by Radclyffe
"Only when I'm not thinking with my head," Cam murmured, feeling herself fall into those eyes.
Blair smiled, smoothing her hand down Cam's chest and hooking her fingers under the waistband of her trousers. She tugged lightly and replied, "Well then, hopefully we can count on that kind of problem fairly often."
"Apparently that would be the case," Cam said, resisting the urge to slip her hands under Blair's T-shirt. If she did that, she wouldn't stop until she had her again, right there on the spot. She kissed her once, hard and sure, and then pulled away. As she stepped through the door, she said briskly, "I'll see you shortly then, Ms. Powell."
"Certainly, Commander," Blair called after her, lingering just a moment to watch her walk down the hall. Then she closed the door and went to prepare herself.
*****
Blair sat at the long console table in loose cotton pants and an open-collared, pale blue linen shirt, flanked by Mac and Felicia Davis. Partially full styrofoam cups of coffee, long cold, sat interspersed with keyboards, headsets, and monitors. She stretched and sighed.
"Tired?" a familiar deep voice asked from behind her.
So quickly she might have imagined it if her skin hadn't begun to tingle, Blair felt the fleeting brush of fingers across her arm. She slowly turned her chair and glanced up at Cam. She smiled softly. "A little."
"Why don't all of you take a break," Cam said to the three of them. "I'll have one of the FBI people watch the incomings for a few hours."
"What did Agent Ryan say our approach should be?" Blair asked, ignoring the suggestion to leave. She, Mac and Felicia Davis had been alternating breaks and she was fine. "We should have contact any time. It's been almost twenty-four hours."
"She said it was time to push," Cam reported almost reluctantly. What the profiler had in fact said was that they were running out of time. Ryan anticipated that he would make another strike imminently. His pattern suggested an extremely low tolerance level that was rapidly deteriorating. Since Blair had not been outside the building in over seventy-two hours, he was completely cut off from her. If Blair didn't engage him verbally, he was very likely to take action and Lindsey admitted that she had no idea what form that attack might take.
Cam studied Blair, acutely aware of the faint circles under her eyes and the weary set to her shoulders. She wanted to tell her to go upstairs and get some sleep. She wanted to tell her to stay away from all of this. She wanted to tell her that this washer job and she would damn well handle it. What she said was, "Lindsey said it's up to you. She said follow your instincts."
Blair straightened, staring at the monitor as if she could will a message to appear. "Well then, let's get down and dirty."
Three hours later, it began.
A001-at-worldnet.com: I've missed you. Are you hiding? NYC1112-at-freemail.com: I got your message. Let's talk.
The four people watching the monitor held their collective breath. It was the first time that Egret had suggested a real time chat. If it spooked him and he terminated all email contact, they might lose their only route of communication at a time when information was critical.
"Come on you prick, bite," Mac murmured. He rocked in his seat, his body so tense he vibrated. God, he wanted this guy.
Cam looked at Blair, who sat with her hands poised on the keyboard, focused and intent. Cam clenched her fists and shoved her hands into her pockets, torn between wanting him to answer and wishing he would disappear into the amorphous world of cyberspace.
Felicia Davis calmly readied the back-up drives and prepared yet another worm to launch. "One of these times I'll get you," she said under her breath. He was out there, not so very far away, she could feel him on the line. Her fingers raced on the keys with the speed and sixth sense of an expert cracker.
Blair waited. She knew what none of the others understood. Thiswas about her - it had always been about her. Shewas the woman the cameras captured and the newspapers wrote about, just as she was the woman who painted late into the still night, and the woman who trembled helplessly in Cameron Roberts' arms. He simply wanted the woman that the world had made its own.
She breathed out slowly as the lines appeared.
A001-at-worldnet.com: Go tohttp://www.privatetalk.com/ , the game room. NYC1112-at-freemail.com: How will I find you? A001-at-worldnet.com: Don't worry. I'll find you.
Blair didn't hesitate. She typed quickly,I'll be waiting.
Chapter Thirty-Five
05:45
Lindsey Ryan sat alone in the conference room, a can of soda by her right hand, and stacks of papers and folders scattered around her. She was leaning her head in her left palm, staring at a computer printout. She jumped at the sound of the deep quiet voice from behind her.
"What do you think?"
Lindsey looked up as Cam approached, noticing the very fine lines of stress around her eyes. Other than that small sign, she didn't appear to have a concern in the world. Except that Lindsey knew that she hadn't slept more than an hour or two in the last three days, unless she did it with her eyes open. She was rarely out of the command center.
"I think he's crazy as a loon."
Cam smiled grimly. "Will he show?"
Ryan sighed, and looked back at the critical portion of the transcript for the hundredth time.
A001-at-worldnet.com: Why won't you believe me? NYC1112-at-freemail.com:: About what? A001-at-worldnet.com: That I worship you. You're all I care about. NYC1112-at-freemail.com:: Maybe because you're killing people and threatening my friends. A001-at-worldnet.com: You don't leave me any choice. You ignore me. NYC1112-at-freemail.com::I'm not ignoring you now. A001-at-worldnet.com: This isn't enough. NYC1112-at-freemail.com:: What do you want? A001-at-worldnet.com: I want to see you. I want to make you understand. NYC1112-at-freemail.com:: Do you really love me? A001-at-worldnet.com: I live for you. NYC1112-at-freemail.com:: If I come, will you stop the killing? A001-at-worldnet.com: Yes. NYC1112-at-freemail.com:: Do you promise? A001-at-worldnet.com: I have been patient long enough. You know what I'll do if you deny me.
Lindsey pointed to the last line. "Here's the problem part. Until this point, he's negotiating. But the minute Egret questions him, which, by the way, I'm glad she did - it's in character for her - he reverts to threats."
Cam's stomach clenched. "Is he threateningher ?"
Lindsey hesitated. "Probably. Yes - I think yes. He's had his fill of substitutes, I think. He wants her and no one else. If he can't have her now, I'd say that she'll become his target, and he won't stop until you catch him."
Cam pulled out the chair next to her and sat, rubbing her eyes. "What does that mean for the operation? Will he show?"
"He's highly intelligent, so he must suspect a trap. On the other hand, he's arrogant and believes that he can't be caught. It depends on the balance between his ability to think rationally and his need to see her - to touch her - in the flesh. By now he must be wild for her. So - maybe."
"I need better than 'maybe', Ryan," Cam said quietly. "I've got an agent going into that meet alone. And I've got Egret locked up in here and I can't keep her here forever." She repeated, "Will he be there?"
Lindsey considered the image of the man she had formed in her mind after spending dozens of hours reading his messages to Blair Powell. He was completely and totally obsessed with her, and he spent every second of every day thinking about her. He fantasized about her returning his affections, about her fulfilling his needs; he had built an elaborate delusional system with her as his psychosexual center; he had resorted to violence to make her recognize his desires.
"He'll be there."
Cam stood, satisfied. They had less than a day to prepare, and even though Doyle was coordinating the teams, she was reviewing everything herself. Ellen Grant was going in with every bit of protection Cam could give her.
"Why is he doing this?" Cam asked finally. "He must know we'll be all over that place."
Lindsey shrugged. "Ms. Powell assured him that she would not reveal their plans
. Heneeds to believe that, because he needs to believe that she desires him, the way he desires her. The rational part of him will be suspicious, but the psychotic part desperately needs to believe that she is coming to him out of mutual love and desire."
"What if he discovers that she betrayed him?"
Lindsey Ryan said quietly, "Then he'll kill her, or anyone we send in her place."
10:30
Stark found her in the workout room down the hall from the command center. She was wearing black lycra shorts and a sports bra and she was punching hell out of a heavy hanging bag. The sweat on her skin made its coffee color shine like bronze and Stark felt her mouth go dry watching her. She'd looked like a gazelle running that day in the park - Jesus, was it only six days ago? - but now, with her muscles tensing under her smooth skin and the swift, even recoil of her limbs as she danced around the swinging bag, she looked more like a leopard running its prey to ground.
Savard looked over and saw her standing there, an expression on her face that would have surely made her blush if she'd seen herself. She smiled as she thundered one last right hook into the leather. Then she wiped her forearm across her face, shook most of the sweat from her hair, and walked over to her.
"Any news?"
Stark shook her head. "Still a green light for tonight."
"Good," Savard grunted, working at the laces on her right glove with her teeth. "It's time to put this bastard away."
"Here, let me get that," Stark said, reaching for the ties on the heavy boxing glove. Her hands were shaking. God.
Savard stepped back a pace and looked at her. "You okay?" she said, her voice surprisingly soft. The bruises had faded from around Stark's eyes, but the stitches were still there, a neat row of tiny black ants marching across her smooth pale forehead. "Does your head still hurt?" she asked even more gently.
"No," Stark said, not looking up, her head bent as she worked at the stubborn knot in the laces. "It's fine."
Savard raised the glove until it rested under Paula Stark's chin and then gently pushed, forcing her head up, forcing Stark to look at her. "Do you want to tell me what's wrong?"
Stark stood very still, struggling to express emotions she scarcely understood herself. "It's going to get hectic later. I'll be in one of the back-up cars. I probably won't see you alone again before you go."
Renee waited.
Stark swallowed. "I just wanted to remind you that we -- that later -- when you get back"
"We have a date. I won't forget," Renee said tenderly. She leaned forward and kissed her very lightly on the mouth. "You're brave, you know." She wasn't talking about the job.
"Not so very," Stark whispered, trembling in a place she had never trembled before.
"I'll see you when it's over," Savard murmured, then stepped around her and disappeared.
Stark closed her eyes, feeling the kiss still soft upon her lips.Please just come back.
15:30
Cam stood to the rear of the room, listening while Doyle outlined the operation assignments to the FBI, ATF, SWAT and bomb squads. The State Police would be assisting with road blocks once the assault and capture teams were in place, and their captain was there, too.
Eight hours to go.
She was there because she wanted to know where everyone else would be if things started to go bad. Grant would not be caught in anybody's crossfire, because Cam intended to be right on her heels. She had been involved in the planning from the minute Loverboy took the bait and gave Blair the location - an abandoned amusement park. Doyle couldn't keep her out since he was using her agent.
Cam looked at Grant now, and motioned with her head to the hallway outside.
"You okay?" Cam asked.
Grant nodded. "Fine."
"Savard will wire you before you armor up," Cam reminded her. "I want to hear your voice every step. Everything you hear, everything you see, everything youthink you see - I want to know about it."
"Yes, ma'am."
"You key on my voice. You do not engage, you do not intercept, unless you hear it from me."
Grant looked at her, a question in her eyes. SAC Doyle was supposed to be relaying her orders from a surveillance post on top of a warehouse five hundred yards from the contact point.
"I'll be on the ground with Savard, closer to you than anyone else," Cam said. "I'll hear the directives at the same time you do. And I'll have a better read on the situation than he will. You go when I confirm, understood?"
"Yes, ma'am, I understand," Grant said. "Thank you." She hesitated a second, then added quietly, "Commander, my husband's on patrol tonight. I'll leave his number-"
Cam interrupted firmly. "The only person calling your husband tonight, Agent Grant, will be you when this action is over. Are we clear on that?"
Grant smiled gratefully. "Yes, ma'am. Quite clear."
"Good, then go get some rest."
Cam watched her walk away and checked her watch. Then she went in search of Savard.
17:30
Savard was laying out body armor and sorting rounds of ammunition in the small weapons room next to the main command center when Cam found her.
"Everything in order?"
Savard glanced up at her and nodded. "Yes ma'am. Locked and loaded."
"Good," Cam replied, leaning against the doorway, her arms folded over her chest. "About tonight," she began.
"Yes?" Savard replied, studying her, noting the hard stillness in her eyes. There was a finality there that told her whatever was coming was not going to be negotiable.
"Ellen Grant is mine," Cam said quietly. "No one is going to order her into danger except me."
Savard thought about that. She could go to Doyle now and tell him that there was a conflict in command, because she knew that he expected to control Grant's movements. Roberts was giving her a choice. Which meant that she was also giving her the responsibility, and the accountability. Once they reached the rendezvous, there would just be the four of them. Grant, Roberts, her and - Loverboy. It came down to who she wanted to make the final call, and whose judgment she wanted to rely on in the heat of the moment.
"You'll be the senior agent in the field, Commander," she said quite clearly. "I have no problem with you making the call."
Cam nodded and straightened up. She still needed to go over the com links with Mac, and then review the construction plans they had received from the city planning office for the amusement park. She needed-
"Commander?" Savard said, breaking into her thoughts.
"Yes?" Cam asked.
"You'll need to be fresh, too, and you haven't had much sleep the last couple of days."
Cam raised an eyebrow, surprised by her frankness.
"There's still a few hours before we have to gear up," Savard remarked.
"I'll take that under advisement," Cam said. "Thank you, Agent."
Savard took one step forward, reached to touch her, then stopped. "We're all trained for this. It must be very difficult for someone who isn't - the uncertainty of it all." She hesitated, then added, "She'll need to hear that you'll be back."
Cam stared at her, expressionless for what seemed like an interminable length of time, before a grin lifted one corner of her mouth. "They certainly are not making FBI agents the way they used to."
Savard grinned back. "No, ma'am, they're not."
Chapter thirty-six
18:00
For the third time in as many days, Cam stood at Blair's door, knowing that when she crossed the threshold, her life would change. Each time she stepped outside of her comfortable world of regulations and routine to enter the uncertain arena of her relationship with Blair, she came away more deeply bound to her. It wasn't easy, but she couldn't deny that she wanted it. More than that, she couldn't deny that she needed it.
Blair opened the door and said softly, "Hi."
"Hi," Cam said, not yet moving to enter. Blair looked tired and that was unusual for her. There were smudges of fatigue under her eyes and the sm
ile she offered Cam was tinged with sadness. Cam reached out and ran her fingertips over Blair's cheek. "Have you slept?"
Blair shook her head. "I meant to, but I couldn't stop thinking."
"You should try," Cam said gently. "It's going to be a long night."
"I know," Blair answered softly. She wanted to reach out to her, to pull her inside. But she also knew that she wanted tokeep her inside, away from the night, away from the danger, and that wasn't her choice to make. It hurt to think that Cam would not choose safety over responsibility, even for her. So she stood waiting, wondering what it was that Cam really wanted. Finally she said, "I wasn't sure you would come."