Every evening Quinn cooked me dinner, and we would eat together while watching a movie. The night always ended with a simple goodbye kiss. That was as far as I pushed her. We had spent a lot of time together, but our conversations had never gotten personal. We needed to talk about the baby and our future. Our plans. I’d been holding off on talking with my publicist until we decided what we were going to do.
“I think it’s about time we come up with a plan of action,” I told her as we ate.
“What type of plan?”
“Well, what we’re going to do for one. How are we going to raise this baby? Are we going to live together or are you staying here? Do you need any money?”
“Do we have to talk about this now?” She took a few bites of her food and pretended to be engrossed in it. “I mean we’ve got plenty of time to work out the details, so let’s just enjoy what we have now.”
Something in the tone of her voice, her body language, seemed as if she was pushing me away. She didn’t want to commit, I understood that, but that was supposed to be my role not hers.
“Are you at least going to quit your job?” I asked.
“No, why would I do that? I need to save up money. Babies are expensive.”
I sighed loudly and put my hands on the side of my head. Why wouldn’t she let me help?
“I’ve got plenty of money.” My entire body tightened up. She wasn’t planning on letting me help at all. I was the father. I was supposed to be there for everything, not abandon my family the way my own father had.
“I know but I want to be able to have my own money, just in case.”
“Just in case what?” I snapped.
She pushed her plate away from her and leaned back against her chair. “Just in case you decide to leave me.”
“Why would you even think that I’d leave you?”
“Look. We barely know each other, who’s to say you won’t find someone better tomorrow? I can’t compare to all of those Hollywood starlets. What if you decide that you don’t want to be around me?” By the time she finished talking her voice dropped to almost a whisper.
“Quinn, I would never leave you.” I reached out to put my hand on the back of her head and forced her to make eye contact with me. “Even if things don’t work out between us, I’ll still be here. Can’t you just agree to trust me?”
She gave me a faint smile; one that I didn’t see often.
“Thanks, I really needed to hear that.”
“Sure thing, listen anytime you start to have doubts all you need to do is talk to me. We are in this together now.”
“Really?”
“Damn fuckin’ straight, plus, I would never compare you to those other girls. You’re in a whole other league.”
“You’re sweet. Not what I expected at all.”
“Let me guess. You thought I was self-centered, arrogant, and a huge man-whore.”
“Yup.”
“I was, but I’m trying to be better than that.”
“Good.”
I let her finish the rest of her food in peace before we went into the living room to watch a movie. She didn’t invite me upstairs, and I wasn’t about to push my luck with her. As always, I’d be pacified with the living room cuddle up for now. I couldn’t pay attention to the screen though. All I could think about was her warm body next to mine. The way her head fit perfectly in my shoulder. It was like we were two puzzle pieces perfectly matched.
“Do you work tomorrow?” I asked her halfway through.
“No, I’m off tomorrow.”
“I’ve been looking into buying a house for some time now. I would love it if you would join me tomorrow with my realtor. My loft is way too small for a baby.”
She hesitated before replying. “Will the paparazzi be following you?”
I shrugged. They lined the outside of the nightclubs trying to capture a shot of whoever came out, but other than that, they were never around. “I seriously doubt it. We’ll be visiting private properties anyway. Do they scare you?”
She curled in closer to me. “Last week, Ginger and I were out shopping and someone must have tipped them off. When we left, they surrounded us. I don’t like large crowds.” She squirmed a bit. “They were swarming us from all sides.”
“Well, my dear, Hollywood life is definitely out of your future,” I said with huge dramatics and put my hands to my cheeks in shock.
She rolled her eyes and hit me in the shoulder. She winces at the impact. Grabbing her hand, I ran my fingers over her scratched up palm.
“Did they hurt you?” I place a kiss on it.
“It’s nothing. Some guy knocked over in all the excitement.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me! Did you go to the doctor?”
“It’s just a scratch from the sidewalk. Nothing is broken.”
I take a deep breath to control the blood pumping through my veins. “If you say so.”
She pulled her hand back. “Where are you looking to buy anyway?”
“Beverly Hills. I’m a sucker for gorgeous views, or maybe Calabasas.” I wiggled my eyebrows at her, which only made her laugh more. I liked it when she wasn’t so tense. Maybe I could break down some more of her walls.
“You really want to live so close to…that life?”
“What?”
“Big mansions next to big celebrities. Wouldn’t you want to find something more low key?”
“I hadn’t ever thought about it.” I ran my fingers along my chin in thought. Maybe living somewhere a bit more low key would protect my privacy better.
“It was just a thought. By the way, I have a doctor’s appointment next week. If you want to come along,”
Sighing, I sat up straighter and rubbed the back of my neck. I wanted to be there, but scheduling conflicts had me in New York for the next few weeks for a film.
“I can’t,” I told her with a sympathetic face.
“No problem. It’s not an important one anyway.” Her face turned red from embarrassment, and she waved her hand as if she didn’t care. It must have taken a lot of courage for her to ask me. I didn’t want her to close up again.
“I want to be there, I promise, but I’ll be filming in New York starting next week and it will be, like, eighteen hour days. I doubt I’ll have time to fly back,” I explained.
She gave me the cutest little smile of relief, which made me reach out to stroke the side of her face. Her skin was smooth like porcelain, so fragile. I understood why she kept me at a distance; my past wasn’t something I was proud of. Yet she knew all about it, it was her past that had me curiously clawing for details. Why did she move so far from home with no job or plan in mind? What happened to her ex-boyfriend? He had died, but it wasn’t my place to ask why and she had never offered up the information.
“When are you going to tell me what you’re running from?” I whispered into her ear. She turned to me, her eyes cold. She looked distant as if she were no longer here with me.
“Let’s enjoy what we have right now and leave the past behind us. I don’t bug you about all those girls you were with so give me the same respect,” she snapped. I moved back away from her on the couch.
“Sorry, didn’t realize that was such a touchy subject.”
“Well it is.”
Normally I would have let my temper get the best of me. I would have said and done some hurtful things. However, there was something inside of me that ached, something that longed to save her from whatever demons she hid.
“And when you decide to let me in, I’ll be here.” I leaned forward and grabbed her hand.
She bit her lip, her eyes full of curiosity. “People always leave,” she stated before turning back towards the TV.
I didn’t know what she meant, but deep inside someone had hurt her more than she liked to let on. I could be the one to show her commitment. I would never be my father. I wouldn’t walk out on my family when things got rough. I had to convince her to rely on me.
By the time the cr
edits started rolling on the screen; Quinn was passed out on my lap. Her breathing was steady and her hair fell softly around her face. I picked her up and carefully carried her up the stairs. Having her in my arms reminded me of our first night together and it took all my self-control not to kiss her.
I wasn’t certain which room was hers, but I found a room with the door open. I noticed her work uniform on the floor by her dresser, so I walked over to the bed. She whimpered as I set her down, but didn’t stir. Her huge shirt had ridden up to reveal her long creamy legs, which were getting tanner from the California sun. I couldn’t see the baby bump yet.
I pressed my hand to the warmth of her stomach. It was in there, a baby that belonged to us both. It was an incredible miracle that I couldn’t even begin to fathom. I could do it. I could be a better man for them both. There was no doubt that when I put my mind to something, I finished it. Even though she was sleeping soundly, I bent down to place a small kiss right underneath her belly button. I lingered for just a moment, feeling her stomach more with each breath. Moving my hand from her stomach, I went to cover her up with her blanket. Suddenly, she reached out to stop me. She peered up at me with heavy eyelids while her hand gripped me tightly.
“Don’t go,” she whispered hoarsely. She pulled me down to her, and I happily obliged. Putting a hand on each side of her, I crawled in between her legs and nestled myself on top of her.
“I never thought I would feel this way about someone,” I told her. She put her finger up to my lips and pressed against them softly.
“Shhh…don’t talk. Just feel me.”
She reached down to pull my shirt off.
Oh shit. This is gonna happen. Really happen.
After three months of cold showers and dreaming of her every night, I would once again get to be inside of her. As my shirt hit the floor, I briefly closed my eyes and groaned.
She ran her fingers up my biceps and pulled my head down to her warm lips. She tasted sweet, like an incredible wine that made me drunk. I wanted to taste all of her. Forever. She pushed me up while her hands moved to my belt, slowly unhooking it, and pushing my pants down to the ground. I stepped out of them but still careful not to take my eyes off her. Locked in a gaze, each trying to read the other person’s mind. Who would be the one to stop it? Who would be the one to start begging first?
Finally I spoke, “Are you sure, Quinn? I sure as hell hope so because I can’t turn back now.”
She didn’t answer me, but didn’t stop me either as my hands slid down her hips. I slowly pulled her black lace panties over her thighs and off her ankles. My eyes took her in, all spread out on the bed for me. I needed to show her, prove to her, that I was there for the long run. Showing her with my body felt like the best way to do that, it was the only way I knew how to do things.
Bending down and starting at her ankle, I made a trail of kisses up her leg. Each part of her was flawless, as if she were perfectly made for my eyes only. The higher my kisses moved, the quicker her breathing became. By the time my head nestled in between her thighs, she was practically begging me to touch her. I reached out to steady her trembling legs.
“I- I,” she stuttered, unsure of how far I would take this.
“Just relax and let me show you. Trust me with your body as well as your heart.”
She propped her upper body up with her elbows, and her dark hair fell across her face. She nodded but didn’t say a word.
Satisfied with her answer, I used my tongue to slowly bring her to the brink of ecstasy. I used her moaning as a guideline, and she tasted just as sweet as I’d imagined. Her hands pulled on my hair and her hips moved against my face. When she locked her ankles around my neck, I stopped what I was doing to look at her. I wanted to see the pleasure on her face, the emotion that she trusted me with. I didn’t go down on girls often, mainly because I was a selfish lover, but right now all I wanted was to make her scream my name. I wanted to give her all the pleasures in the world.
“Right now,” she panted. “I need you right now.” That was all it took for me to break free of her death grip and flip onto my back bringing her up with me so that she sat on my hips. I bucked up against her weight in anticipation.
“Wait, condom,” I told her, as I reached out for my pants by the bed.
“I’m already pregnant,” she reminded me.
“Oh, yeah.”
“I haven’t been with anyone else. Have you?”
I hesitated before answering her question. With my foggy head, now was not the right time to be having a Q &A. I’d been with girls, plenty of girls, but only to get her out of my head.
“Never mind, don’t answer that,” she mumbled.
“I’ve never had unprotected sex,” I said. It was the truth with the exception of Quinn.
Quinn smirked and gave me a quick squeeze before guiding me inside of her. The moment her heat and wetness engulfed me, it shot my senses. I could hear her moans, feel her riding me, taste her on my tongue, and smell her on my lips. She was everywhere. A million times better than the first time, and I was certain that her impact on me was more than physical. She was my missing piece. The only girl to catch my attention and make my heart beat. This would be over quickly, and I could only pray I could hold off long enough to watch her finish.
I grabbed her hips and bit down on my lip as she moved up and down. Her hips rolled in a figure eight almost making me come, but the sound of her sighing was enough to hold out. This was about her, not me. She deserved so much more than a quick fuck against a fence. She deserved someone who could make love to her like she deserved. I ran my hands up her body, memorizing every inch of her softness.
Her pace quickened before her fingers clawed needlessly at my chest. I made sure to keep my eyes open. I could see enough of her from the bright city lights outside to know she was enjoying herself. She was almost there, and as her muscles tightened around me, I joined her. Crying out with her as we both accepted the waves of pleasure.
“You’re absolutely immaculate,” I told her in between breaths as I slipped out of her. She leaned forward to rest her head on my shoulder. Our bodies aligned together tightly. Her heartbeat pounded roughly against mine like some sort of mating call. After a minute, she scooted off me and curled up against my left side.
“You can save me,” she whispered. I brought my hands up to stroke the side of her face. Save her? If this girl needed anything, wanted for anything, I would do it. Though it pained me that she felt as if she even needed saving, it was the undeniable truth. I would do anything for Quinn Bardot.
Chapter Nine
Quinn
Once again, the familiar coldness has numbed my body from head to toe. I look out into the dark waters that surround me. There is someone out there, but I can’t make out a face. My dark hair floats in front of my eyes so I reach out to push it away. I am unsuccessful because everything is still hazy. I have dreamed this scene thousands of times before, but this time it is different. There is no pain, only numbness.
I reach out with my fingers towards the body floating closer. Bash. I recognize his large stature and his blue and white letterman jacket. By the time he floats to me, and my fingers grab at his jacket to pull him closer, his eyes have turned lifeless. Void of awareness. Void of my attempt to save him. I want to scream, but the second I open my mouth I know I will breathe and the inevitable pain will fill my lungs. I am afraid of the pain so I hold it in and concentrate on my surroundings.
Bash is heavy, weighing over 100 lbs. more than me and I can feel the two of us sinking toward the bottom of the lake. I’m suffocating. Dying with my love in my arms.
I look up. There is a light somewhere in the distance and I want to swim toward it, but I know I can’t carry Bash up with me. I kick my legs and arms to try and take us to the surface but we still sink. My black dress has snagged on the buttons of his jacket and we both descend deeper in the darkness. Air. I need air. My lungs are begging for it. I pull Bash closer to my body and await t
he inevitable pain. The pain I deserve.
“Quinn….” The voice is in my head, but it awakens my senses. I can hear it, feel it. I want it.
“Quinn… Let him go. Let him go,” it says again.
Using the last bit of my energy, I open my eyes and look up towards the light. The surface.
“Let him go.” I recognize the voice now. It’s Chase. Is he here? I need to save Chase too. I can’t let him drown with me.
“Let him go, Quinn.”
I instinctively let go of Bash and look around for Chase. Where is he? I struggle to tear my dress from Bash’s jacket and then I kick and move my legs to make it to the light. He has to be up there, but something keeps pulling me down. By the time I realize it’s Bash, my lungs are burning. His jacket is still snagged on my dress, and I can’t break free. We hit the bottom of the lake and the light becomes but a distant glow. Bash floats on top of me, trapping me between the ground and him. He shouldn’t be this heavy in the water, but I can’t get him to budge.
“Quinn!”
I want to live. I want to let it all go, but I can’t. I hate Bash. I hate what he has done to me with his selfishness. I open my mouth to scream, but all that comes out are gurgles of my remaining breath.
“No!” I try and scream before the burning pain fills my lungs.
Chase
“Quinn!” I shook her frantically, but she still flailed her arms and legs under the sheets. No matter how hard I shook her, she wouldn’t wake up. I turned on the lamp beside her bed so I could get a good look at her. I put my hand on her cheek and lightly smacked her, trying to get her to regain consciousness, but no matter what I did, she was still stuck in her nightmare.
“Bash…” She mumbled faintly.
Bash? Her ex-boyfriend? Why was she dreaming about him? Moreover, why did she sound so scared? With the rest of my determination, I roughly grabbed her by the arms and sat her up. Something wasn’t right so I shook her harder. I put my hand to her chest. Her heart was beating rapidly but I was pretty sure she wasn’t breathing. As my eyes adjusted to the faint light, I looked at her closer. Yes, her lips were turning blue. She wasn’t breathing.
The Last Thing Page 11