by Alla Kar
“I suppose you’re down to see your dad, right?”
I looked over at her. “Yes, ma’am.”
“I’ve been prayin’ for him, dear. I sure hope he pulls through, but if not, he’ll be better off than here.”
I fidgeted in my seat. I didn’t want to talk about my dad. Seeing him suffer was hard enough. Talking about it only deepened the wound. “You’ve been working for my momma for a year, right?”
She nodded, keeping her eyes on the road. “Right.”
“Have you noticed anything different about her? Is she quieter than before? Or is it just me?”
She glanced my way with a look I couldn’t pinpoint. “I’m not sure, sweetheart. Maybe you should talk to her about it.”
Talk to her about it? About what? The way she said it made me think she did know something but didn’t want to say. Since when did anyone in this town not gossip? I gave her a tight-lipped grin and sat back in my seat.
My cell phone buzzed in my pocket. Dammit, Sam.
Sam: Are you okay? I never heard from you yesterday.
Josie: Sorry. I was briefly kidnapped by incest mountain people. They gave me back.
Sam: *Snort.* Did you not take a bath? Is that why they returned you unharmed? Is everything okay?
No, everything wasn’t okay. But I didn’t text that. I didn’t want Sam to worry about me. Being here wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle, right?
Josie: My hygiene is fine. I was too much for them. Everything is fine. Talked to my dad yesterday.
“We’re here,” Bug said, grabbing her shopping list. I followed her out of the car and into the over-priced grocery store. It was the only one in town, which gave them license to charge an arm and leg.
“What’s first?” Bug whispered to herself, looking over the list.
My phone buzzed.
Sam: Let me know if you need anything. I love you, Sookie.
I followed her around the corner and heard, “Mamaw. What are you doin’ here?”
I looked up and froze. Jace was stalking toward Bug with a huge smile on his face. Well, until he saw me and his mouth dropped opened. That’s where I knew her from. How could I have forgotten? Oh, no. “Hey, handsome,” she said, reaching up to pull him into a hug. “Josie and I are gettin’ some groceries for her momma.”
Jace’s brown eyes flicked to mine and he grinned wider. Jace was the most annoying son of a bitch I’d ever met. Being best friends with my secret boyfriend was enough to make me tolerate him. Now, not so much.
“Josie Grosie,” he said, opening his arms for a hug.
That bastard. I hated when he called me that and he knew it. Bug slapped his shoulder. “Don’t you call her that. You’re supposed to greet her nicely, son.”
I ignored his waiting arms.
“Oh, Mamaw. We go way back, and Josie knows she’s beautiful. She’s loved by many,” he said, giving me that stupid smart-ass smirk.
When I didn’t step into his hug, he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me. I patted his back. “We missed you,” he said, pulling back.
We. I knew that we meant Boone and him, which made it hard to meet his eyes afterward. He knew everything. I was sure Boone had told his best friend everything about us. The thought made my cheeks burn.
“She is a beautiful young lady, isn’t she?” Bug smiled over at me. “Now we have work to do. You not workin’ with the Crosses today?”
My eyes snapped to his, and he was already staring at me. “We took the day off. Boone isn’t feelin’ too good and we need his help to do the job.”
He wasn’t feeling well? He sure as hell was feeling fine last night when he chased me down and shoved his tongue down my throat. I rolled my eyes and picked at the imaginary lint on my shirt. I wouldn’t feel bad for him. He didn’t deserve my kisses or thoughts. He’d abandoned me.
“Poor son. He’s such a sweet young man.”
I snorted without thinking. Bug glanced my way with a lifted brow, but I started trying to erase the mark on the tile beneath my boot.
“I’ve got to get goin’, Mamaw. I’m working on my truck today, and it’s gettin’ hot as hell out there.”
“Watch your mouth.” She swatted at him. “Now get goin’. I’ll see ya soon. Oh! You should drop by the Sawyers’ today. I’m making cookies.”
Jace gave me a satisfied smirk that pissed me off. “I’ll be there. You know I don’t pass an opportunity to eat.”
She laughed and shooed him away. “Be safe,” she called after him.
He threw a wave over his shoulder and a wink my direction. Gah, I was so glad he’d left. “My grandson,” she whispered to herself. “Now, you ready to get these groceries for your momma?”
I nodded, not sure I wanted to try and speak. The reality of living in a small town was dawning on me again. There was no way I was going to be able to avoid Boone Cross. I had a feeling he was going to come after me.
***
Someone’s loud engine rattled down our long gravel driveway. I glanced up from my Kindle at the kitchen counter and glanced toward the door. “That must be Jace,” Bug said, looking at the clock. “He’s early.”
Oh, shit. I didn’t realize he’d be over so soon. It was only two and Dad wouldn’t be up until four thirty for supper, but I did not want to see him again. “Oh, well look at the time,” I said, getting up from the barstool. “I’m goin’ to take a shower since I’m goin’ to see Daddy soon.”
Bug glanced up from the tray of cookies and frowned. “You sure you don’t want to wait?”
I most certainly did not want to wait. The shower just seemed the most logical place not to be bothered. “It’s almost two and I just need to go see him,” I lied. I hated using him as an excuse. I was going to see him but I didn’t want to see Jace—at all.
Bug nodded. “Well, okay. I’ll save you a couple of cookies. Jace is a vacuum when it comes to sweets.”
I knew. He’d eaten all of the cupcakes I’d made for Boone on Valentine’s Day—and that’s why I didn’t want to see him. There were too many memories.
“Thank you,” I said.
I hurried up the stairs and into my room to change. The front door opened and closed quickly, and then footsteps banged against the wood. I grabbed the shower knob and waited until I heard Jace, but I didn’t. I heard Boone.
“What the—” I gritted through my teeth. I turned the shower on, drowning out any chance of hearing him. If I heard his voice, I’d melt inside. I gripped the hot-water knob and bit my lip. He was in my house. How insane it was to be so close to him.
I pressed the knob down, my fingers tightened around the handle. His laughter echoed up the stairs, and my body went rigid. I pressed harder against the knob, and an uncontrollable urge to cry overwhelmed me. Then something flew past my head and hit the opposite shower wall. Water shot out from where the handle had been and into the air. “Shit!” I yelped, covering myself from the stream of scalding water. “Shit. Shit. Shit!” I used my hands as shields as I fumbled for the knob that dented my shower wall, but it was so hot.
“Josie! Are you okay, hon?”
“The water!” I yelled. “I can’t get it to stop!”
“Oh, honey!”
Someone was coming in, but I couldn’t see. It was like a damn rainstorm around me. The shower door swung opened and two seconds later the water subsided.
A sigh of relief left my mouth at the same time I saw him. Boone stood soaking wet. His gray T-shirt was slick against the ridges of his stomach and arms. His eyes were all over me, searching every inch of my quivering body as I stood naked in my shower.
“Holy fuck,” he mumbled under his breath. “Goddammit.” Both hands were clenched at his sides and his body shook. There wasn’t one word I could think to say. I wanted him to see what he was missing, but not like this. Definitely not like this.
“Get out,” I snapped.
His eyes met mine, and my sex clenched. He was so beautiful. The moon had been my only light t
he night before, but now I saw everything. Everything that had changed. And everything that hadn’t. The small scar on his upper lip was there, but the smooth skin was covered in stubble that drove me crazy. He looked older, his arms bigger, his muscles more defined. The childish look in his eyes was gone, and all I could see from head to toe was pure male perfection.
“No,” he said back, daring me to say anything else.
“This isn’t your fuckin’ house. Get out!” My voice was rising but I didn’t care. I wanted to show control, that he didn’t affect me the way he did.
Boone narrowed his gaze. “It’s not your house either.”
“Is everything okay in there?” Bug asked from outside the door.
“Everything is fine,” Boone said, his voice less angry.
Outraged, I shoved him hard in the chest but he didn’t budge, which only made me angrier. “Get out!” I screamed.
The door creaked opened one small inch, enough for Jace to speak but not enough for him to see anything. “Boone, do you need any hel—”
“Get out!” Boone snapped.
“We need to talk,” Boone said calmly.
Is he insane? Grinding my teeth together, I matched his gaze. If he thought he was going to dominate me, he had another thing coming. “I have nothin’ to say to you.”
Boone gave me the smart-ass grin that he knew pissed me off. “You don’t have a fuckin’ choice. You’re going to talk to me, Raven.”
I slapped him—hard. It rang against the walls of the bathroom, and my fingers stung from the impact. His eyes flew back to mine and fire danced around the edges. “Does slapping me help?” he asked. He stepped forward and grabbed my hand, placing it on his cheek. My body hummed from the way his rough fingers felt against my soft hand. “Do it again, baby. Get it out. Is that what I have to do to get a fuckin’ conversation out of you? Huh?” He took my hand and hit it against his face.
I jerked my hand away from his. “I don’t want to talk to you.”
“I don’t give a shit if you do or not. You’re here and I’m not missing my chance to talk this through. You either meet me tonight or I’m going to camp out in your backyard.”
No. No. No. He was not in control. “I’ll talk to you when I’m good and damn ready. Now get your ass out of my bathroom.”
“Boone? Josie? Is everything alright in there?” Bug called from the cracked door again.
“It’s fine, Bug,” I called out, never breaking his gaze. “Boone was just leaving.”
Chapter Seven
Boone
The Sawyers’ door slammed shut behind me and rattled the windows on the porch. Something inside me was raging, urging me to do things I didn’t want to do. I didn’t want to fuck up her house; I wanted her to love me. And that’s why I was mad. Breaking shit wouldn’t help—here. I’d wait until I got home.
“Boone! Hold on, buddy!”
I groaned. I didn’t want to talk to Jace. This was the stupidest idea he’d ever had. I shouldn’t have gotten out of the truck when he made the left turn down her road instead of hitting the Jersey road to the fishing hole. He’d avoided eye contact until he parked. Smart guy. I wasn’t allowed on their land, but Jace insisted I just come inside because no one was home. I’d reluctantly gone inside, but I shouldn’t have gotten out of his truck.
Grabbing the door handle, I screwed my eyes shut to keep from turning around and plowing my fists into his face. I jerked the door opened then slammed it shut. I didn’t care that I’d humiliated myself in front of Bug, but because I had humiliated her. I didn’t plan on screaming at her or gawking like a fifteen-year-old boy that’d never seen a naked woman before. Guilt slammed into my chest. I’d put her in a vulnerable situation and tried to force her to talk to me.
What an asshole. I just couldn’t leave. My body was frozen, hypnotized by what I’d once had. By what I still craved.
Jace ran around the front of the truck and jumped inside. “Don’t say a damn word or I’m going to whoop your ass,” I said.
He must have sensed that I was serious and started the truck. We rode in silence to my house. The only sound was the rattling of his old pickup on the dirt road. The more I thought about Josie the more pissed I became. And the lack of an air conditioner was really adding fuel to the fire.
I untightened my grip on the ‘oh-shit’ handle when he stopped in front of my house and jumped out before he could turn the truck off. Duke came barreling toward me but I sidestepped him and ran for the porch.
“Boone, I should have told you we were going there. I knew you wouldn’t go if I did. And I shouldn’t have tried to get you to go inside. I’m sorry, but you’ve got to go make her understand what happened—”
I turned on my heel and came face to face with him. Jace’s eyes were level with mine, his jaw set. “Jace. I’m only going to say this one more time. Don’t worry about it. I’m a grown-ass man that can handle his own shit.”
“Obviously,” he said. “Because that went so fucking well.”
Anger boiled inside of me. “Because I wasn’t expecting it! You tossed me to the wolves, Jace. I don’t need your help.”
He stared blankly at me for a few seconds, gave me a clipped nod, and walked back to his truck. I didn’t care that he was pissed because this wasn’t his business.
I stormed toward my house, my fists clenching at my sides. I flung a table across the lawn and the wood broke into shards. Duke sat in the safety of the steps watching me with folded ears. I felt so stupid for being so mad, but I had a problem of fucking everything up.
I dragged myself inside, fed Duke, and stripped down for a shower. I waited until the water was hot then I stepped inside and closed my eyes. The water dripping down her face, down her soft curves, was the only thing I could see. Tanned legs and perfect thighs that had wrapped around my waist and pushed me deeper so many times.
Before I could stop myself, I wrapped my hand around my dick and began to stroke myself. I hadn’t masturbated to the thought of her in months. It’d taken more force than when I stopped dipping, which showed me I was more addicted to her than I ever imagined.
My fingers clenched tightly and I pulsed harder, imagining letting her take all of her frustration out on me.
I felt myself letting go a few minutes later, but the throbbing pain in my head didn’t subside, it worsened. Instead of getting dressed, I crawled into my bedroom and fell asleep quicker than I ever had. Loving Josie Sawyer was the most mentally and physically draining thing I’d ever done. But nothing worth fighting for comes easy.
***
I woke up naked, face down on my bed with Duke sprawled out beside me. My phone vibrated on the wooden nightstand with full ninja force. It wasn’t stopping.
Stretching, I reached over and slammed my palm down until the only thing I could hear was the sound of the birds outside. God, my head still hurt. You would have thought I’d gotten shitfaced the night before.
I crawled out of bed and stalked downstairs. The sun was shining low in the sky, casting an orange glow over the house. I’d seen this time of morning too many times as a teenager, sneaking out of my house and into hers, or sneaking back in after a night in the treehouse.
When I was roofing, I remembered her every day when I saw this sunrise. Duke lapped up the dog food I gave him while I got dressed and hurried out of the door.
The job we were working on was close by and I made it there just as Dad was setting up. Jace wasn’t here, but I knew he’d show up. If there was one thing Jace wasn’t, it was lazy.
Dad’s head rose as I walked toward him, slinging my tool belt around my waist, I watched as his face morphed into anger. Great. What the hell did I do this time?
“What did we talk about the other day, son?” he asked before I even got to him.
I think back to what he’s talking about, and I was ninety-nine percent sure that it was about Josie. Instead of answering, I shrugged. “Don’t know.”
Dad’s lips pressed together and he
slung his hammer to the ground at my feet. “Boone, I’ve only asked one thing of you my entire life. You have to stay away from her. I won’t tolerate it.”
Goddammit. Clenching my fists, I tried to breathe in and out a few times, but it wasn’t helping. The condescending tone in his voice pushed me closer to the edge. I didn’t want him telling me who I could be with or not. I’d spent years hiding my feelings. “What are you talkin’ about?”
“Don’t play stupid. I heard about the bonfire and how you chased after her. Boone,” he said, closing his eyes and shaking his head. “Don’t do this, please. I’m begging you to leave the girl alone.”
Begging me. Like she was bad news for me. Like she was the town slut or had hurt me. The look of outrage pushed me that final inch over the cliff. “Why?” I screamed. “I don’t understand why I have to stop. I’m in love with her dad. Don’t you fuckin’ know how that feels? Did you not love my mother?”
His eyes rounded. “Don’t you preach to me about love, Boone. I know what it’s like to be in love. And you’re twenty-one! You’re not in love with her. You just think you’re in love with her.”
What! How in the hell can he tell me who I love? “I want to know right now why I can’t be with her, or I’m going to ask her dying father in the hospital.”
He spit on the ground. “I won’t talk about that son of a bitch. It doesn’t matter why, just that I’m telling you no.”
“I’m twenty-one!” I roared. “If I want to marry her and have fifty kids, I’ll do it. If you can’t tell me why, then I’ll find out for myself.”
My father’s face turned sad, and my heart hurt. I hated fighting with him, but I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed to find out why we were forbidden to be together. Why I couldn’t just love her.
Dad seemed to calm but he was just as mad. “If you go talk to Mr. Sawyer I’m going to disown you. I’ve asked you for this one thing and you can’t do it. Your brother obeyed.”