took a deep breath, speaking calmly but firmly. “I care about you, too, but that doesn’t matter when it comes to earning my way. It’s just a part of who I am. Holden, I’m not one of your broken souls. Be my friend, support me, and give me advice when I ask, but don’t treat me like one of your clients. Please understand.” I tacked on that last part to lessen the severity of my words. Hopefully, he wouldn’t take it as a total rejection.
He leaned back in his chair, frustrated. “Jules, we are friends. That’s why I want to help.” He sat there for a moment, bobbing his knee, clearly lost in thought. “How about a compromise? What if you got a job out here?” He motioned around. “And you can pay me whatever you can afford. My house is paid off, so whatever you want to pay is fine.”
Wait. Is he inviting me to live with him? He must be insane.
I began to shake my head before he ranted on, “Come on, Jules, think about it. You would have your own bedroom, I wouldn’t expect anything from you, roomie.” That heartwarming smile of his made its appearance, like he was trying to buy me with it. “I can help you figure out your license issues, and you can borrow the International to get around. If you want to go to school, I can help you look into that, too.” He lifted his hands up. “Totally up to you.”
Was this really happening? How had I gone from leaving my shitty motel yesterday morning to now being offered to stay in a million dollar, oceanside home?
There was no way I could accept it. It wouldn’t last. Holden would get sick of me, find out all my secrets and be disgusted.
I looked out of the window once more before blinking hard. “No,” I said softly.
His shoulders sagged, and I found myself wanting to comfort him. Maybe there was a way. Maybe I could accept. Maybe…
Not yet, though. I needed to pacify him until I had time to process all of this. “How about if we just leave things the way they are today, and I’ll think about it.”
He seemed somewhat pacified. “Okay, but now that I’ve made the offer, I’m not going to drop it. There are no strings attached, I promise.”
That I believed. But what if I wanted strings? I eyed him for a moment. “I come with a lot of baggage, Holden.” I had to warn him.
He raised his eyebrows like it was no big deal. “I’m just looking for someone to make me dinner here and there. Maybe throw in a load of clothes occasionally.” At that, his silly grin returned. Damn, he was cute when he wanted to get his way.
Well, he was gorgeous all the time really.
Closing one eye, I offered a tiny smile. “I thought you said no strings.”
“Okay, so maybe just the dinner,” he said sheepishly. “I really like baked pasta dishes, by the way.” He winked, attempting to make me laugh.
Flicking my wrist, I smacked his hard abs and fought the urge to let my hand linger.
He stood and stretched his arms above his head before grabbing my hand and helping me up. “Let’s get out of here and hit the art gallery so I can show off my future roommate.”
I sort of hated how much I liked the way that sounded, but it made me smile nonetheless.
Wrapping his arm around my shoulders, he led us out of the cafe and onto the breezy sidewalk.
My mind was buzzing. His offer was tempting. More than tempting. I was barely making it on my own, and there weren’t any signs
that things were going to get better. And it wasn’t like he was suggesting I get a free ride. This could be my last break at making something of my life. Coming home to him every day would just be a bonus.
By the time we reached the gallery, I found myself wanting to say yes, wanting to give in.
Would it be so wrong?
Standing in the middle of the bedroom, I took a look around as I pulled my work shirt over my just showered, wet hair. Could I really take Holden up on his offer? I turned to see the ocean view through the window for the umpteenth time since we got here yesterday. Biting my nail, I calculated how much money I had in my bag and how much my check was going to be on Friday.
I wondered how difficult it would be to take the bus from here to the bar until I found another place to work in the area. Certainly, no tears would be shed if I had to leave my job for another one by the beach.
As I moved around the room, I started to get excited about the possibility of living here in Holden’s guest bedroom. I ran my hand across the soft comforter when he yelled from the top of the stairs, “Hey, Jules, Dante’s been blowing up my cell. When the phone rings downstairs, will you tell him I’ll call him back? I’ve gotta shower right now if we’re going to get you to work on time.”
My skin tingled as I envisioned him standing upstairs, butt ass naked, ready to jump in the shower. I wished I had the confidence to call in sick and join him. The reality was that I needed tonight’s wages and tips so I could pay for a few more nights at the motel while I considered his offer.
“Sure!” I yelled back, almost laughing when I heard the ringing from the first floor. Dante sure was persistent.
I bounced down the stairs, carefree, but was a little out of breath when I finally made it to the kitchen and looked at the caller ID. “Hey, Dante,” I puffed out, thinking about how natural it felt to be a part of this home, then remembered how humiliating my last interaction with Dante had been.
Clearing my throat, I held the phone between my ear and shoulder as I began to nervously pick at my cuticles. “Um...Holden said he’ll...uh, call you back when he gets out of the shower.”