He looks at me with a touch of sadness. “Maybe.”
“Why don’t you sound like you believe me?”
“Think about it. When will I ever meet anyone else with whom I can share my family’s secret?”
I hadn’t thought of it that way, and I scramble for something to say. “I never thought I’d find anyone to share my secrets with either, but I did. And in the most unexpected place.”
Rule glances at the cottage. “How does that work anyway?”
“Keller isn’t like other hunters. I mean, he’s good at what he does, but he’s not blind to shades of gray. At least not anymore.”
“Seems like everything we’ve ever believed is being turned on its head.”
“You can say that again.”
“Seems like everything—” Before he can finish repeating himself, I punch him playfully in the arm. Rule laughs. “We should go back inside before hunter boy decides he needs to hunt me.”
I grab Rule’s hand and hold it between mine. “Seriously, Rule, thank you for everything. When I left my coven, I wanted a normal life with normal friends. But there was this part of me that didn’t really believe it would happen.”
“Well, if you look around we’re not really all that normal. You’ve got a hunter, a girl with pink in her hair who has the serious hots for a witch, and a witch with no powers.”
I smile at him. “Sounds like the perfect friends to me.”
“Everyone’s great, yada, yada, yada,” Egan says as he appears suddenly on the path to the cottage. “Come inside so I only have to say this once.”
Worry spikes in me as I follow Egan inside, Rule close on my heels. “What’s wrong?”
“I’ve been watching the online chatter in the hunter community the past several days, and today when I checked my normal sources there’s nothing. It’s gone stone cold quiet.”
“That’s good, right?” Rule asks. “You don’t want hunters after you.” He glances at Keller like there’s a part of him that still didn’t trust Keller.
“No, it’s not good. It means something’s up,” Egan says.
“They know you’re watching them,” Toni says.
Egan doesn’t even look at her. “They at least suspect they might be watched, so they’re not taking chances.”
“You think this means they know where we are?” I ask.
“We’ll know soon enough. Which means all of you need to clear out of here.” He points at Keller and Rule and makes a vague gesture in Toni’s direction.
“You know, that line’s getting mighty damned old,” Toni says as she stands.
Egan’s anger flares as he spins toward Toni. “Well, I’m going to keep saying it until it sinks into that thick skull of yours.”
Instead of making her angry, his words make Toni smile. I know what Toni’s thinking, that if Egan didn’t care about her he wouldn’t be pushing so hard for her to leave for a safer locale.
“You two have to accept that we’re not going anywhere,” Keller says. He glances at Rule. “Neither is Rule, evidently. And I think we’ve proven that we can find you if you pull a Houdini again. So let’s just accept we’re all here for the long haul and figure out what we’re going to do to prepare.”
“Well, you can call your pops and ask him what the hell is going on,” Egan says.
“Since you asked so nicely.”
Egan flips Keller the bird as Keller reaches for his new cell phone.
“Classy.” Phone in hand, Keller heads to Egan’s bedroom and shuts the door.
Rule sinks onto the couch next to Toni where he’d been sitting when Keller and I returned from the cemetery. Egan’s jaw goes rigid, but instead of saying something he stalks into the kitchen and grabs a Dr. Pepper from the fridge.
I follow him. “Careful. You clench your jaw any harder, and you’ll break your perfect teeth.”
He shoots me an annoyed look then glances toward the living room. “What, Rule figured out he can’t have you so he’s moving on to the next girl he sees?”
“What do you care? You obviously don’t want her anymore.”
Egan growls under his breath. “Don’t be stupid.”
This time, it’s my anger that flares to life. “Don’t be an ass.”
He doesn’t look comfortable talking honestly about his feelings, but they spill out anyway. “You know how hard this is for me.”
“Because you love her.”
“Yes, damn it. Because I love her.”
“You know she’s not going to leave. You might as well give in.”
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
“Because if she dies I won’t be able to handle it,” he says, pain written across his face. “I’ll lose my grip on anything good in myself.”
“You don’t know that.”
He meets my eyes with a look so intense it shakes me all the way through. “I do. Can you stand there and tell me the same thing wouldn’t happen to you if Keller were killed?”
The very thought makes my heart squeeze with a pain so real it causes me to gasp.
“That’s what I thought.” Without another word, Egan stalks out the back door.
For a long time, I just stare at the space where he’d stood, wondering if he’s right. If I lose Keller, will I go so dark that even my coven will pale in comparison?
Chapter Eight
Footsteps approach the kitchen. By their weight on the floor, I know it’s not one of the guys. When I finally turn around, Toni is standing at the entrance to the room. Her normally messy-styled hair lies flat, and the pink streak is fading away.
“He’s not going to change his mind, is he?” she asks.
I don’t have the heart to lie to Toni. “I’d like to think he will, but I honestly don’t know.”
Toni looks so deflated, so different from how she looked earlier, that I want to take her in my arms and promise everything will work out. Only I can’t promise that, not when I’m not even sure if any of us will survive another month, another week, another day.
“Part of me thinks I should have listened to you back when you warned me about him when we met, but there’s a much bigger part that isn’t sorry about one moment I’ve spent with Egan,” Toni says. “Even if he never says a nice word to me again.”
“Oh, Toni.”
“No, that’s not me being pathetic. I’m just grateful that I’ve known what that feels like, being crazy in love.” She says it as if she’ll never experience that feeling again, and that makes me so angry that I want to hunt Egan down and smack some sense into him.
Yes, being around Toni and Keller puts them in danger. But Keller also seems to help me keep a grip on my new power. And don’t we all deserve a moment of pure happiness if our time is short?
Before I try to figure out what to say, how to make everything better, Toni gives me a sad smile and walks away.
I wait in the kitchen a couple more minutes, feeling like the literal weight of the world is sitting on my shoulders. When I finally wander into the living room, Keller is just coming out of the bedroom.
“Did you reach your dad?” I ask.
He nods, and from the tight look on his face, it wasn’t a pleasant conversation. “Where’s Egan?”
“As far away from me as possible,” Toni says as she shoves more popcorn in her mouth.
Keller’s hands tighten into fists.
I catch his gaze and shake my head. He doesn’t look happy about it, but he lets the topic drop.
“Dad says he thinks something big is up, but he doesn’t know what. Seems word has gotten around that his son is friendly with witches.”
“He’s been cut out?” I ask.
“Some places. He still has some feelers out with a couple of his long-time hunting buddies. He says he’ll let me know if he finds out anything.”
“What about the other issue?”
“What other issue?” Toni asks.
“Sarah and Amanda aren’t hunters, at least not to my dad�
��s knowledge,” Keller says.
Rule turns in his seat, his eyes wider than normal. “Sarah Davenport.”
“What?” I ask.
“I just remembered, her last name is Davenport.”
We all stare stunned for several moments.
“A fact she neglected to mention,” Keller says.
“I think we just got our answer about whether she’s a member of the Bane.”
Now I just have to figure out exactly what I’m going to do about it.
When I emerge from my bedroom before dawn the next morning after having a nightmare about that night at Shiprock, one in which I didn’t defeat my coven, I find Egan at the kitchen table drinking coffee and eating a huge bear claw. “Caffeine and copious amounts of sugar. I see you’re starting your day off healthy.”
He lifts his half-eaten pastry. “Breakfast of champions.”
I roll my eyes then cross to the sink and pour myself a glass of water. “So, you here to stay now, or are you going to pull another disappearing act as soon as Toni gets up?”
He tosses down his bear claw. “We have so many bigger things to worry about. Why are you on my case about this?”
“Because you’re hurting her.”
“Good. Maybe she’ll leave.”
I take a long drink of water then start a pot of coffee to give myself time to come up with something to say that doesn’t sound bitchy. “I don’t think so. She’s stubborn, and tougher than you know.”
“And I can be a real ass. Trust me, she’ll leave at some point.”
I turn toward Egan. “Is that really what you want?”
He meets my eyes. “Yes.”
I see that part of him believes this, but he also can no longer hide his feelings from me. There is longing there, desire, heartache. I don’t miss the brief glance he spares the bedroom door behind which Toni still sleeps.
“Then you should leave,” I say.
He jerks his gaze back to me. “You want to go?”
“Not me. You.”
“Well, that’s just stupid. Our odds of surviving together are pretty low, so you by yourself would be virtually nonexistent.”
I lift and wiggle my fingers. “I’m a big, bad white witch, remember?”
“Even if you are, you’re about as stable as a war-torn country.”
I place my hands on my hips. “You’re right, you can be an ass.”
“It’s the truth, and you know it,” he says, not backing down.
“And I’ve found a way to control my new power levels.”
“How?”
“Keller. For some reason, when my dark magic starts bubbling to the surface, he can touch me, and it calms.”
“So, what, he’s the witch whisperer now?”
“I don’t know why or how it works, but it does. And as much as I want to keep him safe, this might be the key to everything. If I can access my full magical potential without worrying about losing control, I have to consider having him be right in the thick of things.” I catch Egan’s gaze and hold it. “Toni might be able to do the same for you.”
“No.”
“Don’t dismiss it without even thinking about it.”
Egan shoves to his feet and walks several steps away from me. “This isn’t your decision to make.” He shakes his head. “And I can’t believe after we left Baker Gap to protect them that you suddenly want to put them on the front lines of whatever crapstorm is heading our way.”
“I don’t want to, but I may end up doing a lot of things I don’t want to so that we can get rid of the coven threat.”
He shakes his head again, looking disgusted.
“What if we’re more powerful together than apart?”
“Do you really think that could possibly be true?”
“Maybe.”
The far bedroom door opens before we come to any sort of agreement. Keller steps out in just a pair of jeans, his chest bare. Despite the seriousness of our current situation and my tense conversation with Egan, my heart rate accelerates at the sight.
“Everything okay out here?” Keller asks as he walks toward us.
“We were just discussing whether or not Egan should leave if he’s going to continue to treat Toni like he doesn’t care.”
“That’s not all we were discussing,” Egan says, irritated.
“Toni would do it, you know,” Keller says, letting us know he’d heard our conversation. “If you stick around.”
Egan throws up his hands. “I’m not going anywhere, not until this is all over.” He glances up at me then Keller. “And evidently no one else is either. Can’t say that makes us the brightest bunch ever to walk the earth.”
I sense a lessening of Egan’s resistance, and it gives me hope. But as I look at Keller, and a wave of love for him hits me, I wonder if I’m making a mistake. Maybe Egan is the smarter of us to want to protect those we love at all cost, even our own heartache and loneliness. I hate feeling pulled in two directions.
I shake my head, trying to clear the doubts. I have to play this one day at a time, one strategic decision at a time based on what little information I have. I want to think that if and when things become too dangerous for Keller, Toni and even Rule and his family that I can make the tough decision to leave them again, even if it makes them hate me. But I know it may not be that simple this time. My stomach knots at the thought that I may have to put Keller in mortal danger so that I can do what is necessary to save the world from the covens’ wrath.
Toni trudges out of the bedroom in her pajama pants and a Battlestar Galactica T-shirt that has “So say we all” written across the front. It’s a departure from her Whedon collection, but somehow it fits this morning. We need to stop arguing and avoiding each other and work together. I worry though as Toni heads for the coffeepot without a word, her hair sticking out in all directions. She hasn’t even tried to look nice before Egan sees her.
Oddly enough I sense a well of affection rise up in him as he watches her. It’s the first time since Keller and Toni’s arrival in Salem that she’s ignored him, and he hasn’t been able to take his eyes off her.
No one says anything until Toni pours herself a cup of coffee and takes a seat at the table opposite where Egan is standing. When she finally looks up, she’s all business. Her lack of normal Toni pep breaks my heart, but maybe the stress of not knowing what the covens are doing or when they might show up here has changed us all. As I think about it, I realize it’s true. We’re all different, harder than we were only a few short weeks ago when we became a foursome.
“So, what’s the plan of attack for today?” Toni asks.
Everyone looks at me, and in that moment I actually feel like a leader. “Divide and conquer,” I say. “Toni, I’d like you to help Rule and his family continue researching. We need the names of those other girls who disappeared after the trials, any other information you can find about the Bane. Egan, find out everything you can about the Davenport family in this area.”
“What about you?” Egan asks.
“Surveillance. Before I confront Sarah, I want to watch what she does and where she goes. Maybe it will lead us to some answers, like if there are other Bane members, and if we can trust them.”
“I’ll go with you,” Keller says. “It’s what I do—track, observe, and eliminate threats if necessary.”
Is it wrong that I find him really hot right now?
Egan looks from Keller to Toni and back. “There’s really no chance of us getting you two to steer clear of this mess?”
“Nope,” Toni says.
Keller leans back in his chair. “Even if I didn’t have this strange ability to temper Jax’s power, I’d still stay. You’re not the only ones who need to be a part of this fight. It’s not just your lives that are affected by the covens. Every single person in the world is in danger if they’re not stopped. Have been for hundreds of years. You can either let us work with you, really work with you, or we’re going to work on it on our own.”
Egan makes a disgusted sound, but I keep staring at Keller. It hits me, right in my center, that he’s right. How would I feel if I put my fate in someone else’s hands, someone I loved, and let him take all the risk while I stayed hidden in relative safety? I lived too long with my destiny in the hands of others, and it was stifling. How can I ask Keller, Toni, anyone to do the same?
“You’re right,” I say. I don’t know if I’ll feel the same way if Keller’s in true danger, but for now I’m going to try to respect his wish to have a hand in his own destiny.
Egan sighs.
“They have the right to make their own decisions,” I say.
“Even if those decisions get them killed.”
“Yes. Are we any different? We could die same as them. In fact, the covens are more likely to kill us than people who can do them no harm.” I know Keller would like to argue that point, about him not being able to make a dent in the covens’ armor, but he doesn’t say so now.
Egan paces toward the front door then back. “If we’re preparing for a real battle, everyone needs training. Serious training.”
“I agree,” Keller says. “It just so happens, I came prepared.”
For the first time in what seems like forever, I see Egan smile. “Take some of Papa Dawes’ arsenal?”
“Nope. Brought my own.”
Egan laughs. “Now we’re talking.”
By the time Keller and I head out to watch Sarah’s movements, Egan has provided us with some background information including her address and the fact that she’s not married and has no children.
“Not exactly a good way to keep the family line going,” I say as we walk toward Keller’s truck.
“I’m guessing there’s not an online dating site for witches.” Keller’s words are so like Rule’s that I realize all over again how lucky I am to have found Keller.
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