“Thank you for coming so quickly,” she said before reluctantly stepping away to pull Thaniel into her arms. Tierney could feel how scared he’d been that he was going to lose her. “I’m right here, love,” she said, reassuring him.
“I had to come. I couldn’t stay home,” Thaniel whispered against her ear and she held him tighter. Then she remembered the plans they had for that afternoon. Thaniel wanted to bring flowers to his friend’s daughter’s grave. “I’m sorry, I know we said we would take you to the cemetery today, but is it okay if we go tomorrow?”
“Yes, of course,” he said.
“Ahm … Brim and I are going to scout around with the others, so I’ll see you all at home?” Sami asked, interrupting them. Tierney nodded. A moment later Sami shifted into his dragon and flew away with Brimstone.
Tierney turned to climb into the front seat with Thaniel and Jax, when she noticed Soroyan shaking uncontrollably in the back seat. “I’m going to ride back there,” she said.
Jax scowled.
“I can stop his seizures,” she added before he could object, but that didn’t seem to help.
“Jax, you know how deeply I love you and Thaniel, it’s not like that with Soroyan. He’s my friend and he’s in pain. He needs my help,” she said. Finally, with a resigned sigh, Jax nodded.
“Tell Kyrian not to tell pack,” Soroyan mumbled once she slid into the car beside him.
“Tell the pack what?” she asked with a frown. “And you can’t speak to him?”
Turquoise eyes met hers. “No, I can’t, and I don’t want them aware that I can’t use my power,” he said.
Tierney thought about what he said and frowned. The collar sure crippled them if they couldn’t even telepath. Then she thought about his request and wasn’t sure what the pack knowing would matter. “You think they will think less of you?”
Soroyan shook his head. “They’ve had a lot of disappointments lately. They don’t need to know their enforcer is useless. It will only bring them down more.”
“You aren’t useless,” she said, getting angry.
“Tierney—” he said, staring intently at her.
“Fine, I’ll let Kyrian know.” Tierney wasn’t sure if she completely agreed, but she could see his point and contacted his brother to convey his wishes.
There was a long pause before the Okami leader answered her and then he only asked how far away they were.
“We’re almost home,” she said as they crested the rise.
She could see Kyrian and one of his warriors waiting as Jax pulled up. He’d barely stopped the car before Kyrian was yanking the back door open.
“Soroyan?” Kyrian’s voice wavered as he stared in horror at his brother.
“We need to get him inside,” Tierney said, and finally the leader of the Okami blinked.
“What?”
“Inside. He’s hurt,” Tierney repeated and Kyrian glanced at Soroyan once more.
“Right. Inside,” he said, and proceeded to help his brother from the car.
Tierney followed them out and once again she slipped her arm around the big guy, while Kyrian helped from the other side. As they began to walk, Soroyan grunted and then sucked in a painful breath.
Kyrian’s warrior came forward. “Let me help.”
“No, I have him,” Tierney answered, knowing Soroyan didn’t want anyone aware of the extent of what was wrong with him.
“No,” Soroyan protested as they began to lead him inside, but Tierney shushed him. “You need somewhere safe to rest.”
“Outside,” he breathed through the pain.
Tierney shook her head. “Quit being so damn stubborn. You need to be inside where others can help you, and until we get this figured out, yes, where you will be safe, too.”
He didn’t say a word, though she could feel his displeasure as they carefully laid him on the bed in the room next to her dad.
“I have to tell your brother,” Tierney said, climbing up beside him so she could keep one hand on him to prevent him from seizing.
She waited until he agreed.
Chapter Seventeen
Trapped
Soroyan closed his eyes and listened to Tierney explain what was going on. He’d been shocked when she challenged him earlier and if he hadn’t been so upset and furious, his wolf would have enjoyed the challenge.
His wolf recognized the dragon within her as a powerful and dominant being and finally settled down, until she removed her hand from him. Then panic, a feeling neither he nor his wolf was familiar with, consumed his wolf once again. He began to shift. Fast. One moment wolf, the next human and back again. He’d tried to stop it, but as weak as he’d grown, it wasn’t possible.
When she had touched him again, he felt her magic calm and sooth him, settling his wolf right down.
Then she had pulled him into her arms and he’d been completely stunned and hadn’t known what to think. It had been hundreds of years since anyone had dared touch him. As Tierney’s warmth and magic soothed him, he realized that while it felt good, that was all.
She stopped speaking and the thick silence drew his eyes open. Tierney, along with Jax, Sami, and Kyrian, all stared at him with varying horrified or pitying expressions. Never one to run or hide, he ground his teeth and for the first time ever, wished he could crawl into a hole. Instead, he bit back the growl that ached to burst from his lips and glowered at everyone.
Without a word, Kyrian reached for the collar around his neck. Soroyan felt his brother summon his power, but it was to no avail. Then Kyrian drew on the power of all the pack, and even that didn’t work. The collar remained.
“Maybe a different kind of magic will work?” Jax suggested and then he tried. Again, nothing happened. Annoyance set in at everyone touching his neck and his skin practically itched at their closeness.
“We could call in Genna,” Tierney suggested, rubbing his arm absently.
Soroyan finally let out the growl he’d been holding back. “No. Enough, it’s not coming off without the key and I’m tired of everyone fussing over me.”
“Fine, let me call our sister to at least heal you,” Kyrian said, and while Soroyan had his doubts that Sasha, their pack healer, would have any more luck, he nodded.
A moment later a knock sounded. Sami opened it and moved out of the way so Sasha could enter.
“Soroyan,” Sasha said, her frost-blue eyes showing no emotion as she moved up beside him. Silently, Kyrian, Jax, and Sami left the room.
Ten minutes later, Sasha sighed and though she immediately tried to mask her feelings, he still caught a glimpse of sadness in her eyes. “I am sorry, I cannot heal you. The collar is blocking my magic.”
Soroyan knew it wasn’t Sasha’s fault, and really, he wasn’t all that surprised. Still, he struggled to hold back a furious roar. Then Kyrian and Jax came back into the room.
“Leave me alone,” he snapped, all of a sudden exhausted and tired of the pity in everyone’s eyes as they tried not to stare at him.
Without another word, Sasha abruptly turned and walked out, making him feel even worse. Ever since he left the pack all those hundreds of years ago, things had been tense between them. He didn’t blame her, she’d only ever tried to help. He’d been unapproachable and surly after returning and they’d both been cautious ever since.
After Sasha left, no one else moved and Soroyan motioned to the door. “I said go. Leave me alone,” he repeated, while his brother, Jax, and Tierney shared a look.
“That’s going to be a problem,” Tierney finally said to him.
Soroyan growled low in his chest. “I don’t care, just go.”
Purple eyes flashing with anger, Tierney did as he asked and moved away. Immediately, Soroyan’s wolf rose to the surface and began to panic.
Soroyan’s wolf liked Tierney and understood that her touch soothed him, kept him grounded and feeling safe.
When she pulled him into her arms earlier in the woods, it had taken him a moment to accept that
she cared enough to bother. As she held him tight, and tried to reassure him, he tried to fight it. He wasn’t used to anyone trying to help him, but in the end, he just gave in.
He hated that her pure light drew him, and the fact that she cared made his wolf want to sing to the moon. He’d been alone so long.
With her touch gone, the darkness quickly seeped back in, leaving the wolf alone once again and trapped.
Never in his life had he ever felt trapped in the human body he often wore. He’d always known that they were two parts of a whole; that he could shift at any moment and feel the wind in his coat. Stretch his legs and run on all fours.
The moment the collar had been put on, it had sucked all his power and left him feeling completely bound. Helpless, even though he knew he wasn’t. Or maybe he was, since he could barely walk without help. The feeling was so disturbing, so consuming, his wolf’s mind couldn’t handle it.
Not even when he’d gone rogue and been captured, had it felt this smothering. No, back then he may have been in a cage, but his wolf was still free. He felt like he was wrapped in a dark, tight skin he couldn’t break free from.
The wolf began to fight, his only thought … escape.
Soroyan gasped in a deep breath as he once again began to shift quickly from one form to the next, never able to grasp and hold onto his wolf form.
“No!” Jax shouted, but Soroyan didn’t even hear him.
Chapter Eighteen
Dominant
Jax watched Tierney’s hand hover over Soroyan’s arm. “You can’t continue to hold on to him. It’s impossible,” he said, bringing Kyrian into the conversation as well.
“What do we do? We can’t let him continue like this,” she answered, and his heart squeezed with love. He had never met anyone so compassionate in his life.
“It will kill him. I can’t lose my brother again,” Kyrian said. Jax wondered what he meant, but they didn’t have time to ask. He glanced back at Tierney.
“You said his wolf listened when you drew on your dragon, correct?” he asked.
“Yes, but it didn’t help when I let go.” Tierney said, and with a nod, Jax summoned his own power and let his magic fill him.
“That’s because the wolf likes your touch, and while you can be ferocious and kick-ass strong, you are also tender and kind,” he said, then grinned. “I have an idea.”
Magic filled the air, making Soroyan snarl between convulsions as Jax did a partial shift.
Midnight-blue scales, with a faint light-blue glow under each, rose up on his arms, chest and back. Along his shoulders, they grew to sharp spikes, while his eyes began to shine a darker blue, ringed with red.
Jax let out a low, commanding growl and wrapped a sharply taloned hand around Soroyan’s throat.
Kyrian tensed up and Tierney held up her hand, stopping the Okami leader. “No, don’t. Trust Jax. He won’t hurt your brother.”
Jax let his long talons rake Soroyan’s neck. The wolf went ballistic with the need to be free, to fight this enemy who held his life in a deadly grip. Then the wolf paused as if sensing the dragon within Jax.
Jax leaned over the bed, face inches from Soroyan’s. He could feel his dragon’s curiosity as he stared at the wolf trapped in human form. Red rage-filled eyes met his in challenge and Jax’s dragon grunted in appreciation.
Soroyan was even more powerful than Jax had ever guessed. Yet every Dracones drew on a magic that was as ancient as time itself.
“Tierney, I need you to channel your power to me,” Jax said, and as soon as she touched him, he immediately felt her familiar dragon rise to the surface. His own dragon began to hum happily, wanting to play. No, we have work to do! Jax bit back the smile when a wave of pure, strong, sweet power began to flow through him.
Letting it mingle with his, he brought it all to the surface as he continued to stare at Soroyan’s wolf.
“I know you hate being trapped. But you will stop this, right now. It is not forever. We will find a way to set you free, but you fighting isn’t helping. You need to accept. Go to sleep,” Jax said, using his dominance and power to thrust the compulsion to the fore. The wolf studied him for a long moment before he finally hesitated. His eyes shifted back to human a moment and then the wolf was staring at him again, just not as fiercely anymore.
“Only until we can figure out how to get this off you,” Jax added, and in acceptance, the red vanished to be replaced by Soroyan’s turquoise eyes.
“Get. Off. Of. Me,” Soroyan bit out, furious.
Jax gave it another second, then, when he was finally satisfied, he released his hold on Soroyan’s neck and backed off.
“What did you do?” Soroyan asked, and Tierney caught the touch of panic along with the blazing anger he directed at Jax.
“I told your wolf to go to sleep until we can figure out how to get that thing off of you,” Jax said, nodding at the collar.
“I told you all to just leave me alone,” Soroyan said, turning his accusing gaze on his brother.
Kyrian flinched slightly as Tierney climbed off the bed and came around to stand between the two men. She touched Kyrian’s arm, but directed her words at Soroyan. “I’m sorry, we couldn’t just leave you like that.”
Betrayal shone from Soroyan’s eyes before he reached down and grabbed the blanket. He pulled it up over himself and then turned to face the wall, giving them his back.
Jax felt Tierney’s hurt and worry through their bond and started forward to set Soroyan straight.
“No, don’t,” she said, stopping him.
“He hurt you, both of you,” he said angrily.
“Jax, my love, it’s fine,” she said, then included Kyrian in the conversation. “Soroyan is hurt, scared, and feeling like he just lost a part of himself. He doesn’t mean it,” she said to them both.
Kyrian nodded, though he didn’t take his gaze off his brother.
“C’mon, let’s let him rest,” Jax said and held the door open. Tierney passed through, then after a moment of hesitation, Kyrian did as well.
Chapter Nineteen
Damaged Pride
Soroyan waited for the door to close, feeling like a complete asshole. He knew he should apologize, but the void inside of him yawned deep and dark. He thought he felt bereft before when his mate died, yet this was even worse. Never in his life had he felt so utterly alone and his mind was having a hard time accepting it. An ache burned in his chest that he couldn’t seem to push away. No matter where he’d been, or what he’d done, no matter how buried his humanity became, he’d always had his wolf. Though he heard what Jax had said and his mind knew that his other half was still there, just slumbering, he couldn’t get past the feeling that his wolf was gone and never coming back.
Never had he imagined living without that part of himself and it was sobering and terrifying. Who was he without his wolf? How could he be enforcer for the pack like this?
You wanted to give that up, remember? Soroyan snarled.
***
Soroyan tensed up when someone paused outside his door a little later. Drawing in a deep breath, he caught Tierney’s wildflower scent. A moment later she moved away from the door and he relaxed, glad she hadn’t come in. When she’d touched and held him earlier to calm the raging beast, he’d been startled to realize that while he still craved the sweet, pure light that soothed the darkness in him, he hadn’t felt anything sexual at all.
Then, when Jax’s dragon challenged him, he’d found he was finally okay with her being mated to the guy. It was a startling discovery. With a sigh, he rolled over in the soft, warm bed that felt way too comfortable. Loki! He swore to his grandfather who’d been a selfish bastard. I’m going to go soft. What the hell am I doing here? He was a wolf. He slept outdoors on the cold hard ground, close to Mother Nature.
He wanted to throw back his head and howl, let out all his pent-up anger, and if he were completely honest with himself, fear of being stuck forever in the collar around his neck.
Fe
ar was an emotion he didn’t have any experience with, and he wasn’t sure how to handle it.
A quiet knock sounded and he tensed up again. “What?” he growled and then felt bad when Tierney walked in, looking worried about him. That only pissed him off more. He didn’t need or want her worry, or pity.
“Can I sit with you for a minute?” she asked and he noted the white first aid kit in her hands and reluctantly nodded.
She didn’t say anything for a moment as they stared at each other. Finally, unable to handle the compassion in her eyes, he turned and trained his eyes on the ceiling.
“Why did you come?” he asked gruffly.
“I couldn’t sleep. I was worried about you, and I wanted to clean your wounds,” she said.
Stupid warmth unfurled inside of him that had nothing to do with sex.
“I’ll be fine,” he said, but a zing of doubt shot through him that he’d never get the collar off, or find his nephew, or most of all, that he’d never feel his wolf again.
“Soroyan, you know I’m an empath, right? I can feel what you feel and I know you aren’t fine,” she said.
He held perfectly still. He didn’t like anyone knowing how he felt but with all that had happened, he’d forgotten, which only pissed him off more. He’d need to guard himself better, re-enforce his ragged shields.
“I just want you to know that we won’t stop looking for a way to get that collar off of you,” she said.
Soroyan didn’t move or look at her.
“You aren’t alone,” she added. “You might not like it, but you have friends here.”
Soroyan finally looked at her, perplexed. He’d had pack, family, fellow warriors, but never friends.
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